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Authors: Rugved Mondkar

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“Hey, hi…” he said in a very cheerful voice and shook my hand. “Tell me how can I help you?”

“I’m Arjun Kulkarni,” I said hoping he would remember his conversation with my dad.

“Oh yes, Arjun... how are you, buddy?” he said and whistled out to a guy and gestured him to get the keys. “Number one,” he yelled, “How’s Arvind?”

“He’s fine,” I said.

“It’s the best room I have here. You are going to love it,” he said as he walked us across the white sand to our tent.

“I’m really thankful to you for letting us in on such a short...”

He cut me short.

“Oh skip the formalities, buddy. Your dad and I are school time
gotis,
” he said handing me the card to the room. “Just have fun, I’ll be happy,” he smiled.

“Thanks.” Shashank said.

Anyway, boys, let me wrap a few things up then we’ll have dinner together?”

“Sure, thanks,” I said.

“Here, take these.” He pulled a cigarette box full of joints from his pocket and handed it to me. “Have fun,” he winked at me and left.

The ‘tent’ was a twenty by twenty room with wooden flooring. A huge round bed big enough for five people and covered by drapes suspended from the ceiling occupied the centre. A
j
acuzzi in the bath with its windows facing the beach lent a view of bare bodied girls. It was paradise for single horny boys. Raghu and Shashank jumped in the tub to warm their bodies. I lit a joint and strolled on the beach, the wind blowing my hair and my feet sinking in the warm white sand. A couple of bikini-clad girls smiled at me.
Later
I said to them in my mind, for now it was the mind blowing view of the sunset. For the first time in months since my break-up, my mind was blank. I sat there feeling the warm breeze and looking at the sun go down. I took a long drag and held the smoke. A smile grew on my face as the marijuana began to kick in.
You don’t need anyone to make you happy,
I told myself.

At 10.30 in the night, I was woken up by persistent knocks on the door. I sleepwalked up to the door and opened it. It was the hotel attendant who had come to tell us that dinner was served. Raghu and Shashank had disappeared so I got ready and left to meet the stud. Awesome was waiting for me in the restaurant.

“Come, have a seat.”

He got up and hugged me. The happy smile and the slight sway in the walk highlighted the effects of the pot that he smelled of. “Where are Raghu and Shashank?”

“Don’t know, maybe they went to the city.”

“Okay, what will you drink?”

“Beer’s fine.”

The attendant standing beside him rushed to fetch it.

“Uncle, thanks again for squeezing a room out for us. I know how hard it must have been,” I said almost mumbling the word ‘uncle’.

“Are you kidding me. I’m so happy you guys are here.” The waiter came back with my beer. “I would have vacated the entire property for you boys.”

Two hours, a delicious dinner and nine beers later, the conversation steered to girls.

“I hear someone broke you heart.”

A wave of shock cruised through my blood stream when my mind registered what he said.

“Ho… how did you know?” I asked.

“Arvind told me,” he said calmly as he took a sip of his single malt on the rocks.

“Dad?”

The wave of shock hit me with twice the force this time.

“What the fuck!” It came out louder than I wanted it to.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. It’s none of my business,” he said.

“Oh no… I didn’t mean to, I just, it’s just...” my mind struggled to fish out suitable words out of the riot that had broken out inside my head,

“How did dad come to know? Does that mean mom knew too? Who would tell them? Devika? Shashank? Raghu? Why would they tell them? Shit, shit shit.”

“It’s just painful, isn’t it? I know,” he paused and lit a joint. “Its been thirty years since I got my heart broken,” he said and pulled in a long drag.

“But no matter how much time passes, the pain and the helplessness remains,” he said as the smoke escaped out of his nose and mouth.

“I’m sorry.
w
hat happened?” I asked.

“It all began with her smile. Lata and her family were our tenants. I would go to collect the rent, and every time I went, a smile waited for me. I wanted to see more of her so I began to follow her to her college. I would wait outside for the whole day so that I could follow her back home. Eventually following her graduated to walking with her and the smile developed into holding hands. Life with her was bliss. We were seeing each other for three years,” he said as he emptied the contents of his glass.

“One day her father found out about us and he decided to marry her off to a Tamilian IIT engineer. I was simply rejected for being a rich, non-Tamilian arts graduate. I tried hard to convince him but in vain. What surprised me was she said nothing and instead she quietly married the engineer,” he took a gulp of the whiskey directly from the bottle.

“The picture of her marriage still makes me scream my heart out, but what’s the point. For years after that, my dad tried to get me married. Every girl more beautiful and wealthier than the previous one, but my heart belonged to the dusky Tamilian girl who now belonged to someone else,” he dabbed the tears that had filled his eyes.

“Did you ever meet her again?” I asked.

He smiled, “When life decides to play dirty, it does cruel things to you. I met her ten years back. She was here with her husband and son for a vacation. The pain resurfaced again. Her smile, her warmth, her eyes – nothing had changed. I could clearly tell from those eyes that the love for me still lived in her heart, but as I said, what’s the point.”

“Since then, she comes here every three years or so. I make her jealous by hugging and kissing younger firang girls,” he giggled.

“But when I look at her, I realise I have missed out on a whole chapter called marriage. I gave up on life after she left, but she moved on. She is a wife and a mother who takes care of her family. I’m still the same twenty-four-year- old she left. Honestly, I’m very happy with my life right now, but sometimes when the crowd goes back home, and the villas and beaches are empty, I feel the need to hold on to someone.” For the first time since I met him, I saw an aging man with a broken heart.

“When you are young and heartbroken, you easily decide that you’ll live alone all your life. Trust me it doesn’t feel good to be alone at my age, so... take your time to heal your heart, but someday, when love knocks on your door, open it!” He said as he got up from his chair.

“Okay? now enough of the storytelling. You go to sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said and walked away into the darkness of the silent white sand beach.

I sat between the dancing fairy lights hung all over the resort feeling the cool breeze and listening to sounds of the sea. What Awesome said made perfect sense, but at that moment, I just wanted to be alone.

Give yourself some time, you’ll survive,
I told myself.

The new year’s eve party at Trinity was a glamorous affair. Awesome had converted the whole resort into a dance floor; six DJs that he flew down from Amsterdam created euphoria with their music while skimpily dressed sexy models serving alcohol at bar counters located at every hundred feet made sure people got drunk. A huge digital clock showed the time. Awesome kept a watch on his party with the security head from the gallery built beside the DJs’ console. Either it was the party or there was something about Goa that made otherwise shy girls go wild smooching and hugging random strangers when it hit midnight. The boys and I were dancing with one such group of girls.

After three hours of dancing, we took the girls to our room for a joint session which ultimately ended up in six bodies sexually romping in pairs of two. Shashank took the huge bed with his Delhi girl, Raghu took the smaller spare bed with the Delhi girl’s US return friend, and I took the couch with a little plump
Firang
friend, of the friend, of the Delhi girl. As horny teenagers we had wished for an orgy, but I never thought it would actually ever happen, at least after meeting Hrida. A while later, I realised that the firang tongue wagging inside my mouth had disappeared and I opened my eyes to see the girl kissing Raghu. I almost puked at the thought of the same tongue slobbering our mouths at the same time. Swaying and swinging, I left the room.

An hour later, Shashank and Raghu found me on the beach.

“Come hither my love, let my lips kiss you,” Raghu said as he fell on me trying to hold my face.  Shashank jumped on us and we began to laugh.

“Do you realise we kind of kissed each other?” I said grimacing.

“But why the fuck would you guys kiss the same girl?” Shashank said as he got up.

“Because I don’t like copulating with dead bodies,” Raghu yapped. “Bloody dork started snoring half-way man,” he said while we guffawed. “Anyway this moron was going nowhere beyond first base, so I jumped in.”

“Oh fuck you, I just gave her up for you,” I said.

“My girl knew her stuff man… pure pleasure,” Shashank boasted.

“Seriously speaking, I don’t think I’ll be ever able to sleep with anybody else,” I said. “I keep seeing her every time I’m making out.”

“Poncho, lose the cheesy crap, man, its freaking me out now,” Raghu said slurring.

“I love her, man!”

“It’s been around three months now,
and she is gone
.” The last part of Raghu’s sentence hit me bitterly, but I stayed quiet.

“You are not the only guy who has been in love and has got his heart broken,” Shashank said.

“Ah, this coming from you a guy who simply broke a girl’s heart just because you ‘thought’ you were incompatible.”

“Oh come on, don’t you lecture me over Neha now.”

“You just deserted her without trying. Very convenient; you’ll be cursed.”

“Cursed?? Arjun, what is wrong with you man! You seriously need to go see a shrink, there is nothing like a curse. Hrida is gone, and she is never coming back. She is probably dating somebody already or preparing to get married,” Raghu’s words were slitting my heart.

“Stop it!” I yelled.

“Why? What’s bothering you? You claim to be so much in love with her, but within three months, even you have started making out with random girls. Why won’t she be doing it? Can’t you see that she has forgotten you?” 

“You know what, it is probably because of this blunt attitude of yours you couldn’t find anyone good to be with. You are an asshole, so obviously, you attract the same kind of girls.”

As soon as I completed my sentence, Raghu landed a mighty punch on my left cheek, knocking me on the ground. I clutched the sand and got up in rage, but gave up the thought of hitting back the instant I realised whom I was about to hit.

“Just go fuck yourself, loser!” he screamed at me.

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do. You two are dead for me,” I screamed dabbing my bleeding lip with my sleeve. “I curse the day I met you two.”

“Poncho, enough is enough!” Shashank ordered.

“Fuck you!” I said and left the beach, with Raghu still yelling and abusing me. Three hours later, I was on the flight back to Mumbai. The new year had started, and I had lost some more people I loved. But at that moment, I really didn’t care.

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