Pathway to Tomorrow (15 page)

“Now you’ve committed yourself to Casa Minelli’s I never need doubt you again.” Marcus teased as they walked towards the river.

She smiled at him. “You didn’t need to doubt me anyway. I never say what I don’t mean Marcus.”

He slipped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “I know you don’t and I love you for it. In fact I love everything about you Jodie Eriksson…and if you’ll just stop walking for a minute I’ll prove exactly how much.”

When she raised her face to his he led her deeper into the shadows until they were hidden beneath a tree that drooped its branches towards the river, and began to feather kisses across her cheeks to her mouth. Then he started an assault on her lips. After that it was a very long time before either of them uttered a word.

Chapter Eighteen

Nobody said much on the journey north the following afternoon; Izzie because she was listening to her iPod; Jodie because she was worrying about the future; and Marcus because he was as frustrated as hell.

When he and Jodie had
arrived back at his apartment at the end of the previous evening, all the lights were on and the television was blaring. Izzie was sprawled across the couch, half asleep. She uncurled her legs and sat up when she saw them.

“Did you have a good time? Where did you go? What did you eat? I want to know everything.”

“If that’s because you think it will add a bit of color to the story you’re going to tell all your friends at school on Monday, then you can forget it. Tell them about the trip if you must, but leave me and Marcus out of it.” If Jodie was irritated her sister was waiting up, she didn’t show it. Instead she sat down next to her and stared at the television.

“What on earth are you watching?”

“One of those late night chat shows I never get to see at home because we don’t have Sky or Cable.”

She turned to Marcus with a sigh. “Can you believe it? We must be the only people in the whole country who still only watch the terrestrial channels.”

“Don’t take any notice of her. She manages to watch plenty on the computer, including stuff I probably wouldn’t approve of if I knew about it.”

“Chance would be a fine thing, what with homework, the work I do in the stables
, and because the computer is on the kitchen table!”

Forcing a smile, Marcus joined in with the banter. Remembering what Jodie had told him earlier in the evening, he also banished all thought of spending the night with her. In the shadow of the tree beside the river she had matched him kiss for kiss until they were both trembling with a need that had been building for hours. With shaking fingers he had attempted to undo the pearl buttons at her throat.

“You don’t make things easy do you?” he’d grumbled. “First that damned riding hat, and now these buttons.”

He could feel her laughter as she pressed against him. “They’re just for decoration,” she told him. “It’s got a zip down the back.”

With a growl of frustration he turned her around, found the zip and lowered it just enough for him to kiss the soft skin in the angle of her neck. Then he pulled it up again and, wrapping his arms around her, held her still until the pulses beating through them quieted. Only then did he voice his frustration.

“We can’t go on like this Jodie. Between us we have two homes plus another one half-built and yet we never manage to be alone together in any of them for more than a few minutes at a time.”

“We might have to go on like this for a while at least,” her voice was muffled as she rested her head on his chest. “We can’t just get rid of Luke and Izzie. They’re part of our lives.”

His sigh was heartfelt. “I know, but surely we can have tonight. They must both be asleep by now, and Mrs. Cotton never comes out of her room after ten o’clock.”

“If only it were that simple. Izzie will be awake; I know she will. And after she’s asked us all about our evening she’ll have a jokey conversation about something or other to cover up the fact she’s frightened to death of going to bed on her own.”

“But she’s not on her own. I know Luke’s no help but Mrs. Cotton has been there all evening. I wouldn’t have left them otherwise.”

Jodie moved away from the shelter of his arms and walked over to where a brick wall flanked the river. Staring at the fractured reflection of the moon in the rippling water she carried on talking.

“What I mean is, she won’t even be able to get ready for bed until I’m there. She slept in my bed last night Marcus, and my guess is she’ll want to do the same tonight.”

Pulling her back into his arms, Marcus tilted her face towards his so he could look at her. He couldn’t hide his astonishment. “But that’s ridiculous! How on earth is she going to manage her singing career if she can’t even go to sleep without you?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you ever since we met.
Although she’s almost seventeen, Izzie is a fragile child underneath all that over-the-top confidence. I’m not even sure she’ll cope with university unless she can get a place close enough to home for her to carry on living with me.”

“And in the meantime you’re going to continue to put your life on hold,” his anger and frustration bubbled to the surface. “You can’t do that Jodie, not to yourself…not to us.”

“I have to. Her whole life has been blighted by a tragedy I might have been able to prevent if I hadn’t insisted on leaving home, so I can’t give up on her. Besides there’s no one else, so it’s not even a choice.”

“I’m not asking you to give up on her; far from it. But she can’t go on behaving like that. She needs help. She needs a therapist of some sort. I’ll make a few phone calls tomorrow to see if I can find someone and then I’ll willingly pay for as long as it takes…I…”

Jodie didn’t let him finish his sentence. Instead she shook off his arms and glared at him. “We’re not a charity case Marcus! Izzie and I managed very well on our own until you came into our lives and turned everything upside down, and we can do it again if we have to.”

He glared back at her. “Don’t be so damned touchy. It’s just money, and I’m not going to apologize for having a lot of it because I’ve earned every penny. You want to help Luke; fine, go ahead with my blessing. I want to help your sister; but because I am not as high-minded as you, I’m afraid I can’t do something noble and self-sacrificing that will meet with your unqualified approval. All I can do is offer to pay for something you can’t afford, so if you’re going to turn it down because of some warped sense of pride, then go ahead, just don’t tell Izzie. If she learns you’ve refused to accept the help she needs, and with it her chance to succeed in a career she spends every minute dreaming about, I don’t think she’ll ever forgive you.”

Their standoff lasted a full minute before she shook her head. “I won’t turn it down but it still doesn’t feel right. I’m not used to taking handouts and I wouldn’t take this if it wasn’t for Izzie.”

He gathered her close again. “It’s not a handout. I’m doing it because I love you.”

When she tilted her head back to look at him, he smiled at her, relieved he’d managed to negotiate his way past her prickly independence. “I’m doing it for Izzie too, of course. I do want to help her, never doubt that; but I also have an ulterior motive. Paying a therapist to get her out of your bed has to be a good investment.”

* * *

Now, however, after another frustrating night, he didn’t feel quite so sanguine. With his foot hard on the throttle, he brooded over what was likely to happen in the months ahead until his house was complete and he could move north. He would have to spend the bulk of his time in London, with Luke, and there was his work too. The film was almost complete but he would have to make at least one more journey to the States before he started packing. There was all the usual promotional stuff and the lectures he’d committed to as well. And while all that was happening Jodie would carry on running her riding school and Izzie would take her exams, and he’d be back to late night phone calls and Luke’s tantrums.

Chapter Nineteen

His worst fears realized, Marcus stared out the window of his London penthouse and wondered why his life was such a god-awful mess. With Jodie too busy to take another weekend break, the demands of his work keeping him penned
in his London studio, and his responsibilities for Luke keeping him at home, they hadn’t seen one another for what seemed like weeks. Even their late night conversations had lost their attraction because they were too full of work and of Izzie and Luke. The excitement of those early transatlantic calls had given way to frustration now he had actually held Jodie in his arms and kissed her.  He wasn’t interested in prolonging a long distance love affair any more. He wanted her in his house and in his bed and the impossibility of the whole thing was eating away at him.

They should be able to manage an occasional weekend break. Other people did. Other people fitted their lives around love and romance whereas with him and Jodie everything was topsy-turvy. Izzie had to come first, and Luke.  Their own feelings and his increasingly frustrated libido had to fight for a place at the very bottom of the pile.

He’d given up trying to explain how he felt to Jodie because she was too busy at work, and too worried about Izzie’s future.  They’d agreed to shelve discussing therapy with her until after her exams. It had seemed a sensible decision at the time but now, with the summer looming and no progress made, he felt powerless. He felt ashamed too. He wished he could care about Luke with the same dedication Jodie had for her sister, but he couldn’t. He supposed he loved Luke but the only time he actually spent with him was when he wanted to make sure his carefully calibrated program was still running smoothly. Once he was sure it was he retreated to his studio and left him to Mrs. Cotton. He knew he behaved like that because Luke didn’t do empathy, the same as he knew his son couldn’t help his condition any more than Izzie could help her nightmares, but knowing didn’t help.

With a sigh of frustration he turned away from the window and stared at the piano. He didn’t play much when he was in his apartment. Mostly he worked in a studio half-an-hour’s drive away if the traffic co-operated, and a lot longer when it didn’t. Tonight though, he needed to play. He opened the lid and ran his fingers across the keys. Then he pulled out the piano stool and sat down.

He was still sitting there when Big Ben chimed midnight. As the deep chimes of the Westminster clock echoed across the park he shook his head in momentary confusion. He’d been so lost in his music he’d forgotten to call Jodie. He couldn’t call her now because she always got up so early it wouldn’t be fair to wake her. He went searching for his cell phone and found it on the kitchen counter. There were three missed calls, all of them from Jodie. The last one had been made at eleven o’ clock.

With a muttered oath he shoved the phone into his pocket and hurried through to his bedroom.

* * *

When Jodie woke up she felt fine until she remembered Marcus hadn’t returned her calls, then she felt sick. Had he finally had enough? If he gave up on her because of Izzie, she wouldn’t blame him. Maybe it wasn’t that though. Maybe it was all about her because although she’d promised to do it, she still hadn’t managed to reorganize her work schedule so she could visit him in London again. Remembering the evening they’d eaten at Casa Minelli and what Signor Minelli had said to her about Marcus needing her, she wondered how she could have been so stupid.

She knew, if she asked her, Carol would willingly hold the fort again. Izzie would love it too. When she wasn’t studying she spent all her time talking about Marcus as well as singing along to the music he’d recorded for her, telling her it was all he was prepared to do until she’d taken her exams.

Throwing back her covers she climbed out of bed and walked across to the window. She would do it. She would find a way somehow, even if she had to work every night for weeks to make up for it.

Automatically she scanned the yard, checking everything was okay. The usual sounds of early morning assailed her; the grunt of the horses, the birds calling to one another, the whisper of leaves rustling in the trees; sounds that would be lost in the general hubbub as soon as the stable boys and girls arrived.  This was her favorite time of day.  Her hour with Buckmaster was what kept her sane. She couldn’t imagine life without him.

She reached for her jodhpurs but before she could pull them on a movement distracted her. Someone was standing amongst the trees behind Buckmaster’s stable, someone who must have climbed over the gate because until she unlocked it, it was the only way anyone could get into the yard.

With no thought for her own safety she hurtled down the stairs barefoot. Wrenching open the front door she pulled an old riding crop from a peg on the wall and brandishing it, ran across the yard. She was ready to fight for her horse, ready to scream blue murder if it came to it. She just hoped if it did that Izzie would wake up because although it took her forever to fall asleep, once she was asleep very little disturbed her.