Peas and Carrots (23 page)

“Oh. That would do it,” Jas said after a pause. “That's weird,” he mumbled.

Hope clutched her middle, her smile sliding. “What?”

“Well, now that you're taller, I feel like I should be…taller. Or something,” Jas said, looking confused. “Forget it—just a thought.” He cleared his throat. “Have you played air hockey yet?”

“I'm going to eat first.” Hope wished she had pockets in which to hide her hands.

“Oh. Well, I'm up next.” Jas looked toward the sunroom awkwardly.

“Maybe I'll come watch when I'm done,” Hope suggested.

Jas nodded and shrugged. “Yeah, sure. Come play winner.”

Hope gave a deflated sigh when Jas disappeared. He was being awkward, but it was okay. Hope had been crushing on him long enough to not feel too bad. At least no one had gasped or pointed or laughed at her outfit. After a time, Hope realized that no one was really even
looking
at it. Relieved, she began to relax.

The house was packed—the Anguianos knew just about everyone and had invited what seemed like the whole town. Levi's and Rob's friends attended either Headwaters, St. Kateri Academy, or Cardinal Newman High School across town, and almost every stranger was an Anguiano relative—a first or second cousin.

When Hope had circulated for a time, Rob found her and muttered a completely incoherent apology. Hope accepted, because she knew Mrs. Anguiano's eagle eyes were watching and also because, even though Rob was dumb, he'd probably suffered enough.

At one point, Hope drifted toward the front of the house to admire the chocolate fountain in the dining room and saw her father. He raised his glass in her direction, and Hope raised her chocolate-covered marshmallow. Her father made an
“Eww”
face and went back to his conversation. Hope went back to her marshmallow.

She played two games of air hockey against Grayson and then played winner when Jas beat Micah. She was sweaty when she grabbed a water bottle from the bucket of ice on the bar and stepped out onto the back porch. Micah was standing close to one of the sophomore boys, the two of them squinting at something on Micah's phone. Someone had brought out badminton rackets, and there was a game going on between the pool and a strip of lawn, mostly in the dark. Hope watched idly, knowing someone was going to fall in, eventually, or lose the birdie thing at the very least.

One of the freshman girls pushed out onto the porch and looked at Hope. “Hey. You know Dess, right?”

“Yeah.” Hope straightened from leaning against the wall. “What about her?”

“Some guy is looking for her.” The girl's gesture was vague. “Out front.”

“Really?” Hope wondered who. “I saw her, like, five minutes ago. I'll tell her.”

Was it only five minutes ago? Putting her water bottle down on a wrought-iron table, Hope went inside. The crush of people seemed to be thicker now, and the noise level louder. Hope pushed for the dining room, where she'd last seen her father, but couldn't find him. It was warm in the living room, with the gas fireplace that cut the room in half, and though she circled both sides, Hope couldn't find him—or Dess, either.

She poked her head into the room full of guys playing video games and glanced around quickly. Dess had probably already found the guy by now.

Another circuit around the front room, and Hope stopped for sustenance. “Have you seen Dess?” she asked Ronica, who was dipping banana pieces at the chocolate fountain. In the stuffy room, Ronica's sleeveless basketball tank and long shorts looked more comfortable than anything.

“You know, somebody else just asked me that,” Ronica said, frowning. “She was just here a minute ago.”

Curious now, Hope grabbed another marshmallow. As she moved into the entryway, the cooler air from the front door, which someone had just opened, tempted her. She opened the heavy door a crack, and slipped out onto the front porch.

The cool air was a relief. She sagged against the door and squinted into the dimness as the breeze leached the heat of too many people from her. It was quieter here, too, which was nice. Now that Rob and Levi had had their cake, everyone had spread out. Some people were playing air hockey, but many were wrapped up in their phones, no doubt texting someone's hot cousin, and most of the boys were playing stupid video games. Hope moved to the edge of the yard and sighed. It was much better outside, but since she didn't see Dess out here—

“You seen Dess?” Jas poked his head out of the door and looked around the porch.

Hope shook her head. “You're looking for her, too?”

“Yeah.” Jas frowned. “She was supposed to meet me at the pool table.” He rolled his eyes. “Probably with Rob. Again.”

Hope straightened. “Well, did you want someone else? I'd love to play—”

“Nah, that's okay,” Jas said quickly. “It's a grudge match, and James has money riding on it.” He grinned. “I'll find her,” he said, and disappeared.

Hope sighed a little. Jas was…completely oblivious, as usual. Dess said the thing to do to get his attention was to pay attention to someone else. “Boys are not that serious,” Dess had lectured. “You could have a lot more fun if you loosened up and let yourself. Jas isn't the only boy in the world.” But Hope wasn't like Dess—she didn't need some revolving door of guys coming and going. Hope had seen her foster sister with Jas, Rob, James, Micah, and two other guys she didn't even know, all at one party. All Hope wanted to do was find one nice guy—just one—and be happy with that.

Why was that so hard?

Behind her, the door opened, and a gust of warm air touched the back of her neck and made her shiver.

“Hey,” someone said.

Hope looked up into a stranger's face and stepped back, startled. He wore a red cloak draped over one shoulder and belted over a woven orange tunic and baggy orange pants, and he was carrying a broom. Sunglasses were perched atop his close-cropped dark hair, and he was looking down at Hope with a tentative smile.

“Um…hey,” Hope said, swallowing.

They stood in awkward silence. Hope dug into her bag and checked the time, then dabbed on a little lip gloss, wondering how much trouble she'd get in if she blotted her face. Was her makeup melting? Beside her, the guy cleared his throat. She resisted the urge to pull down her dress but gave in to the need to cross her arms. The cool air outdoors was suddenly not cool enough.

“So…nice party, huh?”

“Yeah.” Hope's voice cracked.
So awkward.
She shot the tall boy a sidelong glance, then did a double take. “Nice costume. You're the Sweeper from Pratchett's
Thief of Time,
right?”

The guy blinked, shock showing on his face. Then a wide grin brightened his face. “I'm Cal Rhodes, and you've got to tell me your name, because you're the only person who's gotten my costume, and we book nerds have to stick together.”

Hope laughed. “True. I'm Hope Carter. You go to Cardinal Newman?” she asked, surprised she sounded normal.

He nodded. “Senior year. I'm also taking a couple of classes at WHCC, just to get a jump on things,” Cal said, tilting up his chin. “You?”

Hope blinked. He was a senior
and
taking college courses? She felt awkward and young. “Um…I'm a sophomore. You have your major picked out already?”

Cal shrugged. “I like philosophy and math, and programming, so I figure I can do computer science or something. I'll figure it out.”

Hope's phone buzzed. It was her dad, wondering where she was. She tapped out a quick reply. Hope slipped her phone in her pocket and stood uncomfortably. She thought she ought to go in and say something to Mr. and Mrs. Anguiano, but she was paralyzed by indecision. Were she and Cal done now? It seemed to be a little rude just to vanish, but he wasn't
saying
anything….The door opened behind her, ending her conundrum.

“Hope!” Dess's exclamation nearly deafened her.

“What? I'm right here,” Hope snapped as her foster sister stepped onto the porch.

“Sorry. Your dad—” Dess broke off, taking in Cal's robes and his broom. She looked from the boy to Hope and back again. “I'm sorry, but are you supposed to be Gandhi or something?” she asked.

Cal just looked at Hope and rolled his eyes.

“Cal, this is Dess. Dess, this is Cal. Um…Cal, nice meeting you.”

“Did they hire him to sweep the porch?” Dess whispered loudly.

“Shut
up,
” Hope groaned.

“Hey, wait!” Cal grabbed the door. “Hope, would you give me your phone?”

Dess jerked to a stop, turned, and gave Hope wide eyes.

“Um, sure.” Hope scrambled for her phone and shoved it into Cal's hand, tugging surreptitiously at the hem of her dress.

“There's this book club you might like,” Cal said, tapping rapidly as Dess glared and mimed slapping her hand. “Drop me a text and I'll let you know when we're meeting. We're reading
The Goblin Emperor
right now, but—”

“I just finished that,” Hope burst out. “It's amazing.”

“Goblins.” Dess rolled her eyes. “Of course, the guy with a broom likes goblins. And probably dragons.”

“Give me your phone,” Hope instructed, ignoring Dess entirely. She tapped her number in quickly, and returned it to Cal with a smile.

“It was really nice meeting you.” She said the words sincerely. And it had been nice. Even if he didn't text her about the book club, she could text him—or not. For a little while, it had just been fun to talk to someone new. Hope hadn't even thought about Jas. Maybe she was getting to be more like Dess than she'd realized.

As they dodged through the crowd to search for their hosts, Dess asked, “So, seriously, Hope. Why was he holding a broom?”

Hope, even all sweaty, looks really nice. I hope she remembers tonight when everyone is saying shit about how I'm just like all the other foster kids, stealing and running away. I hope she remembers that I did this for her—that I fixed her an outfit, that we went to this party, and that we had fun.

Before we go, we have to find who invited us, so I find Rob again, which is pretty much what he's wanted all night.

“You're leaving?” His brown eyes glint in the low light from the backyard. “For how long?”

“My grandmother's sick,” I say, wishing I hadn't let him corner me in the gazebo. He'd given me some crap about a “house tour”—
so
obvious—and then he'd made his move. It was fun, right up until we started talking.

One minute we were kissing and the next,
blurt,
it's all out there, how I'm leaving tonight and don't know when I'm coming back. I can't believe I told him I'm going to see my grandma. Stella calls this kind of thing “sabotage.”

“You're gonna come back, though, right? You'd
better,
Dess.” Rob's a decent kisser, but his hands stroking up my sides right now feel more like cages than cuddles. I duck under his arm, and give myself breathing room.

“I don't know, all right? Jeez, Rob, she's
sick.
Unless you've got a magic wand or something to fix that, don't keep asking.” I rake my hands through my hair and readjust my hat so it tilts over my eye again.

Rob sighs loudly. “Yeah, all right, fine.” He grabs my hands and pulls me closer. “Glad you came, though. You're really hot, Dess.”

I roll my eyes. He wants more kisses after telling me what I'd “better” do? Please. He's got a nice mouth, but it's not
that
nice. “Whatever. I've got to find Hope.”

“Dess,” whines Rob, still pulling my hands. “Don't leave.”

Don't leave.
If he only knew how much I wish I wasn't leaving. I crack a smile. “Dude, don't make me call your mom. She'll take
all
your presents.”

Rob jumps like someone hit him in the butt with a Taser. “You're mean.”

“Yeah, you're right.” I grin at his pout. “I'll be back. Maybe.”

As much fun as Rob is to mess with, I've been out here too long. Last time I saw Mr. Carter was an hour ago, and he was watching me put Grayson Cho in his place—the little poser accused me of cheating at air hockey. The puck went down the hole. So what if it bounced off his shoulder first? A point is a
point.
Anyway, I know Mr. Carter wasn't playing about us leaving at ten-fifteen on the dot. I hurry my pace. The warm, loose feeling I had from being with Rob cools. Too soon I'll be walking in the cold dark, downtown to the bus station.

Levi's friends are playing video games with the lights off in the game room, so it's dim on the stairs. The slider is open, as is the screen, and I almost plow into Mr. Carter in the dark as he's heading in my direction, his phone in hand.

He squints at me. “Dess? There you are. It's after ten.”

“Already?”

“Five after. Hope's in the bathroom. Both of you wait at the front door, all right? I'll get the car.” He melts into the dimness.

While we wait, I hug people—Liesl, in that bad wig, Wynn, Natalie, Ronica, who smells like chocolate, even Jas. We find our host and hostess, and while Hope smiles and charms, I put on manners I didn't know I had. “Thanks for inviting us,” I say, even though Rob never did officially invite Hope.

“We're so glad you came,” Mrs. Anguiano says, patting my shoulder.

I go into the front room and wave at all the adults, people I don't know. “Good night!”

Hope looks at me like I'm crazy. “Are you
on
something?” she asks finally.

“No,” I snap.

“ 'Cause I heard Levi and his friends brought some stuff….”

My face heats and I am seriously,
seriously
pissed. “What, I do drugs now? Jeez, Hope, what does it
take
with you? Just because I'm—”

“Shut up. Nobody brought any drugs to Rob's
birthday party
at his
house
with all our
parents here
!” Hope's shoulders are shaking, and she leans against the wall, weak with laughter. “Dess, you're too easy.”

I glare at her, torn between punching her and hugging her. Jeez, she drives me crazy. “Let's go,
Hopeless.
”

“I'm coming,
Dessturbed.
”

Rob meets us at the door, giving me Sad Face. “See you when I see you, I guess?”

“Yeah,” I say, hands in my pockets. Hope is watching with interest, and I wish I could be anywhere else.

“Sorry your grandma's sick,” Rob adds lamely.

I nod, throat too tight to speak.
Me too.
I've left before. Why is this so hard?

“Text me when you get there,” Rob continues, and a panicked flutter fills my chest. “I just—”

“Aw, sweet,” Hope croons, then rolls her eyes impatiently. “Seriously? Text you when she gets
home
? You guys are going to see each other at school. Get a grip!”

“There's Mr. Carter,” I say quickly, running over Rob's words. Leaning forward, I give him a hard hug. My lips skate off the corner of his mouth, the best I can do with everyone looking. “Bye, Rob.”

I haul Hope out of the house, practically at a run.

“So, you and Rob are a thing?” Hope asks as we head down to the van.

“No…Well, yes. No. I don't know.” I shrug, feeling like my skin's too tight. I'm jumpy. I've only bailed once, but I remember this feeling, this nervous energy.

Hope shakes her head. “ ‘No, yes, no'? You are
so
messed up.”

Blood rushes to my cheeks. “I am not. Shut
up.
”

“Have a good time, girls?” Mr. Carter asks as we get in the van.

“I did,” I say with a grin.

“I definitely did not have as much fun as my girl Dess.” Hope smirks.

“Zip it,” I whisper, shooting a glance at Mr. Carter.

Hope whisper-chants,
“Roberto and Dessa, sitting in a tree…”

“What are you, eight? Shut up!” I fight the urge to laugh hysterically. “It's not like that. We just messed around.”

Hope grins and elbows me gently. “Rob's nice, you know. When he's not being a total guy. He can be really sweet. And bonus—if he's not? His mom will kick his butt.”

“I don't—we just—” My shoulders sag.
Jeez,
I'm so stupid. Why did I start up with Rob when I'm leaving? Staying and cuddling up is
not
my jam—that's Hope's thing. I was never going to stay. That's not what this was about.

“I'm not going to mess with you about him anymore,” Hope says, watching my face. “I was just teasing. You guys make a cute couple. Seriously.”

I hold up a hand and razor-wire the words. “We. Are.
Not.
A. Couple.”

Hope doesn't jump back, as she would have a few weeks ago. She isn't afraid anymore. She narrows her eyes, like she does every time I yell at her now. “Jeez, all
right,
Dess. I get it.”

We sit quiet all the way home. The silence goes up the stairs, down the hall, and to our rooms.

I wash off the party gunk and dress down as fast as I can. I need to pack a few more items from the snack pantry, but I'm mostly done. Once I get that squared away, I head for the nursery. Baby's already asleep, but I kiss him good night like I always do—like it's any other night.

“Did you have a nice time?” Foster Lady stands in the doorway of the office.

“Yeah, it was all right. That house is crazy big.”

“The Anguianos are generous, lovely people to share what they have with the community. That Roberto's a sweet boy, isn't he?”

I give her a narrow look.
Hope.
That heifer has a big mouth. “Good
night,
Robin.”

She grins. “I see we're not going to talk about him. Good night, Dess.”

“Make sure and ask Hope about
Cal,
why don't you.”
Take that, Hope.

“Cal?” Foster Lady's eyebrows rise. “Hmm.” Smiling, she goes back into the office.

I stand in the hallway, looking at the lighted square in the dim hall.
Peace out, Foster Lady. You're the weirdest granola hippie black Amazon chick I've ever met. But you're all right.

Mr. Carter's already in bed when I pass their door, and I don't knock. We said good night when we came in the house, and though I will miss him, he's too good at clues to risk talking to. I head into my room and hesitantly tap on the bathroom door.

“Come in,” Hope sings out.

I don't want to come in, but her voice—loose and friendly—draws me like a moth to a light. She's in another pair of her nasty, baggy, I-don't-give-a-crap sweats and a ratty pink T-shirt, and I swallow hard, looking at her jacked-up outfit paired with her sweet smile.

“Hope? You had a good time for real, right?”

At the sink Hope is wiping makeup from around her eyes. She pauses. “It was okay. I probably wouldn't have gone if you weren't here, but it was fine. And…” She ducks her head. “Cal was nice.”

I frown. Hope is—jeez,
Hopeless.
“You should go to parties by yourself,” I tell her, scowling. “Meet other guys. I'm not going to be here forever.”

“I know that.” Hope leans in and peers at her lashes.

“If you'd actually
say
something to Jas, you guys could hook up.”

“I don't know if I like him that much.” She shrugs. “Why all the advice?”

I back off immediately. “I'm not giving advice. I'm just
saying
you looked nice tonight. You could make a little effort and step up your game. You'd get Cal, Jas, Clayton—anyone you want.”

“Clayton?” Hope looks startled. “He needs to grow up first.”

I roll my eyes. “So not the point, Miss Maturity. I'm going to bed.”

“Wait. Thanks again for the outfit, the makeup, everything, Dess.” She's moving from the mirror toward my door. She hesitates, then squeezes my arm. “Even though my butt was hanging in the breeze all night, I really, really love that dress.”

I wave her off. “You are way too paranoid about your butt!”

“I am not. Anyway, thank you. I—I'm going to return the favor.” Hope gives a shy smile. “I found out Mom has some boxes of Grandpa Hank's clothes in the attic….You want to go up there tomorrow and look? I found this pattern for a shirtwaist dress out of a man's dress shirt that you might like. Grandma Amelie says if we do more sewing, she'll send us some more of her clothes, so I thought, what the heck.” Hope shrugs like she doesn't care, but her eyes are shining with plans and expectation.

“You did? Cool.” I plaster on a smile that hides the cracks in my expression. “Sounds cool. Tomorrow.” I yawn widely. “Much, much
later
tomorrow. I'd better get to bed. See you in the morning.”

Hope nods and picks up her dental floss. “Night.”

If I didn't have to do this, I wouldn't. I really, really wouldn't.

The buzz of my phone under my pillow jerks me back to consciousness. It feels like I just fell asleep. Silently I roll out from beneath the covers and feel around for my jeans. I slept in half my clothes to make this go faster. My backpack has been packed since before the party, and I check my snacks one last time.

At least it's easy to get out of this place—I left the window open a crack in my room and in the family room. Mr. Carter sets the security alarm before he goes to bed, but he pushed in an override code when he saw there were two windows open—I told him I'd close them. Now all I have to do is open the window in the family room a bit wider, and pop out the screen.