Perfect in My Sight (4 page)

“
Not at all,
”
Peter assured.
“
My sister does not run my household, Miss Hopkins.
”

Sarah sensed in the pause that ensued that he would have liked to say more on the
subject, but he refrained.

“
In fact,
”
he continued,
“
I think you are precisely the candidate I am seeking. If it suits you, the position
is yours.
”

Her stomach lurched. She was both thrilled and terrified at once.

Sarah wasn
’
t certain she could do this, and yet she must—every word, every action, she would
have to scrutinize, but the end would be worth the means.

She straightened her spine.
“
It most certainly does suit me, Mr. Holland!
”

“
Then it
is
settled. The position is yours.
”

Sarah suddenly wasn
’
t certain whether to thank him for the opportunity or to weep. Behind her dark glasses,
she dared to look up into Peter Holland
’
s eyes.

Innocent?

Guilty?

He was one or the other, and she had the sickening sensation she was about to find
out which.

CHAPTER
4

The interview couldn
’
t have gone more successfully.

Preparations couldn
’
t have gone more smoothly.

So why did Sarah suddenly feel like crawling under the bed and never coming out?

All arrangements were complete now, and there was no turning back. All that remained
to be done was to call a hansom and return to the
corner
of University Place and Twelfth Street.

Mel watched her from the divan, her legs drawn up upon the gold damask.
“Y
our pacing is making me dizzy, Sarah!
”
she complained.

“
I cannot help it, Mellie!
”

The two of them had been inseparable since Sarah had sought her out three years
earlier
. She
’
d gone to Mel hoping for instruction in dealing with the teaching and rearing of blind
children, and had been stunned to find that Mel Frank was in fact Melissa Frank. Sarah
had been horrified at her own discrimination, especially since she loathed it in others.

She
’
d been so mortified to have made such an error of judgment based on the biases of
society that she
’
d apologized to Mel until Mel had been driven to shush her. The two of them had laughed
so hard after
ward
, and Sarah had left the Institute with a new best friend.

“
What time are we scheduled to arrive?
”

“
Two p.m.,
”
Sarah replied.

“
Try to calm yourself,
”
Mel advised her.
“
It won
’
t do you any good to make yourself ill with worry.
”

“
What if I cannot act the part?
”
Sarah fretted.
“
What if he discovers my ruse?
”

Mel watched her nervous strides with a patience Sarah had come to admire.
“
Yes,
”
she dared to agree,
“
what if he does?
”

It was a question Sarah had not permitted herself to ponder long—perhaps because the
answer terrified her.

“
What is the worst that could happen?
”
Mel asked her, forcing her to consider the consequences.

Sarah cast her friend a disbelieving glance at the question.

“Come now, Sarah
... indulge me. At worst...
”

Sarah didn
’
t have to think about the answer.
“
If he killed the mother of his own son—
”
she began, and couldn
’
t continue.

“
Then he could most certainly do away with you easily enough?
”
Mel said, daring to finish her thought.

“
Well, yes!
”
Sarah clasped her hands together, wringing them.

A genuine look of concern reentered Mel
’
s eyes.
“
But are you willing to walk away, Sarah? Can you do that?
”

“
No.
”

There was no question of that at all.

Sarah would never be able to live with herself were she to walk away now that she
finally had the opportunity to learn the truth.

“
I cannot, Mel. You know that.
”

“Well, then.
.. you
’
ve really no choice in the matter, have you?
”

Sarah shook her head in answer. She truly didn
’
t.
“
If Mary
’
s journal remains in that house, I will find it, Mellie, I swear to God I will!
”

“
I have every faith you will,
”
Mel assured, her blue eyes twinkling with something like admiration. Sarah cringed
at the sight of it. She didn
’
t deserve any such esteem. She
’
d bloody well failed Mary when Mary had most needed her. Had Sarah been there, had
she been at Mary
’
s side, her cousin might well be alive today.

If Mary
had only had someone to talk to
... to confide in ... If she hadn
’
t felt so
isolated, with nowhere to turn…

Now was the time to make amends.

“
Always wear your spectacles,
”
Mel suggested, her voice firm.
“
You need not remove them save to sleep,
”
she persisted.
“
And try not to hold anyone
’
s gaze directly.
”

“
I
’
ll not,
”
Sarah assured her.

Her expression grew resolute.
“And keep your eyes closed
as much as possible, unless you are absolutely certain you are alone and need not
be on your guard. It is easier to be blind when you cannot see,
”
she suggested, and winked to add a bit of levity to the soberness of the discussion.

Sarah nodded, storing the advice, trying to remember everything. Her nerves were at
their ends.

“Oh, a
nd use your cane as I have shown you. Make your way by it even when you think you
need not.
”

The last-minute flood of advice infused
Sarah
with a sense of panic. She froze in her step and peered up at the woman sitting so
calmly upon the divan.

“
Blast, Mellie!
”
she said.
“
You
’
ve not changed your mind, have you? You
’
ll be coming with me, right?
”

“
Of course, Sarah. But I cannot be at your side every instant, else he will never believe
I am simply your aide. That is why I told you to ask him whether I might make use
of his servants
’
quarters. God only knows I have never aspired to such a thing, but there you have
it—a servant must act as a servant, as you have already pointed out.
”

“
Yes,
”
Sarah agreed, nodding, her thoughts racing.
“
Yes. You are right, of course. I just cannot think straight now.
”

“
I can well imagine.
”

Sarah chewed nervously upon her bottom lip, trying to recall if she had indeed remembered
to ask for a room in the servants
’
quarters. She certainly hoped so.

“
Anyway, I know you
’
ll take good care of me,
”
Mel said, with a laugh.
“
I cannot live long without some of life
’
s little luxuries. Take pity on me and sneak me something sweet once in a while. I
shall be content enough then.
”

Sarah peered up at her, and Mel winked
again
.

She could
scarcely
wait to see Christopher again, to spend time with him alone, to get to know him.

“
Braille is not such a difficult code, Sarah, so don
’
t worry. I shall only caution you once more that when you practice them, do not practice
them by sight.
”

“
I have not once done so,
”
Sarah assured.

“
Very good.
”

“
If I can only remember to keep my head.
”

“
You will,
”
Mel replied, without hesitation.

“
I
’
ve no choice,
”
Sarah agreed.

“
No, you don
’
t, Sarah.
”
The two of them shared an anxious glance.
“
Not unless you care to find your toes cocked up—and mine as well,
”
she added with nervous laughter.

Sarah felt a renewed sense of gratitude for Mel
’
s friendship and help.
“
I shall never be able to thank you enough for making this cause your own, Mel.
”

Mel smiled.
“
Yes, you will... by discovering the truth and doing what is right for that precious
little boy.
”

Sarah returned the smile.
“
He is precious, isn
’
t he?
”

“
Quite,
”
Mel agreed.

“
You know I intend to do the best for him.
”

“N
o doubt,
”
Mel said, and then asked the dreaded question,
“
Are you ready to go, Sarah?
”

Sarah took a deep breath and steeled herself.
“
Ready as I ever shall be.
”

Mel gave her an approving nod and rose at once from the divan.
“
That
’
s my girl!
”
she said.
“
I
’ll send for a cab
. Wish us luck,
”
she suggested.

“
Luck!
”
Sarah replied with resolve.
“
But not for us ...
”
She laughed a bit, her stomach turning with anticipation of the ominous task before
them.
“
For the unfortunate person who is bound to try to steal our hansom ... because I know
he
’
s like to find himself flat upon his back and your umbrella up his nose!
”

Mel returned a chuckle.
“
How true,
”
she agreed, throwing her hands up as she went.
“
These rude city men think they were
born
with the right. I shall show them all, I think!
”

Sarah chuckled as she watched Mel go, considering how very much like her cousin Mel
was. And she suddenly missed Mary fiercely.

“
I will not fail you, Mary,
”
she whispered.
“
I swear to God I will not!
”

If there was a journal to be found, Sarah would find it. And
if Peter Holland was a murderer
... he would pay dearly.
Sarah intended to see to it.

“
Peter James Holland!
”

Peter cringed at his sister
’
s use of his full name. He loathed when she did that, but it was a habit she might
never break.

“
Good God! I cannot believe you would bring a strange woman into this house. You do
not even know her! What sort of example do you think it will set for your son?
”

Peter rolled his eyes but didn
’
t halt his stride.
“
Damn it, Ruth,
”
he answered,
“
she is not my lover, she
’
s my son
’
s bloody instructor!
”

Ruth
’
s fury was unmistakable. She followed him down the hall as he made his way toward
his office, all the while shrieking her protests at his back. Christ, but that voice
of hers enlightened him as to why some men did murder their wives.

“
Don
’
t you think it rather strange that the majority of your applicants were men,
”
she continued to rail,
“
and yet you hire the young beautiful woman!
”