Perfect Love (A Celestra Novella) (2 page)

Maybe Gage is right—hell, I know he is. But this is me. I like to make all my mistakes right in the open, out fucking loud. And if not breaking Skyla’s heart for the next few days is the only way I can think to comfort her then that’s what I’m going to do. Besides, if the universe wanted her in on my dirty little secret it would tell her itself. That’s how I’d be sure she was supposed to know—that it was okay to bring her into this dark hole with me. But I need Candace to help me with this, and she doesn’t seem to be willing to help me out with too many things these days, other than dying. She’s more than glad to assist with that little detail.

“I’m not telling, Skyla.” I hold out my arms, welcoming the sucker punch I’m sure he’s about to gift me.

A moment bounces by. The air in the room grows stale as if every molecule were acutely aware of what’s about to go down.

His blue eyes dart into me as he winces. “Then I’m going to have to beat the shit out of you,” he says it plain as fact.

“Because you love Skyla?” I give a curt nod. “You should be on your knees thanking me for eating dirt.”

“On my knees?” He gives a little smirk as his chest expands. “Why’s that? Because you think that’s the only way I can have her—if
you’re
not around? I’m going to fucking hold my tongue out of respect for you, but there are plenty of things I can say to prove you wrong.”

And there it is. Gage always knew how to knife me with that sword parked in his mouth.

He gets in my face until we’re nose to nose and roars, “
Tell
her!
”

I don’t say anything just tap my chest with the invite. “Do it but know I’m going to fight back.” Only I’m not going to hit him simply because he’s hitting me, I’m ready to let out some pent up rage over the fact he gets to love Skyla for the rest of his life, exactly the way I wish I could have.

Gage knocks me back, and this time the top half of his desk crashes to the ground. I don’t mind implementing my Celestra strength and shoving his ass right into the hall until he damn near falls over the banister. I charge at him, and we kick and punch our way down the stairs, rolling over those final few steps like a couple of hopped up bears. We continue our newfound wrath into the kitchen, exploding cabinets, shattering bowls and plates. He tries to noose me with the blinds, and the entire infrastructure of the curtains comes crashing down. We fist it out all the way to the living room, grunting, punishing one another as if this were a blood sport where one of us had to die—only one of us is already dead, and that one is me.

“Just fucking
tell
her,” he bellows it into my left ear, and I can’t hear shit out of that side now.

My fingers dig into his shoulders as I bash him into the glass slider, over and over, until the panel cracks clear down the middle. The door slips open, and I toss his sorry ass outside. I knock him back until he falls onto the lawn and offer a swift kick to his ribcage.

“I’m not telling her shit!” I kick him again, and he yanks me down by the ankle. “You wouldn’t understand because nothing ever goes wrong for you. When you fall in love, the entire universe bows down to make sure sweet baby Gage gets exactly what his little heart desires.” I take in a quivering breath because the tears are right there, I can feel them. “You should’ve been with
Chloe!
” It rips from my lungs like a siren into the virginal night.

Gage slugs me in the stomach for even hinting at the idea.

“Skyla’s been mine from the beginning.” He pummels his fist into my gut. “I’ve got visions stacked to the fucking moon, so you can suck my dick.” He yanks me in by the shirt, the whites of his eyes glow like flames. “She was
never
yours to begin with.”

Every muscle in my body goes rigid because on some level what he’s saying must be true, and, yet, I’m still too much of a moron to believe it.

“She’s mine.” I meant to say it with just as much ferocity, but it comes out barely a whisper as if my vocal cords didn’t want any part of the lie.

Gage bunches my shirt up and pulls me in even closer. The blue wash of moonlight exposes a seam of blood dripping from his lip, and it makes me feel like crap knowing I did that to him.

“I can take you to her right now, Logan,” he pants the words right over my mouth. “I’ll stop beating the shit out of you. We’ll clean you up, and you can wrap your arms around one another and not let go until you’re ripped from this planet.” He closes his eyes a moment as if he were in pain. “Do this for her, please. I know she’d want me to beg you. If she knew how this was going down, she’d want to see you. She loves you, dude. She’s fucking head over heels, so don’t hold her under the water like this. You’re going to kill her.” His Adam’s apple rises and falls. “She’ll be an empty shell. You’re going to take her with you. She’ll be stuck on this planet in misery because she never got a proper goodbye.”

I lay my head back in the dew-covered grass and stare up at the stars veiled with Paragon’s signature fog. He’s right, I’m wrong, and I still can’t see myself slitting her existence in half with the knife of grief. There’s no way I’m inflicting an ounce of pain on her one last time.

“I don’t want to say anything to her.” I get up and start heading toward the house.

“You don’t want to say anything because you’re a fucking
pussy
,” Gage roars it out like a lion before tackling me to the ground.

We go at it again. Second verse same as the first.

Fists fly. Blood trickles down his face in a thick, black river.

“
Stop!
” A girl’s voice shrills it out like the serrated edge of a saw, cutting right through this world and into the next.

Gage and I stop long enough to look up. And there she is—Skyla in all her ethereal glory. The moon glows through her hair. The stars spray out behind her as if they were venerating her beauty.

Gage gets up and pulls me to my feet.

Swear to God, I think he cracked a rib.

“I’d better go.” I stumble past her. I can’t look her in the eye because Gage worked me up so damn much I might cry like a pussy until I officially receive an eviction from the planet. This wasn’t near enough time to love Skyla, not how I wanted to—how I wish to God I still could.

“Not so fast.” She pulls me in and lands her gentle gaze over my features. I’m sure I look like shit rolled in blood and dirt—wearing my broken heart on my sleeve. “What happened?”

I glance over to Gage because the whole fucking universe knows he’s ready and willing to spill it like a seventh grade girl.

“Nothing that concerns you,” I belt it out, looking right at my nephew with a threat locked in my eyes. This isn’t how I want it to happen. Not like this with both Gage and I bloodied and broken, neither one of us fit to properly help her through the aftermath.

“You’re making one fucking huge mistake.” Gage speeds over with his leg buckling each time he takes a step. “Think about it.” He tries to pull me in by the elbow, but I yank loose. “Dude.” He’s begging me with those deep, knowing eyes. He’s begging me one last time to do it.

I pull him in hard by the shirt.

“This is
my
business. You got that?” I grit it out just this side of killing him and sending him to paradise first. “You fucking mind your own.” I walk him back a step before giving him a hard shove into the water and watch as he sinks to the bottom of the pool. “Skyla.” I wince as I say her name because it might just have sailed through my lips for the very last time. “Stay here. Take care of him.”

“Where are you going?” A viral fear takes over her features as if she already knows on some level.

I glance back at the house with its upturned furniture, the drapes pulled down, the couch looks as if it’s capsizing right into the living room floor. Emma is going to shit a brick when she sees what we’ve done to the place. There’s no way I’m hanging out.

“I’ve got a few things I need to do,” I whisper into Skyla, just shy of touching my hand to her cheek.

Gage bobs up and down in the water while panting into the night.

“Take care.” I step in and land my lips over hers. I can hardly feel her. It’s as if this entire world has already started to unravel, and I’m experiencing it like a memory. I look into her beautiful, glowing eyes as they reflect the stars. “Remember I’ll always love you, no matter what happens.” I touch my thumb to her cheek and take in her beauty one last time. A grievous smile plays on my lips, and I hate it. I hate that I can even think to smile when I know this might be the last time we lay eyes on one another.

I take off for the house and snatch my keys off the counter before jumping into the truck. I start the engine and roll down the windows to let the fog seep inside.

“What the hell happened?” Skyla’s voice carries from the backyard just as clear as if she had whispered the words into my ear.

“Water’s warm,” Gage says a little more cheerful than I would have pegged him for after what just happened.

A dull laugh rattles from me. He’s already there, back to flirting, back to begging Skyla to choose him. Maybe that’s the validation he needs—for her to be officially Team Gage before I make my final exit.

“It can’t be,” she counters. “It’s freezing out.”

“I left the heater on. It’s like a Roman bathtub,” he shouts to her. “All right, you can help me out.”

A moment of silence beats by then a splash ensues.

Well played, Gage. You’ve got Skyla right where you want her.

“You are
so
in trouble,” she screams.

The sound of water being sloshed disrupts the night.

“Oh yeah?” His voice echoes over the landscape. “Come here.” The air clots up with silence. “Breathe, Skyla.”

It’s quiet for far too long, and I’d bet good money he’s covered her mouth with his.

Fuck.

I stare out the windshield, in a daze, for a small eternity.

Maybe I
should
tell her. Maybe I should drown Gage in the process just for the hell of it.

“I need you to breathe, Skyla.” His voice tunnels up into the sky like a love song.

“I need you, too,” she says it far more guarded, quiet in comparison to his romantic proclamation. “What was the fight about?”

“That’s Logan’s deal,” he says it soft, and in that moment I know he’s not going to betray me. “It’s senior day tomorrow.”

“The last day before winter break.” She goes along with the change of subject as if she weren’t even that interested in what I might be keeping from her. “Tell me you’re coming to class. I’d hate for it to be just Marshall and me.”

“I’m not,” he whispers. “In fact, I’m heading to Host tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be back in a few days. It’s a football thing—coach wants to see me in action.”

Host? I know for a fact this is bullshit. If he’s going to Host, it’s because he can’t stand the thought of not telling her. He needs some metric distance to make sure it doesn’t happen.

“I want to go.” She sounds panicked.

Maybe she will go. At least that way when they hear of my passing, they’ll be together, and Gage will have to comfort her whether he wants to or not. I don’t have any doubt he wants to—it’s just that he wishes I would make things easier by filling her in on the tragedy in the making. Although, I’m not sure it would make anything easier in the end.

“You’ll be busy.” Gage says it morose, dripping with grief. “Do what you have to do, Skyla. It’s okay. I already know what happens.” A beat of silence slices by. “I love you. I’ll love you always and forever. Nothing changes between us. You’ll always be special to me.”

Tears glide down my face. If I can’t hold Skyla every day until I’m old and grey, I want Gage to do it. I felt his love for her every time he kneed me in the gut. Gage and I were warring for a lot of reasons back there, and every single one of those reasons lead right to Skyla Messenger. Gage is going to love her. He’s going to be her husband. He’s going to make love to her night after night, and a part of me is cheering him on. Fate may not have dealt me a fair hand, but no matter how much it wrenches my gut, it doesn’t mean I’m not happy for Gage.

“Are things going to change?” Skyla’s voice swims like a fish through the night.

“Everything changes.”

Everything changes. Gage pegged it just right.

I back out of the driveway and head for the hills, to the bowling alley to be exact. My life has become a storm. I’m the curator of all this pain. All of the damage will be of my own making. When and if I do reach heaven, I know for a fact there will be no peace. Not without Skyla. There could never be.

Gage and Skyla are going to have it all. It’s just one more tough pill I have to swallow before I leave this planet for good.

I’m glad it’s Gage—my friend—my brother.

I love both him and Skyla.

And I wish them nothing but the best.

The next day, as the sun sets, the anemic number of patrons turn in their shoes and head for the exit. It’s an hour to closing, and there’s not a soul left in the bowling alley. I’m pretty sure my soul doesn’t count, since it’s all but officially been claimed by the reaper. I’m just this side of a ghost—haunting my own establishment.