Perfectly Broken (19 page)

* * *

After watching the sunset from the deck, both snuggled under a blanket together, the chilly night breeze forced them back inside. Reed turned off all the lights and started a fire in the fireplace. He stretched out on the sofa behind Peyton, resting her head on his chest, their fingers locked together. He breathed in her familiar vanilla scent, now mixed with the salty Gulf breeze. He moved her long hair to the side, past her scar, and began to kiss her neck, his lips grazing her warm skin, letting his tongue linger. Peyton purred softly, testing his will and making it harder for him to hold back. He leaned his head back on the sofa and took a deep breath, trying to remind himself the trip was for grieving and healing, not bumping and grinding.

But Peyton didn’t want him to stop. Without saying a word, she got up and turned her back to the fire crackling behind her. Her heart racing, her knees weak, she started to slowly unbutton her shirt, looking him in the eye as her hands moved.

Reed sat up straight, waiting and hoping. He could hardly believe his eyes.
I’m not stopping her this time.

She felt her hands tremble at each button but told herself to keep going.
Be brave
. She undid the last button and dropped her shirt to the floor. She reached behind to unhook her bra and slowly slid the straps down, still holding the bra over her breasts. Then she dropped her bra to the floor, her long brown hair falling onto her bare breasts.

He stood up from the sofa, taking her in, the silhouette of her body framed by the firelight. He hardly knew what to do — an uncommon feeling for him — unsure what Peyton was allowing him to do. His eyes slid over her body, her breasts rising and falling with each breath. He pushed her hair covering her breasts onto her back, so he could really see her now. He put his arms around her, resting his hands on her bare back, giving her some confidence and support.

She watched his steel blue eyes as he looked her up and down, like she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. And her fear and doubt melted away. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his before lifting his shirt over his head and pulling him closer, her warm full breasts pushing against his hard chest. He lifted her up off the ground, running his fingertips down her spine, and she wrapped her legs around him.

He carried her to the sofa and gave her top lip a gentle suck then traced her lips lightly with his tongue, causing Peyton to moan and part her lips. He pulled back slightly, seeing her eyes closed in full desire. He leaned back to her mouth, warm against his, and pulled her body tighter. He ran his hands through her hair and gripped her ass covered in shorts, before moving on to her breasts. He traced the curves of her breasts with his fingers then held them in his hands, feeling her nipples harden. She arched her back as he ran kisses down her neck.

Reed took one breast into his mouth and sucked her into submission. Her breath heavy and ragged, she dug her fingers into his back, a wave of heat shooting through her. He moved to her other breast, slipping it into his mouth, rolling his tongue around her hard nipple. Peyton felt a pool of wetness between her legs, feeling she could orgasm at any moment. Reed sensed it, too. He wanted to see it. He’d waited so long. He reached his hand down her shorts and under her panties, grabbing her bare ass, pulling her tightly to him, letting her feel how hard he was.

Out of nowhere, a big, hearty voice flew inside Peyton’s head — as booming as the voice of God casting out church thieves.
Dr. Lorraine
. She panicked.
Share your heart before your body.
Peyton suddenly shoved Reed away with both hands, knocking him off balance and down to the floor.

Reed reached for his tailbone. He’d never been kicked out of bed before — or off a sofa — by any woman. He let out a chuckle, as Peyton threw her hands over her face.

“Sorry!” she said, mortified, knowing she could’ve just touched his arm or whispered to him to remove his hand.
Another overreaction to another guy. Idiot.

His chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh, pleased he’d finally hit second base — almost third — and generally amused by Peyton now peeking through her fingers. “Don’t be,” he said and handed Peyton her shirt. “I knew I was pushing my luck, but I really can’t help myself anymore.”

Peyton held her shirt in her hand. “Do you think you can behave yourself now?”

Reed nodded like a good boy. “Then come to bed.” She dropped her shirt and held out her hand to help him up. “I want you to sleep in bed with me. I want to wake up with you next to me.”

* * *

The waves crashing outside, the fire still crackling, they lay in bed together in the darkness. Reed knew things were going nowhere tonight. He wished they were — rolling around naked in the sheets — but he wasn’t going to make a big deal about it. There was no sense complaining or pouting or pressuring her. He just had to enjoy unwrapping her, to enjoy each sliver of her, until one day, hopefully, he’d get the whole pie.

“This is actually the first time I’ve ever done this,” he whispered, unsure whether she was asleep.

“What?”

“Slept next to a woman. I think I could get used to it.”

“Me, too.” Peyton yawned, cuddling against his chest. “I like being your first.”

Reed kissed her forehead, smiling, wondering whether she’d be his first and his last. He closed his eyes falling asleep.

* * *

Reed woke up as never before — in a tangled web of arms, legs, and hair — Peyton wrapped around him, still sleeping. It was sweet to see her this way. He wanted to wake up like this everyday, to stay here with her forever.

Then suddenly his heart pounded, seeing what was poking through his boxer briefs and the sheets. It was as if the Space Needle was transported during the night from Seattle to Seaside. He’d never faced this situation before, his morning arousal so visible, mere inches from a woman — and one who’d proven she wasn’t going to do anything about it, at least not yet. And he didn’t expect her to. He told himself again to be patient.
Please don’t wake up yet
.

But he needed more than words. He needed action. And jerking off wasn’t an option. He formed a plan and made his move. With one arm around Peyton, he slid the other into his boxer briefs. He tried to poke it, squeeze it, bend it, choke it — all very gently, of course — in hopes it would go away. But nothing worked. It just wouldn’t be denied — not with such a hot girl in his arms, not after last night around the fireplace. He cursed under his breath then changed plans.

He tried to scoot over, to get out of bed before she woke up, but Peyton moved with him like a magnet. He smiled and tried again, this time attempting to roll her on her side, but she simply turned back to him, throwing her arm on top of him and nuzzling her head into his neck. He smiled again before making a third attempt, gently picking up her hand to place it at her side, but she slid her hand away and released a little moan before her hand landed squarely on top of his rock hard dick.

Reed froze. He looked at her face. She was still sound asleep. But she’d be up any minute. Time was running out. He needed it to go away. He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath, trying to think of the most unpleasant things in the whole world — root canals, the Saints losing to a shitty team, nails against a chalkboard, female bodybuilders. Nothing worked — and certainly not now, with her warm hand against him, more powerful than any mind trick.

He lifted his head and looked down at her hand on him. He couldn’t let Peyton wake up this way — with her hand on his dick only a foot from her face. He started to sweat. He couldn’t move, and things were moving in the wrong direction.
Shit.
He was getting fuller, harder, longer. He tried to wiggle out from under her. Then Peyton started to move. She let out a little moan and flexed her fingers around him. Her eyes flashed open.

Reed quickly closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep, not wanting to embarrass her and also more than a little curious what she’d do. He felt her head lift from his shoulder, her hair slightly brushing his cheek. He could tell she was studying his face to see if he was awake, so he tried to keep his breathing calm, steady. He felt her hand move off him and nearly groaned at the loss of contact.

“I know you’re awake,” she said, sliding her finger underneath his waistband.

Reed blinked his eyes like he just woke up. “What? Huh? What’s going on?”

“I know you’ve been awake,” she said again. “You’re not a good liar.”

Reed stopped blinking and rolled his eyes. “Aw hell, I woke up, and you had your hand there! I tried to move it away!”

“Why would you do that?” she asked, leaning down to kiss his neck and slowly rubbing him with her hand. “Do you not like my hand?”

“No, no, no,” he said, trying to speak, his mind spinning, the room feeling like an inferno. “I love it.”

Peyton pulled down his boxer briefs, letting his massive erection fly free, her eyes marveling at the size, the thickness. She ran her thumb across the warm tip before reaching over to the nightstand for some lotion. Then she climbed on top of him, her breasts exposed, and straddled his thighs firmly. She wrapped her hand around his dick, the cool lotion a sharp contrast to his heat. She slowly moved her hand up and down, using her wrist to stroke him. Reed held her hips, then she gripped him a little tighter, increasing her speed, falling into a nice rhythm. She chuckled inside, knowing she hadn’t done this in a long time but thinking a hand job was a lot like riding a bike. Peyton continued to stroke him with one hand then took her other and gently cupped his balls, massaging them gently.

“Holy fuck!” Reed groaned then pulled her beside him, grabbing her ass and kissing her hard on the lips.

She slid her hand over him harder, faster, feeling his entire body tense and his toes curl. She could tell he was close. She locked her eyes on his as he finished and called out her name. She continued to massage him, making sure to claim every last bit.

“I think I’ll need a wake-up call every morning,” he panted.

“I think that can be arranged.” She grabbed a towel and handed it to him. Then Reed moved on top of her, looking to return the favor, but she nudged him away. It was one thing for her to be in control of his body but quite another to let him be in control of her body — and not before she did as Dr. Lorraine advised. “This was about you.”

Reed sat up quickly. “What? I’m not that guy! I’m not selfish like that! No way!” Peyton got out of bed. “Hey, don’t walk away!”

“I’m hungry,” she said, throwing on a shirt. “Go shower, and I’ll make breakfast.”

“No,” Reed said. “I’m supposed to be taking care of you, remember? I should be making
you
breakfast, giving
you
mind-blowing orgasms!”

Peyton smiled. “It was mind-blowing?”

Reed smiled back. “You know it was, baby.” He got up and reached for her. “Seriously, I don’t feel right about this.”

“I’m happy.” Peyton kissed him on the cheek. “You don’t have anything to feel bad about.”

* * *

Reed got out of the shower, dripping wet and still conflicted, the joy of her hand now a faded memory. From the bathroom, he heard Peyton’s phone ring and yelled out to her. But she didn’t respond. He waited a moment, wrapped a towel around his waist, and came out to answer. He saw her phone on the nightstand, a name flashing on the screen. He walked out of the bedroom looking for Peyton and found her in the kitchen making breakfast. She took the phone and answered but before saying another word, walked outside. Reed watched her on the back porch. After a minute, Peyton came back in and picked up an egg, as if the phone call never happened.

“Are you sick?” Reed asked, worried.

“No,” Peyton said, “why would you think that?”

“Who’s Dr. Lorraine?”

She gripped the egg in her hand, accidentally cracking the shell. “I just missed an appointment,” she said dismissively.

“What appointment?”

“We can talk about that later,” she said, faking a smile. “Let’s have breakfast.”

Reed threw up his hands. “It seems you call all the shots
in and out
of bed.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Really? Then who the hell is Dr. Lorraine? And why can you jerk me off, but I can’t touch you?”

Peyton took a step back, her bottom lip in full pout. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t give me the lip,” he said, putting his hands on her waist. “Talk to me.”

“Later, please,” she said quietly.

Reed bent down, giving her bottom lip a little suck. “After breakfast,” he said, searching her eyes. Peyton gave a slight nod before he went to get dressed.

* * *

Looking out towards the Gulf, Peyton curled her toes in the sand, her hands folded together as if in prayer. She felt Reed’s eyes on her from behind. He’d come out of the bedroom to find breakfast but not her. He picked up a piece of toast then walked to the patio door, watching the breeze whipping her hair.

Peyton didn’t look back towards him or the house. She kept her eyes straight ahead to the Gulf. She knew she’d have to face him soon— to reveal herself as Dr. Lorraine wanted — but she also knew the longer she kept herself hidden, the longer things could stay the same between them. Watching each crashing wave, she knew it couldn’t last forever.

She burned into her mind how he’d always looked at her — the desire and intensity — fearing he’d never see her the same way again. She thought back to the jolt of electricity when they touched that first day in her shop, their first kiss, dancing under the stars in Audubon Park, how disheveled he looked sitting on her porch after the Mardi Gras Ball. She now expected all of it — the good times and bad — would soon be gone. Soon she’d only have memories. That’s the way her life had always been. She wanted to make sure she didn’t forget.

After a quick prayer, she rose to her feet and turned towards the cottage, her eyes landing on Reed sitting on the deck steps. A part of her wanted to run into his arms, to tell him everything and hope it would all work out, but another part wanted to turn and run out into the Gulf, to swim away forever, leaving her past and her fears behind. She reached for her locket and closed her eyes.
Be brave.