Perfectly Flawed (26 page)

Sean looked at her as if no one else were present. Her heart pounded in her chest.

“I
know
, Adrianna. You don’t have to worry anymore…I know
more
than you think I do. There’s nothing to fear.”

How could he know?
Adrianna searched his face, looking for some sign of disapproval, any indication that he thought less of her. But she didn’t see any change at all. Sean looked at her like he always had—with understanding and love.

“But how could you know
more
? More than what?”

“More than you told me. And it doesn’t matter.”

Adrianna realized that he
did
know. There was nothing else he could mean.

“But how?
Did my mother talk to you?”

Kevin began pacing the deck, huffing.

“No. Krista did.”

“Krista? But she…”

“She knows more about everything than you think.” Sean opened his arms, beckoning Adrianna.

Suddenly, Kevin lurched toward them. “No way,” he said, reaching for Sean’s shoulders to shove him back.

With his hand open, Sean thrust his left arm out, near the left side of Kevin’s head. Distracted by the motion, Kevin threw a punch in that direction. And faster than Adrianna’s eyes could follow, Sean delivered a blow to the gut with his right fist. Doubled over, Kevin was out of action. It had all taken no more than a couple seconds.

Sean looked with disgust at Kevin then put his arm around Adrianna to guide her away.

“Come on. Let’s get out of this dump.”

Chapter 30

As soon as they were in the Charger, Sean headed out of the resort area. Once they were clear of it, he pulled off the road and killed the engine. He pulled Adrianna into his arms and held her tight.

“Are you okay?”

Adrianna leaned back to look into his eyes. She nodded. “How did you find me?”

“It wasn’t easy. I found out you came to Nahant with Kevin. I’ve been to this area many times. When I got close, I hoped to spot the home, but there are so many.”

“You had the address?”

“Nope.
Some lady at the event recited Kevin’s description of the place. When I stopped at the mini mart a couple blocks away, the attendant knew the place and told me how to find it. Apparently, the wide deck perched out over the ocean stood out in his mind, which was lucky. I was at little late, as it was. When I got out of the car, I heard you scream. It sounded like it was coming from outside, so I raced up the stairs to the deck, as fast as I could.”

Adrianna touched his cheek. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“We’ll discuss that.” Sean didn’t appear concerned, but then he didn’t know the danger he was in. Krista could have told him many things, but she didn’t know about her mother’s demand earlier that day. There hadn’t been time to relay those details, and it was likely Hannah wouldn’t anyway, knowing her sister would disapprove of her threatening her own daughter.

Before starting up again, Sean turned on the map light and searched for something on his phone. Adrianna gave him a minute, needing to reorient. As good as it was to be with Sean, his action had wiped out her efforts to keep him out of reach. He had no idea what he was getting into.

“Okay, let’s go.” Sean kissed her tenderly, then leaned back to his side and pulled onto the road.

“Where are we going?”

“To a hotel.”

“Why?”

“I can’t take the risk that Kevin will let your parents know what happened, and that they’ll come after you. I need to protect you.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about.”

Sean glanced at her.

“Oh, Sean, they’ll never let us be together. Don’t you see that?”

“I don’t see that. Not at all. Since when do they call the shots?” Sean smiled. “Things have changed, love. Nobody is going to mess with you again.”

Adrianna wanted to explain the dire situation they were in, but it wasn’t the right time. They did need to go somewhere out of harm’s reach, and she needed something to wear that wasn’t ripped to shreds.

Before she knew it, they were at the Four Seasons, and the porter was opening the heavy gold doors for them. Walking up to the long, polished redwood registration desk, Sean said, “We’ll be safe here.”

He secured a room and guided Adrianna across the gleaming floors into the huge elevator. Spending the night in a luxury hotel should be wonderful, but her stomach roiled with anxiety. Time was short before her mother would find out Sean had come after her—and punched Kevin to boot.

Adrianna stepped inside and gasped. “Wow, what room did you get?” The place was enormous. She walked across the main room to a smaller sitting room separated by slender glass-paneled doors. The suite was furnished with thickly padded furniture in a clay color, and the carpets were earth tone.

Out the many windows, the lights on the buildings in the financial district sparkled. Below, the trees looked like a black mass in the dark night. Adrianna turned and noticed the traditional paintings decorating the walls; the place was all class. There was even a full dining room.

“How long are we staying here?”

Sean smiled at her.
“Long enough.”

The bedroom had rich mustard-gold carpet, with a bed comforter to match. To the side was a dark wood desk, and the walls were covered with gold and cream wallpaper. Beside the bed was an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne.

Sean saw her gaze fall on the bottle. “I’ll see if I can order up some sparkling apple juice.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll have champagne.”

Sean raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. He went into the master bath and came back with a thick terry robe. “Here, you go get fixed up. I quite enjoy the view with your dress ripped down the front, but I think you’ll be more comfortable in this.”

Adrianna couldn’t resist the huge marble shower; she shed her clothes and got in. With her long hair wrapped in a towel, she let the warm water flow down her back. She wanted to be with Sean, and knew he wanted the same. But it was just like him to give her a few minutes alone to recover.

What now?
It was too late to keep to her original plan. Having seen Sean, she couldn’t send him away. She didn’t want to. And it wouldn’t make any difference. Since she’d violated her mother’s orders, it was over. Her parents would follow through with their threats. She imagined how furious they’d be—especially her mother—when the news reached them.

It wouldn’t be long. Kevin wouldn’t have stayed at the beach house alone. He’d have gone straight home, probably calling her mother on the way. But for now, she was out of reach. And so was Sean. Nobody would look for them at the hotel. It was a relief to know she had a few hours to come up with something.

Wrapped in the soft robe, her hair loose, Adrianna returned to the main room to find Sean relaxed in one of the plush chairs. In one hand he held a glass of champagne, and in his other, he lifted another glass for her.

Adrianna took a sip of the delicious champagne and smiled at him.
“Hmm, delicious. Now I know what I’ve been missing.”

“No more.” Sean sat his glass on the table next to him and opened his arms to her.

She sat across his lap and took another sip of champagne. It felt so good being with Sean, alone where no one could bother them. If only it could last.

Sean pulled her down to him and kissed her sweetly. She parted her lips, welcoming his kiss. His warmth engulfed her, and the champagne relaxed her. Life had taken a turn for the better.

“Hungry?”

Adrianna laughed. “I know you are.”

“Yep. Fighting always works up an appetite.”

She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. Then there was a knock at the door.

“That will be room service.” Sean grinned. “I ordered food. Didn’t think you’d want to go out.”

Sean hadn’t just ordered food, he’d ordered full meals. The server wheeled in a cart laden
with dishes, and accepted his tip graciously. Sean moved the cart to the dining table, then arranged the plates and waved her over.

Adrianna realized how hungry she really was. Before her was a plate stacked with slivered vegetables and perfectly grilled shrimp. Her mouth watered. She sat next to Sean and began eating. It was delicious. She ate several shrimp and some of the vegetables then started working on the hot chowder.

With delight, she watched Sean devour chunks of lobster and baked potato smothered with sour cream. In between, he finished his glass of champagne and poured another. The tight cotton shirt he wore gave her a chance to admire his chiseled muscles while enjoying her food.

“What did you order?
Everything on the menu?” She wiped her lips with a napkin.

“Not quite.” Sean uncovered a silver dish.
“Dessert.”

Adrianna giggled.

“New York cheesecake.”

“I know.” She grinned.
“With blueberry sauce.”

“How could I resist?”

They shared the treat, spooning bites of creamy delight into each other’s mouths, finishing it to the last drop of yummy sauce. Adrianna was stuffed, but had never felt better. The edge of hunger had never been far away in many years, her way of keeping her weight down. Or was it just to avoid her mother’s nagging?

“It feels good to be full,” she said.

“To me too.” Sean helped her up from the table and guided her to bed. But he didn’t undress her, or even kiss her. Instead, he arranged a couple of fluffy pillows under his head and cradled her beside him.

In his strong arms, and completely content, Adrianna drifted to sleep. One minute she was warm in Sean’s embrace, tempted to rip his clothes off to feel his bare skin next to hers.

And the next minute—she was
screaming
.

“Don’t! Please stop!” Adrianna was sweating and gasping for air. A horrible pain carved deep in her gut. After opening her eyes, she didn’t know where she was at first.

A low light came on, and there was Sean’s voice. “It’s okay, love. Just a dream. I’m here.”

But it wasn’t okay. It would never be okay. Breathing fast, her heart racing, Adrianna put her hands over her face.
The dream
. It would never go away. Peace was something she’d never have. And now, making everything worse, Sean was a part of it.

Sitting up, Adrianna tried to get free of the nightmare and back to reality. She looked at Sean, still expecting she might find the reaction she dreaded. Love for her would drain from his expression, replaced by disappointment. She stared. But all she saw was warmth and concern.

“What did Krista tell you?”

“That you lost the baby.”

“That’s all?”

“Mostly.
She doesn’t know everything. I guess your mother told her what happened, but I know there’s more, Adrianna.”

She looked down at her hands. Could she possibly tell him? She’d never talked about it. Not with anyone.

“What’s the dream about, love? It’s not the first time you’ve had it, is it?”

Adrianna shook her head.

“It’s why you don’t like spending the night, isn’t it?”

She looked at him—her sexy, handsome man. Drinking in his love, the warmth of him,
Adrianna tried to work up the courage to tell him all of it. But she just couldn’t face it, the possibility that he would never think of her the same. And once said, she couldn’t take it back.

As if reading her mind, Sean said, “You’re worried about what I’ll think?”

Adrianna just watched him, hoping for confidence in how to proceed.

“Nothing could make me think badly of you, love. You didn’t tell me about losing the baby, and I know you had your reasons. But you need to talk. You can’t hold this inside anymore.”

Adrianna started to shake. It was true. No matter what happened, she had to tell Sean. There was no way to push all of it aside. She floundered, unsure how to start.

Gripping a wad of the terrycloth robe in her hand, she said, “I never talk about it. I’m afraid to talk about it…I’ll fall apart, Sean.” Tears welled in her eyes.

Sean took her hand in his. The room seemed unbearably silent.

“I was…fairly young at the time.
Had just turned seventeen. You can’t imagine how it was. You know, living with my mother. She never let up. It was always the pageants, and she harped continually about how I looked, and nagged about every ounce I put on. I starved. I worked out.

“I did everything, but it was never enough.
Never good enough. You’d think it was her out on the stage the way she went on about it. And my father was no help. He let her do what she wanted. He was always working, and when he was around, I wondered if he even loved me.

“He never hugged me, never showed any affection. All the expensive gifts always held some sort of status. Like the car, the red one I rarely drive. The jewelry, the clothes—all of it was for show.
To put me on display. None of it meant anything personal.

“I started to cut.
Just a few times. I met this girl in high school that did it, and she told me lots of people do it. That it felt good. That I should try it…so I did.

“And she was right. It did give me relief, but I found it harder and harder to resist. When my mother would berate me, when I felt like no one listened to me, or even cared what I thought…I’d cut.

“I had to be discreet, because it couldn’t show in the swimsuit competitions. I was careful. Cut just enough to draw blood, just enough to have that outlet, and always somewhere I didn’t think it would be visible. It centered me, made me forget. Just for a little bit, it let me get away from the pressures.

“I just…I didn’t know what else to do.

“Then at one of the parties we went to, I met someone. He seemed so taken with me. It’s like I was empty of feeling, and then he made me feel something.

“Not like you and me. It was…different. I think I craved his attention. He made me feel noticed, important, at least to someone. As the party went on, we got a little drunk, and in one of the back rooms we started making out.

“Nobody missed us. One thing led to another. I thought of stopping it. I’d never had sex before. But it felt too good. He told me I was beautiful, and it seemed like he meant it. I felt nice. It seemed good.

“I never thought I’d get pregnant. We didn’t think about that at all. Swept up in the intense feeling, how it feels the first time…we just…did it.

“I didn’t see him after that, but the next month I missed my period.” She looked intently at Sean. “You know the rest.”

Sean lifted her hand and kissed it. “I don’t think I do know the rest. How did you lose the baby?”