Perfekt Order (The Ære Saga Book 1) (32 page)

“Fenrir and I aren’t that different. We’re
both born of monsters. Both raised to be better than our nature
would have us be. But my love wasn’t strong enough to overcome
Fenrir’s darkness. Who’s to say my parents’ love was enough to
overcome mine? What would happen if you were the one at my side
when I lost it?” Tyr kept his hands on the operating table. His
shoulders shook.

“I’m willing to take that chance.”

“But you’re not safe with me, Mia.” Tyr
whipped around, with pleading eyes.

“That’s because you guys keep locking me in
places whenever something bad happens. You said it yourself—I’m a
lot tougher than I look. You might as well teach me how to channel
it.”

“How?” Tyr whispered.

“Stop treating me like I’m helpless. Let me
use one of your super space guns the next time something goes down.
Teach me your uber-self defense. Give me the chance to be a part of
your life, instead of just watching you live it from inside a glass
case.”

Tyr stared at me. “Is that how you feel? Like
I don’t let you into my life?”

“Yes. I get that you’re trying to protect me,
but I’ve never wanted to be that girl who hid behind a man when
things got tough. Those girls didn’t go into Super G.”

The corner of Tyr’s mouth turned up. “I
see.”

Sensing the opening, I pressed on. “I’m not
saying throw me to the wolf and cross your fingers. I’m just saying
if you gave me the tools, you might be surprised at what I could
do.”

Tyr’s voice cracked. “That’s scary for
me.”

“I know.” I swept my hand around the garage.
“But this is scary for me. Nothing about any of this is familiar,
or normal, or even remotely logical. And in case you hadn’t
noticed, I really like logic.”

“I know you do.” Tyr cupped my cheek with his
palm. “You win. We’ll do some combat training tomorrow. Even though
I really don’t like the idea of you fighting anyone, I don’t want
you to feel like I’m shutting you out of my life.”

I brought my hand up to meet his. “I’m not
going anywhere. And nothing’s going to hurt me, so long as you give
me the tools I need to take care of myself. You can stop
worrying.”

Tyr’s eyes met mine with a wistful smile. “I
don’t think I’ll ever stop worrying about you. But I can promise
I’ll never stop fighting to make sure you’re safe. And I promise
when Fenrir’s captured, I’ll take you away from all this.”

“Like on a vacation?” My face broke into a
grin—that meant Tyr wasn’t going to catch the first rainbow bridge
back to Asgard when the whole Fenrir situation was over. We could
actually enjoy normal couple time together… even if we were far
from a normal couple.

“Anywhere you want. Just the two of us,” Tyr
vowed.

I stood on my toes, kissed his bottom lip,
and turned him around to face the sleeping beast.

“Get the nerves and let’s finish this,” I
instructed. “Everything is going to be just fine. You’ll see.”

Tyr picked up the scalpel. He winked over his
shoulder before he made his next cut. “Good thing you’re always
right.”

****

A little more than an hour later, I sat in
Tyr’s kitchen, staring at a jar containing nine live bear nerves.
Somewhere in the forest behind Tyr’s house, a bear was waking up,
wondering why its right shoulder felt just a little bit
lighter.

The bear would never know what happened to
it. Before Tyr had carried the creature back to the forest, he’d
wiped its memory clean.

He’d wiped its memory clean.

Tyr had held a hand over the bear’s head,
mumbled something I didn’t understand, and just like that the
animal had been relieved of any memory it had created during the
last twenty-four hours.

If Tyr could do that to the brain of a
three-hundred-pound beast, I could only imagine what he could do to
me. The entire situation was unnerving. No pun intended

Now, Tyr placed a steaming cup of chamomile
in my hands, and took the seat next to me at the kitchen table.
“Thought you might need this.”

“Thanks.” I stared into the golden tea.

“Something wrong?” Tyr slid an arm around my
shoulders.

I shrugged, refusing to meet his eyes. The
tea traced a warm path down my throat to my stomach. It instantly
brought my stress level from ten to eight.

“I know something’s on your mind, baby. Hit
me.” Tyr kept his hand on my upper arm and pulled back just enough
to stare me down. The color of his eyes was absolutely
mesmerizing.

“Mia?” Tyr spoke softly.

“Are you going to do that to me?” I blurted.
“Wipe my memory clean?”

Tyr eyed me levelly. “It depends.”

“On what?” I gripped my teacup so hard, my
knuckles cracked.

“On whether you experience something so
traumatic, you wouldn’t be able to recover without a cleansing. If
that happened, then yes. I’d wipe the memories. I did a partial
wipe on you the day you were attacked in the woods.”

“You did what?” I shrieked.

“It was necessary. You started to wake up
while Freya was healing your arm. When I got back to you after
Fenrir escaped, you were coming to, and you were screaming. You
were in a lot of pain. I wiped your memory from the moment you
blacked out until after Freya finished her healing, and she and I
were out of sight. Brynn stayed with you until you woke up.”

“That is not okay. Why would you do
that?”

“I told you.” Tyr’s expression lacked the
appropriate amount of remorse. “You don’t need to suffer on my
account. You were attacked because Fenrir believed you were
associated with me, and you were in a lot of pain. You didn’t need
to remember what you were going through.”

“I don’t want you messing around in my head.”
I didn’t blink.

“I know you don’t. And under normal
circumstances, I wouldn’t dream of invading your privacy like that.
For what it’s worth, I didn’t snoop around when I was in your head.
I just wiped the experience and got out. I don’t like reading
people’s minds, you know.”

“Wait, you can—oh, cheese and crackers. You
can read minds too?” My head throbbed. I pushed my tea to the side,
wrapped my arms around my face, and rested my forehead on the
table.

“Hey.” Tyr rubbed my lower back. “Why does
that upset you?”

“Because,” I moaned. “You know what I’m
thinking? Like, all the time?” When I’d ogled his backside,
compared him to a Greek god, thought about…
doing things…
he’d been listening in. This was beyond mortifying.

“I don’t monitor your thoughts, Mia, but I
would if I needed to. If Fenrir had captured you, and I needed to
find you, I could have listened for your mind and tracked you.”

“You’ve
never
listened to my
thoughts?” I cautiously lifted my head.

“Well, maybe one time.” The corner of Tyr’s
mouth lifted in a smirk. “But I figured you wouldn’t be too happy
if you found out, so I didn’t do it again.”

“Oh, God. What did you hear?”

“A gentleman never tells.” Tyr grinned. “But
like I said. It won’t happen again.”

“How does it work, exactly—reading someone’s
mind? Do you have to consciously do it, or do you just hear
voices?” I propped my chin on my hands, curiosity trumping
embarrassment and fear.

Tyr chuckled. “I have to consciously do it.
It’s not a science; I can zero in on one person and follow their
specific thoughts, or I can take a scan of a room and get general
vibes—you can tell from someone’s thought pattern whether they’re
up to no good.”

“Really?”

“Really. But it’s easier to scan someone’s
aura and assess them that way. It won’t tell me what they’re
planning to do, but it gives me a read on their moral compass.” Tyr
gently rubbed the knots in my lower back.

“Did you ever do that on me?”

“Of course. The night we met.”

“What did you see?” I held my breath.

“You, baby, are refreshingly uncorrupted.” He
raised an eyebrow. “At least, for now.”

My fist connected with his shoulder a lot
harder than I meant it to. My knuckles stung. “Sorry.”

Tyr shrugged. “I can take it.”

“Back to the mind reading—have you always
done it?”

“Since I took my title, yes. Odin gave my dad
the ability after the war against the fire giants. That battle
started because Loki abducted a giantess, and her father launched
the attack on Asgard. Odin thought one of us should have seen what
Loki was up to. My dad lost two of his best friends in that
battle.”

“That’s terrible.” I twined my fingers
through the silky strands of his hair, and gently rubbed his
scalp.

Tyr closed his eyes. “Odin lost someone close
to him that day, too. It was the impetus he needed to give the war
god the ability to read minds.”

“Why’d he give it to you guys? Why not
someone else?”

“Because if anyone needs to know what’s going
on behind a false smile, it’s the God of War. Now, when I enter any
room I automatically do an aura scan. Nobody’s betrayed Asgard
without my seeing it coming in almost a hundred years.”

My eyes bulged. Sometimes I forgot how long
he’d been around.

“My age bothers you, doesn’t it?”

“No,” I lied. Tyr gave me a look. “Okay, a
little. It’s just weird to think my boyfriend’s so…”

“Good looking?”

I glared at him. “I was thinking
experienced
.”

“Nice spin.” He rolled his eyes.

“You’re reading my mind right now, aren’t
you?”

“I promised I wouldn’t. How about we make a
deal?” Tyr rubbed my hip with one hand, and held my wrists in the
other.

“What kind of a deal?”

“A two-part deal. There may come a time when
you’re in some kind of trouble. Most people who get close to me
ultimately are.”

“Tyr—”

“I can’t fix what’s happened, but I can fight
for you. Obviously Brynn, Henrik or I should always be looking out
for you. But if, Odin forbid, someone ever takes you away from us,
promise you’ll think my name as hard as you can. Scream it in your
head if you have to. I’ll hear you. And I’ll find you.”

I shivered. “I can do that. Now what’s the
second part of the deal?”

“I promise I won’t ever listen in on you. I
don’t want you feeling like you have to censor your thoughts around
me.”

“Done.” I kissed Tyr’s nose and his eyes
drooped. “You’re tired.”

“Exhausted,” he admitted. “Let’s go to
bed.”

Oh. My. Lord.

My whole body tensed. Who knew four words
could carry so much weight?
Let’s go to bed
. Did he want me
to share his bed? Or was I supposed to sleep in the guest room? A
few days ago I’d been ready to be with him for the first time, but
then he’d dropped the I’m-a-god bomb. What did I want now? Oh, who
was I kidding? I knew what I wanted. At least, I thought I did. Did
he want it too? Oh god, what if he didn’t?

“Brain out of the gutter,
prinsessa
.”
Tyr chuckled.

“You promised you wouldn’t read my mind!” I
howled.

“Didn’t have to. You should see your face.”
He grazed my chin with one finger. “Now, up to my room. We need to
sleep, and I can’t do that right now if you’re not in my arms. In
the morning I’ll take the ingredients to the dwarves. They should
have what they need to make the chain. Henrik and I can work on our
plan to catch Fenrir after that. But right now, I’m about to pass
out.”

Tyr punctuated his statement with a huge
yawn.

Stop over thinking everything, Ahlström.

“Okay.” We walked into the hallway hand in
hand. Tyr opened the mirror to check on the ingredients in the
vault.

“Everything’s there,” he confirmed, before
shutting the mirror and leading the way upstairs. He kept a firm
grip around my palm as he walked past the guest room, and into his
bedroom.

My heart thudded against my ribcage.

“Henrik’s not back with the rest of your
stuff yet. Here.” Tyr dug around in his dresser and pulled out a
pair of Redwoods sweats and a grey T-shirt. “These okay?”

“They’re perfect.” I eyed the open bathroom
door. “I’ll just go change in there.”

“Why?” Tyr mumbled, his shirt half over his
head. Eight exquisitely defined abdominal muscles framed by
obliques—actual, visible obliques—stared me down. They were
spectacular. The ribbed surface of his chest called to me, making
something stir deep inside. Blood drained from my face, and I
licked my bottom lip while Tyr pulled his shirt the rest of the way
over his head, then threw it next to the clothes hamper.
Typical
guy
. “Mia?”

“Hmm. What did you say?”

“I asked why you’d go change somewhere else.
You can just change here.” Tyr pulled off his pants. Now he stood
in front of me wearing nothing more than a pair of black
boxer-briefs. He had thick thighs that strained against the cotton
fabric, his muscles stretching down long legs. His underwear rested
low on his hips, and clung tightly to the contents underneath.

Oh hot bejeebus, the man was a god. In every
conceivable way.

“Stare as much as you want,
prinsessa
.
It’s all yours.”

My head snapped up and the blood returned to
my face in a rush.
Oh my god. This is mortifying
. “I wasn’t
staring at you. I just, erm…”

“Relax. I don’t mind. But now it’s your turn.
I showed you mine, you show me yours.” Tyr winked.

My hands clutched my makeshift pajamas as my
pulse pounded in my ears. Accepting Tyr as a god had been a
cakewalk compared to what I was about to do.

“
WHAT’S THE MATTER, BABY?
It’s not
like you’ve never been in your underwear in front of a guy before.”
Tyr crossed the room and gently tugged the pajamas out of my
hands.

“Actually, uh…” My cheeks positively
blazed.

Tyr held me at arm’s length as recognition
dawned. “Really?”