Personal Possessions (26 page)

“If you don’t mind, I’d
like to call Rachel to tell my kid’s goodnight, would you mind if
we met thirty minutes later?”

I didn’t have a problem
with that, walking into the suite, I set my briefcase down and slid
my shoes off. This had become my ritual, it made me feel that I was
grounded, settled. Not being able to be in your home makes you work
to acquire that feeling where ever you can.

“Like it?”

I asked as I Elle headed
over to the main wall of glass that overlooked the whole city of
Burlington. It was as if it was planted there straight from a
postcard. I never got tired of the scenic view, but her face was so
beautiful in the dim lighting of the room it made it even better.
Looking at her silhouette, mouth partially opened, eyes wide and
gazing, she was astonished at what she was seeing. So innocent, so
inexperienced.

“Amazing,” I heard her
soft voice proclaim.

I went to make sure that
our bags were placed in the rooms, and then made my way over to the
bar where Simon had ordered us a bottle of champagne. I popped the
cork, and poured two champagne flutes full of the Dom Perignon. She
wasn’t going to have to do anything, behind these four walls for
the next eight days other than beg me for what she wanted.
Me.

“Beautiful isn’t
it?”

Elle turned and took the
glass of champagne that I held in my hand.

“It’s
breathtaking.”

Elle’s words did not match
the look on her face. She looked almost…sad. I could see pain in
her eyes. Why, I couldn’t understand. She had everything, a family,
a home. What could be so bad that it would rip the light from what
used to be a girl who lived in her dreams and thrived to make them
a reality? I think the answer had to do with what was around her
wrists.

I had to clear my mind, I
wasn’t thinking about that right at this moment in time. I had Elle
in front of me, and a beautiful panoramic view right behind
her.

“It so peaceful, it’s like
no one has a care in the world.”

I heard Elle cough and
begin to stutter, “I better call the kids so I can get ready for
dinner, thank you for the champagne.”

I didn’t say a word. I
closed my eyes, yet again, another moment sabotaged. Was she that
frightened of me? I knew it wasn’t anger that held her back from
me. God knows, that if someone had the right to be pissed, I held
that right - not her.

I went to the bar and set
my drink down, deciding I wanted the heavy stuff. I shot the
whiskey back and poured another as I made my way over to the phone.
I needed to order dinner.

I called up room service,
attempting to place an order for what I thought Elle would eat. She
had a thing for salads and pastas seventeen years ago, shit knew
what she was up for now a days. Once I got all that taken care of,
I headed in for a shower myself.

The day had mentally
beaten down on me. I was worn out. Seeing those markings on Elle’s
wrists just about did me in. I couldn’t get the picture of Elle
pulling down the sleeves to her sweater, out of mind, almost as if
it was routine. She didn’t seem surprised when I noticed them the
other night or today, it was as if she thought if she didn’t
acknowledge it, it would go away. Well, that was where she was
wrong. Just because she wouldn’t speak of it, didn’t make it
nonexistent.

I shut off the water and
went to my room to get dressed. As I slipped on my sneakers, I
heard the doorbell ring. Room service, just in time. Heading out
front, I hadn’t seen Elle yet, so I figured she was still getting
dressed. The waiter placed everything where it was supposed to go
on the buffet.

While he was busy setting
up, I set the table and got the wine chilled. I noticed out of the
corner of my eye, Elle walking into the room. It was hard to take
my eyes from her. Pouring her a glass of wine, as she approached, I
handed it to her when she was within my reach.

“It’s been seventeen years
since I’ve had a meal with you, so I wasn’t quite sure what you
would be in the mood for.”

Clearing her throat she
replied, “I’m not too picky.”

“Please, have a
seat”

“Ummmm, I thought we were
going out.”

“
Never said we were going
out, as I recall, I think my words were - you have an hour to get
dressed, you’re having dinner with me. Dinner,” I smiled a wicked
smiled at her. “Plus, I kinda wanted to keep you to myself tonight,
maybe finish what we started the other day at lunch.”

Elle didn’t miss a beat,
quick on her remarks. “I think where we left off was treading
dangerous ground with getting too personal, Mr. McHale.”

I raised my eyebrow,
giving her a teasing glare, “Ms. Barker…”

Elle knew my meaning
behind the look, and the acknowledgement. I didn’t have to say a
word. Pouring myself a glass of wine, and pulling a chair up on the
side of her. I wanted to be close to her and her raspy throat was
the perfect excuse to sit right next to her.

She gave me this look,
visually asking me, “What the fuck do you think you are
doing?”

“I didn’t want to sit that
far away. Plus, I don’t want you to strain your voice any more than
you already have. Back to the question at hand, I don’t think you
can ever get too personal, Miss Barker. Now, What would you like to
eat?”

Elle picked up her glass
of wine and took a sip as her head flipped to the side to look over
the variety of food that was on display. She went to stand, and I
stopped her almost immediately. I wasn’t kidding when I said she
wasn’t lifting a finger.

“I asked you what you
would like to eat, Miss Barker. Nothing in that question imparted
to you to stand up and leave the table.”

Quietly, Elle sat back
down and bowed her head.

What. The.
Fuck
.

She looked as though she
was terrified of my response. She was in a compliant stance and
that was not like the Elleny I knew. She wouldn’t be scared, if she
didn’t like what I said, she would be up nose to nose with
me.

“
I’m sorry I thought I
would just help myself, I didn’t know there was a system to
this.”

I had to calm her down,
there was no way in hell I wanted her to feel as though she had to
obey me, knowing that Bear wasn’t home all that often and seeing
what he was doing while he was away, I figured that she doesn’t get
pampered all that much and I wanted her to see that she deserved to
be treated as what she was… precious, invaluable. I gently rubbed
my hand over hers, until she brought her eyes up to
mine.

“What would you like to
eat, Elle?”

“A bit of salad, a cup of
soup, a half of a sandwich and Jell-O, please.”

I nodded and got up to fix
her plate.

“
So, are you going to tell
me what the tattoos say?”

I had noticed that
underneath the markings, on the inside of her wrists, Elle had
tattoos, they were words but I couldn’t understand them, they were
written in a foreign language

“I wasn’t planning on
talking about them, no. All of my ink is very personal and means
something very sacred to me.”

“I could tell that the
ones on your wrists were in different languages. Why would you have
tattoos on your wrists if no one can read them?”

I popped a bite of my
steak in my mouth that I had pulled off of the piece I was planning
to take as she responded.

“Well the reason that I
have them in different languages is that again, they’re for me; no
one else.”

I laughed a small laugh.
She was not cooperating with me, not one bit. It was as if I was
going to have to torture her to open up to me.

“Miss Barker, you are
making this reunion a difficult if you’re not willing to
talk.”

I responded to her short
answer as I winked, setting a plate of food and a bowl of soup down
in front of her.

“
Thank you,
sir.”

She said as she let a
small smile break through. I was breaking through. This gave me
hope that I was not fighting a losing battle. I nodded once in
response.

“
So, are you
married…girlfriend?”

Elle was definitely
opening up, and what a question to start with.

“Now she wants to get
personal, as long as it’s her asking the questions huh?”

She let out a small laugh
and I almost closed my eyes to bask in the sound.

“I’m not married, had a
girlfriend but nothing serious. No kids… just me”

“
Oh sorry to hear
that”

Really, sorry…what did she
have to be sorry for? Oh…yeah…totally fucking up my
life.

“
Sorry…for what? I’m not
sorry. I told you Elle, nothing was permanent for me and as I
recall, I made a promise a long time ago that I planned on
keeping.”

Elle jerked alive when I
finished speaking. How could she have been caught off guard by
that, she was there…I had never held anything back from her when it
came to my feelings.

“You’re kidding
right?”

Now I was the one taken
back and surprised.

“
Did you think I was
kidding when I made that promise back then?”

“TJ, you were in second
grade. Why of course, I thought you were kidding. Besides, that’s
not even possible.”

Now I was intrigued with
her mindset, taking another bite I replied.

“
And why’s that
impossible?”

Elle grinned a small, fake
smile as she took a sip of her wine. I could tell she was getting
ready to disconnect again.

“
I’m not talking about
this.”

I laughed; I was falling
back in the rhythm of what were us…TJ and Elle.

“Oh yes you are, you
brought it up.”

Elle let her fork fall to
her plate, my head popped up from grabbing a fry. Here we go again,
I don’t know why she felt she had to be so dramatic.

“
Ok….fine I brought it up,
I’m ending it now…next subject.”

She picked her fork back
up and begin stabbing at her salad as though nothing was
wrong.

“Ok then, you want a
subject change? Why won’t you just admit you’re still in love with
me?”

“
It’s impossible, because
I’m already married. Polygamy is illegal.”

I tried to hide my
laughter, but this was the most amusing conversation I’ve had in a
while. She wanted to go back to the subject that she had just
thrown a tantrum to change…dramatic.

“Oh…so you want to go back
to that subject huh, this is getting interesting.”

She pursed her lips and
just stared at me a moment as though trying to think of a neutral
topic.

“So are we going to begin
tomorrow, can you give me a rundown on my day?”

“And here we go, back to
professionalism 101”

“Yes sir, this is what
this trip is about isn’t it?”

“It’s about a lot of
things, Elle”

“I’m sure it is….for you
maybe but I’m only interested in the office part of it.”

Finally, it’s beginning to
go somewhere, I thought to myself as I took a gulp of my wine,
Jesus…how rude would it be for me to get up and head over to that
bar and take a swig of that bottle of Jack.

I’d had enough. I was
going to lose my mind if we kept this up. I got up and leaned over
so that I could look at Elle’s face.

“What does the ink
represent, Elle”

No answer.

I grabbed a hold of her
hands and twisted her around for her to face me and I leaned in
close. We were so close, our noses were touching. I watched Elle
close her eyes as I rubbed my nose on each side of hers. Her breath
was coming fast through her lips that were parted. I could feel her
pulse on her wrist as it pounded. I looked down and turned her
hands over to look at the words written in calligraphy.

Seeing those bruises on
her wrists made me want to kill someone. I ran my thumbs over them,
they weren’t just bruises, they were indented, that meant that the
skin was soft and new, they not only had been bruised, there had
been abrasions. I closed my eyes. I wanted to bring them up to my
mouth and kiss them as though my lips would take it all away and
heal her instantly. Instead, I leaned closer and touched my lips to
hers.

“C-U-I-M-H-N-I-G-H”

I spelled out the letters.
Her lips felt like silk against mine, so smooth and warm. I
could’ve stayed in this position forever.

“What’s it say,
Elle?”

She tried her damnedest to
grab a breath so that she could respond, it took her a minute to
get the word out, but slowly, it came to her lips.

“
Remember.”

Elle breathed the
translation against my mouth. I breathed in as though I was taking
her inside of me. I pushed my tongue out to taste her lips as to
make sure this wasn’t another dream.

I remembered her little
dramatic rant a moment ago and thought maybe I’d see how much she
liked it if I just broke the moment, so just as fast as I touched
my tongue to her lip, I pulled back and sat up. I opened my eyes
and looked at her face, oh yeah…she did not like that. Her color
was already fuming red.