Phoenix Dead (New Adult Dark Romance) (The Vampire Years) (14 page)

I started to move away but he laid his arm across my lap, his hand fastening on my opposite hip. He pulled me back to him.

"If you think I was going to sneak out, why don't you just have a team follow me and catch him?"

"And put you in harm's way?"

I wasn't going to taunt him with a "like you'd care" kind of statement. I knew he cared. I turned so that I could look at his face.

"So what are you offering?"

My question was blunt and he cast his gaze down to some invisible point between our bodies.

"You said you needed the blood - that's why you went."

I leaned closer, my cheek near his but with enough distance between us that I could watch his expression from the corner of my eye. "I need more than the blood, Danny."

He started to move away but I placed my hands on his bare shoulders. The air conditioning had cooled his skin. I ran my fingers up to his throat, to the pulse that was beating like a war drum just beneath the surface.

I stood up from the bed and took my pajama top off. He was determined not to look at me; his gaze was somewhere just off to the side of my hip. I bent, pushing the pajama bottoms and my panties down. Returning to the bed, I crawled up onto his lap. I faced him, our chests lightly touching while my legs straddled his thighs.

He was as inflexible as the concrete blocks that formed the house and just as cold to the touch. I put my hands near his neck and let my thumbs gently caress his collar bone. I ran my lips against his temple. The motion raised my breasts, causing my hard nipples to move against his chest.

His hands flexed, gripping the bedspread a little tighter. That and his pulse were the only giveaways. He'd learned too much damn control on the job and at sniper school. I needed to feel more of his adrenaline, more of his need for me. I wanted to hear his breath escaping unevenly, feel the small jerks of anticipation as I ran my hands over his body.

I hugged him, a little too tight and desperate. My lips were to his ear. "I love you." It was a little sob, broken. I couldn't believe it was coming from me, but it was the truth. "I love you and I need you to give me that, too."

He put his hands on my hips and I knew the contact was only there to start the gentle process of pushing me away. I tightened my grip on him.

"It's the truth."

"Lee, you're a kid, you don't know -"

"What love is?" I interrupted. "Don't go there - I know what it isn't. It's not trading your daughter to a gang of bikers so they can chew on her flesh. It isn't telling your step-daughter she's brilliant and beautiful almost every morning and a dumb ugly cunt every night so that maybe she'll finally relent and let you fuck her. It isn't kidnapping your niece off the playground in third grade and taking her back to a drunk mother and her pedophile husband. It's not being afraid of who is going to come into your room at night, a staggering, accusing woman with a lit cigarette or..."

I stopped and managed to push the image of Paul from my mind. I relaxed my hold on Danny enough to give him a hard, pissed shake. "I know exactly what love doesn't look like. I know what it doesn't feel like." I shook him again. "And this isn't like any of that. So don't give me this 'kid' bullshit. I've been taking care of adults for a long fucking time. That distinction means nothing!"

I slapped him, then. It was that or release the blood tears that were swelling. I hit him hard, too. Not hard for a girl or for a man.

Vampire hard.

His head whipped to the side and the print of my palm rose instantly against his skin. It took him a second to recover from the shock but then he trapped my hand. His breathing picked up, at last. His grip on my wrist and hip tightened.

"I..." He stopped, tried to even his tone out. "I didn't mean to negate your feelings, Lee."

"No? Well, I meant to slap you." I watched another wave of surprise wash over his face, the outline of my palm still stark against his brown skin. "Because you don't get my tears."

I moved to pull my wrist from his grip but he stopped me with a simple, heart-rending question.

"Does Oscar?"

It was true, I had cried in front of Oscar, but those had been human tears caused by fear and helplessness. I might still be afraid, I might still need help, but those "little girl tears" were gone.

"Not these tears." I closed my eyes, my vision already tinting red. "Not these."

His hands relaxed. "Lee, baby."

Another little strangled noise escaped me, like a hamster squeezed in a child's fist. I pressed my lips against his forehead, freed my hand to rest it against his injured cheek. "I'm sorry."

"Shhh..." His arms circled my waist. He pressed his palm along the center of my back.

His touch was light, barely pressing on my spine, but I arched in response. I spread my legs a little wider, the weight of my lower torso shifting forward so that my mound was against his stomach and my breasts were thrusting up, close to his face.

I cupped my breasts, squeezing them as I steadily pushed my mound against his stomach. I tilted my head, my hair falling around his shoulder as I kissed his ear and whispered "Please."

When I felt the shake in his body, I lifted myself higher, so that my breasts were closer to his face. Danny took a nipple in his mouth, slowly and softly teasing the flesh. Lips and tongue, pulling, licking. I shuddered, felt the escape of my juices as my pussy contracted with need. He moaned, the sound vibrating against the nipple. I lifted the last small distance so that I could push more of my breast into his mouth as I opened the space between my cunt and his body.

His hand immediately filled the gap, his fingers testing my wetness. Two slid into me hard and fast and I squeezed against them, the resistance offered by my muscles disguising the tearing of my maidenhead. With his fingers in me and his thumb resting against my clit, I started a little grinding dance.

I tilted my head back, my eyesight glazing as his fingers pushed deeper into me. It was so good between us, even if it was a fight to bring him to me each time.

I ran my nails lightly along his back and then smoothed my palms over the skin. My hip movements became more frantic and I was giving little panting moans and whimpers as he brought me closer to coming.

My juices ran onto his hand, warm and slick and he pushed a third finger into me. I bucked, squeezed and begged him to keep stroking me. The base knuckles where hitting the outer flesh of my cunt, making the tissue swell. I was desperately close to coming and I wanted him in me when it happened. I dropped my hands to his belt buckle.

"Lee."

This time I shushed him.

I took his cock out, warred with his hand and fingers until he finally withdrew them from me. Crying, kissing him, I sank all the way down onto his shaft. He was swollen hard and big but he'd made me ready. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, buried my face against his throat as I murmured, "That's good, baby, that's good. Please stay with me."

Danny hugged me back, cinching our bodies tight. His cock was deep inside me, my flesh bruised and swollen. I knew the bruises wouldn't last but a few minutes beyond the fucking, but the pleasure would play over and over along my flesh as I remembered this moment.

We rocked together - one body, eight limbs. He leaned back on his arms so that he could raise his hips off the mattress and thrust into me. My climax already triggered and not yet abating, my pussy contracted madly around the perfect swell of his erection.

I nuzzled his neck and he shifted, giving me access to the vein beneath. I bit down, blood filling my mouth. His cock jerked inside me. I felt the ripple of cum run through it and into me. He was in me uncovered and a shiver ran over me at the realization. He'd let go of his barriers, his last bit of protection against me.

I kissed the wound at his neck, gently licked it until the skin started to heal. It wouldn't heal completely - just enough to stop the bleeding and hide the deeper puncture wound. I'd learned that trick from the second infusion of Oscar's blood.

The skin beneath my tongue and hands quivered as I licked him. I gave another lick and felt a second ripple of his flesh. He moaned and I tightened around him, deepening his penetration inside me.

I put my palms against his chest and pushed until he was flat on his back and then I slid from the bed. His socks and shoes were already off. I coaxed him into lifting his hips again and then I pulled his pants and briefs from him. On my way back onto the mattress, I stopped to nuzzle his balls, the softening cock. He was wet with sweat and a mix of our cum and I sucked the flavors from his skin.

Already I wanted him back in me but he was exhausted, shaky from the feeding and rush of adrenaline. I lifted his legs onto the bed, turning and lifting his body until we were stretched out against one another. I covered us and brought my finger to his throat, feeling his pulse to make sure he was okay and I hadn't taken too much.

He took my hand, brought it to his lips and kissed the back of my knuckles. I blinked, sated and sleepy. I dipped into sleep for a second, came up nodding to find his eyes open, watching me. I cupped his face. "Remember what it feels like, to hold me, to be inside me, to have me crying your name because of how good it feels - because it's you making me feel that way."

Danny looked away and closed his eyes.

The gesture was clear. He was already trying to forget.

***

It had only been two weeks between Oscar's rich blood and Friday night's feeding from Danny. Oscar, like a fat tick, had given me far more than Danny could afford. But I'd been starving with Oscar - the second feeding with Danny, on the other hand, left me drunk on blood through the weekend and into the school week.

Everything seemed sharper, easier. I felt like Wonder Woman without her lasso of truth and invisible plane. I didn't need them! I could read the truth in blood and, as for flying...

Chris put his hand on my shoulder. "Earth to Lee, you want to sit down?"

I looked at his hand, then his face, then the other students in seventh hour. I blushed, I'm sure, and primly sat down hoping I hadn't been talking out loud. Chris was no longer looking at me and I could see by the set of his mouth that he thought he knew why I was over the moon. But he was wrong, mostly. Danny and I had returned to the same old tap dance routine the morning after. But it wasn't like I could tell Chris that during class.

When the bell rang, Chris made some excuse about having to go to the counselor's office and I went out the front door alone. Surprise flashed across Danny's face but was just as quickly suppressed. I slid into the car, buckled up and reclined my seat so that I was staring up at the ceiling. I knew I couldn't deal with looking at Danny's stone-faced response to my coming out of the building alone.

I did sit up and look at him when he didn't turn into his subdivision. We were heading toward the expressway.

"Where are we going?"

"The ball is special dress." He kept his eyes on the traffic as he answered.

"Freak attire is optional." I waved my hand dismissively. Not that I thought the clothes weren't cool, but I was looking for any chance to be sarcastic with him. And I didn't want him buying me anything else. Pretty clothes were a sorry stand in for the only thing I wanted from him.

We merged onto the expressway, the traffic still light. It would be hell on the way back if we were heading for the mall. "So, a parting gift, huh?"

He didn't say anything.

I twisted in my seat until I was looking directly at him. "I don't know if I'm going anyway." I waited for him to ask why but he didn't. "I mean, Chris might not take me and I don't plan on going stag."

"Chris will take you."

I shook my head even though he was carefully keeping his attention focused on the traffic so he wouldn't have to look at me. "I mean, this is weird for Chris, too."

"He'll take you."

"You don't know," I shot back. "What makes you say that?"

"I would...if I were Chris."

But he wasn't. He wasn't eighteen, or anywhere close enough to that age to feel comfortable with having me as a lover. And so the conversation ended, replaced by inquiries as to which shops would have what I needed for the ball.

It took four stores to complete the outfit. At the first, I found a dark red and black velvet jacket in a paisley pattern, its edges trimmed in black satin ribbon. Nothing at the store worked underneath the jacket, though, so I went into the lingerie store and found a black lace camisole and a sheer black demi-cup bra to go underneath.

I left the dressing room with the jacket over the cami top to get Danny's opinion. He gave me half a glance, his cheeks flushing before he looked away.

"Maybe a gaucho skirt for the bottom half," was all he offered.

Two hours later we had the skirt pants in a lightweight black velvet and matching velvet boots, with low heels so I wouldn't embarrass myself too badly trying to dance.

Assuming I still had a date, which was pretty unlikely given the look on Chris's face as he had left seventh period.

I hate feeling sorry for myself - I really do. Growing up, it wasn't permitted. Tears, no matter the genuine cause for them, meant I was a cry baby. I had internalized the mocking - even if it didn't sound like my step-father Paul in my head, the words and venom were his.