Pick Me (13 page)

Now if she could only keep their evening together the same.

Barefoot and still in her nightclothes, she walked across the lawn to Calder’s condo with the note, tacked it to his door and dashed back inside before she could change her mind.

* * *

Even as he changed out of his scrubs and showered off the stress and fatigue of his shift, letting the stream of hot water needle his skin back to life, Calder still wasn’t sure what to do about the offer from Warner. What’s more, he wasn’t sure if he should even tell anyone about it. Pete, Marie…Thea.

Thea. A part of him was curious what she might do to think he’d leave Magnolia Bay—what her expression might reveal even if her words didn’t. As it was, they were only going to be neighbors for another week—then they’d be further apart. A long distance in comparison to being next door, though not nearly as long a distance as they’d be if he moved to San Francisco.

Maybe he should tell her about the phone call, he thought as he dressed in jeans and a dark green polo. Why not?

But maybe not right away, he decided, stepping out into the soft evening air. He’d been looking forward to picking up where they’d left off too much to spring that on her too soon and risk ruining the mood, risk not getting to taste those lips again, or get a good, long look at the body beneath the clothes, the body—the woman—he’d wanted for years.

Yeah, he thought, reaching up to knock on her door. Later he’d tell her. Much later.

* * *

“Hi.”

As soon as she opened the door, Thea knew this grand experiment wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d thought.

Seeing him standing there, her heart somersaulted. His eyes looked like twin emeralds against the deep green of his shirt.

“Hi,” he said back, leaning in to drop a kiss on her lips. “Something smells great.”

God, he wasn’t kidding. He’d swooped in just as she’d drawn in a quick breath and swallowed a heady whiff of warm soap and musk aftershave.

“I brought wine.” He set it down. “I probably should have opened it before I came, though. Otherwise, I’m not sure how we’ll make it to dinner.”

She forced herself to move further down the counter to retrieve a pair of glasses. Now she knew how magnets felt. Standing next to him, her body wanted to be against him. Whatever space, whatever air was between them, she wanted to be rid of it, so that they were skin to skin.

Oh God, this was a bad idea. What had she been thinking? That Dennis’ proposal was going to act like a light switch, that’s what. That turning off her attraction to Calder was that easy. Alone with him now seemed suddenly dangerous, foolish. Why had she lit a match she knew damn well she wouldn’t be able to extinguish?

She closed her eyes, like her attraction were a spell of dizziness that she had to wait to pass.

“You okay?” Calder asked.

“Fine,” she lied. “Just hungry, I guess.”

“If you tell me where the corkscrew is, I’ll open up this bottle.”

“It’s in that farthest drawer.”

By the time she remembered where she’d stashed the ring, it was too late. Calder had already tugged open the drawer and was looking right at it.

Thea wanted to hide under the sink.

Calder picked up the box and set it on the counter. “I’m guessing that didn’t come out of a gumball machine,” he said.

She bit her lip, feeling the heat of regret soak her cheeks. “I was going to tell you. It just happened yesterday. I didn’t say yes.”

“You didn’t say no, either.”

Willa’s words raced back. Thea frowned to quiet them, wondering as she watched Calder if he were thinking the same thing.

What
was
he thinking?

She walked toward him slowly. “I told Dennis I had to think about it.”

“I’m sure you do. I certainly would if I were in your shoes.”

“It’s just…” She shrugged weakly, folded and unfolded her arms. “Everything happened so fast.”

He pointed to the box. “That—or us?”

She searched his eyes, not sure she knew which she’d meant either.

“I told you, I haven’t said yes.”

“But you think you should.”

Why did he have to put it that way? Like Dennis’ proposal was a job offer, a promotion. Didn’t he know how confused she already was?

She felt her cheeks burn hot again, this time with irritation and a rush of other frustrations she couldn’t place. She marched to the other side of the kitchen and glared at the cooling lasagna. “Why does everyone seem to think they know what I want all of a sudden?”

“Maybe because you don’t seem like you do,” Calder said flatly.

She spun around to face him. If he was trying to piss her off, he was doing a damn good job of it. “What is that supposed to mean?” she demanded.

He squinted at her. “I’m not quite sure what you want me to say here, Thea. Do you want me to congratulate you or change your mind?”

Her heart fell. She stared down at the pattern of tiles beneath her bare feet, despondent. Why couldn’t he just tell her she was crazy to think that their few days together and some teenage fantasy were worth chucking three years with someone else?

“I want you to congratulate me,” she said.

“Then congratulations.” There was an edge to his voice.

She lifted her lowered eyes to meet his, knowing that doing so would render the protective berth she’d made between them useless.

She was right. Looking into his eyes, she might as well have slipped into his arms. She felt naked, utterly vulnerable.

How could it be that someone she’d only known, really known, for a few days could turn her inside out this way?

“Actually,” Calder said, “I have some news, too.”

Thea felt a jolt of dread, a knot. She watched him expectantly. “Oh?”

“I got an offer for a job out in San Francisco.”

“San Francisco?” She swallowed, stunned. “Wow, that’s…that’s great.”

“Yeah, it is,” he said. “It’s the kind of job I could wait my whole career for.”

“Then you’ll take it?” she asked, wondering why it was suddenly so hard for her to catch her breath. Had the AC gone off? Her skin felt damp, feverish.

He nodded. “I’m thinking I should. It’s a lot of things. Not just because of…” He glanced at the ring box, letting his words trail off. He leaned his hip against the counter. “I mean, it’s not like we made any promises to each other, right?”

“No,” she said, trying to match his light tone, even as her ribcage tightened.

“And as you saw the other night,” he continued, “I’m not exactly helping to bring the family together in their time of need the way I’d hoped.”

Surely he didn’t believe that? She’d seen how tender and patient he was with his father. Despite his brother’s rough edges. Surely Calder knew how much of a help he was?

Or maybe it was just an excuse so he could leave without guilt.

What difference did it make, Thea thought, turning back for the empty glasses. He’d obviously made his decision.

Maybe it was time to make hers.

“You’ll leave soon, then?” she asked.

“Soon as I can, probably.”

“Before dinner?” Thea looked away, instantly regretting the comment, as well as the speed and sharpness with which it had left her mouth.

Calder pushed off the counter. “Maybe we both needed a little dose of reality. Maybe fantasies are fantasies for a reason.”

She searched his eyes, startled at his words, more so at how unexpectedly they hurt.

Did he really believe that?

Of course he did. Because it was true.

At least one of them had the good sense to act the adults they were.

“Maybe so,” she agreed coolly “San Francisco is lucky to have you.”

He smiled. “Thanks. I could say the same thing about your fiancé.”

Now she really needed him to go. She started for the door, hoping he’d follow but his hand came around her arm, slowing her.

“Thea, if this is what you want, I really am happy for you.”

“It is,” she said, then again. “It absolutely is.”

But still she couldn’t look him in the eye as he walked past her for the door and left.

Chapter Twelve

Well,
that was that.

Calder did his best to force a smile as he worked his shift at the Urgent Care the next day, but beneath the phony cheer, his heart remained heavy, just as it had been when he’d left Thea’s condo the night before. He had never been one for signs but if he were, it would be hard not to say this one was neon and blinding.

All signs pointed to him taking this job in San Francisco.

All the contention with Pete, the feeling Calder couldn’t shake that his coming home to the Bay had caused more problems than it had solved. If Pete refused to see what was right in front of him, what could Calder do?

But Thea,
engaged
? Jesus, he hadn’t seen that one coming. The other night, out at Awendaw, under the stars, she’d seemed a million miles away from her ex-, so ready to search out a new phase in her life, maybe even make new choices—and then when he’d gone back to her condo and they’d practically burned each other’s clothes off they’d generated so much heat…

When he pulled into his driveway, he gave a quick glance at her condo and saw her car in the opened garage. A flicker of envy charged up his throat as he climbed off his bike and tugged off his helmet, wondering if her ex—correction, fiancé—would come over or whether she’d spend the night at his place. Not that it made any difference to him. Frankly, he should have been grateful to the guy. He’d spared Calder being the one who had to break things off, which he would have had to do eventually when he left for San Francisco. And anyway, despite their shared history, he and Thea Dunn were strangers.

A run. That would put him right. As tired as he was, he knew a hard run around the bay would help clear his head. But there was something else he needed to do first.

He swept up his cell and put in a call to the farm.

Marie answered. “Hi there.”

“Hey. I was just thinking about everyone. How is he today?”

“Which
he
are you referring to?”

Calder could hear the small smile in her voice. “Touché.”

“Your father slept most of the day. He wanted to go pick but Pete managed to discourage him in time. Forecast says we’re supposed to have perfect weather for the Strawberry Festival so that’s good news.”

Good news, right. Calder walked to the deck sliders and looked out at the bay, deciding he’d stalled the reason for his call long enough. “Is Pete around?”

“Sure, I’ll get him.”

A few moments later, Pete picked up. “I wondered when the Good Doctor was going to check in today.”

“Jesus, Pete—do you think you and I can have one conversation that doesn’t start with a version of ‘What do you want, asshole?’”

“Pop’s fine, okay? No emergencies, no panics. We’re good. Anything else?”

“As a matter of fact, there is something I wanted to talk to you about.” Calder leaned his arm on the slider’s cool glass, then laid his forehead against his arm. “I got a call from a hospital in San Francisco. They offered me a job—a great job—and I think I should take it. Maybe it’s best if I get out of your hair here. I thought it would help to have me back here, but obviously it’s only making things worse for everyone.”

Calder waited for his brother’s response, but the phone was silent.

“Pete, are you still there?”

A tired snicker was his answer, then his brother’s voice: “God, you’re amazing, you know that?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You want me to think you’re making some big sacrifice by leaving. You want to look like the good guy. ‘Get out of everyone’s hair.’ What a load of horseshit. We both know leaving’s what you do best.”

Calder dropped his head back against his arm—he couldn’t win! “So if I stay, I’m an asshole. If I leave, I’m an asshole. Which is it, Pete? Make up your goddamned mind already.”

“I made up my mind,” Pete shot back. “The day I called to ask you to come home and help with Mom and you went off to Haiti instead.”

Before Calder could respond, Pete hung up. Calder stared at the phone for a long moment then tossed it onto the couch. Maybe that was the final push he needed. He tore off his scrubs, pulled on a pair of running shorts and sneakers, and took off from the deck, snaking through the grass to his favorite trail. An hour later, he returned, sweaty and ravenous. He reheated a couple slices of mushroom pizza and ate them standing at the sink, washing them down with a beer, and trying his damnedest not to care when he heard the tell-tale growl of a Range Rover pulling into Thea Dunn’s driveway.

* * *

Thea should have known Dennis would be early. He was always early. For their first date, he’d told her seven o’clock and proceeded to arrive at six-fifteen before she’d even had a chance to shower. He’d waited patiently in her living room, but she’d felt badly and hurried to dress and ended up streaking mascara through her eyebrow in her rush.