Pistol Fanny's Hank & Delilah (33 page)

She shrugged. Then she wrapped her arms around him tightly, inhaling him. Before he could hold on to her, she was in the waiting car, and then she was gone. He watched as the red lights faded down the highway, disappearing into the moonless night.

He toyed with the paper in his hands. Finally, after a few minutes, he opened the letter.

I’m bluer than blue. I’m not sure I’m going to know what to do without you. I love you more than the air that I breathe. You’re my once-in-a-lifetime partner, my shot-gun rider. You’re my Honey Hole. Please show me something I don’t know. Look in your pocket.

Yours for Always and Forever,

Pistollette

Hank felt in his pocket. There was a pack of matches tucked inside. She had written the note. She was daring him again. Although she was gone, Hank knew that if he didn’t destroy the evidence, she would know. He smelled the paper and then set it on fire. Nothing but ashes left to blow away in the wind after it was through burning.

A
fter arriving back in Tupelo, the first thing Hank did was call Delilah. He couldn’t stop thinking of her, couldn’t stop dreaming of her. He was feeling sick again. He was sick of being away from her, sick of missing her to the point of insanity. He was sick of being avoided. All out of ideas, he called the house in Magnolia Springs.

“Pepsi,” Hank yelled. “God Almighty, Pepsi! It’s so good to hear your voice.”

She laughed. “It’s me all right. But by the sounds of you, you’d think I was Ed McMahon and I was delivering that one million dollar check.”

“You’re better than a million bucks.”

“I’ve waited all my life for a man to tell me that. And here you come, half my age and insane, and I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole.” She laughed again. “Why are you doing this to yourself, baby? You know she won’t talk to you.”

“I know, but I have to try. I really miss her, Pepsi. Where is she? I’ve got to see her. I just need to talk to her.”

There was a long sigh. “Hold on a second, baby.” The phone sounded like it was being rubbed against a soft surface, and then Pepsi’s voice. “Dear Lord, I can’t believe I’m doing this. Oh, sweet Jesus, please forgive me ahead of time. That girl done got me all hemmed up in her love troubles. I’ve premeditated this sin. Na’, you know I don’t usually do this, but…if you’re unhappy with me, even though I’m apologizing now instead of after, I’m sure you’ll let me know soon. Oh, sweet Jesus.”

A deep breath blew against the receiver. “Hank, you still there, baby? Oh, you are. I was hoping you hung up. Wishful thinking, I guess. It’s not you. It’s me. Oh shoot, I didn’t mean to say that. Isn’t that what all the young kids say these days? Wait, I need to collect myself. No, I have this. I hate having to tell you this, but…Delilah is getting married.”

Hank’s heart went cold and his body went slack. Someone had stolen all that air from him that he needed to breathe. He fell to his knees. “What?”

“Yeah, I’m real sorry, baby. She’s getting married. She hopes you’ll understand…oh, will you look at the time? I have to get going. My Pabst beer girls are on their way over…”

“Pepsi, please…who is she marrying? That man at the bar? The one with the black hair?”

“Doc Houston?” There was a short pause. “Yeah,
mmmhmm
, that’d be him.”

“When?” Hank had to push the word out. He felt like a fish out of water.

“Real soon, Hank.
Mmmhmm,
real soon.” Silence. “Hank? Hank? Are you still there? Oh, Hank! Sweet Jesus! Hank, you still on the line?”

Pepsi stood on the line, calling for Hank, until her line went dead. Hank was already on his way to Alabama.

As Hank, Curly, Dylan, Tommy, Stroke, and Jesse pulled up the long drive in Magnolia Springs, the house was aglow. The windows seemed butter yellow, the outside air halogen. The wind blew sharp and the trees swayed. Hank could smell a fireplace burning, could see those Pabst blue ribbon girls moving about the house. Music drifted to the sway of the night. “If I were your woman…and you were my man…”

The guys trudged their way to the door, through the thick Alabama clay mud, and as they made their way up to the door, they heard someone scream “Yahtzee!” Freud was waiting, his nose pressed against the screen, wagging his tail, baying.

Hank noticed there was an easel on the porch. A sheet of paper clasped to it rustled in the wind. Next to it on the ground sat an old tin can filled with brushes; a handkerchief draping the side was stained with paint. Pepsi appeared from the darkened shadows. She narrowed her eyes when she saw Hank.

“What you doing here, baby? I just knew it when you hung up on me. I said to myself, ‘Pepsi, that boy is going to come here, you know he is.’ And here you are.”

Hank took a deep breath of cool air. He leaned his head against the wooden doorframe and shut his eyes. “Please don’t send me away.”

“Sweet Jesus.” Pepsi opened the screen door and it creaked. “Come on in. Come on, na’. Just don’t stand around. We got plenty of food. I fried soft shell crabs, catfish, okra, and a few tomatoes. My friend, Ginger Gnat, she boiled some shrimp. We have cold beers and hot coffee too.”

“Pepsi, this is my little brother, Curly. And these are my friends…” Hank introduced them all. “Boys, this is Ms. Pepsi. She’s Delilah’s best friend.”

Pepsi hugged them all, welcomed them in. They all filed in the door, Hank coming up last. Pepsi pointed toward the kitchen, said her Pabst girls would be in there to meet them. She stopped Hank at the door with a hand on the chest, and then she pointed to the rocking chairs on the porch.

“I’ll be right back. Have a seat.” Her eyes held his, stern but with compassion. When he hesitated, she nodded. “I’ll be right back. I swear it.”

Hank followed her orders and took a seat outside. Freud rested right next to him. Hank rocked back and forth, opening and closing his hands constantly. Chewing constantly. Pepsi came back carrying a tray of milk and those coconut cookies she had made for Delilah.

She placed the tray between them and then took a seat next to him. She rocked a bit before she wrapped the thin sweater around her body. Pepsi watched him with worried eyes. Then she cleared her throat.

“Here are the rules, Hank. We can have our little chat. ’Cause you sure look like you deserve one and you need one. But, you and your friends, you stay here with me tonight. Come morning, you can go about your business. And you, you have to eat something. Eat something and get a good night’s sleep. If you can do that for me, we’ll talk. I can’t stand to see you this way, and I can’t send you on your way without knowing you haven’t had a little of each. It’d be a sin if I did. And I ain’t no angel, but I don’t purposely try to join the devils chorus. Do we understand each other?”

“Perfectly,” Hank said. Then he stood, pacing the floor. “She can’t go through with this, Pepsi. She just can’t. You and I both know it’s a mistake. I’m the only one who can love her like she is supposed to be loved. How she deserves to be loved. I don’t understand—” Hank pulled at his hair “—why she’s doing this! Oh, hell no. She can’t marry him. I think I might…I just might…”

“Come sit next to me, baby.” Pepsi patted the rocker next to her. “It won’t do you a lick of good to waste your energy on worrying or being angry. Easier said than done, I know. But if we’re going to talk, then you need to just try to relax yourself. The world is your front porch here; take advantage for a while.”

Hank hesitated but sat back down.

“Good, that’s real good.” She sighed. “Boy, I know you have common sense, but for the life of me I can’t understand what you’re doing with it. But you know what Hennessey always says? He says, sometimes sense is just that, cents. You know, like pennies in your pocket. And how often do people disregard coins, you know? They even vacuum them up, like if they have no value whatsoever. I know he’s crazier than a loon, but you have to give him credit, he’s about the only man that has survived them this long. He knows what he’s talking about.” She smiled. “You want me to tell you about Delilah Mae? When she was just a baby girl?”

Hank nodded. “Yes, ma’am. That’d be real nice.”

“Ah.” She slapped the air. “What a little beauty she was. Still is, as you’re well aware. She had the most beautiful auburn hair, peachy porcelain skin, and those eyes. Those eyes! She was something, I’ll tell you that much. Just one of those children you knew was destined for big things. It was something about her. She had that spark that people always go on about. She had it since the moment she opened those eyes. She’d walk into the room and the air would be sucked straight out of it. People would have to look at her to catch their breath back, like she stole it right from underneath their noses. She can still do that to this day. Walk into a room, and whoosh, all the air drains. Then she smiles, and it comes back again.

“She had that vibrancy to her, that forever-young spirit that captures so many. But she was also one of those children who had an ancient soul. You know those little people who you talk to for just a moment and you think, Sweet Jesus, that ain’t no child, that’s an ancient person in a new little body? That was Delilah. She’s always been a deep thinker—”

“Always so fierce, I bet.” Hank pressed his thumb over his palm, over and over, trying to calm himself down. It was a waste to even try, he knew, but if he was going to sit through this, he had to try something.

Pepsi shook her head. “No, baby. Not at all.”

Hank looked up at her then. The tone of her voice alarmed him. It was soft, but there was an urgent undertone to it that made the hairs on his arms rise and a prickle run down his back.

“You’d have never met a more timid child in your life than Delilah Mae. She was afraid of her own shadow. I’d sometimes have sleepovers at my place, and she’d come over and my children were always asleep at a certain time. But like I told you before, Delilah always had her days and nights mixed up. And I’d stay up late some nights, listening to my radio, and I wouldn’t even hear her coming. Next thing I know, she’d be standing right beside me. A real thoughtful look on her face, but her lip would tremble sometime. Her little lips turned downward. She’d put her little hand on my arm and I could just feel the fear coming from her.

“I’d say, ‘Delilah Mae, what’s wrong, baby girl?’ And she’d say, ‘I’m scared.’ And I’d say, ‘Scared of what, baby girl?’ And she would just shrug those baby shoulders, not even knowing what she was afraid of. I’d tell her when we were afraid, we’d have to call on Sweet Jesus, just give it all to him. I’d tell her that if you gave him all your fears, you’d have nothing to be afraid of. It would work some nights. Some nights, I’d have to rock her to sleep. Oh, but I love that child like she’s my own. I miss that little girl, I truly do.” She smiled again. “You want to know why I was shocked the night I met you?”

“That’d be nice.” Hank pushed his legs back and forth, trying to balance the need to know more, but also to do something—stop her.

“You know our little Delilah Mae, she ain’t no saint. She’s an angel, perhaps, but no saint. And even though she’s had relations with men at the bar, maybe even at her place in Nashville, she’s never brought a man here to her sanctuary. The day she met you, she called me up and said, ‘My Shuger’—she calls me Shuger sometimes—‘My Shuger, I met a man and I’m terrified of him.’ I laughed, thinkin’ she was pulling my leg. She was serious as a heart attack. I said to her, ‘Na’, baby, why would you be so afraid of a man?’ And you know what she told me?”

Pepsi waited for Hank to ask “what” before she continued.

“She said, ‘It was like he had a fully loaded gun to my heart, and for the first time, in a very long time, I felt it beating again.’ The beating of her own heart frightened her. Can you believe that? Like I said, I miss that baby girl sometimes. I miss the innocence in her expressions. I miss that for her.”

Hank stopped rocking and leaned over his legs. “Ms. Pepsi Shuger, you know you’re the only one who never pushed me to ask her if she was Pistollette or not? The only damn person in my life who never thought I was crazy for not asking.”

“Na’, I didn’t say that.” She laughed and slapped at his arm. “No, but I guess I didn’t.”