Pitch Black: A Romantic Thriller (Blackwood Security Book 1) (19 page)

“I need you inside me.” I was never one to mince my words. Often that got me in trouble, but tonight it came up trumps.

Luke snatched a condom from his nightstand. I ripped it open with my teeth and rolled it on. Look, no hands.

He groaned. “That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Practice makes perfect.”

“Shut up. I don’t even want to think about you doing that with another man.”

Luke didn’t hang around. He rolled me over and thrust himself inside so quickly I banged my head on the headboard.

“Sorry.” He winced more than I did.

“Don’t apologise. Just bloody get on with it.”

And he did. Oh boy, did he. It was only afterwards I thought to ask, “How close are your neighbours?” I’d never bothered to look past the tree line—slacking on my time away.

“Far enough, thank goodness. Otherwise the police would be on their way with the amount you were screaming.”

I bit my lip. “Sorry. Just got a bit carried away.”

“Don’t apologise. It made me feel like a man.”

“You’ll be going to hunt dinner, next.” Probably at Waitrose.

“Oh come on, admit it. I was fantastic.”

“You were…okay.” I couldn’t help grinning.

We stared at each other then burst out laughing.

All right, so I was understating things. Fantastic didn’t do him justice, and lying there in bed beside him, the corners of the jigsaw puzzle that made up my soul slotted into place. I was far from whole again, but I felt…something. Something other than the empty numbness I’d had inside for the last few months.

I was no angel, but the men in my life had been few, at least in that way. They’d varied from friends with benefits, to kind and gentle, to a brief foray over to the dark side during a phase when I didn’t like myself much. It was a long while since I’d had sweet.

Instead of falling into my habit of leaving straight away, I snuggled into Luke’s arms. His strength seeped into me and held my demons at bay. I could have stayed for hours but inevitably my eyes started to close.

“Luke, I can’t stay here.” Even if for the first time in years I wanted to.

“If it’s about the sleepwalking thing, I don’t mind.” He brushed it off as a triviality, but he’d never met the vicious monster I became on my worst nights.

“But I mind. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m a big guy. I can look after myself.”

Guilt gnawed at me as I shook my head. “Please don’t do this.” The pleading tone in my voice was rarely heard.

“It can’t be that bad.”

Oh, it could. Think a trip to hospital if he was lucky, the morgue if he wasn’t. “Not tonight, okay?”

Far from happy, he grudgingly nodded. I leaned in and kissed him, an apology for being unable to give him what we both wanted.

“Are you up for round two before you go?” he asked.

“That sounds like a plan.” I giggled as he rolled me over. What the hell? I sounded like a vapid idiot. Had I lost my mind?

No, but I did when Luke kissed me again.

The sun hovered above the trees when I woke the next morning. The clock on the guest-room wall showed I’d slept for eight hours.

Holy hell, I was late for work!

I had a foot out of bed when I remembered I didn’t have a job any more, at least not at the stables. Ah well, I had a bed and a duvet. At the moment, they seemed the better option but I couldn’t succumb to the temptation. Had Luke overslept too?

I dashed through to his bedroom—empty. The smell of bacon wafted past me, making my mouth water. I threw on a robe I found on the back of the bathroom door then found Luke downstairs at the breakfast bar, drinking coffee while he scrolled through emails on his phone.

“Aren’t you late?”

“I’m taking the day off.”

“Seriously? I thought you never took time off.”

“A couple of weeks ago, I wouldn’t have dreamed of it. But you made me realise there’s more to life than making money.” He gave me a lopsided grin. “Especially when I don’t enjoy it.”

“Bravo. So you’re up for another go?” I eyed up his sandwich. “Well, after breakfast?”

“You want one?”

I nodded.

“I’m always up for you.” He paused to kiss me on his way to the stove. “Apart from an hour this morning—I’ve got a conference call at ten.”

The backdoor opened and a pleasantly plump woman in her fifties bustled in. She did a double take when she saw me.

“Nora, this is Ash. She’ll be staying here for…well, I’m not sure.”

She pushed a few stray strands of grey hair back into her bun. She was fighting a losing battle there. “Pleased to meet you, ma’am.”

For crying out loud, don’t call me that. I wasn’t a bloody relic. “Ash is fine. It’s good to meet you too.”

Her eyes widened as she took in the destruction behind me. Tia had thrown eggs at the wall and swept a pile of plates off the counter.

“Didn’t the burglar alarm work?”

“It was Tia,” Luke said.

Nora’s lack of surprise said a lot about his sister’s character. “That girl’ll be the death of everyone,” she muttered. “I’ll get the bin bags.”

Despite Nora’s protests, I lent a hand with the clean-up. By the time Luke finished his call, the house looked presentable other than the black scribbles on the dining room wall. That needed to be repainted.

“I’ll make soup for lunch,” Nora said. “We could do with a filling meal after all that work.”

“I’m sorry.” Luke apologised on behalf of his sister with the resignation of a man who did that regularly.

“These things can’t be helped. I’ll put up the Christmas tree after we’ve eaten—the delivery man left it by the front door.”

Living in a bubble at Hazelwood Farm, the run up to the festive season had all but passed me by. Just as well, because I’d had nothing to celebrate.

But did I now?

The three of us hauled in the tree and set it upright in the hallway. Nora produced boxes of tree ornaments and soon the tree sparkled in red, green and gold. As I wound tinsel over the boughs, I wondered what Bradley was getting up to. I never wanted to make a fuss over the festive season, but he went all out.

Every year he did something bigger and better, and usually I let him. It made him happy. Everyone needed a little happiness in their lives even if my darling assistant shoved it down their throats.

Would he make such an effort this year without me there?

The answer was most likely yes. I said a silent prayer one of my friends would apply the brakes if he tried anything too wild. Last year, I’d had to veto his plan to install a life-size nativity scene on my front lawn. No way were the sheep and cows going to stand peacefully and nibble hay. They’d shit everywhere. We’d compromised and he’d arranged for the gifts to be delivered in a sleigh pulled by reindeer. The year before, he’d insisted on using my helicopter to install a giant star on the roof. A decade of training, and I used my skills to dangle at the end of a rope while he kept changing his mind about the angle.

Luke’s tree was tame by comparison, but once we’d hung all the crap on it, we stood back and admired our work.

“I’m looking forward to unwrapping my present,” Luke said, snaking an arm round my waist.

“You’ve only got a few days to wait.”

“I wasn’t talking about the one under the tree.” He kissed his way up my jaw. “It’s been purgatory keeping my hands off you. Get upstairs.”

“Nora’s still here.”

“You’d better be quieter than you were last night then.”

“What are you going to do, gag me?”

Without warning, he picked me up and slung me over his shoulder, caveman style. I shrieked, cursed myself for being such a girl, then enjoyed the ride. When he dumped me on the bed and peeled me out of my clothes, I managed to keep the noise down until Nora slammed the front door on her way out.

Then I got loud, and I wasn’t the only one.

Chapter 20

I LAY WITH my head on Luke’s chest, threading my fingers through the smattering of blonde hair that led to the good bits. We’d had our workout for the afternoon—Luke had certainly put in an effort holding me up against the wall. I was debating whether I could muster up the energy to go down on him when “Nightmare” by Avenged Sevenfold blared out from his phone.

He raised his head and groaned. “Shit.”

“Just leave it.”

“I can’t. It’s my mother.”

Ah, yes. Mothers. In Lower Foxford, ignoring a call from one was probably punishable with a lifetime ban from the country club. He grabbed the phone from the nightstand and jabbed his finger at it.

“Yes, mother?”

The woman’s cut-glass accent and lack of a volume control meant I heard every word.

“I’m just going to drop Tia off with you. We’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Luke stiffened. “You can’t. I’ve got company.”

“I’m sure she’ll be no trouble, darling.”

“She’s sixteen. Why can’t she stay home on her own?”

“The gardener caught her smoking cigarettes behind the pool house again, so she’s grounded. I don’t trust her to stay put, so she’ll have to spend the evening with you.”

“She can’t come here.”

“Don’t be silly. She’s your sister. Ooh, got to go, Mabel’s calling me. It’ll be about bridge night.”

She hung up, and Luke threw his phone down on the bed.

“I take it you heard all that?”

“I could hardly avoid it. Shall I go out for the evening? It would be the easiest thing for everyone.”

“No.” Luke was adamant. “I’m hoping you’ll stick around, so Tia will have to get used to you.”

That was the first sign Luke had given that he wanted more than a few nights with me. A part of me was happy to hear that. For the first time in weeks, a chink of light shone through the fog in my mind. Today, the simple act of decorating a tree had been fun because he did it with me.

That joy competed with worry. My increasing strength meant the journey home loomed on the horizon. I was starting to care for Luke, and if he felt the same way he’d end up getting hurt when I left. There was also the small matter of having lied to him about my entire existence, but with Tia on the way, I put that out of my mind.

“I’d better put some clothes on.” I rolled out of bed. “And find my riot shield.”

Tia did indeed arrive in the promised ten minutes. By that time, I was in the kitchen, pulling out a casserole Nora left in the oven for us.

The demon child stomped into the kitchen and stopped short when she saw me there. My back was to her, but it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room.

“What’s
she
doing here?” Tia’s voice ended on a shriek.

“She’s staying with me. Thanks to you, she doesn’t have anywhere else to live,” Luke adopted a bored tone as he explained the obvious.

“So what, are you dating her now?”

That wasn’t something we’d discussed. Sure we’d slept together, but fucking and dating were two completely different kettles of fish. Luke looked at me, his eyebrows raised. I shrugged.

“Yes,” he said.

Well, that cleared that up then.

“B-but…you can’t!” spluttered Tia.

“Under whose rules?”

“She’s just a stable girl. Mother will go mad.”

“She’s not a stable girl any more though, is she? At the moment she’s a lady of leisure. Which is exactly what mother is, so she can hardly complain.”

Tia had no reply for that. She stood open mouthed, hands on her hips.

“Well, are you eating with us or not?” Luke asked, getting the cutlery out.

“I’m not sharing a table with
her
. Hell would have to freeze over first.”

She looked so indignant at having to breathe the same air as me, I stifled a laugh. That earned me a glare.

“Well,” I said, looking at my watch. “The temperature’s dropping, and the devil’s wearing thermals.”

“Fine. But I’m not speaking to you.”

I set out an extra place, and she moved the utensils to the furthest end of the table. That suited me fine.

While Tia gave herself an aneurysm, I spooned the casserole onto plates. Luke even had a plate-warming drawer in his over-specced kitchen. For a moment I was impressed, but the chances were I had one too. It’s not as if I’d spent enough time in my own kitchen to check.