Plagiarized (26 page)

“No, please,” I groaned out.

“You don’t want me?” he asked in mock horror. I knew he was playing with me, but my pleasure was clouding my reactions and timing so I couldn’t even respond.

He finally put his mouth closer and then feasted upon my peach, sucking and taking me all the way in. He sucked on my sensitive pearl and I felt like I might faint. The strumming of his tongue against my clit providing the friction I needed to achieve the most glorious orgasm. Fireworks exploded everywhere so that I could see them with my eyes opened or closed. I was in love with everything at that moment, my orgasm intensifying everything I felt for this man lying with me.

He continued to lick me until he brought me to another orgasm, and then thrust into me with his cock mid-orgasm. I was dying, dying a thousand deaths for I felt reborn.

We lay on the bed in an exhausted pile, holding each other like it was the last night we had together, which it unfortunately was.

If I was still posting things as S. Roby, then I would have posted something about staying up all night and fucking like bunnies. But that was a lie. The truth was so much better. We stayed up all night talking about everything. Neither one of us slept a wink. I don’t think there was any topic we didn’t cover, everything was important in that night.

“I don’t want you to wait for me. I want you to go on with your life and live it as if you aren’t waiting for me. Then when I get out, if you’re still available, we can see—”

“Are you fucking crazy?” Craig said as he sat up and moved me off of his naked chest. “I told you that I love you and what’s more, you said you loved me. Fucking loved me, if I’m not mistaken. How can I possibly go on with my life not thinking of you? You are fucking insane if you think that.”

“Well, I think we’ve already covered that,” I chuckled. “I’m certifiably insane. Remember?”

“This isn’t funny, Sage. I am not seeing anyone else while you’re away and that’s final.” He said the words with authority and it almost made me believe him.

I mean, he is eighteen years old. Who knows what they want at that age? I was almost thirty and didn’t even know what I wanted. I felt like I was starting a brand new life and wouldn’t even see the light of day for three to five long years. I couldn’t expect him to wait for me. That just wasn’t fair. I knew even if he promised to wait, I wouldn’t hold him to that promise. I couldn’t. It wasn’t right. He was a kid and I was a woman heading to prison.

I could have kicked myself for declaring my love to him because that would only serve to make his resolution to wait for me greater. I hadn’t planned to voice the love that I felt for him because I wanted him to move on; as much as the thought of him moving on literally killed me inside, I knew it was best for him. And wasn’t that the meaning of true love? Sacrificing yourself for those you loved? Well, Craig was the first person I had ever met who I felt was worth sacrificing myself for.

What a fucked up world we live in. I had finally met my lobster in life and was now being ripped away from him. There was no way he would wait for me, but I would still be in a better place having known him. That was for completely fucking sure.

I turned my phone off before the alarm went off at six in the morning. Craig was snoring softly beside me and I just lay there and listened for a minute, trying to remember the exact way it sounded. Maybe I could imagine him in bed with me every once in a while when I was alone in my cell. Once I had my fill, which would never be enough, I got up and went through my normal morning routine. Even though I was fooling myself, there was nothing normal about this.

As I stepped under the hot water spray, I thought of my conversation with Tom yesterday. He had agreed to put the house up for sale for me and help me make arrangements for all of my personal belongings to be boxed and put in storage. I can’t believe he agreed to help me, but if he loved me, even a percentage of how I loved Craig, it gave me an inkling of why he was handling those things for me.

After I washed my hair and scrubbed my body, I stepped out of the shower and let out a screech when I ran straight into Craig. “You scared me!”

“Sorry! I heard the water running and was hoping to join you.”

I looked at him with a small smile, which was all I seemed capable of at the moment. “I’ll come back in with you if you want me to.”

He shook his head and said softly. “The lawyer’s already downstairs waiting for you.”

“He’s early!” I looked at him forlornly. I wanted more time. I needed more time.

“You still have some time, don’t worry. Let me just get dressed to go with you, okay?”

“No.” I shook my head adamantly. “I don’t want you to go with me. I would rather say goodbye to you here.” That was so true. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with arriving at the jail and saying goodbye to him. It was too much to stomach.

We got dressed and ready in silence, neither one of us knowing what to say, but the silence wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable. I valued our last moments together and would cherish our last night together for a long time.

We walked hand in hand down the stairs and it was hard not taking anything with me, but I wasn’t allowed to bring any of my belongings. It was strange to know that I was leaving and not coming back, yet not packing or bringing things with me. It was an eerily strange feeling.

I had been told that all of my personal items would need to be bought at the commissary inside the facility. My items would be limited and I wouldn’t be allowed to have certain items. It would definitely take some getting used to, if I were ever able to get used to it at all.

Once we reached the foyer, I was surprised to see the lawyer standing there waiting for me. “Hello, Mr. Coppenhagen.”

“Mrs. Roby, are you ready to go?”

I nodded and looked at Craig to gauge how he was doing. He looked green and completely under the weather. It nearly did me in.

“Are you coming with us, Craig?” Mr. Coppenhagen asked.

I saw hope beam on Craig’s face at the question and I quickly shot it down with a shake of my head. I didn’t want to be mean, but it was better this way.

“Can you please give us a minute?” Craig asked coolly.

“Certainly, I’ll just wait outside.”

Craig waited until he opened the front door and then closed it quickly behind him before he continued to speak.

“Please let me come with you,” he begged one last time.

I shook my head, afraid that if I opened my mouth I might let
yes
slip out.

“All right then,” he sighed. He turned so that he was facing me and clasped my face tenderly; I cherished that moment. “Please take care of yourself. I’ll come to visit you often, since you’re staying here locally. Okay?”

I nodded and brought my lips to his. It was a simple kiss, but full of meaning.

“I love you, Sage. I always will.”

“I love you, too, Craig. Please don’t wait for me—”

“Enough. Let’s not end like this.”

I nodded and kissed him again.

“See you soon!” he exclaimed encouragingly.

I nodded, my eyes brimming with tears. I was trying so hard to be brave. I quickly opened the front door and walked out before my courage disappeared.

This was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.

After a long and quiet car ride, we finally arrived at the prison. My home for the next few years, which was still hard to imagine, even though the evidence lay before me and would be happening within the next few minutes.

Mr. Coppenhagen led me to the front desk. We had to go through two separate gates and get buzzed in, plus a metal detector. At the front desk, they had me sign a bunch of forms and check to ensure my personal information was filled out correctly on the partially filled out forms. I signed each one after Mr. Coppenhagen gave his approval with a slight nod of his head.

Once that was finished, he put his hand on my arm. “This is where I say goodbye, my dear. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you learn everything you can while in this place.”

I guess that was nice of him to say? But I just stared at him, then finally nodded and turned to follow the female police officer through a door that led to the back.

When they took my finger prints and mug shot, I was surprised by how realistic it was, compared to TV shows. I had always loved to watch crime TV shows and had loved the ‘who done it’ types of shows. Experiencing things firsthand was completely different. For one thing, when you’re watching TV, you don’t realize the crippling fear the prisoner is feeling. Maybe not everyone feels fear upon entering prison, but I sure did. My fear was very real and present in my mind.

The officer then led me to a room with another guard. I was told to strip. Naked. The blood rushed to my head and I felt the familiar pounding between my ears that I usually felt before I fainted. I quickly put my head between my knees and took slow, even breaths until I felt better. The guards completely ignored me and didn’t seem concerned that I was struggling to gain my balance.

“Undress,” the one that looked like a guy commanded. That one word had my knees quivering so hard I could no longer feel them. I thought I would fall at any moment.

I started to undress, since there wasn’t another apparent option. These two definitely wouldn’t put up with my shit. I thought it was better to do as I was told versus having them do it for me. They looked rough and wouldn’t care about my modesty.

Once I was down to bra and panties, I looked up and pleaded with them for help. I’m not really sure what I expected for them to do, but I just couldn’t do it. Where was confident-as-fuck S. Roby when I needed her? Not her, per se, just the confidence or some of it.

“Finish, hurry up!” the other guard barked out and then went back to talking to the other guard. I couldn’t even comprehend what they were discussing. All I could think of was that I was going to be standing naked in front of them in two seconds flat. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

Once I was naked, I stood in the classic ‘fig leaf’ position, legs squeezed together, with my hands crossed in front of my pussy. I was beyond mortified.

The two guards snapped on plastic pink gloves and came over to begin their examination of my body. It was excruciating as they directed me to do things. Things I never would have imagined myself doing. Like running both of my hands through my hair with my fingers down to my scalp, showing them behind and in my ears, opening my mouth while lifting my tongue, showing them underneath each of my boobs, and that wasn’t even the worst of it.

I was forced to squat over a mirror and cough so that they could ensure I hadn’t stuffed anything up there. What the fuck? People seriously did that? That act alone made me realize how innocent I was to the way the world worked. I was seriously screwed. I had no idea what I was going to be witness to. I was fucking terrified.

***

I had only been in the slammer for a week when I was notified that I had a visitor. Craig hadn’t visited me yet, so I knew it had to have been him. I felt my heart skip a beat with excitement and to my horror, my eyes filled with tears. I wanted to beg him to take me with him. To kidnap me and take me home.

This place was horrible. I could only stomach two out of three of the meals a day, the food was that bad. Then they had these disgusting systems in place for every little thing. The systems and rules weren’t there to make things easier. No, they were there to make our lives harder. They wanted us to suffer as much as possible, since this was a punishment. Not a vacation.

That’s why I was so excited to see Craig, even if it would be through glass and talking via a phone. The other prisoners had explained things. Not to me, I had just eavesdropped on other conversations. I didn’t want to become friends with anyone or belong to a specific group. It wasn’t worth it. That’s how people got killed or seriously hurt. It was best to keep your nose to the ground and stay out of the drama.

I practically ran to the visiting hall. I was overwhelmed by the elation that flooded my system from the mere thought of seeing
my
Craig.

I rounded the corner and the guard gave me all the rules and protocols I had to follow. I quickly agreed to them and would have agreed to anything to see him. My love had finally visited me.

I heard the buzzer that signaled the door was unlocked and quickly opened it, stepping through.

“Window four,” the monitor barked out.

I scrambled to the window and stopped as I noticed who was there.

Missy
fucking
Ludington.

Part of me wanted to quickly retreat and not give her the time of day. I hated her with a passion. It was partially her fault that I was there. But the monotony of what awaited for me made me stand stalk still. My visit with her, however brief and trite, would at least break up my day.

I don’t know why, but I decided to pick up the phone and see what she had to say. Why the fuck was she here?

I sat down on the stool, picked up the receiver—which looked like the handle part of an old fashioned phone—and then slowly looked up into the eyes of Missy. I sat there and didn’t utter a word. I decided to let her speak first. It seemed only fair.