Plains of Passage (104 page)

Solandia’s youngest, Micheri, aroused similar feelings in Ayla, but she continued to make her special contraceptive tea each morning. The descriptions of the glacier they had yet to cross were so intimidating that she would not even consider trying to make a baby with Jondalar yet.

Though he was grateful it hadn’t happened while they were traveling, Jondalar was filled with mixed emotions. He was getting worried about the failure of the Great Earth Mother to bless Ayla with pregnancy, feeling that in some way it was his fault. One afternoon he brought up his misgivings to Losaduna.

“The Mother will decide when the time is right,” the man said. “Perhaps She understood how difficult your travels would be. However, this may be the time for a ceremony to honor Her. Then you could ask Her to give Ayla a baby.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Jondalar said. “It certainly couldn’t hurt.” He laughed disparagingly. “Somebody once told me that I was a favorite of the Mother, and that She would never refuse anything I asked.” Then his brow wrinkled. “But Thonolan still died.”

“Did you actually ask Her not to let him die?” Losaduni said.

“Well, no. It happened too fast,” Jondalar admitted. “That lion mauled me, too.”

“Think about it sometime. Try to remember if you have ever directly asked Her for anything, and if She complied or refused your request. Anyway, I will talk to Laduni and the council about a ceremony to honor the Mother,” Losaduna said. “I want to do something to try to help Madenia, and an Honoring Ceremony might be exactly the right thing. She won’t get out of bed. She wouldn’t even get up to hear your stories, and Madenia used to love stories about traveling.”

“What a terrible ordeal it must have been for her,” Jondalar said, shuddering at the thought.

“Yes. I was hoping she would be recovering from it by now. I wonder if a cleansing ritual at the Hot Well would help,” he said, but it was obvious he didn’t expect an answer from Jondalar. His mind was already lost in thought as he began to consider the ritual. Suddenly, he looked up. “Do you know where Ayla is? I think I’ll ask her to join us. She could be a help.”

———

“Losaduna has been explaining it, and I’m very interested in this ritual we are planning,” Ayla said. “But I’m not so sure about the Ceremony to Honor the Mother.”

“It’s an important one,” Jondalar said, frowning. “Most people look forward to it.” If she were not happy about it, he wondered whether it would work.

“Perhaps if I knew more about it, I would, too. I have so much to learn, and Losaduna is willing to teach me. I’d like to stay a while.”

“We have to leave soon. If we wait much longer, it will be spring. We’ll stay for the Ceremony to Honor the Mother, and then we have to go,” Jondalar said.

“I almost wish we could stay here until next winter. I’m so tired of traveling,” Ayla said. She didn’t voice her next thought, though it had been bothering her. These people are willing to accept me; I don’t know if your people will.

“I’m tired of traveling, too, but once we get across the glacier, it won’t be far. We’ll stop off to visit with Dalanar and let him know I’m back, and then the rest of the way will be easy.”

Ayla nodded in agreement, but she had the feeling they still had a long way to go, and the saying would be easier than the going.

W
ill you want me to do anything?” Ayla asked.

“I don’t know yet,” Losaduna said. “I feel, under the circumstances, that a woman should be with us. Madenia knows I am the One Who Serves the Mother, but I am a man, and she has a fear of men right now. I believe it would be very helpful if she would talk about it, and sometimes it’s easier to talk to a sympathetic stranger. People fear that someone they know will always remember the deep secrets that they reveal, and every time they see that person again, it may remind them of their pain and anger.”

“Is there anything I should not say or do?”

“You have a natural sensitivity and will know that yourself. You have a rare, natural ability for new language, too. I am genuinely amazed at how quickly you have learned to speak Losadunai, and grateful, too, for Madenia’s sake,” Losaduna said.

Ayla felt uncomfortable with his praise and glanced away. It didn’t seem especially amazing to her. “It is quite similar to Zelandonii,” she said.

He could see her discomfort and didn’t make any further issue of it. They both looked up when Solandia came in.

“Everything’s ready,” she said. “I’ll take the children and have this place prepared for you when you are through. Oh, and that reminds me, Ayla, do you mind if I take Wolf? The baby has grown so attached to him, and he keeps them all occupied.” The woman chuckled. “Who would have thought that I’d ever be asking for a wolf to come and watch my children?”

“I think it would be better if he went with you,” Ayla said. “Madenia doesn’t know Wolf.”

“Shall we go and get her, then?” Losaduna said.

As they walked together toward the dwelling space of Madenia and her mother, Ayla noticed she was taller than the man, and she recalled that her first impression of him had been that he was small and shy. She was surprised at how much her perception of him had changed. Although he was short in height, and reserved in demeanor, his sure
intellect lent stature, and his quiet dignity cloaked a deep sensitivity and a strong presence.

Losaduna scratched at the stiff rawhide leather stretched between a rectangle of slender poles. The entry door was pushed outward and they were admitted by an older woman. She frowned when she saw Ayla and gave her a sour look, obviously unhappy that the stranger was there.

The woman started right in, full of bitterness and anger. “Has that man been found, yet? The one who stole my grandchildren from me, before they ever had a chance to be born.”

“Finding Charoli won’t return your grandchildren, Verdegia, and he is not my concern right now. Madenia is. How is she?” Losaduna said.

“She won’t get out of bed, and she hardly eats a thing. She won’t even talk to me. She was such a pretty child, and she was growing into a beautiful woman. She would have had no trouble finding a mate, until Charoli and his men ruined her.”

“Why do you think she is ruined?” Ayla asked.

The older woman looked at Ayla as if she were stupid. “Doesn’t this woman know anything?” Verdegia said to Losaduna, then turned to Ayla. “Madenia didn’t even have her First Rites. She is fouled, ruined. The Mother will never bless her now.”

“Don’t be too sure of that. The Mother is not so unforgiving,” the man said. “She knows the ways of Her children and has provided means, other ways to help them. Madenia can be cleansed and purified, renewed, so that she can still have her Rites of First Pleasures.”

“It won’t do any good. She refuses to have anything to do with men, not even for First Rites,” Verdegia said. “All my sons have gone to live with their mates; everyone said we didn’t have room in our cave for so many new families. Madenia is my last child, my only daughter. Ever since my man died, I have been looking forward to her bringing a mate here, having a man around to help provide for the children she would bear, my grandchildren. Now I won’t have any grandchildren living here. All because of that … that man,” she sputtered, “and no one is doing anything about it.”

“You know that Laduni is waiting to hear from Tomasi,” Losaduna said.

“Tomasi!” Verdegia spat out the name. “What good is he? It was his cave that spawned that … that man.”

“You have to give them a chance. But we don’t have to wait for them in order to help Madenia. After she is cleansed and renewed, she may change her mind about her First Rites. At least we need to try.”

“You can try, but she won’t get up,” the woman said.

“Perhaps we can encourage her,” Losaduna said. “Where is she?”

“Over there, behind the drape,” Verdegia said, pointing to an enclosed space near the stone wall.

Losaduna went to the place and pulled the drape back, admitting light into the darkened alcove. The girl on the bed put up her hand to ward off the brightness.

“Madenia, get up now,” he said. His tone was firm but gentle. She turned her face away. “Help me with her, Ayla.”

The two of them pulled her to a sitting position, then helped her to her feet. Madenia didn’t resist, but she didn’t cooperate. With one on each side, they led her out of the enclosed space, and then out of the cave. The girl didn’t seem to notice the freezing, snow-covered ground, even with bare feet. They guided her toward a large conical tent that Ayla hadn’t noticed before. It was tucked away around the side of the cave, screened by rocks and brush, and steam came from the smoke hole at the top. A strong smell of sulfur permeated the air.

After they entered, Losaduna pulled a leather covering across the opening and fastened it. They were in a small entrance space that was partitioned from the rest of the interior by heavy leather drapes, mammoth hide, Ayla thought. Although the temperature was freezing cold, it was warm inside. A double-walled tent had been erected over a hot spring, which provided the heating; but for all the steam, the walls were reasonably dry. Though some moisture collected, beading up and running down the sloping sides to the edge of the ground cloth, most of the condensation occurred on the inside of the outer wall, where the cold outside met the steamy warmth inside. The insulating air space in between was warmer, keeping the inner liner nearly dry.

Losaduna directed them to undress, and when Madenia did nothing, he told Ayla to do it for her. The young woman clutched at her clothes when Ayla attempted to remove them, staring with wide eyes at the One Who Served the Mother.

“Try to get her clothes off, but if she won’t let you, bring her in with them on,” Losaduna said, then slipped behind the heavy drape, allowing a wisp of steam to escape. Once the man left, Ayla managed to ease the girl’s clothing off, then quickly undressed herself and led Madenia to the room beyond the drape.

Clouds of steam obscured the space inside with a warm fog that blurred outlines and concealed details, but Ayla could make out a pool lined with stones beside a steaming natural hot spring. A hole connecting the two was plugged with a carved wooden stopper. On the other side of the pool, a hollowed-out log, which brought in cold water from a nearby stream, had been lifted and made to slope the wrong way, stopping the flow from entering the pool. When the billowing steam cleared for a moment, she saw that the inside of the tent was painted
with animals, many of them pregnant, most of them faded from water condensation, along with enigmatic triangles, circles, trapezoids, and other geometric shapes.

Around the pools, extending not quite all the way to the wall of the tent, thick pads of felted mouflon wool had been placed on top of the ground cloth, wonderfully soft and warm under bare feet. They were marked with shapes and lines that led to the more shallow left side of the pool. Stone benches could be seen under the water, against the wall of the deeper right side. Near the back was a raised dais of earth supporting three flickering stone lamps—saucer-shaped bowls filled with melted fat with a wick of something aromatic floating in the center—that surrounded a small statue of an amply endowed woman. Ayla recognized it as a figure representing the Great Earth Mother.

A carefully laid hearth within a nearly perfect circle of round stones, almost identical in shape and size, was in front of the earthen altar. Losaduna appeared out of the steaming mist and picked up a small stick beside one of the lamps. It had a blob of dark material at one end, which he held to the flame. It caught quickly, and from the smell, Ayla knew it had been dipped in pitch. Losaduna carried the small brand, cupping the flame with his hand, to the prepared fireplace, and by lighting the tinder, started the fire. It gave off a strongly aromatic but pleasant smell that masked the odor of sulfur.

“Follow me,” he said. Then, placing his left foot on one of the wool pads between the two parallel lines, he started walking around the pool along a precisely laid-out path. Madenia shuffled along behind him, neither knowing nor caring where she put her feet, but Ayla, watching him, followed in his footsteps. They made a complete circuit of the pool and the hot spring, stepping over the cold water inlet and across a deep outlet trench. As he started around a second time, Losaduna began chanting in a singsong voice, invoking the Mother with names and titles.

“O Duna, Great Earth Mother, Great and Beneficent Provider, Great Mother of All, Original One, First Mother, She Who blesses all women, Most Compassionate Mother, hear our plea.” The man repeated the invocation over and over as they circled the water for the second time.

As he placed his left foot between the parallel lines of the starting mat to begin the third circle, he had reached “Most Compassionate Mother, hear our plea,” but instead of repeating, he continued with, “O Duna, Great Earth Mother, one of Your own has been harmed. One of Your own has been violated. One of Your own must be cleansed and purified to receive Your blessing. Great and Beneficent Provider, one of
Your own needs Your help. She must be healed. She must be mended. Renew her, Great Mother of All, and help her to know the joy of Your Gifts. Help her, Original One, to know Your Rites of First Pleasures. Help her, First Mother, to receive Your Blessing. Most Compassionate Mother, help Madenia, daughter of Verdegia, child of the Losadunai, the Earth’s Children who live near the high mountains.”

Ayla was moved and fascinated by the words and the ceremony and she thought she noticed signs of interest in Madenia, which pleased her. After completing the third circuit, Losaduna led them, again with carefully placed steps as he continued his plea, to the earthen altar where the three lamps burned around the small Mother figure, the dunai. Beside another lamp was a knifelike object, carved out of bone. It was fairly wide, double edged, with a somewhat rounded tip. He picked it up, then led them to the fireplace.

They sat down around the fire facing the pool, close together, with Madenia in the middle. The man added brown burning stones to the flames from a nearby pile. Then, from an alcove at the side of the raised platform of earth, Losaduna took a bowl. It was made of stone and probably originally had a natural bowl shape, but it had been deepened by pecking at it with a hard hammerstone. The bottom of it was blackened. He filled the bowl with water from a small waterbag that was also in the niche, added dried leaves from a small basket, and put the stone bowl directly on top of the hot coals.