Play Dirty (25 page)

She got him in the head with a notepad, and his anger flared. “Look, I said I was sorry! I am not fucking Aria. It was an honest mistake, okay? A fucking stupid one, but a mistake. I have to spend half my days coaching her now, and it was just a slip. I’m fucking tipsy and you mix hot water with alcohol and it intensifies. You would know this if you were older—“

“So this is somehow my fault because I’m younger than you? What the hell are you even saying right now?”

“You did this!” Matthew pointed at her. “I’m playing the role
you
cast me in, remember? You told me to put Aria in the lead, knowing full well it meant personal rehearsals. You told me to do this. You can’t accuse me of having an affair for slipping up on a name, when it was your fault the name slipped to begin with.”

“Oh, oh yes.” Her voice was hot with volatile, biting sarcasm. It was kind of terrifying. “It’s all
my
fault. All of this. I was the one who poured bourbon down your throat and made your rehearsal schedule and put a mental image of Aria Levens in your head even though I just gave you a goddamn blow job.”

She let out a scream and jumped at him again, this time knocking him to the floor. Matthew tried to keep her from clawing his eyes out without hurting her, but she was surprisingly strong. “How! Could! You! Do! This! To! Me!”

“I’m
sorry
!” Matthew held her arms to her sides, so she couldn’t slap him again. “Look, I’m a dumbass, Lynn. I have a dick and it steals half the blood from my brain and I do stupid, stupid shit. But I also love you more than anything, okay? Fucking anything. I would kill for you. I’d take a bullet and steal a car and free kittens from the pound if you asked me to. I’m kind of drunk, and fuzzy because you just gave me a really great orgasm, and I’m
sorry
.”

She was fucking gorgeous all riled up: cheeks flushed, tits heaving, passion oozing from her. Matthew pulled her in for a hug and she fought against him, but didn’t move. He tried for a kiss, but she jerked away.

“I’m sorry, baby.” Another kiss rejected. “I’m a fucking idiot and don’t deserve someone as perfect as you and I’m sorry.” Another kiss rejected.

“Get your dirty, nasty hands off of me.” She beat her fists into his chest and struggled her way up. “I don’t even want to look at you right now, Matthew. Do you really not get how unbelievably fucked up this is?”

“I do, I do.” He tried for another kiss, and this time she slapped him. His dick leapt to ramrod erect. “I kinda like it when you play rough, baby. Let’s forget all about this and you can take out your anger on me. You can slap me and fuck me all you need to. Punish me. I deserve it.”

Her laughter was cruel, but it didn’t sway him from trying for another kiss. “You are unbelievable.”

“I’m crazy about you. Part of being crazy is doing stupid things sometimes.” He was actually a little concerned her head was going to pop off. He rubbed her shoulders, but she knocked his hands off. He tried again and she slapped him again, harder. Funny, he never saw himself as being into this sort of thing … but he really enjoyed it. “Please, Lynn, let me make it up to you.”

“Don’t you mean, ‘Please
Aria
’?” Lynn hissed. “Stop touching me! You get out! This is my room, I don’t want you here anymore.”

“No, let’s talk about this. I’m telling you, I did nothing wrong. I fucked up with a name, but you know I have to spend a lot of time with her now, and I hate it, and her name just got stuck in my head because it’s a line that she has to say …”

Her hands were on her hips, her hair a mess, and her eyes flashed like lightening. “Really? I don’t remember that line in the script, Matthew.”

Oh shit. “Well, maybe it just sounds like it or something … I’m drunk, baby. I’m drunk and I’m dumb. Please, come to bed. We just need to sleep and it will all be okay.”

She crossed her arms and chewed on the inside of her cheek. Matthew tried to smile, but it just made her more angry. Also, more sexy. Finally, she climbed into bed and threw the coverlet at him.

“I am going to bed, to forget this whole fucking stupid night that you ruined. If you are too drunk to get your ass to a fucking
taxi
, you can sleep on the goddamn floor.”

Lynn lay down and flopped onto her side, so her back was to him. Matthew gingerly climbed into bed next to her and tried to cuddle up, but she kicked him and moved further to the edge of the bed.

“Lynn, please?”

She said nothing. Apparently, their conversation was over. He rested his head on her shoulder and sighed heavily. Goddammit, he’d fucked up bad. He knew he shouldn’t have had that last bourbon. Surely, he thought, surely she couldn’t stay mad at him forever.

After staring at her sleeping, angry body for a while, he curled up around her, when she couldn’t fight him any longer. This was supposed to be a great night, he knew. They would finally get to spend the whole evening tangled up, sleeping next to one another, and he’d fucked it all up.

Sleep finally caught up with him. His dreams were tortured and angry, leaving him tossing and turning all night. He dreamt he was being stabbed in the dark, yelled at by invisible heads, chased down by cars. He woke up in a sweat at four-thirty in the morning, reaching for Lynn to help settle him.

The bed was empty. She’d left him in the middle of the night.

Just like Vivian Ward.

PART THREE

LYNN

There was a small, Tiffany blue box sitting in her locker. She slammed the door shut and pretended it didn’t exist, and that a thrill of excitement hadn’t pulled through her when she saw it. She was still mad at him. Christmas break was full of shitty family ‘togetherness,’ aka drunk-fighting, and she spent most of it ignoring Matthew’s messages.

She wanted, more than anything, to believe that it was a mistake those few weeks ago. She wanted to believe that he was drunk and used to coaching Aria to be sexier for the spring musical, and that Lynn was the most important thing in the entire world to him.

But it was kind of fucking hard to feel that way after being called a nemesis’ name during sex.

She stomped off to class, angrier than she’d been in a week. As if he could just buy her affections back with jewelry! It made it even worse, because she knew he made shit money and was perpetually broke while saving back up for next summer’s theater season. He used money he didn’t have to buy her love back.

As if Lynn had room in her life for any more freaking guilt trips.

On the upside, the absence of Matthew in her life meant an increase in time with Dana. And, in her raging anger, Lynn had spilled the beans about
everything
: the sex at school, the secret relationship, the notes, the night he called her fucking Aria.

“Not Kirk!” Dana had gasped.

And in that moment, Lynn realized how desperately she
missed
her best friend. With Matthew, she had to hide from everyone and only function within a reality encompassed of no one but the two of them. It was a horrific double-edged sword. She loved being with Matthew, but hated giving up the rest of her life.

“It’s not exactly healthy, no.” Dana had given her a hug and a giant cup of cocoa stuffed with marshmallows, because she was the best kind of friend. “But it’s also not completely unrealistic. You guys had to keep it quiet for really important reasons. It’s not like he said, ‘be with only me if you want to live’ or something crazy.”

Lynn didn’t know what to think anymore, and after the whole name debacle, she didn’t know how to process it. It was the kind of shit her parents would do. Matthew was supposed to be different.

She went through her first few classes of the day seething, staunchly ignoring her locker and the stupid gift left in there. And how dare he break into her locker to leave his guilt gift! She would rather burn the whole goddamn school down than look at it again, but Dana begged to see it.

“Like Kobe Bryant.” Dana let out whistle and picked up the box. “You said he’s spent the whole break trying to apologize?”

“Every day.” Lynn leaned against the row of lockers with her arms crossed. “I never knew what to say. I know he was drunk, but holy fuck, Dana.”

“I can’t blame you.” Dana shook it. “Open it.”

“I don’t want to. I don’t want him to buy my love.”

Dana rolled her eyes. “Fine, then I’ll open it.”

“Rude!” Lynn snatched it from her, but still couldn’t make herself open it, so she shoved it back in the locker. “I don’t want to open it.”

“Okay. Real talk time, Miss I-Have-Issues-with-Relationships.” Dana said. “Oliver and I, despite being the most perfect and beautiful couple, have hit these bumps typical of being in a romantic and caring relationship.”

“He called me another girl’s name. During sex. And it wasn’t just any girl, Dana.”

“I know. And that was totally shitty.” She nodded. “But. What I
also
know is the dude is risking his entire career to be with you.”

“And Aria.”

“You don’t know that.” Dana wagged a finger at her. “You don’t.”

“You’re supposed to be Team Lynn, Dana. What the hell?”

“You know I am. But here’s the thing.” Dana took the box out of the locker and slammed it shut. “You aren’t going to know for sure until you open the box, and hear him out. Sometimes people do stupid things when they’re in love. Sometimes people do stupid things when they feel backed into a corner. You guys have had the tragedy of both. That’s not easy to deal with.”

Lynn pinched her face up and stared her best friend down.

Dana appeared completely unmoved. “If you loved him, you’d open it.”

“I don’t know anymore, Dana.”

“Bullshit.” Dana dropped her voice. “He isn’t your parents. He isn’t the person who parades around pretending to love you and then forgets you exist. Kirk has come to your rescue, come to your hotel room, apparently ravished you behind every goddamn tree in New York. This isn’t some flash in the pan bullshit and you
know
it.”

Lynn sighed and took the box. “Fine. I’ll open it.”

Dana clapped for joy. Lynn didn’t want to admit how terrifying it was to open. She felt incredibly vulnerable. Yes, the stakes were high. Yes, there was high stress. But she didn’t want to open her eyes and realize she’d been played by some older guy on the hunt for high school pussy. If he really was sleeping with Aria, she was nothing but a stupid fucking girl who fell for someone who said he loved her and lied. She didn’t think she could survive that heartache.

Inside was a delicate silver bracelet with tiny balls in between links. It was beautiful without being too much, which sort of helped the whole This-is-My-Sorry-I-Had-an-Affair-Gift mentality she had going on. Inside, a note folded into the shape of a heart.

I’m really messed up right now, and I’ve got a whole lot of stuff I gotta work out, but I don’t want to waste anymore of my life without you in it.

“Well that’s … depressing.” Dana said.

A smile played on Lynn’s lips. “It’s
Garden State
. One of my favorites.”

“Oh! That movie I always fall asleep in!” Dana stuck out her tongue as the bell rang to signal fourth period was starting in one minute. “Maybe, then, he’s a keeper.”

Lynn put on the bracelet and smiled. “Maybe.”

They parted ways for class. Lynn had to take a deep breath before walking into Matthew’s class. Brad and Matt were talking to him at his desk about basketball, so she was able to sneak in without feeling extra awkward. But she did make sure to run her hand with the bracelet through her hair, so he could see she was wearing it.

It was her show of good will. It wasn’t a reciprocating guilt gift, but it was a lot coming from her. Matthew smiled at her, the same he used as his Teacher Smile, which she’d previously loved to tease him for having. But his eyes were warm and full of gratitude.

It gave her a surge of hope. They were going to be okay, she decided. Plenty of couples had their issues, and Dana was right—their entire relationship, for what it was, was riddled with external stressors just because of their ages. And that whole being her teacher thing.

But she loved him, and wanted to give him a chance.

Also, she couldn’t wait to show off the bracelet in class, particularly in front of Aria’s nose. Pity she couldn’t tell her just who it came from. The look on Aria’s face would be worth every last second of frustration Lynn had to suffer through since the beginning on the year. And, frankly, she needed a leg up on Aria to make herself feel better. She was adult enough to admit it. Even more so today. Aria appeared to be more up her own ass than usual.

“It was absolutely
amazing
.” Aria was talking to April and Madeline as Lynn took her seat. “I mean, you think you know theater until you step foot onto a real stage, not the piddly stuff we have here. The lights, the smells, the sounds, it’s amazing. I knew as soon as my feet touched the wood, that was my home. It’s just something you can
feel
deep down inside, for those of us who are destined to be on stage.”

Lynn rolled her eyes so hard it hurt. Someone in a previous class mentioned Aria had been auditioning in NYC over the break, but Lynn couldn’t give a shit less what Aria did anywhere ever to pay too much attention.

Another difference between the two of them: Lynn never bragged about her audition over the summer. It wasn’t exactly brag-worthy news since she didn’t get a role. Obviously, Aria didn’t either. She was such a classless ho-bag. All Lynn wanted to do was show her up. She felt a strong inclination to mention her own audition and tell everyone Aria was a piece of shit, because a stage is a stage, no matter where it is. It’s the heart you put into it. Matthew taught her that. Lynn bit down on a pencil cap instead.

“Lynn!” Aria feigned surprised and waved with two fingers. “I didn’t see you come in. I was just telling everyone about my
amaze
weekend in Manhattan. My agent set me up with some fabulous closed auditions. Not that cattle call nonsense, but I was actually invited to audition for plays on Broadway. Can you believe it? Everyone thought you’d be the first to touch a stage, but it was little ol’ me! Callbacks are this weekend.”