Players (Lessons by Loki) (18 page)

She seemed so small, so helpless curled up like a child. Yet he could still see her face and the arch of her shapely body as Josiah fucked her with his fingers. Loki didn’t desire Katie in the human sense, but
he had never felt so alone. He longed for a companion, someone with whom he could share these adventures.

He tried to shake away the haze, but the emotions lingered. Their marathon lesson had summoned feelings Loki could barely re
cognize. He filtered emotions, straining out the energy without experiencing the bittersweet ache or dizzying rush of joy. So why had this situation been different? He wasn’t used to being affected by the chaos he created.

Unwilling to analyze the cause,
Loki allowed his physical body to form. “Are you all right?”

“
I thought you weren’t going to watch what happened tonight.” She lowered her hands from her face and found the pillows. Tossing them against the headboard, she scooted back and rested against them.

“You kn
ew I’d watch. Why pretend you don’t enjoy an audience. We both know better.” He smiled, but there was no conviction behind the expression “It was touch and go there for a while, but you managed to keep all of the balls in the air.” He laughed at his unintentional quip. “Probably could have picked a better metaphor.”

“I’m still not sure who won that round.
” She indulged in an exaggerated sigh. “I am so out of my league.”

He sat on the edge of the bed and reached for her hand.
Desperate for comfort, she scooted forward and placed her head on his shoulder. Her energy sank into him from each place they touched. He wasn’t intentionally feeding. He was just too hungry to resist. Again he absorbed more than energy. He
felt
her loneliness and frustration at not being able to resist Josiah’s charisma.

Disconcerted by the strength of their connection
, Loki eased back and lifted her chin with the curve of his index finger. “It might not be a clear victory, but you survived. So let’s analyze the battle so you can fight another day.” He winked at her and the tension began to dissipate. “Josiah seems genuinely conflicted. I think you’re getting to him.”

Another pang of guilt assailed
Loki’s composure. He stubbornly suppressed the pesky emotion. He had just begun to extract energy from this situation. He couldn’t afford to move on without digging deeper. Besides, Katie wanted to explore her sexuality and Josiah and Chase were masterful teachers. There was no harm in letting them play. If Katie had been less enthusiastic with the men, Loki would have sought out a new conflict.

“Unfortunately, it goes both ways
,” she told him. “I know he’s a player, that he has no real interest in me, but it doesn’t seem to matter. I’m having a really hard time not wanting this to be more than a game.”

“That’s understandable. You’ve never been this intimate with anyone before. Dillon might have taken pleasure from your body, but he never really
shared himself with you. Josiah is making you feel all sorts of things and many of them aren’t just physical. You’re comfortable with him. You trust him.”

“I
like
him.” She sagged against the pillows, careful to keep the sheet in place. “He’s the worst sort of user. I never expected to like him.”

“Do you need another look inside his
mind?”

“
I don’t think it’d help. The last time wasn’t enough to keep my heart from opening to him. More of the same will just make me feel like a fool.” She shook her head. “I can’t stop the feelings, but at least I’m aware that they’re wrong.”

Loki paused
, plagued by a conscience he hadn’t realized he possessed. If she was no longer willing, he needed to give her an out. “You don’t have to continue this. Call him on Tuesday and tell him you’ve changed your mind.”

She considered it for a moment th
en shook her head again. “He wouldn’t let it go with a phone call. He’d knock on my front door two minutes later and probably bring Chase with him. The only hope I have is to stick to the rules for each lesson and then hit him with the truth just when he thinks I’ll finally let him go all the way.”

Loki strolled to the front window and gazed across the street. Was Josiah as disconcerted as poor Katie?
Loki hadn’t expected things to heat up quite this rapidly.

“You never explained exactly what they have to do to win the bet
.” She waited until he looked at her to continue. “Is it the first one to actually sleep with me or is it something more subjective?”

“They weren’t specific
.” He cringed, shocked by his own reaction. Lies had never bothered him before. Dishonesty was his stock and trade. But he’d promised Katie that he’d be honest with her.

And f
or the first time since Katie had met him, she didn’t believe him. She didn’t call him on the lie, but he could feel suspicion emanating off her.

Something unseen, yet tangible, swooshed toward him, or actually
barreled through him. He gasped and swayed, barely catching his balance.

“Are you all right?” She sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest.

He laughed. “I think your grandmother just told me to leave.”

Katie tensed even more
, her gaze suddenly sad. “Gran can’t stand liars. Is there something you need to tell me?”

Unsure what he wanted to do
and unbalanced by the unfamiliar emotions, Loki retreated. “I never argue with a ghost. I’ll check in again before you head over Wednesday night.”

Loki
flashed out of sight before Katie could argue, which only compounded her mistrust. He remained in the shadow realm to study her reaction. Maybe her response would help him understand his own.

He
’s holding out on me
. She could think of no other explanation and it had to be something important or her grandmother wouldn’t have reacted the way she had.

“Do you know what he’s hiding?” She
looked around as if she expected a reply. He was under the impression they could only communicate through dreams. Katie felt a tingling warmth that helped her relax. “I love you too, Gran. And I miss you every day. Thanks for the warning.”

This was just what he needed, a meddlesome ghost. As if live humans weren’t challenging enough.

The next two days were routine for Katie. She focused on work and refused to think about her troublesome neighbors. Loki left her alone, which only compounded her suspicion that he was hiding something from her. He’d been the driving force behind her involvement in this debacle, but now that she was in the middle of it, she was determined to see it through. With or without the trickster’s help, she was going to teach these men an important lesson. That was the problem with Loki. One never really knew where his loyalties lay.

Wednesday morning was particularly busy, which helped the time pass quickly. She walked into the waiting area, prepared to call the next patient when someone spoke her name. Katie didn’t recognize the voice so she turned to see who had spoken.

Vanessa stood beside the front desk, looking utterly out of place in a short, cherry-red skirt, white silk blouse, and sky-high pumps. Did the woman even own a pair of sensible shoes? This was a hospital not a nightclub. “I’m really busy, Vanessa. Unless you’re here for a mammogram, I don’t have time for you.”

“Five minutes. That’s all I ask.”

Katie closed her eyes and forced the tension in her shoulders to relax. She didn’t need this today and at work of all places. Slowly opening her eyes, she carefully guarded her tone. “I can break for lunch after this patient, but you’ll have to wait until I’m finished with her. She’s a paying customer. You’re not.”

One of her shoulders raised in an infinitesimal shrug.
“I’ll wait.”

Katie plastered on a professional smile and called the patient
’s name. The middle-aged woman needed a simple set of wrist x-rays so it wasn’t even necessary for her to change into a hospital gown. The entire procedure took less than ten minutes. Still, Katie hoped to heaven Vanessa would be gone when she returned. She told her coworkers she was taking her lunch break then went back to the waiting area.

Vanessa perched on the edge of one of the chairs as if she w
as afraid it would soil her skirt. Not an unreasonable concern. Katie smiled. The hospital had been founded more than a century ago and had always been one of Denver’s busiest medical facilities.

“I’ve only got thirty minutes, so you’ll have to talk while we walk.”

Vanessa fell into step beside her, but didn’t say anything until they reached the bustling cafeteria. “Can’t we go somewhere a little less…noisy?” She looked around with such distain, it made Katie chuckle.

“Not your usual scene?”

“It’s not that,” she said with enough conviction to convince Katie she was sincere. “We need to talk about something
personal
. I don’t want to shout over the noise.”

“Well, I’m starving and there isn’t enough time to go somewhere else. It’s this or nothing.”

“Fine.” She huffed and entered the chaotic room.

A small group
of scrub-clad workers vacated a table in one corner of the eating area. “Go grab that table before someone else does. I’ll meet you there.” Vanessa nodded and turned to obey. “Do you want anything to eat?” It was a stupid question. What little Vanessa ate obviously didn’t come from a cafeteria.

“
An ice tea would be lovely.”

“I’ll be right back.” The cafeteria personnel were used to the midday rush, so the line moved quickly.
Katie chose a premade sandwich from the cooler to speed the process even more.

“Is it always like this?” Vanessa
wrinkled her nose as Katie set down the food-laden tray and slid onto the opposite chair.

After handing Vanessa he
r ice tea, Katie pulled the tray closer. “So what brings you to my neck of the woods?” As if she didn’t know. The only thing they had in common was Chase. And he was far less of a commonality than Vanessa realized.

“That was quite a show you put on the other night
.” Her tone was filled with scorn.

“You came all this way to scold me?” She picked up her sandwich
, but paused before she took a bite. “Message delivered. Now leave so I can enjoy my lunch.”

“I came to warn you.”
Vanessa scooted her chair closer to the table and lowered her voice as much as possible. “They seem kind and charming on the surface, but they’re not. They’re both cold and selfish.”

Katie froze, sandwich still in hand. Did Vanessa know about their bets? Had one of her friends been the target of these cruel games?
“I’m down to fifteen minutes. You need to get to the point.”

“They toy with people for their own amusement.”

“That sounds ominous. Can you be a little more specific?”

Her chest rose and fell then her gaze narrowed. “Before Chase met me, he and Josiah used to wager on potential lovers. They’d
mutually agree upon a target, then bet on who could seduce them first.”

“What does this have to do with me?”
Carefully setting down her sandwich, she slipped her hands under the table. She was shaking and she didn’t want to give herself away.

Vanessa’s
delicate brows arched in silent challenge. “You’re a smart girl. I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out. I’m pretty sure you are their current target.”

“
Which means it would take a bet to make me desirable?” She sounded remarkably calm when inside she was dying. “Do you realize how arrogant you sound?”

“I’m trying to protect you, not embarrass you. They moved in, what four or five
years
ago. Why the sudden interest in—”

“Someone like me?”
Anger burned through her humiliation as she frantically blinked back tears. “Thanks for stopping by. You’re always such a joy.” She stood, but Vanessa grabbed her wrist.

“Do you know why we broke up?”

“I didn’t know we were together.” Rather than make a scene, Katie eased her arm out of Vanessa’s grip and returned to her chair. Then she picked up her sandwich and took a bite while Vanessa glared at her.

“I meant me and
Chase and you know it.”

Unwilling to
prolong the pointless conversation, Katie took the wind out of Vanessa’s sails. “You asked Chase to stop sleeping with Josiah and even though he did, you couldn’t deal with the fact that it had happened at all or that it might happen again.”

Vanessa’s eyes widened and
her hostility melted into something murky and sad. “You don’t care that your lover is sleeping
with another man
?” She whispered the last with obvious distaste.

Katie wiped her mouth with a paper napkin.
Neither man was technically her lover, but getting into the details of their convoluted interaction would have been counterproductive to the conversation. “Does it bother you that he’s intimate with someone else or that the other person is male?”

“Both. I
shouldn’t have to share him.” Vanessa’s chin came up and she shifted to the side so she could cross her legs. And what legs they were, ridiculously long and well-toned, accented by her high heels.

Suddenly
Katie felt fat and dowdy. “That’s unfortunate because Chase is still in love with you.”

Vanessa didn’t have a clever response to that. “Then why are you with him?”

“I’m not ‘with’ him. I went to a party with him. I enjoy spending time with him, but we aren’t even lovers, yet. Unless you count what happened in the parking lot and that was mostly for your benefit.”

“
You said ‘yet’, meaning you’ll sleep with him if he wants you to? Don’t you care that you’re likely the victim of their favorite game?”

“
I’m nobody’s victim.” She wanted to tell Vanessa that she knew about the bet and she was only flirting with them so they could learn what it felt like to be toyed with. Unfortunately, she didn’t trust Vanessa to keep her mouth shut. “If what you say is true—and I’m not convinced it is—they’ve targeted the wrong lover.” And that was all Vanessa needed to know.

“Then you’ll stop seeing him?” Her features radiated hope.

“Why do you care? You broke up with him.”

“You didn’t answer my question before. Are you attracted to Chase?”

Vanessa’s irrational possessiveness made Katie dig in her heels. Her lunch break was almost over. She should just walk away, but she lingered on principle. She might have ulterior motives for her involvement in the situation. That didn’t keep Vanessa’s attitude from chaffing. “I’m attracted to Chase. I’m also attracted to Josiah. The difference is, I don’t see why any of us needs to choose one over the other. I’m capable of loving more than one person and so are they. What I won’t tolerate is lies and deceit.” She meant every word, but the irony was heartrending. Her entire relationship with Josiah and Chase revolved around lies and deceit.

“Oh my
God.” Vanessa pressed her hand to her throat, looking genuinely horrified. “You’re one of those swingers.”

Katie chuckled. Was it possible Vanessa was even more
prudish than Katie had been before her exploration began? “I’m not into labels. I think people should be allowed to love whomever they choose, in whatever combination they desire, as long as they are all open and honest with each other and everyone involved is a consenting adult.”

“What about STDs?”

Katie rolled her eyes at the tired excuse. Sex, in any form, required responsibility, but too many people used the health risks as a scare tactic, hoping to convert others to their moral code. “Ever heard of a condom?” When Vanessa didn’t reply, Katie pushed even harder. “Would you be worried about STDs if Chase’s lover were female?”

“I already admitted that the gay thing bothers me more
than the cheating. All right. Just drop it.” Vanessa finally took a sip of her ice tea, but her gaze was filled with questions not recrimination. “Why did you tell me Chase still loves me if you want him for yourself?”

“
The most pointless lie of all is the one we tell ourselves. Chase might be attracted to me, but he’s in love with you. It’s obvious every time he looks at you.”

Leaning halfway across the table, Vanessa sneered.
“That didn’t keep him from unzipping his pants and shoving his dick into your mouth, now did it?”

Katie tensed, tired of Vanessa’s
superiority. “You dumped him, Vanessa. You can’t tell a man you’re finished with him and still expect him not to touch anyone else. Life doesn’t work that way.” When Vanessa only nursed her tea and sulked, Katie asked, “If he’s such a horrible person and you don’t want him anymore, why are you here?”

“I never said I didn’t want him.
” She set down the tea and sighed. “I just can’t live like you do.”

The barb should have stung, but it didn’t. If she honestly believed that everyone was entitled to their own boundaries
, then she had to allow Vanessa hers. “Did Chase ever so much as hint that he wanted you to be open to other lovers?”

“No, he just wants the freedom to fuck Josiah.” Her voice barely penetrated the den surrounding them.

“Why are you so threatened by Chase’s need for Josiah? They’ve known each other for years and have been intimate off and on since college. Technically, Josiah is being forced to share Chase with you.”

“If they’re so happy together, why did
Chase go out with me?” Her brows arched, accenting the challenge in her question.

So the world would see that he’d landed the perfect wife. Vanessa was the ideal most women aspired to
become and a trophy most men would covet. Katie kept the conclusion to herself. Instead, she softened the terms without abandoning the meaning. “Chase is still struggling with the complexities of his nature. He wants a traditional family, a wife and biological children, but he loves Josiah.”

“He can’t have both
,” Vanessa snapped. “Life doesn’t work that way.” She seemed really happy to throw Katie’s words back in her face.

What a bitch!
“I disagree. It’s been that way for a very long time, but that doesn’t make it right. You want Chase to be faithful to you. I understand that. Do you realize he never touched another person the entire time you were together? He loved you enough to shut it all down.”

Vanessa’s brows drew together as she digested the claim. “He told you that?”

“No, Josiah did and he has no reason to lie about it.” Katie hadn’t set out to feed Vanessa’s ego. Lord knew, it didn’t need the help. Unfortunately, everything she said seemed to shine a light on Vanessa’s power over Chase.

“
He wasn’t satisfied. He might have been faithful, but he was pining away for Josiah.”

“
Why can’t he love you both?” Vanessa just shook her head and looked away, which made Katie even more determined to make her point. “They aren’t subtle about their affection. You had to have realized they were lovers before you started dating Chase.”

“
We agreed that he would no longer indulge those impulses.”

Like she’d “agreed” to all of Dillon’s expectations.
Chase wanted the illusion, had tried to deny his true nature and conform to society’s concept of love. “He can’t just turn it off. It’s hardwired into his physiology.”