Playing Autumn (Breathe Rockstar Romance Book 1) (7 page)

Chapter 9

Like a hurricane.

Oliver was being nice, Haley knew, but he didn't realize how being
nice
was making things complicated. She knew a weekend fling would be nothing to him. It wouldn't lead to love, or any certainty about her life.

Anything she started with anyone else would seem like another way of avoiding the question: Why not Logan?

Cass had said that, when they were high school juniors, at a pool party in Logan’s house. “
Why not Logan?”
Haley and Logan had been flirting around each other for a while, and she’d so far refused to date him because he
liked
dating, liked girls, and never stuck with one for very long.

Cass was encouraging the relationship though, because she thought Haley was living in her “other worlds” too much.

“I’m supportive. I am. I love you and what you do. But maybe you could, you know, work on your balance?”

“Balance?”

“Help me out here. I’m trying not to sound like a jerk. Can you, like, live in the real world a bit more often? Our world?”

Cass meant
hang out with us real people
more often. As opposed to the online fellow fangirls, the once-a-year music festival group, the string of informal music teachers/friends, those other groups she flitted in and out of while everyone else was at Logan’s house or Roger’s games or the diner where Tracy worked. Cass remained a friend throughout Haley’s flakiness because it wasn’t about Cass, it was about
music
, something none of her “real friends” were into.

“You’re staying in Houston for college, right? I’m not. But most of the people at this party are. You’re not going to be able to get rid of them, Haley. Might as well be nice.”

It had been a continuing discussion with her parents, but the conclusion was, they’d pay for her college education if she stayed close and absolutely did not study music.

Logan didn’t have to tell her what the “special dinner” was about. Being himself, being deliberately present in her life even as she tried to make a new one somewhere else, was a loud enough signal.

This is your real world. We are your real people.

Maybe they were right? She was about to lose her job, and refuse someone's offer of security, and have to defend this and more to parents who had tolerated her missteps without making her feel like a failure.

But then again, Oliver seemed to be interested…

Down, fangirl.

It was so, so,
so
tempting to take advantage of
interested
and ignore the realities of this weekend. Except it would solve nothing and in fact blow up everything in her life, crap and all, and for sure she'd be left with the post-hurricane cleanup.

They made it back from dinner in time for Victoria’s meeting with the mentors at the Lake Star’s café/restaurant. No one else outside of the festival participants, volunteers, and mentors were checked in at the boutique hotel, so they had all the facilities to themselves, including the dining area. The students had all been checked in and dismissed for the day, so it was time for the “adults” to find out what they had to do.

It was amazing, by the way, what Victoria was able to accomplish all for a few days in the fall every year. Sitting around the interconnected tables at the first mentor meeting, every year, were people Haley would come to admire and respect. Since taking over the festival, Victoria liked to mix it up every year with people from different aspects of the industry, and recently she had even started to invite successful Breathe Music alumni.

Like Trey Lewis.

Remembering him made Haley laugh inside, a little bit, as she took her seat beside an esteemed producer and a big-name Houston-based music blogger. Trey had been fourteen when he was first part of this, and she interacted with him very little. She had been… seventeen at the time? He was cute even then and might have tried to hit on her, but she set him straight gently like a big sister. Back then the three years seemed like such a huge difference.

Now he was Trey Lewis, big music star, and he waved at her from the other side of the table. She did too.

There was a noise and a bit of movement nearby; Oliver had pulled up a chair to squeeze beside her and was already introducing himself to the music blogger.

How was she going to focus on anything with this guy around her? He seemed keen on attaching himself to her hip. Because he thought she was still Hot Piano Girl, or something.

“…for the first time ever, we have a security situation…” Victoria was saying, and Haley perked up because that sounded serious.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

Victoria, standing over at the other end closer to Trey, acknowledged her arrival with a nod and set her clipboard down on the table. “Teenage girls. That’s the situation.” She let the smattering of laughter die down before she continued. “Yes, we have a legitimate security issue, for the first time ever at Breathe Music, because of Trey’s girls. I told you to keep your involvement here quiet, didn’t I?”

He did not look at all apologetic. “I didn’t say anything! But they know everything about my schedule.”

“Thankfully,” Victoria added, “Trey’s manager will be springing for additional bouncers and security around anywhere Trey will happen to be in until Sunday. In the meantime, don’t be surprised if you see teenage girls camping outside the hotel starting tomorrow. There was a call on Twitter to do that, and some girls are traveling all the way from Austin. Try not to run over them.”

Haley caught Oliver’s eye at this, and he shrugged. “Kids,” he said under his breath.

“You had that too,” she reminded him, barely above a whisper. He had the girls (and some guys too) camping outside of record stores when he was around for signings. Oliver had crowds outside TV studio buildings whenever he made appearances. Haley was never able to travel to places where she could have done that for him, but she totally would have. Back then.

“Past tense,” he replied, very close to her ear.

Haley shook her head and managed to catch Victoria’s eye a moment later. Victoria had a smug smile on as she announced her reminders.

***

“I don't know, I think he actually likes you,” Victoria was saying.

“Shut up.”

“He’s not going to hear me. There are walls!”

“Thin walls. And who knows who’s listening? Who’s on this floor?”

“Oliver’s not hearing us right now.”

“You totally set me up.”

Haley wanted to catch up with her friend, so she tagged along to Victoria’s room after the meeting. An hour later and they were on the hotel bed alongside a pile of papers and a calculator. While having this conversation, Victoria’s fingers were punching out a string of numbers, and Haley was amazed at how Victoria could do that, talk about everything and manage to work at the same time.

“I make things happen,” she said, quoting one of the slogans of her events business. It didn’t sound at all like she had only been out of college a few months. But this was Breathe Music, and she was its queen even before she got her diploma. “Actually no, this one was a lucky break. I was surprised that he called back to confirm, so maybe I underestimate my power. It could also have something to do with his new manager being from my old high school. But anyway—the fact that he actually
knows who you are?
You know what this means, Haley? ‘
If there's no other time, when your life curves into mine…'
”

“Don't. Even!” Haley threw a pile of paper at her friend's face, lovely voice notwithstanding.

Victoria was laughing so loudly. “Why are you being such a tightpants about this? I thought you'd be happy. I thought you'd be in his room ‘making music' right now or whatever it is people do.”

Oh, she would think that. Victoria was not burdened by the same things. Her parents never expected her to stick to an instrument, much less a relationship. And yet she was committed and steadfast about other things, like Breathe Music, and her job, and their friendship. Except when she wasn't trying to throw Haley into embarrassing situations.

“What's the deal with Logan by the way? He was being extra in my face today,” Victoria said. “I hope I didn't ruin anything with Oliver. Logan
really
wanted to know where you were. I forgot that you might have wanted to hide a bit.”

“He just said hi. Drove us back here. Reminded me about Saturday.”

“What's on Saturday?”

To be fair, Logan did not act like an assy ex-boyfriend. However, he acted as if he were
never
an ex-boyfriend. If he didn’t believe her when she wanted to break up, she was hoping the move to Tampa was the clear sign that she meant it. But the Saturday dinner plans were a clue that he thought differently.

“I want you to recognize that this is how it's going to be,” he had said, and even though it could have been sweet and was intended to be, it had to her the undercurrent of a threat. “You know where to go when you're done with Florida.”

“You don't know what you're saying,” she had told him.

Because the way Logan saw it, it was his inability to stop hitting on random waitresses that was keeping them apart. That if he proved that he could stop doing it, she would have him. She tried to explain that this wasn't the case at all, that she wasn’t with him because she
wanted
it that way, and it didn't matter to her whether he committed to her, to a tree, to malaria eradication. Her being in another state wasn’t at all about him and his waitress flirtations.

“I think he's actually going to do it,” Haley told Victoria.

“What?”

“Woo me back. He’s been really
in touch
since I left.”

“Shut up. This is insane. He really thinks you'll give up and give in?”

Yeah, that pretty much summed it up. “He doesn't see it as me giving up. He probably thinks I'll think it's romantic.”

She scrunched up her nose. “Romantic my ass. Is there a chance you'll actually do it?”

“It depends on how vulnerable I am.”

“He’ll want you to move back.”

“Of course.”

“Stay strong, babe.”

“I think I'm about to get fired.”

“You can work with me.”

“You can't afford me.”

“What the hell are they paying you? You teach little kids ‘Chopsticks,' right?”

Ellen Lee was in fact already at Juilliard, and Sophie would have followed if not for actually wanting to take pre-med. Haley was not going to come across the same kind of job, or pair of students with parents of that stature, for a while.

“I was in a bubble,” Haley said. “Maybe it's time to live in the real world, finally.”

“You’ve been out of college for like a second! Don’t give up yet!”

“I can’t help it. It’s not like anyone else is doing so well, right? Following this crazy dream?”

This was a conversation that they’d already had and that she knew Victoria was tired of. But even her best friend couldn’t tell her that it wasn’t tough and heartbreaking. Years of working at this festival and seeing people come and go…

Victoria snorted. “Trey is.”

“Right. Trey, the youngest, prettiest guy in our group. I don’t think I’m cut out to do what he’s doing.”

“Ha, they’re probably already replacing him. Somewhere in a smoky room there are people deciding who the next dancing pretty boy will be.”

“Obviously not me.”

“The real world's always going to be here,” Victoria said. “Believe me, you don't want to be in a rush to greet it.”

“Victoria, I’m trying to tell you something important.” Haley had to put a hand on her friend’s arm so the multi-tasker would hone in on this alone. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“No…”

“I think this should be my last time mentoring.”

“No,” Victoria shook off her hand. “You’re a natural at this. The kids always love you.”

“I’m not
anything.
Maybe I used to deserve a spot as a mentor before, but I’ve done nothing lately to deserve it.”

“You are tired, and your nerves are confused because of the rock star next door. Don’t say things you don’t mean.”