Playing by the Greek's Rules (17 page)

‘Come with me. You'd love Puffin Island. Sea, sand and sailing. It's a gorgeous place. There's nothing keeping you here, Lily. Your project is finished and you can't spend August travelling Greece on your own.'

Right now she couldn't imagine travelling anywhere.

She wanted to lie down in a dark room until she stopped hurting.

Brittany reached out and took her hand. ‘Castaway Cottage is the most special place on earth. We may not have Greek weather, but right now living here is like being in a range cooker so you might be grateful for that. When I'm home, I sleep with the windows open and I can hear the birds and the crash of the sea. I wake up and look out of the window and the sea is smooth and flat as a mirror. You have to come. My grandmother thought the cottage had healing properties, remember? And it looks as if you need to heal.'

Was healing possible? ‘Thanks. I'll think about it.' She gave her friend a gentle hug. ‘Don't laugh at any jokes while I'm gone.'

She took a cab home and tried not to think about Nik.

Sweltering in their tiny, airless bedroom, she hunted for a top or a dress that could easily be pulled over a plaster cast.

It was ridiculous to feel this low. Right from the start, there had only been one ending.

She'd be fine as long as she kept busy.

But would he?

The next woman he dated wouldn't know about his past, because he didn't share it.

They wouldn't understand him.

They wouldn't be able to find a way through the steely layers of protection he put between himself and the world and they'd retreat, leaving him alone.

And he didn't deserve to be alone.

He deserved to be loved.

Through the window of her apartment she could see couples walking hand in hand along the street on their way to the nearest beach. Families with small children, the nice gay couple who owned Brittany's favourite bar. Everyone was in pairs. It was like living in Noah's ark, she thought gloomily, two by two.

She resisted the urge to lie down on the narrow bed and sob until her head ached. Brittany needed her. She didn't have time for self-indulgent misery, especially when this whole thing was her own fault.

She found a shirt that buttoned down the front and was folding it carefully when she heard a commotion in the street outside.

Lily felt a flicker of panic. The cab couldn't be here already, surely?

She was about to lean out of the window and ask him to wait when someone pounded on the door.

‘Lily?' Nik's voice thundered through the woodwork. ‘Open the door.'

The ground shifted beneath her feet and for a moment she thought there had been a minor earthquake. Then she realised it was her knees that were trembling, not the floor.

What was he doing here?

Dragging herself to the door, she opened it cautiously. ‘Stop banging. These apartments aren't very well built. A cupboard fell off the wall last week.' She took in his rumpled appearance and the tension in his handsome face and felt a stab of concern. ‘Is something the matter? You look terrible. Was your phone call bad news?'

‘Are you ill?' He spoke in a roughened tone and she looked at him in astonishment.

‘What makes you think I'm ill?'

‘Vassilis told me he took you to the emergency department. You
were
very pale on the boat. You should have told me you were feeling so unwell.'

He thought she'd gone to the hospital for herself? ‘Brittany is the one in hospital. She had a fall. I'm on my way there now with some stuff. I really need to finish packing. The cab will be here soon.' Knowing she couldn't keep this up for much longer, she turned away but he caught her arm in a tight grip.

‘Why did you walk away from me? I thought we agreed you were going to stay another night.'

‘I didn't walk. I bounded. That's what happens after rebound sex. You bound.' She kept it light and heard him curse softly under his breath.

‘You didn't need to leave.'

‘Yes, I did.' Aware that her neighbours were probably enjoying the show, she reached past him and closed the door. ‘I shouldn't have agreed to stay in the first place. I wasn't playing by the rules. And as it happened Brittany needed me, so your phone call was perfect timing.'

‘It was terrible timing.'

Discovering that being in the same room as him was even harder than not being in the same room as him, Lily walked back to the bedroom and finished packing. ‘So you're flying back to New York? That sounds exciting.'

‘Business demands I fly back to the US, but I have things to settle here first.'

She wondered if she was one of the things he had to settle.

He was trying to find a tactful way of reminding her their relationship hadn't been serious.

The ache inside grew worse. She tried to think of something to say that would make it easy for him. ‘I have to get to the hospital. Brittany fell on site and fractured her wrist. She's waiting for me to bring her clothes and things and then I have to arrange a flight for her back to Maine because she can't stay here. She has invited me to spend August with her. I'm going to say yes.'

‘Is that what you want?'

Of course it wasn't what she wanted.
‘It will be fantastic.' Her control was close to snapping. ‘Did you want something, Nik? Because I have to ring a cab, take some clothes to Brittany at the hospital and then battle with the stupid Wi-Fi to book a ticket and it's a nightmare. I did some research before the Internet crashed and at best it's a nineteen-hour journey with two changes. She's going to have to fly to Athens, then to Munich where she can get a direct flight to Boston. I still have to research how she gets from Boston to Puffin Island, but I can guarantee that by the time she arrives home she'll be half dead. I'm going to fly with her because she can't do it on her own, but I hadn't exactly budgeted for a ticket to the US so I'm having to do a bit of financial juggling.'

‘What if I want to change the rules?'

‘Sorry?'

‘You said you weren't playing by the rules.' His gaze was steady on her face. ‘What if I want to change the rules?'

‘The way I feel right now, I'd have to say no.'

‘How do you feel?'

She was absolutely sure that was one question he didn't want answered. ‘My cab is going to be here in a minute and I have to book flights—'

‘I'll give you a lift to the hospital and arrange for her to use the Gulfstream. We can fly direct to Boston and she can lie down all the way if she wants to,' he said. ‘And I know a commercial pilot who flies between the islands, so that problem is also solved. Now tell me how you feel.'

‘Wait a minute.' Lily looked at him, dazed. ‘You're offering to transport Brittany home on a private jet? You can't do that. When I told you I was going to have to do some financial juggling I wasn't fishing for a donation.'

‘I know. It sounds as if Brittany's in trouble and I'm always happy to help a friend in trouble.'

It confirmed everything she already knew about him but instead of cheering her up, it made her feel worse. ‘But she's my friend, not yours.'

He drew in a breath. ‘I'm hoping your friends will soon be my friends. And on that topic,
please
can we focus on us for a moment?'

Her heart gave an uneven bump and she looked at him warily. ‘Us?'

‘If you won't talk about your feelings then I'll talk about mine. Before we left the island this morning, I had a long conversation with my father.'

Lily softened. ‘I'm pleased.'

‘I'd always believed his three marriages were mistakes, something he regretted, and it wasn't until today that I realised he regretted nothing. Far from seeing them as mistakes, he sees them as a normal part of life, which delivers a mix of good and bad to everyone. Yes, there was pain and hurt, but he never once faltered in his belief that love existed. I confess that came as a surprise to me. I'd assumed if he could have put the clock back and done things differently, he would have done.'

Lily gave a murmur of sympathy. ‘Perhaps it was worse for you being on the outside. You only had half the story.'

‘When my mother left I saw what it did to him, how vulnerable he was, and it terrified me.' His honesty touched her but she resisted the temptation to fling her arms round him and hug him until he begged for mercy.

‘You don't have to tell me this. I know you hate talking about it.'

‘I want to. It's important that you understand.'

‘I do understand. Your mother walked away from you. That was the one relationship you should have been able to depend on. It's not surprising you didn't believe in love. Why would you? You had no evidence that it existed.'

‘Neither did you,' he breathed, ‘and yet you never ceased to believe in it.'

She gave a half-smile. ‘Maybe I'm stupid.'

‘No. You are the brightest, funniest, sexiest woman I've met in my whole life and there is no way,
no way
,' he said in a raw tone, ‘I am letting you walk out of my life.'

‘Nik—'

‘You asked me why I was here. I'm here because I want to renegotiate the terms of our relationship.'

She almost smiled at that. Only Nik could make it sound like a business deal. ‘Is this because you know I have feelings for you and you feel sorry for me? Because, honestly, I'm going to be fine. I'll get over you, Nik. At some point I'll get out there again.' She hoped she sounded more convincing than she felt.

‘I don't want you to get over me. And I don't want to think of you “out there”, a pushover for anyone who decides to take advantage of you.'

‘I can take care of myself. I've learned a lot from you. I'm Kevlar.'

‘You are marshmallow-coated sunshine,' he drawled, ‘and you need someone with a less shiny view on life to watch out for you. I don't want this to be a rebound relationship, Lily. I want more.'

Suddenly she found it difficult to breathe. ‘What exactly are we talking about here? How much more?'

‘All of it.' He stroked her hair back from her face with gentle hands. ‘You've made me believe in something I never thought existed.'

‘Fairy tales?'

‘Love,' he said softly. ‘You've made me believe in love.'

‘Nik—'

‘I love you.' He paused and drew breath. ‘And unless my reading of this situation is completely wrong, I believe you love me back. Which is probably more than I deserve, but I'm selfish enough not to care about that. When it comes to you, I'll take whatever I can get.'

‘Oh.' She felt a constriction in her chest. Her eyes filled and she covered her mouth with her hand. ‘I'm going to cry, and you hate that. I'm really sorry. You'd better run.'

‘I hate it when you cry, that's true. I don't ever want to see you cry. But I'm not running. Why would I run when the one thing in life that is special to me is right here?'

A lump wedged itself in her throat. She was so afraid of misinterpreting what he said, she was afraid to speak. ‘You love me. So y-you're saying you'd like to see me again? Date?'

‘No, that's not what I'm saying.' Usually so articulate, this time he stumbled over the words. ‘I'm saying that you're my favourite person, Lily. And I apologise for proposing to you in a cramped airless room with no air conditioning but, as you know, I'm very goal orientated and as my goal is to persuade you to marry me then the first step is to ask you.' He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. ‘Skylar doesn't make engagement rings but I hope you'll like this.'

‘You want to marry me?' Feeling as if she were running to catch up, she stared at the box. ‘I'm your favourite person?'

‘Yes. And when you find your favourite person it's important to hold onto them and not let them go.'

‘You love me? You're sure?' She blinked as he opened the box and removed a diamond ring. ‘Nik, that's
huge.
'

‘I thought it would slow you down and make it harder for you to escape from me.' He slid it onto her finger and she stared at it, dazzled as the diamond caught the sun's rays.

‘I'm starting to believe in fairy tales after all. I love you, too.' It was her turn to stumble. ‘I knew I was in love with you, but I wasn't going to tell you. It didn't seem fair on you. You were clear about the rules right from the beginning and I broke them. That was my fault.'

With a groan, he pulled her against him. ‘I knew how you felt. I was going to force you to talk to me, but then I had to take that phone call and you vanished.'

‘I didn't want to make it awkward for you by hanging around,' she muttered and he said something in Greek and eased her away from him.

‘What about you?' His expression was serious. ‘This isn't a first for you. You've fallen in love before.'

‘That's the weird thing—' she lifted her hand to take another look at her ring, just to make sure she hadn't imagined it ‘—I thought I had, but then I spent time with you and told you all those things and I realised that with you it was different. I think I was in love with the idea of love. I thought I knew exactly what qualities I wanted in a person. But you can't use a checklist to fall in love. With you, I wasn't trying and it happened anyway. I need to change. I need to find a new way to protect myself.'

‘I don't want you to change. I want you to stay exactly the way you are. And I can be that layer of protection that you don't seem to be able to cultivate for yourself.'

‘You're volunteering to be my armour?'

‘If that means spending the rest of my life plastered against you that sounds good to me.' His mouth was on hers, his hands in her hair and it occurred to her that this level of happiness was something she'd dreamed about.