Playing It My Way: My Autobiography (56 page)

India 272 (M Vijay 57, CA Pujara 52,
SR Tendulkar 32
; NM Lyon 7–94) and 158–4 (CA Pujara 82*, V Kohli 41,
SR Tendulkar 1
; GJ Maxwell 2–54)

India won by 6 wickets

India won the series 4–0

After surgery on my left hand in London in July 2013, I worked hard on getting back to full fitness. It was painful and time-consuming and it was a great relief to be able to resume practice by the end of August, some weeks ahead of the Champions League Twenty20. However, the period of recuperation was never boring. When I’d got back from England my friends Atul Ranade, Faisal Momen and I decided to start cycling as a part of my cardio exercise. Atul was already cycling on alternate days to stay fit, and Faisal decided to join in, making the whole thing more enjoyable. On the first day, after cycling for nearly forty minutes in the early morning, we decided to attempt the really steep incline that leads to the Mount Mary Church in Bandra. Faisal opted out when he saw the steepness of the slope, but Atul and I embarked on the climb. It was a difficult one, and by the time we reached the top we were both breathing heavily. I suggested repeating it, and Atul and I tried going up again. On the second attempt, I overtook Atul halfway up, but when I got to the top I started feeling seriously giddy. I tried drinking some water and did a few stretching exercises, but things did not improve and, by the time Atul had reached the top too, I was seeing white in front of my eyes and was forced to sit down on a divider on the road with my arms stretched out. In panic, Atul even started fanning me with a huge leaf that he plucked from a nearby tree! Things did not improve and I soon realized that what I really needed was to lie down to get the blood circulation back to my brain. When I told Atul, he saw an open-top jeep standing next to the church and, in desperation, suggested I lie down in it. That’s when I spotted a rickshaw and asked Atul to persuade the driver to allow me to lie on the back seat for a while. The driver was shocked to see me in that state, to say the least. As Atul stood outside explaining to him what had happened, I got onto the seat and lay flat for a good five minutes. Never in my life had I imagined I’d be doing such a thing just a few minutes from my house, at 6 a.m.! When I was feeling a little better we thanked the rickshaw driver profusely for his help, paid him a hundred rupees and started slowly cycling back down the hill. By now Faisal, at the foot of the hill, was getting impatient, because he thought we must be drinking tea at the top, and he was stunned to hear what had happened. However, none of this deterred me from continuing with my training ahead of what turned out to be my last few months in international cricket.

I had announced my retirement from the IPL in May 2013 and this was to be my last Champions League. To my great satisfaction, the Mumbai Indians won the trophy, beating Rajasthan Royals in the final, and it meant my team had won both the IPL and the Champions League in my last season as a player. We had gelled well as a team and Rohit Sharma did well as captain.

It was during the Champions League campaign that, for the first time in my career, I found I had to force myself to go to the gym. It was also the first time in my career that I didn’t feel bad about missing a session. Now, it wasn’t as if I hit the gym every day of my career. I have always tended to train in bursts, before taking a break for a few days. But this was the first time that I just did not feel like pushing myself. I was also taking far longer to recover from injuries and was feeling a number of aches and pains.

India’s next scheduled Tests were in South Africa in December 2013 and that’s where I was expecting to play my 200th Test match. After that, there was an away series in New Zealand in early 2014 and I was looking forward to both tours. A number of my friends had discussed the 200th Test match with me and made plans to travel to South Africa to watch me reach this milestone. In fact, I had to keep reminding Ajit to book his tickets. But then the BCCI announced that there would be a two-Test home series against the West Indies at the beginning of November 2013 and I had to rethink my plans. It was then, and I don’t know exactly how and when, that the thought of retirement first came to me. I started to wonder whether those two Tests against the West Indies should be my last.

I remember discussing it with Anjali and Ajit. We were sitting in the first-floor lounge of my house when I told them that I was thinking about retiring after the West Indies series. The second Test would be my 200th and I would not have another opportunity to retire on home soil till the end of 2014 and I wasn’t sure if I could battle with injuries for that long. There was no point in dragging things out if my heart wasn’t in it.

Anjali and Ajit were both fully supportive and Anjali said that she was behind me in anything that I decided. She just wanted me to be sure that I wouldn’t regret the decision a few months down the line. Ajit agreed that the timing was right and that it was a good decision to retire in India. Playing my final Test away from home just wouldn’t be the same.

Once I had made up my mind, I decided to ask the BCCI if they would consider allotting the second Test to Mumbai. It would mean that I would play my last series in front of my home crowd and above all I would get my mother to watch me for the first time in my life. My mother had never watched me play live and this was something I really wanted to do for her. I had begun my first-class career in Mumbai in 1987 and playing my last Test at the Wankhede would mean I had completed the circle. It was as if I was being told from above that this was an opportunity to thank cricket. There would be no better occasion to pay my respects to the game than in a farewell Test match in Mumbai.

When I talked through the decision with my friend and manager Vinod Naidu and our close friend Aparna Santhanam, it turned out to be a memorable and magical evening. I opened a bottle of champagne and we toasted the game of cricket and all the years gone by. There was no sense of gloom or dejection or talk of anything ending. Instead, there was a sense of joy, of anticipation and fulfilment. We laughed and reminisced about twenty-four years on the cricket field and chatted happily about the upcoming series. It all convinced me that I had taken the right decision. The timing was perfect. It was a call made from the heart. I wasn’t prepared to let my mind interfere in the decision because the mind has a habit of asking too many awkward questions. I had not given a thought to what I would do after retirement. I was simply sure that this was the best time to stop.

It was a day later, on the morning of 10 October 2013, that I called BCCI President N Srinivasan to communicate my decision to retire. He said that while the BCCI would always want me to continue for as long as I wanted, they would also back me on any decision. He was clear that retirement was entirely my call. Then I raised the question of allotting my last Test match to Mumbai and he promised to look into the matter. Allotting a Test match to a city based on a request from a player was a rare and touching gesture.

Before speaking to the BCCI president, I had informed my family that I was planning to retire. Sara asked me if I was retiring from all forms of cricket. I realized she was feeling emotional about the decision. It was natural, but she did her best to conceal it. Arjun was in South Africa at the time and I knew that telling him wouldn’t be easy. I was aware of just how much my cricket meant to him. Arjun and I used to laugh about retirement and I often joked that the next series would have to be my last as I was getting so old. This time it wasn’t a joke.

On the morning of 10 October, I called Arjun in South Africa and asked him to go to a room where he would be alone as I wanted to tell him something very important. I rang him back after a few minutes and told him that the two Tests against the West Indies in November would be my last. There was complete silence at the other end, so much so that I had to ask if he was still on the line. He said he was but he wasn’t able to say anything else and actually hung up on me. I knew he was crying. There was a lump in my throat. I was suddenly feeling a sense of emptiness and needed a few minutes to regain my composure. He called me back ten minutes later and chatted away about what he was up to in South Africa, but my retirement was not mentioned again. It was his way of coping with the news.

The decision was made public that afternoon and it was an emotional time for my family. I felt remarkably calm, though, because I was convinced I had made the right call at the right time. Soon after the news broke, Anjali suggested to me that she should go and fetch Sara from school. On the way back, Anjali read Sara the kind messages she had received on her phone, telling her they were indicative of what the world thought about her baba. When Sara got home, she ran up to me and, without saying a word, just hugged me tight. This time I couldn’t help getting emotional too. I was a happy father. My children mean the world to me and it touched me to know that they were proud of what I had achieved. I hoped it also meant that they understood why I had had to go away for such long periods when they were growing up.

By now a crowd had started to build outside the house and I was overwhelmed at the outpouring of emotion. I received a huge number of text messages and calls and made plenty myself. Despite trying my best to speak to every person who played a key role in my life, I missed out on calling many. I am sure they will all understand how much I value their contribution and that the omission was totally unintentional.

I continued sending messages late into the night, but that is not to suggest I was having trouble sleeping again. On the contrary, I slept very well and was very much at peace with myself. On the other hand, I was still an active cricketer. I wasn’t prepared to lead a retired cricketer’s life just yet and I was looking forward to resuming practice the next day and doing my best for Mumbai and India in the month I had left.

My practice sessions following the announcement were very interesting. The next morning I went to the Mumbai Cricket Association’s Bandra facility to practise and the groundsmen came over to see me. They all thanked me for my contribution to cricket, when it should have been me thanking them for all they had done for me. Some became quite emotional and said they would miss me now that I wouldn’t be turning up to practise any more. I reminded them that I hadn’t retired quite yet, and in any case I would still come and practise after I’d retired – there was no way I was going to leave them in peace!

The evening before my last session at the MCA, I called the supervisor Ajay Desai and asked him to inform all the groundsmen and helpers that I would like to meet them personally the next morning. It was my way of recognizing everything they had done for me and thanking them for their contribution to my career. I carried tokens of appreciation for them and it was deeply touching to see them all waiting patiently for me. As I thanked them for their help and support, some hugged me and a few had tears in their eyes. It was a very moving moment and I felt humbled. The best part, however, was yet to come. When I’d finished, I was expecting the groundsmen to resume their normal duties. However, to my surprise they announced that on this occasion they weren’t going to leave me. Instead, they all stood there while I went through my routine. Having spent a lifetime with the groundsmen in Mumbai, I must say I was overwhelmed at the gesture.

It was a similar story with the groundsmen at the Wankhede. I have known these men for years and many watched me grow up as a cricketer. Once again I brought tokens of appreciation for all of them and we took a group photograph to mark the occasion. I will always remember the way they treated me.

It was during my early-morning training sessions at the Wankhede that I met up with the MCA officials and told them about the ramp I required for my mother. I did not want to leave a single thing to chance and also checked out the box allocated to my family. In fact, it was when I was doing the initial recce that I realized that my mother would find it difficult. She is not in the best of health and it would have been difficult getting her up to the box from the car. That’s when we decided that she should sit in the president’s box instead and for safety I had also booked a room for her at the Garware Pavilion in case she felt tired and wanted to rest.

Having checked the route the wheelchair would have to take from the car to the ramp and finally to the president’s box, and being fully convinced that it could all be done, I went ahead with the plan of formally inviting her. Being able to do this thing for my mother made the retirement Test match all the more special.

When I first met my team-mates from the Mumbai Ranji Trophy team after the announcement, a lot of them came up and asked me why I had decided to retire when I could have carried on for a while. It was an encouraging reaction and it felt good to see the faith they continued to have in me.

The last Ranji Trophy game I played for Mumbai was in Lahli against Haryana, which is a state just north of Delhi, and it turned out to be quite an experience. Before travelling to Lahli, I spoke with Anirudh Chaudhry, who was our manager in England in 2011, and his father Ranbir Singh Mahendra, who was our manager in Australia in 1991–92, at the Haryana Cricket Association. Anirudh had made special arrangements to put some of us up in the Chief Minister’s guest house, which he said was a very relaxing place to stay. He had also arranged for extra security in order to make us feel comfortable.

We flew to Delhi on our way to Lahli and when we landed we were told by Anirudh that we should have lunch at the ITC Maurya hotel while he made the final arrangements. There was a pleasant surprise awaiting me. As soon as we stepped into the lobby the lights were dimmed and I was accorded a red-carpet welcome by the general manager Anil Chadha, with all the employees standing in line and throwing rose petals at me. It was a deeply touching gesture.