Plum Pudding Murder (32 page)

JEWELED PORK ROAST

5-pound boneless loin of pork, center cut

2 bags mixed dried fruit
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3 Tablespoons butter

3 Tablespoons virgin olive oil

Salt

Freshly ground black pepper

1 cup white wine

1 cup heavy cream

Extra milk

Cut your pork loin into 2 pieces. Each piece should be no longer than 8 inches.

Stand one piece of pork loin on the cut end and run a barbeque skewer all the way down the middle lengthwise, just like you’re skewering a giant hotdog from one end to the other.

Move the skewer around and turn it to enlarge the hole you’ve made through the middle of the pork loin. If you have a second skewer, push it in right next to the first skewer to assist in enlarging the opening.

When you’ve enlarged the hole as much as you can with the skewers, withdraw them and insert the handle of a wooden spoon. Again, twist it around to stretch the meat and enlarge the hole. Work at this until the hole through the middle of the pork loin is large enough for you to insert your finger.

Lay the fruit out on a sheet of wax paper so that you can pick and choose. This is going to be an awe-inspiring entrée if you alternate fruit color as you’re stuffing. Start by examining the prunes to make sure they’re pitted. You don’t want one of your guests to crack a tooth!

Insert a prune into the hole. Push it down to the halfway point with your finger or the end of the wooden spoon. Follow that with an apricot, then a pear, a peach, and two apple slices. Insert as much fruit as you can stuff into the hole.

Now go at it from the other end, stuffing the fruit in random order, alternating types and colors. When your piece of pork loin is chock-full of fruit and it’s practically popping out the ends, either skewer the ends closed or sew them closed with kitchen string and a large needle. (I lived dangerously–I just left mine open and was very, very careful when I browned the pork.)

Repeat with the second half of the pork loin and then heat the butter and olive oil in a skillet large enough to hold both pieces of pork.

Brown the outside of your pork roasts, turning them with tongs so that they’re brown all over. Salt and pepper your pork as you go so it’s seasoned all over.

Take out a roasting pan large enough to hold both roasts and deep enough to also hold the cream, wine, and milk. Spray the inside of the roasting pan with Pam or another nonstick cooking spray and pour in the white wine and cream.

Place the roasts in the roasting pan. If you haven’t sewn or skewered the ends closed, try to jam them up against each other and the sides of the pan so the fruit won’t fall out during baking.

Pour enough milk into the pan so that the liquid comes halfway up the sides of your roasts.

Cover your roaster with the lid or with a piece of heavy foil tucked down around the sides, slip it into the oven, and turn the oven on to 350 degrees F.

Bake the roasts for 2 hours or until the meat no longer resists when poked with the tip of a sharp knife.

Remove the pan from the oven. Remove the foil or cover carefully—steam will escape. Then remove the roasts from the pan and place them on a cutting board, cover them loosely with foil and let them rest for at least 10 minutes. (15 minutes is okay, too.)

Throw away the liquid in the pan. It won’t make good gravy.

When your Jeweled Pork Roasts have rested, use a very sharp knife to slice off the very ends. Then slice the roasts into 1-inch thick pieces and arrange them on a platter.

Pat yourself on the back when you carry the platter to the table and everyone oohs and ahhs. You deserve it.

Yield: Serves 6 to 8 guests.

LINGONBERRY GRAVY (OR APRICOT IF YOU CAN’T FIND LINGONBERRY)

Hannah’s Note: This is not homemade pork gravy. Since you cook the pork in milk, you don’t have all that wonderful brown stuff in the bottom of your pan that makes gravy taste so yummy.

If you want to make this the way my grandma did and you can find lingonberry jam, by all means use it. If you can’t find lingonberry jam, you can substitute apricot jam, seedless raspberry or blackberry jam, or even apple jelly.

3 packets of Pork Gravy Mix (I used Schilling’s—the kind that makes 1 cup of gravy for each packet)

Extra packet of Pork Gravy Mix

½ cup lingonberry jam (or your choice of a substitute jam or jelly)

Make the 3 packets of Pork Gravy Mix following the directions on the package. When it’s ready, add the half-cup of lingonberry jam (or substitute.)

If the jam thins the gravy too much, use as much of the other gravy package as you need to thicken it.

SCANDINAVIAN SPUDS

12 baking potatoes, about 4 inches long and 2 inches wide

2 Tablespoons softened butter (¼ stick, 1 ounce)

8 Tablespoons melted salted butter (1 stick, 4 ounces, ¼ pound)

1 teaspoon salt

2 Tablespoons dried crumbled sweet basil (I used Spice Island sweet basil)

1 teaspoon paprika

4 Tablespoons bread crumbs (I used the flavored kind)

8 Tablespoons cold salted butter (1 stick, 4 ounces, ¼ pound)

Choose a bowl large enough to hold all of the potatoes and fill it with cold water. Add a teaspoon of salt and a squirt of lemon juice to the water. Set it on your counter and…

Peel a potato, rinse it off, and find a wooden spoon or serving spoon that will cradle the peeled potato almost halfway up its sides. Put the spoon on a bunched up towel on the counter so it won’t roll from side to side, and nestle the potato inside. Turn the spoon sideways so that the long side of the potato faces you. Start about a half-inch from the end and slice straight down in quarter-inch intervals, stopping a half-inch from the other end of the potato. The bowl of the spoon will stop your knife from cutting through the potato all the way so that it’s only partially sliced. Drop the partially sliced potato in the cold water so that it won’t discolor and start in on the next one.

Hannah’s Note: The peeling and slicing of the potatoes can be done several hours in advance as long as you store them in cold, salted water in the refrigerator.

If you do slice all the way through a potato, don’t worry. Just bump the two pieces tightly together in your baking pan when the time comes and no one will be the wiser.

One hour and ten minutes before you want to serve your potatoes, preheat your oven to 425 degrees F., rack in the middle position.

Once your oven comes up to temperature, the potatoes will take about one hour from start to finish.

Choose a baking pan that will hold all of your potatoes in a single layer. If you don’t have one that large, use two smaller ones.

Use the 2 Tablespoons of softened butter to coat the inside of your baking pan. (If you have a pretty one that can be carried to the table, by all means use it!)

Take the potatoes out of the water and pat them dry with paper towels. Place them in the buttered pan, cut side up in a single layer.

Drizzle the melted butter over the tops of the potatoes and sprinkle on the salt.

Sprinkle the Scandinavian Spuds with sweet basil and paprika.

DO NOT sprinkle on the bread crumbs yet.

Place your pan in a 425 degree F. oven, UNCOVERED, and set your timer for 30 minutes.

When the time is up, take your pan out of the oven and sprinkle the bread crumbs over the top of your potatoes (the slices will have spread out a bit so some will go between the slices).

Melt the cold stick of butter. Drizzle it over the top of the breadcrumbs.

Slip your pan back into the oven, uncovered, for an additional 25 minutes.

Test your potatoes to make sure they’re done by spearing one gently with a fork. If it shows no resistance, take the pan out of the oven and let the potatoes cool for at least 5 minutes before serving.

Yield: 12 potatoes.

You can cut this recipe in half, of course. Or you can double it if you’ve invited Mike to your Christmas Eve dinner. He’s been known to eat three on occasion.

CRANBERRY SCONES

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F., rack in the middle position.

3 cups all-purpose flour (pack it down in the cup when you measure it)

2 Tablespoons white (granulated) sugar

2 teaspoons cream of tartar (important)

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

½ cup softened salted butter (1 stick, 4 ounces, ¼ pound)

2 large eggs, beaten (just whip them up in a glass with a fork)

1 cup unflavored yogurt (8 ounces)

1 cup sweetened dried cranberries (Craisins, or their equivalent)

½ cup whole milk

Use a medium-size mixing bowl to combine the flour, sugar, cream of tartar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Stir them all up together. Cut in the salted butter just as you would for piecrust dough.

Hannah’s Note: If you have a food processor, you can use it for the first step. Cut ½ cup COLD salted butter into 8 chunks. Layer them with the dry ingredients in the bowl of the food processor. Process with the steel blade until the mixture has the texture of cornmeal. Transfer the mixture to a medium-sized mixing bowl and proceed to the second step.

Stir in the beaten eggs and the unflavored yogurt. Then add the sweetened dried cranberries and mix everything up together.

Add the milk and stir until everything is combined.

Drop the scones by soup spoonfuls onto a greased (or sprayed with Pam or another nonstick baking spray) baking sheet, 12 large scones to a sheet. You can also drop these scones on parchment paper if you prefer.

Once the scones are on the baking sheet, you can wet your fingers and shape them into more perfect rounds. (If you do this and there are any leftovers, you can slice them in half and toast them for breakfast the next morning.)

Bake the scones at 425 degrees F. for 12 to 14 minutes, or until they’re golden brown on top.

Cool the scones for at least five minutes on the cookie sheet, and then remove them with a spatula. Serve them in a towel-lined basket so they stay warm.

Yield: Makes 12 large and delicious scones.

PETITE PEA BOATS

One small orange for every 2 guests

Package of frozen petite peas (or 2 packages, depending on how many guests)

Butter

Salt

Pepper

Crumbled bacon

Small triangles of colored paper for flags

Toothpicks

Cut the oranges in half and scoop out the fruit, leaving two half shells for the boats. You can cut a little off the bottoms of the boats with a sharp knife so that they won’t roll on the serving platter. These “boats” can be made a day ahead and stored in a plastic bag in the refrigerator.

Cook the frozen peas according to package directions. Drain them, and then toss them with butter, salt, and pepper.

Arrange the “boats” on a serving platter. Attach the paper flags to the toothpicks and stick the end of the toothpick into the white part of the orange peel so that it will stand straight up.

Fill the Petite Pea Boats with peas, sprinkle them with crumbled bacon, and serve.

HANNAH SWENSEN’S CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER

Christmas Cheese Rounds

Shrimp Louie Spread

Holiday Squash Soup

Pineapple Cranberry Jell-O Salad

Christmas Bell Salad

Jeweled Pork Roast

Lingonberry Gravy

Scandinavian Spuds

Cranberry Scones

Petite Green Pea Boats

Minnesota Plum Pudding Flambé

PLUM PUDDING MURDER RECIPE INDEX

Easy Cheesy Biscuits

Hot Fudge Sundae Cakes

Holly Jolly Coffee

White Chocolate Pumpkin Dreams

Christmas Cheese Rounds

Pork and Beans Bread

Frosted Ginger Cookies

Minnesota Plum Pudding

Chocolate Chip Pretzel Cookies

Fudge-Mallow Cookie Bars

Christmas Lace Cookies

Triple Threat Chocolate Cheesecake Pie

Banana Chocolate Chip Cookies

Frosting Splatters

Orange Julius Cookies

Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

Chocolate Raspberry Truffles

Dixie Lee’s German Apple Cake

Nancy Dunn Bar Cookies

Shrimp Louie Spread

Holiday Squash Soup

Pineapple Cranberry Jell-O Salad

Christmas Bell Salad

Jeweled Pork Roast

Lingonberry Gravy

Scandinavian Spuds

Cranberry Scones

Petite Pea Boats

Baking Conversion Chart

These conversions are approximate, but they’ll work just fine for Hannah Swensen’s recipes.

VOLUME:

U.S.

Metric

½ teaspoon

2 milliliters

1 teaspoon

5 milliliters

1 tablespoon

15 milliliters

¼ cup

50 milliliters

1/3 cup

75 milliliters

½ cup

125 milliliters

¾ cup

175 milliliters

1 cup

¼ liter

WEIGHT:

U.S.

Metric

1 ounce

28 grams

1 pound

454 grams

OVEN TEMPERATURE:

Degrees Fahrenheit

Degrees Centigrade

British (Regulo) Gas Mark

325 degrees F.

165 degrees C.

3

350 degrees F.

175 degrees C.

4

375 degrees F.

190 degrees C.

5

Note: Hannah’s rectangular sheet cake pan, 9 inches by 13 inches, is approximately 23 centimeters by 32.5 centimeters.