Point Hope (16 page)

They were kids again too, laughing and playing on the beach, their lives and dreams before them. He took several steps to close the distance between them. “Remember when we daydreamed about starting our family?”

“Oh, God, we didn’t have a clue!” She grabbed her hat before the wind got it.

“You wanted a big family.” He looked back toward Candice and Jake. Alex was chasing Summer around them with something gross in his hand. All of them were squealing and prancing. He wouldn’t be surprised to see a big messy pile-up, complete with kite string entwining them all, but so far they were okay.

“They say to be careful what you wish for…” Rosette’s soft voice sounded wistful, but it was hard to tell with so much noise around them. He couldn’t imagine her regretting their family, even if they were through. Today, with so many smiles, he felt things were right. Actually, things were more than right.

He noticed Hope was wiggling around. “She’s awake? I’ll take her. I know you love to fly kites.”

Her carefree grin was all the response he needed.

Rosette flew the butterfly kite while everyone else got a sandcastle under construction, a huge one with four different additions and impressive moats encircling the outer towers.

Trey played with Hope until Summer sat down and held her. She propped the baby on her knees and sang to her,
Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
. She knew several gospel songs, and hearing her sweet voice sing church songs threw him for a loop. He didn’t know her at all. But watching her, he could see how much she loved that little girl. Rosette came back to sit with them and listen.

The kids played another hour before Trey’s stomach made him think about lunch. It’d be a late lunch, but that was okay. Everyone was having fun. “I’m going to head up to the fire pits,” he announced to Rosette. “I’ll get the fire started, and they can play a while longer.”

“All right,” she replied. Rosette didn’t quite smile, but she looked content as she watched the kids.

He gathered some random wood pieces lying around to add to what they’d brought to start a small fire. They always liked to get a bonfire burning to ward off the predictably chilly coastal air, but fires weren’t allowed right on the beach due to the State Park regulations here. He headed to an open fire pit and got a small flame going, enjoying the simple act. He nudged the wood, positioning it in the pit so the flames would take hold. It’d gotten later than he realized. The sun was already slanting toward the ocean. He could glimpse his kids, still running around on the beach along with a few other families, silhouetted against the calm bay and rocky outcroppings on both sides. Tall trees further shielded the bay, producing one of the calmest spots to swim and play on the Oregon coast. Not for the first time, he felt a huge sense of thankfulness for living so close to such natural beauty.

A bald eagle soared over the bay and flew inland. They hadn’t looked for wildlife on this beach trip. Usually they walked out on the rocks to explore the tide pools full of colorful sea anemones, hermit crabs, starfish, and other sea life. On their last trip, they’d found a big, spiky purple sea urchin.  He had picked it up for the kids and had felt the spikes moving.

The fire began to burn brighter as Rosette brought everyone up from the beach. The image of his family, all wearing white—rather sandy and wrinkled as it was—about stopped his heart. He thought about the color white and everything it symbolized, and an odd fact struck him. Something from science class a long time ago: Sunlight is white light made up of all the colors. White is unity and goodness.

Another thought came to mind: it takes work to keep anything white. If you never wash a white shirt, it doesn’t stay white. The thought lingered there, as if he should get more out of it, as his family approached.

He looked up at Rosette as she drew near, but before he saw her face, Jake plowed into him, delivering a cold, wet hug. “Daaaad!”

Alex had thought ahead and stopped by the car for their sturdy wagon, loaded with camping chairs, the cooler, and several bags.

“Can I feed Hope?” Jake asked as they settled in around the fire pit. The fire popped and started to give off real heat. Trey pulled his chair close to start the hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. Rosette supervised as Jake offered the little bottle to Hope. He wiggled close and propped his little boy face on his fist. He took this job very seriously.

“Can Hope call you Mommy too?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the baby.

That grabbed Candice’s attention. The kids had high-tech, super-selective hearing that could immediately pick up any kid-related conversation. It wasn’t just the little kids this time. Summer and Alex both stopped what they were doing too.

Rosette glanced at Trey with a deer-in-the-headlights look. He tried to offer a small nod that the kids wouldn’t see. “Of course she can, honey, when she’s bigger.”

“Cause her mommy is gone?” Jake asked.

Candice leaned over Hope, who was sucking on her bottle for all she was worth and watching her two favorite kiddos. “Did you hear that Hope? Our mommy is your mommy too.”

Trey peeked at Alex, hoping today was everything Alex had wished for. Life wasn’t perfect by any means, but today was.  

Trey poked the hotdogs and announced, “These are done. Who’s hungry?”

You can’t get a much better meal than sizzling hotdogs, homemade hamburgers, and roasted marshmallows, all cooked over a campfire on the beach. At least that’s how Trey felt, laughing and talking with his family, not having a care in the world.

“Hey, Daddy, do you think a squirrel lives in there?” Candice was peering up into the trees behind them, pointing at something. He turned and saw a large hole in the trunk of a fir tree, about forty feet up, where a branch had broken off. “It looks like a good squirrel home,” she added.

“It sure does.” There were two small branches jutting out under the hole. Jake joined in with his ideas about an owl that lived there. The kids spent a good ten minutes discussing the home in the tree and what could live there. It was more than just a home, though. They were making stories about families with a mom and a dad and animal friends that would visit.

Simultaneously, Trey felt good about giving his kids a secure home but also horrible that he’d been reckless enough to potentially lose it all. His marriage wasn’t just about him, or even just about him and Rosette. He looked down at his wedding ring, and a minute later heard the kids run off to the beach again. Alex and Summer were with the kids, so he felt okay letting them go. Hope had fallen asleep in her car seat, and Rosette was dozing on a blanket on the ground.

It’d be the perfect time for an honest talk, except she desperately needed that sleep. He leaned back and looked out across the sand and bay, watching the water as the sun headed westward. It was a day much like this one, a long time ago, when he’d sat by a fire on the beach with his dad and two brothers. Ricky had been in high school. Alex was just a baby in Trey’s arms then. They’d lost their mother just a year before.

When things get tough
, his dad said,
think of us. Think of your family. We’ll be here.

The next day Trey left for basic training, and things got very tough, and he did think about his family.

The sun began to set, and the thin clouds that were building up on the horizon caught the pink and orange rays. Soon the sky and the world around them were a soft, warm shade of melting sherbet. The kids were running back to them.

“Mom! Dad!” Jake yelled. “Come play before we have to go home!” He grabbed Trey’s hand and started off. He looked genuinely surprised that he couldn’t pull his dad right up out of his chair.

Only one of Rosette’s eyes was visible. It slowly opened.

“Come on, Mom!”

Trey let Jake pull him toward the beach, looking back to check if Rosette was coming. Doing so, he nearly ran into Summer and Alex, who were headed to the warm fire. They flopped down on the blanket like they’d just run a marathon; chasing two kids almost qualified.

Jake let go of his dad’s hand and ran down toward the water. Candice was right behind. They reached the water’s edge and stood side by side, holding hands. It was just too picturesque to break up, even if their feet had to be numb from the cold water.

They held onto each other and screamed, scampering back from the waves. “Get me, Daddy!” Jake yelled. Trey took his son’s hand and noticed Rosette had made it down to the water’s edge, although she was covering a yawn.

“Get me too, Mommy!” Candice shrieked.

Rosette took Candice’s hand, and Trey thought,
the kids never doubt this family’s unity
.

“Onnne, twooo….” Jake counted down. When he hit three, the kids pulled them toward the water.

It wasn’t something they’d done before, and no one explained it, but Trey and Rosette both knew the kids wanted them to pull them up and over the incoming wave.

They swung the kids over the bubbling, churning water and then back again.

“Again! Again!” Jake squealed.

Candice screamed at the same time. “That big one over there!”

They ran toward the wave, splashing in the freezing cold water as it retreated under their feet. Trey looked at Jake, Candice, and then over at Rosette. She was smiling along with the kids, her face lit up. They ran at the waves until their feet couldn’t take the cold any longer. By that time, Jake and Candice were about done too. They just didn’t want to admit it.

“All right, time to head back up. I don’t feel like amputating any feet today.”

Two little sets of shoulders tiredly slumped as they walked, as slowly as possible, up the short beach toward the fire. Caught up in the moment, Trey reached over to slide his arm around Rosette’s waist.

She stepped out of his reach. She didn’t look his way or say anything, just kept walking. He wanted to say something about family and love, but they were too close to the kids.

Alex and Summer were roasting marshmallows and making s’mores. Trey glanced at Rosette, tucked away his feelings, and sat down with everyone. The sun was going down, and it was time to put on jackets and layer pants over their shorts. The milky twilight faded as the fire grew brighter, and Trey looked around at the faces watching the flames. He wondered if anyone else had thought about how Ricky and Amanda weren’t there. A few months ago, he’d pictured all of them together in the summer, going to the beach and having barbeques. Ricky would have been home from duty to be with Amanda and their baby. He could still picture it so clearly in his mind.

Life changes. He knew that. The question was, could he accept it and get on with his own life?

Much later that night when everyone was showered and in bed, Trey went out onto the tiny balcony off their bedroom. Rosette was in bed, either fast asleep or pretending to be. Usually he could tell. It scared him a bit that he couldn’t tonight.

He only knew he wanted her, had reached for her, but she didn’t want him anymore.

Settling in the old wicker chair, he pulled his grandfather’s pipe out and pushed a pinch of tobacco in. He lit it and puffed it to get it going. The sweet scent of far-off memories filled the air. He hated cigarettes, but he’d always loved the smell of Grandpa’s pipe.

He wanted to sit on his Grandpa’s knee and tell him the problem.

Oh, you see, son, that’s an easy fix.

It always had been. Grandfathers had a way of making life simple and easy to live, if you just did the right thing. What was the right thing here? Let Rosette go, so she could be happy?

His thoughts shifted to his father. Dad had seen and understood the harder side of life, or maybe was more affected by it. Whatever the cause, Trey and his father could discuss life problems and complicated situations. He pictured his dad sitting there with him and wondered what he’d say.

Fight for her. What else are you going to do?

He almost laughed. His dad would say that, wouldn’t he?

Chapter Fourteen

Trey had just started up the stairs to get Alex, when he headed down. Alex was dressed in a blue, long-sleeved shirt and jeans, his wavy locks brushed a little neater than usual, but still long. He glanced in the mirror hanging at the bottom of the staircase.

Was he nervous about taking his driving test, or was there more to it?

“We can put all this off, it the timing bothers you.” Trey rested a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Turning sixteen, getting your license, that’s all a big deal. If you want to wait to go in, I’ll understand.” On top of the timing, he hadn’t taken Alex out to drive in the last couple of weeks.

Alex twisted his mouth, thinking. “Is it wrong if I want to go ahead and do it?”

 “No, of course not.” Trey searched for something meaningful to add, but everything that came to mind sounded too mushy. He knew a thing or two about survivor’s guilt, but the part he didn’t yet know was how to beat it.

“Okay.” Alex pulled in a breath, nodding. “Let’s go. It’s almost my appointment time anyway.”

Rosette came out of the kitchen, where she must have been listening. She grabbed Alex in a hug, something she could still get away with. “You’ll do great.”

“Thanks.”

Trey opened the door to the garage and led the way out.

Rosette followed Alex. “Just be polite to the tester. And respectful. Don’t rush anything, either. Just take your time, and remember you’re a good driver.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Alex called back. He didn’t let her see the smile on his face, but Trey did.

Trey handed him the keys. “Why don’t you drive and get warmed up?” They were taking the family car instead of Alex’s race car.

He used to get nervous when Alex pulled out of the garage, but the kid knew how to back up. He did fine and soon they were driving down the highway at exactly the speed limit.

“On the test, you might want to go a mile or two under.”

“Does that help?”

“I don’t know.” Trey laughed and decided that was enough advice. He watched out the window instead. It was nice sitting in the passenger seat for a change. Tall firs and cedars lined the section of the road by their house, supplemented with heavy underbrush, giving the impression that they were far out in the country. There were even small farms on the other side, with cows and sheep milling around the fenced pastures. Soon after that, however, came more houses, a couple of mini-marts, a plain hotel, the tribal offices and housing, and a few trailer parks. Dairy Queen came and went on the left side. Trey couldn’t begin to count the times they’d stopped there. Soon they reached Charleston, the tiny harbor town nestled by the bridge. It had a few really great restaurants, a store with smoked salmon sticks, and boats galore. It was eight-fifteen in the morning, so some commuters were driving to work. The traffic didn’t seem to bother Alex at all on the highway. They were approaching the junction with Seven Devils Highway and then would head up onto the bridge.