Point Hope (8 page)

~  ~ ~

“We’re thinking… Hope.” Rosette looked at Angel, who was holding the baby, and then toward Summer. So far, Summer continued to say she couldn’t take the baby, even though she was Amanda’s sister. Legally, Rosette had learned, Amanda couldn’t ever adopt a baby because she was a felon. It’d been something stupid she’d done a few years back, but it would follow her for the rest of her life.

Rosette glanced at Leena but waited another second before looking at Trey. They’d been hesitant to even discuss names after Jake’s initial suggestion, but the baby was now six days old.

“Maybe,” she added, “Hope Amanda Sinclair.”

“Didn’t Amanda…” Leena trailed off as the rest of them looked at her. She stole a glance at Trey.

He shook his head. “Ricky and Amanda were waiting to pick out a name together when he returned home. They thought they still had time.”

“Hope.” Angel turned the name around in her mouth, leaning closer to the baby. “That’s a pretty name…for such a beautiful little girl.”

That baby girl was drifting off to sleep, her tummy full and her eyelids drooping lower and lower.

“Jake suggested it.” Rosette wanted to keep the conversation going. It was becoming a strain to talk to so many people, and she was tired of rehashing the same conversations. She glanced at Leena, surprised that she wished Leena would go home. They’d been neighbors for several years. In the beginning, she had reached out to the younger woman, thinking they’d be friends. They were only five or so years apart in age. Despite Leena’s easy-going personality, the two of them didn’t connect. They were friendly. They talked here and there. But, despite Rosette’s invites, they hadn’t gone out together to a movie, lunch, or anything social—just an occasional large-group gathering at each other’s homes. Maybe that was enough.

“Rosette,” Trey said. “You could get that walk in while the baby’s sleeping.”

“Oh!” Angel looked up. “Good idea. It’s about time I got you out into some fresh air.”

Trey stood and Angel shifted to pass the baby to him. Rosette stood too, dreading the thought of being alone with Angel. The feeling startled her.

Summer had picked up a novel from the end table. Either she was reading or pretending to. Rosette was a bit surprised that Leena was still sitting there, though.

“Oh, I’d better get home too.” Leena still seemed to hesitate as she stood and started toward the side French doors.

“Thanks for coming over,” Rosette called. “We should get together more.” The words came out before she thought it through. They could easily invite Leena on their walk, but she didn’t really want to.

No one followed up on her comment as they said goodbye. Rosette called “thanks” to Trey as she followed Angel out the door, into the breeze, pulling on her jacket as she went. It would be nice to get out of the house after several days of sitting with a baby and constantly visiting with friends and family.

Rosette fell into step beside Angel, and they walked through the backyard to the stairs. They paused for a minute, looking at the view. The ocean roared as always, endless waves washing in, hypnotizing in their endless rhythm. Huge globs of clouds zipped across the blue sky like they were racing. The wind played over them, a feeling Rosette had always loved. It made it her alive. Today it reminded her she was still alive.

Even her friend closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation. Angel was a mix of Mexican, Hawaiian, and a few other ethnic groups, which gave her gorgeous, shiny black hair and warm brown skin. She didn’t flaunt her beauty. Actually, she didn’t seem to notice it. She usually had her hair braided or pulled back into a mix of clips and a ponytail, and she hardly wore any makeup. Maybe she didn’t wear any—just had naturally full and black eyelashes.

As they started down, Angel slipped her arm through Rosette’s. “This is all so crazy.”

Rosette burst out laughing. Yup, she’d cracked. “Oh, I had no idea how badly I needed this!”

“I thought you were going to argue with me back there. You didn’t look like you wanted to come.”

“I didn’t want to think about things. Any more than I already am, I guess.”

Descending the stairs made them breathless, so they were quiet until they reached the beach.

“So,” Angel said, flicking a meaningful look over Rosette’s face. “Is it just the stuff I know about that’s going on?”

Rosette tried for a blank face as she looked at her friend. She almost said, “Isn’t it enough?” But she didn’t speak. She met Angel’s eyes for a second and then had to look away.
Where to begin? Should she share any of this?

They started down toward the ocean, and Angel patiently waited. A recent rain had left an intricate pattern in the sand. Rosette studied that as they walked, until they cleared the brush and could see the ocean.

“Start with the smallest.” Angel pushed her hands into her jacket pockets and watched Rosette for a minute.

“There aren’t any small things.” She turned and walked a ways from the path and sat down on a washed-up log. Most often, they walked down to the water and continued along the beach. But that was too much right now. “Okay… I don’t know much about what happened that night, but I wonder if Amanda…”

“Tried to get in an accident?”

That was a prettier way of saying it. She looked down and felt her eyes tearing up. Angel put her arm across Rosette’s shoulders.

“There isn’t any way to know or even guess, is there?” Angel asked.

Rosette shrugged under Angel’s arm. “But did I miss something? Should I have stayed with her?”

Angel knew better than to answer. They watched the waves crash in and a seagull playing in the wind. It hovered like a kite, tilting this way and that without moving forward.

She was moving forward in life, wasn’t she? Her kids were relatively happy, outside of the recent tragedy. Did anything else matter?

“I’m worried about you. I mean, after all of this, you weren’t expecting to have another baby in the house. I know how hard it is when they’re up all night and need constant care.”

“Angel.” It took entirely too much effort to get that word out. The rest were even harder. “Trey and I were talking about splitting up when we heard about Ricky.” She let that sink in for a while before even glancing over.

“Oh.” Angel looked confused and let down, like she’d received bad news personally. “You’ve never acted like anything’s wrong, or said anything about you and Trey having problems.” She didn’t have anger in her voice, thankfully. Rosette shrugged, unable to speak through her tears. “So…what will you do now?”

She leaned back, pulling in a breath, fighting away her emotions so she could talk. “We agreed to focus on the kids and get through the funeral. But after that, we got the call about Amanda.” Her voice caught on the name. It still seemed like Amanda would come home any minute—just walk through the door and scoop up her baby.

“And now it’s all in limbo.” Angel wrapped her other arm around Rosette. “Oh, my God, Rosy.”

“It’s just like my parents, but it’s me this time.
Me
who will be hurting my kids.”

Angel was holding her breath. Rosette’s words were enough to explain a much bigger picture. Angel had been there for Rosette when her parents divorced; she knew how ugly it’d been and how much it had scared Rosette. Her dad was gone now, and so was her mom for all intents and purposes. They hardly spoke.

They watched a man in a tan raincoat stroll by with his German Shepherd, down by the wet sand in front of the waves.

“A few weeks ago, Alex had a friend over.” Rosette actually felt like that’d been a year ago because so much had happened since. “I overheard them talking, and TJ asked Alex what it was like living with us. I couldn’t hear everything they said, but I heard Alex say I’m like his sister-in-law and his mom wrapped into one.” Rosette dreaded facing the fact that she might lose Alex if she lost Trey.
When
she lost Trey, actually.

Angel held her a long time. “Is there someone else?”

Rosette almost snorted. She twisted her head. “Would I ever do anything…” She realized too late that Angel wasn’t talking about her. After all, why would Angel ever suspect her of anything like that? No one would ever guess that she had once kissed Ricky.

But how had she not thought of Trey possibly having someone else? Who, though? He didn’t spend much time around any other women. “I really don’t think he could.”

“I could ask Mitch to talk to him.”

“No!” Rosette startled herself along with Angel. “No, please don’t tell anyone, not even Mitch.” She couldn’t handle the thought of other people knowing their marriage was falling apart. They’d think the worst of her—deserting Trey after he lost his brother. Their kids were still little, and they had Alex to think about too. And tiny Hope. Someday Hope would figure all this out and realize no one had wanted her. Rosette would look like a bad wife and mother…and the kids might hear other people talking too. Of course, they would learn about it at some point, but she didn’t want to think that far ahead.

“Trey has never hinted, or acted weird, or said something odd? I just wondered...” Angel looked away, but there had been something in her eyes.

“Angel?”

“I got a weird vibe from Leena. Maybe between them, too.”

Leena, from next door?
“Don’t you think I’d get a weird feeling if there was something there?” As Rosette said the words, she remembered how Trey had been so nice and said she could go for a walk…and Leena had seemed like she wanted to stick around.

~  ~ ~

The heat in the house almost stung her skin after several hours on the brisk, windy beach. Rosette checked first to see if Leena was there; she wasn’t. She walked by Trey, taking in the picture of him holding the baby to his chest. His smiling face was soft and loving as he murmured to her. There was love in his eyes. The image might have warmed her heart at another time, but after her conversation with Angel, he looked different to her. She
felt
different about him. She wondered how life could change so quickly, but that seemed like a very dumb question given recent events.

He looked up at her. “I talked to the social worker. The birth certificate is filled out now…with Hope Amanda.”

So he had decided to go with her choice for a middle name. Tears poked at her eyes, surprising her.
Thank you
. She wanted to say it but couldn’t. She nodded and left, her feelings too raw to talk to him.

Candice and Jake were lying on the floor in the family room watching
Cars
again. (Again? Did they convince Alex to let them start that one? She had every line memorized.) It was at the scene where Mater took Lightning McQueen cow tipping, only the cows were actually tractors. Alex was flopped across the couch, busy with some device, either texting his friends or playing on his DSi. She couldn’t see to tell which.

She kept going until she reached the office, where she shut the door and sat down. This was her home, but today she had the weird feeling that she didn’t belong here. She had painted the rooms, decorated the walls, and hung her driftwood carvings on the outside, but now it felt like Trey’s home and not theirs.

What if Trey were in love with someone else, and that’s what all this was about? Maybe he was picturing another woman here with him. Maybe he was eager to be with her. Maybe he
had
been with her.

What would he think if he knew she had kissed Ricky? Maybe it had been that easy for him too. Had she lost her marriage before all this… and just hadn’t known it until now?

Chapter Eight

Alex was standing in the living room, peering through the curtains, when Rosette walked into the room. It was Saturday morning and she’d slept in, which felt like a miracle with so many kids and a baby in the house. Trey had gotten up with them, and she guessed Alex had helped. The extra sleep probably saved her sanity.

“Alex?”

He stepped back in a hurry. After a glance at her face, he blurted, “There’s this girl walking by…”

She smiled, and it felt so good that she wanted to start laughing. Or crying.

“No, it’s not like that. I mean, she is pretty, but it’s the second time I’ve seen her walking by.”

That
did
sound like it was a teenage boy kind of thing. Rosette crept up to the curtain and peeked through. A girl was just past the house, looking back. She wore a knitted green hat, pulled down over long blond hair, and a green jacket with jeans. Just a typical high school kid. She turned away just before Rosette could get a good look at her face.

 “So you’re stalking her while she’s stalking us?” Rosette started to laugh, but Alex’s face was so serious.

“She watched the house a long time.”

Hmm. Maybe the girl had heard about Ricky and Amanda, and how their baby was an orphan, but why would she be walking by their house twice and staring? And maybe she had walked by more times than that. Or, what if that wasn’t it? What if that girl and Trey… She shivered but it turned into a shudder. Of course, she couldn’t mention that possibility to Alex.

“You know, she probably lives around here. Maybe she’s just curious about everything that’s happened. Or maybe she thinks you’re cute!” She didn’t want him dwelling on it, not when it could be…

Alex fought off a blush and noticed she was holding two ping pong paddles in her hand.

“You promised me a rematch.” It’d been a month or more since that last game, and she wanted to spend some time with him.

He grabbed one of the paddles. “I can’t promise I’ll let you win!”

She followed him through the house and out the back French doors, feeling like life was normal for a minute. He got several balls from the small bin and stuck a few in his pocket before hitting a warm up serve. They “pinged” for first serve without talking.

Rosette was proud of their backyard, of the small greenhouse and landscaping, and how they had incorporated family fun into it. Alex had helped Trey pour the concrete for an outdoor fire pit. It turned out better than she’d expected: it was an ornate-looking stone pit with inlaid stones of pastel pink, orange, light brown, and gray.