Populazzi (24 page)

"I know, but I have to do what she says. I get caught in a lie tonight and I'm dead."

"I could pretend to be his mother," Claudia said. "I could do a fake voice."

She proceeded to try out several fake voices, all of which sounded exactly like Claudia putting on a fake voice.

We were doomed.

We pulled up to Eddie's car-lined street and found a spot about four houses away. Our time was running out. If mom didn't get her phone call soon, she'd get suspicious.

"One other option," Claudia said. "We call your mom and say we're coming back because there's no adult supervision. We miss the party, but it's better than admitting the truth to the Populazzi.
And
it makes you look astoundingly responsible."

I heard her, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was distracted by the two guys racing around the front yard next to us.

Two guys in
BeastSlayer
cloaks.

"Cara?" Claudia said. "What do you think? Should we call your mom?"

"Not yet. I might have an idea."

I got out of the car and beelined for the guys, who had unsheathed giant swords and were now in the heat of battle.

"Hey," I said, then screamed and leaped away as the follow-through from a parry nearly gutted me.

"Are you crazy?" Gabe Friedman screamed, throwing back the hood of his cloak. "I could have killed you! These are real broadswords!"

"They're fairly dulled," Robert Schwarner said, "but at the right angle and velocity, they could still offer a decent disem-boweling. I have another if you'd care to join. Or perhaps you and your fellow damsel might prefer the quarterstaff." He turned to Claudia. "My lady?"

"Hi," Claudia said. "Cara, can I talk to you?"

She pulled me several feet away and whisper-hissed, "Two words: Happy Hopeless."

"I'm aware. But this particular Happy Hopeless also has a deep voice my mom won't recognize."

"So you want to bring an uninvited Happy Hopeless to a Populazzi party, then ask for the phone so he can call your mom? What are you trying to do,
immolate
the Ladder?"

A high-pitched growly voice piped up from behind Claudia. "Help you I can. Yes! Mmmmm!"

I blushed bright red. Yes, Robert was a Happy Hopeless, but I would never call him that to his face. I liked him. But with the stealth of a true BeastSlayer, he had crept into earshot of our conversation and was now answering us as Yoda.

"Robert, oh my God—I am
so
sorry. You weren't supposed to hear that. I know, that sounds even worse. You have every right to be angry—"

"Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." Robert looked me in the eye. "I sense much fear in you."

I gaped. For not the first time, I wondered if Robert was my own personal Dalai Lama.

Claudia didn't share my curiosity. "We need to leave," she said.

"You don't," Robert said in his regular voice. "Eddie and I used to be friends. I know the house. We can go in the side door, I'll use the laundry room phone to call your mom, then you go join the party and I'll slip out. No one will know I was there with you."

"Are you kidding?" Gabe said. "Why would you do anything to help them? They're users!"

Robert ignored him. "I'll be right back."

"Fine," Gabe retorted. "You're only giving me a chance to perfect my technique. When you return, you'll eat cold steel!"

But we were already crossing the street toward Eddie's house. I still felt guilty.

"You're not horribly insulted by what we said?" I asked Robert.

"Why?" he replied.

I couldn't answer without insulting him even more, so I didn't bother.

Robert, Claudia, and I kept to the shadows. No one saw us approaching Eddie's side door. It was locked, but Robert knew the extra key was hidden behind the bushes, in the casing for an outdoor electrical outlet. We went right into the laundry room. Sure enough, there was a phone on the wall.

Robert said the Riegerts didn't block caller ID, so I gave him the number and he dialed. I worried a little that someone might hear us, but music blared so loudly from the other room that we had to be okay.

"Hello, Mrs. Leonard?" Robert asked.

"Ralston." I hissed Karl's last name at the same time my mom must have.

"Ralston, of course—I'm sorry. This is Brad Riegert. Your daughter, Cara, asked me to call you and let you know she arrived safely ... Yes, my wife and I are here for the night ... Not at all. I appreciate your concern ... Of course. Take care now."

Robert handed me the phone. Apparently Mom wanted to talk to me. I hoped it was something quick. I was in awe that Robert had managed to say so much without once invoking
Star Wars
—I didn't want to push my luck.

"Hi, Mom."

"I'm proud of you, Cara," Mom said. "Thank you. Have a great time."

"Thanks, Mom. We will."

I hung up and turned to thank Robert, but he was already out the door. I turned to Claudia and smiled.

"Should we go in?"

Popping into the party from the laundry room seemed risky. Probably no one would notice, but if someone did, it would be tough to explain. Instead, we slid out the side door and walked to the front, making sure no one saw us lurking in the shadows.

"Wait," Claudia said as I was about to open the door. "We stick together tonight, right?"

Claudia shifted uncomfortably, tugging on her hem and adjusting her jacket. Was she nervous?

"We totally stick together."

Claudia nodded. I opened the door, and we walked into our first Populazzi party.

Despite the title, not all the guests were Populazzi. They were there in force: all the juniors, a few seniors, a bunch of sophomores, even a couple freshman Populazzi had made the cut. But the house was full, and a lot of the partiers were plucked from upper-level Cubby Crews, like the Cosmopolitans, the Jocks, the Alts, the Cheer-Girls (Cheer-Boys were so
not
upper-level), and the Scenesters.

Claude and I did a recon loop. The living room was all about people playing and watching Wii on a big-screen TV. The kitchen was packed with people, food, and drinks—including a keg of beer. The dining room was the heart of the party. All the furniture had been pushed against the wall, and a docked iPod blared old-school funk for everyone on the crowded floor.

Trista Camello danced in the absolute center of the room, surrounded by friends and admirers. She wore a black strapless, lacy sheath of a dress with an impossibly high hemline. No one else at Chrysella could pull off that look. On her it looked perfectly natural.

"Behold the Supreme Populazzi," I whispered to Claudia.

"You think?" Claudia whispered back. "I can already feel myself falling into orbit."

That was exactly it. Trista was the sun. The whole party rotated around her gravitational center. She dazzled with heat and light. The closer you were to her, the hotter and brighter you glowed, too.

I was so grateful Claudia was there. On my own I'd have felt awkward and out of place. With her by my side, the party felt like a grand sociological experiment arranged just for us. We'd love every second.

I was about to point out the rest of the guest highlights when I felt someone sidle behind us. A low voice said, "Hey ... you don't go to Chrysella, do you?"

It was Marsh Kinsey, a junior class Penultimate. He was meltworthy ... and he was staring at Claudia like she was a work of art.

"I don't," she said simply.

Claudia never said anything simply.

Then she smiled shyly.

Shyly?

"I didn't think so," Marsh said. "If I'd seen you around, we'd definitely have been hanging."

That
was his line? I tried to catch Claudia's eye, but she was all about Marsh.

"I'm Claudia," she said.

"You're beautiful," he replied. "You like dancing?"

"I love it," Claudia said—
which was a total lie!

Marsh took her hand and led her closer to the sun. Of course they looked beautiful together, dancing in Trista's glow. Marsh's eyes seemed glued to Claudia, but when he finally glanced away, she looked at me and mouthed,
OH MY GOD!

Wait—didn't Marsh have a girlfriend? I'd always seen him in the halls with Ree-Ree Wenderoth, another junior class Penultimate. I looked around, but Ree-Ree wasn't in the room. Had I seen her in the living room or kitchen? I couldn't remember for sure, but I didn't think so. Was she sick? Was Marsh fooling around on her? I doubted it. Ree-Ree was one of Trista's girls. If Marsh was fooling around on her, Trista would have to say something or at least look unhappy about it, right?

Marsh and Ree-Ree must have broken up. And Claudia was his rebound girl. Awesome.

I was psyched for Claudia, but I was also exactly where I didn't want to be: alone at a Populazzi party. I was very aware of standing by myself, watching the Populazzi dance. If people noticed me, they'd think I was pathetic. I had to move.

I wandered back to the living room. Eddie Riegert and another guy were having a Wii Sports Resort sword duel. I wondered how they'd react if they knew they were playing pretty much the exact same game as the two Happy Hopeless across the street. Then again, Robert had said he and Eddie used to be friends, so maybe it wasn't that big a coincidence after all.

I scanned the crowd for friendly faces and found none, so I kept moving. The kitchen was packed with groups of twos, threes, and fours, all midconversation. If I were Trista, I could hop into any of these groups with the perfect anecdote and instantly hold everyone in thrall.

But I was me. I had no clue what to say.

I strode to the snack table, a girl on a mission. A fake mission, but no one else had to know that. I filled five large paper cups with potato chips, pretzels, and M&M's—enough food to share with the whole group of fictitious friends waiting for me in the other room.

It was good to have something specific to do. I wanted it to last. I pored through a cooler, comparing every can of Diet Coke so I could choose one that had reached exactly the right temperature. I started off, then doubled back with a fake look of recognition, as if I'd just remembered the snack request of one more friend. I filled a sixth cup with corn chips.

I couldn't stretch my one-woman show any longer, but it had already been a while. Maybe Claudia was done dancing.

I balanced my snacks and walked into the dining room. Claudia and Marsh weren't there. I found them in the living room, curled together on a love seat. Claudia was speaking passionately about something, which was good—it meant she was back to being herself. Even better was the fact that Marsh looked totally into it ... and totally into her.

Things were going well, and there was no way I was going to interrupt. Unfortunately, that left me with nothing to do. If I'd been alone, I'd have slipped out and gone home, but I couldn't leave Claudia. That left me stuck in a sea of social elites who at any moment would realize that A) I clearly didn't belong here, and B) I had an absurdly large appetite.

I made sure no one was watching, then headed back toward the laundry room. I wondered how long I could hide out back there without anyone noticing. I wondered if Robert really did have an extra broadsword.

I was almost out of the living room when the front door opened, and the last person in the world I expected to see at a Populazzi party arrived.

Nate Wetherill.

I didn't think Nate
ever
came to things like this.

He looked pained and wild-eyed. He staggered in a few steps, then wailed, "Has anyone seen Cara Leonard?"

Oh. My. God.

I quickly crept into the shadows of the hallway.

"
Please,
" Nate cried again, even louder this time. "Has anyone seen Cara Leonard?"

He had everyone's attention now. Several voices buzzed that they'd seen me around somewhere, which was almost gratifying enough to negate the far greater number of voices asking, "Who?"

"I want to play you all a song I wrote about Cara Leonard," Nate said, "the woman who corroded my heart away in an acid bath of antipathy. Cara, if you're listening, this is for you. It's called...'Succubus.'"

He started playing, and I knew the tune immediately. It was the song he'd written for me. He had said before it was about my first experience with pot but he hadn't come up with the right words to describe it. Words didn't seem to be an issue anymore.

"
Of this one thing I am sure
Cara Leonard is a whore
Or at least that's how she acted in my bed...
"

I thought of Claudia sitting on the love seat. It was a crime that I couldn't see her face from my hiding spot.

"
Sucked my soul and spirit dry
Ripped my heart out, let it fry
Then danced naked in my entrails while I bled.
"

Nate looked my way. I ducked farther back into the shadows just in time. I was still way too close. I slid into the laundry room as he launched into his hard-rocking chorus.

"
Suc-suc-succubus
My rotting heart is covered in pus.
Suc-suc-succubus
The putrid corpse of the two of us.
"

I wondered which death would be less painful: running myself through the washer or the dryer.

"That guy is megatalented. How often do you hear the word 'putrid' in a song?"

It was Eddie Riegert. I wanted to disappear. "You're not going to tell him I'm in here, are you?" I asked. "Are you kidding? He's got the whole crowd with him. You think I'm gonna get in the way of that?"

Sure enough, all the party guests were singing along now. "
Suc-suc-succubus / My rotting heart is covered in pus...
"

"I swear, he wasn't even interested in me when we were together," I told Eddie. "I don't get it."

"He's
e-mo
," Eddie said, dragging out the word. "For emotional. He feels things
deeper
than the rest of us." Then he looked at me and smirked. "But you know all about that, right? That's your scene."