Possession: A Little Harmless Military Romance (4 page)

“God, that sounds good.”

She shifted to slide down to the mattress, but he kept his arm there to keep her close to him. “What sounds good?”

He looked at her and brushed her curls from her face. “Your laugh. I love the sound, always did.”

Her heart did a little jerk. Definitely something was up. “What’s wrong?”

“What?”

She rose and settled her weight on her elbows. “There has to be something wrong. You are being way too sweet.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t do a very good job of showing you affection if a compliment like that makes you think there is something wrong.”

“We didn’t always have time for it.”

And that was the truth. They had fallen together out of lust and found love. But marriage to a Seal was particularly hard. They were never around, and when Deke was around, they were either fighting or making love.

“I should have made time.”

Tears burned the backs of her eyes, and her vision started to waver.

“Oh, don’t cry.” He gave her a quick, sweet kiss. “It’s not you. It’s me. And we only have tonight, so let’s not talk about regrets.”

She pulled in a deep breath and nodded.

“Be right back.”

He hurried off to the bathroom, probably to toss the condom, then returned, slipped into bed and settled against the pillow. He patted his shoulder. “Come on.”

She didn’t hesitate. She set her head down, thinking it would take forever to fall asleep.

It was her last thought before she drifted off.

Chapter Four

Deke watched Samantha sleep. It had never been this good between them. They had always had good sex. That had never been a problem, but it had caused others. It was one of the reasons they had found BDSM. They seemed to have no real control around each other, and at least in that, they could control it somewhat.

He brushed a curl back over her shoulder and noticed his hand was shaking. She was unmanning him. The sad thing was she never understood her power over him. He could never really break free, and now that he was ten years older, he didn’t want to. Their issues stemmed from their tempers, along with the love. It was hard to be so in love with someone that it hurt.

But Deke didn’t want it any other way.

He would have to build their relationship. They knew each other, but they hadn’t spent the time to appreciate it before. They would now. Samantha wasn’t ready for more than that yet. Not yet. She was a world-class arguer, as he was. Tonight, though, he knew he was right about his plans. They had just shifted to Hawaii instead of Coronado. Not a bad thing.

He traced his hand down her back. She was the prize. From the moment he met her, she was the one for him. He would never be able to find another like her. She drove him crazy, but in these moments, when everything was quiet, he felt at peace. No one had ever given him that but her.

He had fucked it up bad last time. They were both at fault all those years ago, but he knew without a doubt a lot of it was his doing. He’d been older, should have been wiser. With Samantha, though, being wise had never been part of the bargain.  He’d been in lust before her, but he’d never been that crazy about a woman. He’d not been able to rest until she was his, and once he’d had her, he’d married her because he wanted to keep her.

But that had fizzled in less than twelve months. Ten years later and they still couldn’t walk away. He couldn’t. Not now. Now he wanted her, needed her in a way that was almost embarrassing. The mission that had almost done them in had taught him waiting was wrong.

He brushed her hair aside to set his mouth on her back. He kissed her, working his way down her spine. He knew when she woke because she moaned his name. It was reassuring that the first word out of her mouth was his name.

Before was about control and domination. Now, he just wanted to let her know of the love, to make her understand what he felt inside. He pleasured her—and himself—by tasting her flesh. He kissed her ass, rubbing it with his hands. He worked down further, kissing her legs, teasing the back of her knees. He knew it drove her crazy.

By the time he turned her over, her face was flush, her need easy to see. He grabbed a condom and slipped it on, entered her. He pulled her up from the bed, sinking back on his heels. They rode together, looking into each other’s eyes. Without words, he showed her, let her feel the love he had for her. They’d never been good at talking anyway.

Samantha leaned down to kiss him. The light touch of her mouth against his was enough to tempt, not enough to satisfy. She slipped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. She traced his lips with her tongue then dipped inside. It was almost too sweet, but there was something so hot about it. He tightened his hands on her waist. She came first, her body shuttering with the force of it and pulling him deeper into her wet heat.

He wanted to give in, but he needed to watch her lose herself again. He desired to be there with her.

“Together, come with me.” He pulled her lip between his teeth and sucked. She trembled. “Please, baby.”

They held each other’s gaze as they surrendered to the ecstasy.

*  *  *  *

Sam watched him pack and tried to tell herself that he wasn’t breaking her heart. She knew this was part of the job, part of the way he had chosen. And the life she’d given up when it had gotten too hard.

She’d gotten dressed only a few minutes before. They had spent their morning eating room service and pretending that he didn’t have a flight to catch. It was all happening too fast. Again.

Deke glanced at her and could read her so well, he stopped. He walked over to sit on the bed with her. “I wish I could stay longer.”

“Are you on active?” she asked, afraid of the answer. She didn’t want to know, but she knew she needed to.

“No. Actually, I’ve got a couple of offers for assignments. They want to keep me, but I’m thinking I want to settle down.”

She snorted, trying to ignore the way her heart jumped at the idea. He hadn’t said that he wanted to settle down with her—with anyone. “Deacon Berg, settle down? Yeah, tell me another tale.”

“Seriously.” He cupped her face. “I wanted to talk about it with you last night but I couldn’t. And now there isn’t time.”

She sighed and closed her eyes. “There never is.”

“We’ll find it.”

She opened her eyes and found his gaze piercing and demanding.

“I will.”

She nodded because she couldn’t speak. A lump clogged her throat as she blinked to hold back the tears. Her phone sounded Zoe’s ring.

“Hey.”

“Almost there. I can meet you upstairs or we can hook up downstairs.”

“I can meet you downstairs at reception. Deke has to leave.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you.”

Sam hung up then rested her head on Deke’s shoulder. “I guess we should go.”

He nodded. He stood and offered his hand to her. She took it, and he grabbed his bag as they headed out the door.

It only took a few minutes to get downstairs to the reception area and outside to the circular drive. People were getting ready for their day’s activity, the excitement of a Hawaiian vacation.

It made her even sadder.

Sam watched as Zoe sped around the circle in her little convertible. She came to a screeching halt in front of them.

Deke’s eyebrows shot up. “Jesus.”

She found her first smile of the day. “You said a mouthful, Berg,” Sam said.

“She’s dangerous.”

“In more ways than one.” She looked at him then and he looked down at her almost at the same time. “Call me.”

He cupped her face and kissed her. It was slow, sensuous, and it broke her heart all over again. He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.

“You will hear from me. I promise.”

She nodded.

“I love you, Samantha. Know that, always.”

She did. Even without him saying it, she never doubted it. “Oh, I love you too, Deke.”

He gave her a hug, another kiss on her neck, and then he walked her over to Zoe’s car.

“Hey, Seal, how you doing this morning?” Zoe asked.

“Pretty good, and yourself?”

“Would have been a lot better if I had gotten my own Seal last night, but I can’t complain, I guess.”

He gave Sam another kiss and opened the door for her. She hesitated then slipped into the car.  Deke shut the door. One last touch of his fingers against her cheek.

“Bye.”

She nodded but she couldn’t say it. Not this time. Something was different. Zoe waited for him to step back, and for once, she pulled away slowly. When they stopped at the light leading out of the resort, she looked over at Sam. She felt her study.

“How much does it hurt?”

The tears she had been holding back spilled over and she choked. “Like I’m dying.”

Zoe reached over and took her hand. “You need to stop?”

“No. Let’s just get home. I need to get home.”

And maybe there she could think that her world hadn’t fallen apart. Again.

Chapter Five

Six weeks later

Sam closed her eyes and breathed through her mouth. Today had been a lesson in keeping her food down. Even the crackers and water were not sitting well. But it grew worse without food or water—it was a sick cycle, and she just wanted to die. She knew for a fact one of her students had given her the flu. Probably on purpose, the little buttheads.

She sat on their lanai and stared out over the hills, wondering what Deke was doing right then. The last time she had heard from him was the day he arrived back on the mainland. He’d called to tell her that he’d made it back safely. It was always like this with the two of them. The times they were together, they couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. But once they were apart, it was as if they didn't care about each other.

Which was a crock because she had thought about him every day since she had seen him last.

She took a sip of water, wondering if she should call him. It would be the right thing to do since he had been the last person to call, but now she felt vulnerable. Did she want him to know just how much she needed him?

She sniffed back the tears she couldn’t seem to control the last few weeks.

"Hey, woman. I just got home," Zoe yelled out. She came out and set a bag from their favorite sushi restaurant on the table. "I know you haven't been doing great, so I thought I would treat you to some sushi."

Just the thought had her stomach revolting. "I'm not sure that is such a good idea."

Zoe looked at her. "What? You never turn down sushi."

Bile rose in her throat, and Sam took a sip of water hoping that would keep her from throwing up. "I think I have the stomach flu."

Zoe took a step back. "No. I can't get sick. I hate sickness."

"You're a nurse, and besides you know that the incubation period is pretty long."

"I
will
kill you. You know what kind of patient I am, and you and Fee refuse to help me."

“That’s because you call us names.”

Zoe pulled out the food. "Well, that means more for me."

She opened the container, and the scent of seafood and seaweed hit Sam. She bolted. She barely made it to the bathroom before losing what little she had in her stomach.

Several minutes later, she returned, and Zoe was no longer looking so jovial. "I promise not to breathe on you."

Zoe shook her head. She didn’t even smile. "I have something personal to ask you."

"Don't you always?"

When Zoe didn't laugh, Sam started to get worried.

"What?"

"Have you skipped your period since that night with Deke?"

“I…” She started counting back the days. It hit her then. "Oh, shit."

"Exactly."

Sam ran to the calendar they had hanging in the kitchen and counted days. "No. No this can't be. We used a condom."

"Every time?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"There’s always a chance that it didn't work. There is a twelve percent fail rate."

She stared at Zoe. “That’s not right. Is that right?”

Her friend nodded.

"Doesn’t matter. It's the stomach flu. I know it. It has to be going around school."

Zoe cocked her head. "How many kids have missed school because of it?"

None
.

Zoe read her face. "That's what I thought. And I work at a hospital. Not a lot of stomach flu talked about there."

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to. Let's go get a test and then you can see if you are pregnant or not."

"Don't say it."

Even thinking it had her stomach rolling over again.

Zoe must have been very worried about her, because when she spoke, her voice was especially gentle. Fee and Sam called it her “nurse voice.” “We’ll call Fiona and have her pick one up on her way home.”

She hesitated but then nodded.

An hour later, she stared down at the stick.

Dammit
.

“What’s the answer?” Zoe asked through the door.

“You’re so insensitive, I swear,” Fiona said, disgust filling her voice. “You need to give her time.”

“What? You want to know, too.”

“Yes, but I’m not so insensitive that I would badger her through the door.”

Tears filled her eyes. Sam hadn’t planned on kids anytime soon, especially not with a man who drove her crazy. And she didn’t know if she was ready for it right now, but she had no choice in her mind.

She opened the door.

“Oh, I don’t know if those are happy or sad tears,” Zoe said.

They spilled down her cheeks. “Happy, sad, scared as shit.”

“Oh, so you are pregnant,” Fiona said.

“What are you going to do?” Zoe asked.

She sighed and scrubbed her face. “Not sure. First, I have to tell Deke. Then we’ll decide from there.”

They both nodded. In that split second, the reality came crashing down on her. She was pregnant and had so many things to think about, she couldn’t deal with it. Without warning, the tears burning the back of her eyes burst forth. The sob caught her off guard.