Possession: Steel Brothers Saga: Book Three (12 page)

“
T
he human instinct to
survive is strong.”

My mind kept flowing back to Dr. Carmichael’s words.

“You may have thought you wanted to die during that horrific month you were in captivity, but inside, in the very essence of you, your id—the uncontrolled part of your personality that contains your basic and instinctual drives—you wanted to survive. You wanted to live. And that’s why you said those words. To survive.”

“But I hated myself every time I said them,” I countered.

“Humans often do things they hate to survive. You’re hardly the first to do that.”

Deep down, even hating my circumstances, had I truly wanted to survive?

“But what about the news article? I went back in to rescue those people, knowing full well I could get my ass shot off.”

“Maybe your instinct kicked in again, your id. You thought you were going into it to die, but instinctively you dodged fire and pulled others out. Your soldier training kicked in. It was instinctive.”

I scoffed. “Now you’re making me sound like the hero everyone else thinks I am.”

Dr. Carmichael rose from her chair, her eyes serious, her countenance strong and firm. She stood directly in front of me, looking down, her green gaze penetrating mine.

“It’s time you realize something. You
are
a hero. You saved six people that day who couldn’t save themselves. And even more, you saved a scared ten-year-old little boy. You saved his life, Talon. When the uphill battle seems unwinnable, when you’re ready to throw in the towel, remember that. Remember your strength. You are worth something. And you deserve happiness.”

* * *

J
ade had texted
me that she went to Grand Junction to visit her mother, who had awoken. After I was done with therapy, I drove out to the orchards and checked in with Axel. Everything looked good, so I went back to the house, prepared for one of Felicia’s awesome Friday-night dinners.

But again, Marj was in the kitchen.

“I thought you had cooking class tonight,” I said.

“I decided not to go. I’m just not in the right frame of mind for it.”

My poor baby sister. Maybe I had given her too big of a cross to bear by telling her my story. She wasn’t dealing with it very well.

“I’m making
coq au vin
,” she said. “It will be ready in about half an hour.”

I tunneled my fingers through my hair. “Look, Marj. I’m really…sorry.”

“You’re sorry? Talon, you have nothing to be sorry about. I hate that you went through all of that.”

“I know you do. But I hate seeing you like this. Sometimes I wish we hadn’t told you.”

She wiped a speck of spilled gravy from the counter. “Please, don’t feel that way. It’s just…”

I understood. She couldn’t put it into words. It was that dreaded mixture of pity for me and horror at the entire situation. I’d faced it before from my brothers. I hated it, but I couldn’t bring myself to blame my little sister for feeling that way.

“You cook when you’re upset.”

“It keeps my mind busy, you know? But even so…”

But even so, it still hovered over her. I got it. She had no idea how much I got it.

Time to change the subject. “So Jade’s in Grand Junction with her mom tonight.”

“Yeah,” Marj said. “She texted me. I guess it’s good that Brooke woke up.”

“Did she tell you that the mayor made her acting city attorney?”

Marj nodded. “Yeah, who can figure that out? How could Larry Wade just up and disappear?”

“He’s not the only one who disappeared.”

“Who else disappeared?”

“Her ex, Colin. Evidently he hasn’t been seen since the Friday night when he insisted on taking Jade to dinner.”

Marj dripped her jaw open. “I wonder why Jade hasn’t mentioned it to me?”

“I have no idea. Steve Dugan was talking to Jade about it. The jerk asked her out, too.”

That got a smile out of my sister. “I bet that didn’t go over well with you.”

Sometimes I was surprised how well Marj actually knew me. “Nope. So I told her we could make our relationship public.”

Marj smiled, and it almost looked like her real smile. “Really? That’s wonderful.”

“I hope so. I hope I can be everything she deserves. I’m just not sure sometimes.”

“Talon, despite what you may think, you
are
a whole person. You’re dealing with this now. All Jade needs is someone who will love her more than anything. If you can do that, you’re exactly what she deserves.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I am. But that’s totally weird about Colin.”

“I know,” I said. “It doesn’t look too great that Jade and Joe and Ryan and I were the last ones to see him. But I went home with Jade that night. So she and I can give each other an alibi. I’m more concerned about Joe and Ryan.”

“They probably each went home to their own houses.”

“Yeah, and then no one probably saw them after that.”

“Talon, our brothers had nothing to do with this.”

“I know they didn’t. But they’re going to be questioned—if they haven’t been already.”

“If they had been questioned, we probably would have heard about it.”

She was no doubt right, but still, something gnawed at the back of my neck. “I don’t know why, Marjorie, but I feel like something is about to go down. Something big.”

I
ended
up driving back to Snow Creek. I’d planned to stay the weekend in the city, to spend as much time with my mother as I could, but my father seemed to need to be with her, and I didn’t want to intrude on their time together. And that wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the main reason I drove back. I had an uncontrolled urge to be with Talon. I arrived at the ranch house at about eight o’clock. I knocked, and Talon let me in, Roger panting at his heels.

The enticing aroma of garlic and thyme wafted out from the kitchen. I inhaled.

“Marj made
coq au vin
,” Talon said. “There’s plenty left if you want some.”

I hadn’t eaten, and at his words, I found that I was famished.

“Thanks. Don’t mind if I do.”

He went with me in the kitchen and pulled a plate out of the cupboard.

“Go and sit down. I can take care of this.” I fixed myself a plate of Marj’s masterpiece, warmed it up in the microwave, and poured myself a glass of red wine. “Do you want a glass of wine?” I asked Talon.

He shook his head.

I sat down at the table and gestured to the seat next to me. “Sit with me while I eat.”

Between bites, I told Talon about the conversation with my mom.

“How does that make you feel?” he asked.

I couldn’t help but smile. “You definitely have been in therapy, haven’t you?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I think that’s the first time you’ve ever asked me how something made me feel.”

His face was troubled for a moment. “Jade, I’ve been selfish.”

I swallowed the bite of delicious chicken I’d taken. “What do you mean? Where did that come from?”

“I’ve been so involved in my own problems, I’ve been blind to everything around me. And I’m…sorry for that.”

“Do you want to tell me? About your therapy?”

He visibly swallowed and shook his head. “I’m not quite ready for that yet. Please be patient with me.”

“I will be as patient as it takes. You mean everything to me, Talon. You go at this at your own pace, and just know that I will be here whenever you need me.”

“You have no idea how much that means to me.”

I smiled. “I think I do.”

Talon looked at me, his eyes serious. “You never answered my question.”

I finished the last of my plate full of delicious French cuisine and took the last sip of my wine. “What question was that?”

“I asked how the conversation with your mother made you feel.”

I smiled. He truly wanted to know. This was a huge leap for him. I had never thought of Talon as selfish, but truly, he had been encased in his own little world, and I still didn’t know the exact facts of that world. But I had told him I would be patient with him, and even though I wanted more than anything to know what was going on, I would wait until he was ready to talk to me.

“Honestly? I don’t know what to feel. I feel like my emotions have been on a roller coaster, like they’ve been stretched to their absolute maximum and then snapped back into place. This is a woman who basically abandoned me, who chose her career and her second husband over her small child. But she’s still my mother. And she’s the only mother I’ll ever have. So part of me truly wants to get to know her. But then I feel like she doesn’t deserve that.”

“Blue eyes, it sounds like you want to punish her.”

“Well, what if I do? She certainly deserves it.”

“Yes, she does deserve it. She should never have abandoned her child. But by punishing her, who are you hurting?”

“Well, her.”

“True. But you’re also punishing yourself. Denying yourself your mother.”

I couldn’t help a small laugh. “Therapy’s been good for you, Talon. You’ve gained a lot of insight.”

“Blue eyes…”

“Oh, come on. Don’t get testy. This is a good thing. I’m giving you a compliment. And you’re right. Punishing my mother will only result in negative feelings for me. I should give her another chance. It’s just that, she may end up leaving me again.”

“True. She may. But you’re a grown woman now, Jade. She can’t hurt you anymore the way she did. At least you’ll know you tried. You’ll never have to wonder what if.”

I’d always known Talon was brilliant, but this new insight amazed me. Whatever therapy was doing for him, I hoped it was helping him as much as he was helping me right now.

“You know what I’d like to do now, blue eyes?”

“What’s that?”

“I’d like to take you to my bed.”

I wasn’t about to argue with that. I stood, rinsed off my plate and glass in the sink, and turned to him. His dark eyes were ablaze with fire. He stalked toward me, like a wolf stalking his prey.

“Remember last time, when I blindfolded you?”

I nodded, trembling.

“Did you like that, blue eyes?”

Still trembling, I nodded again.

“Then I have a big surprise for you.” He grabbed me, lifted me in his strong arms, and carried me out of the kitchen, down the hallway, to his bedroom.

He put me down and then sat on his bed. “Undress for me, blue eyes.”

This wasn’t the first time he’d asked me to undress for him, and I wanted to give him a treat. But as usual, I was wearing a pullover top. My large chest negated button-up blouses, but right now, I would have loved to be able to provocatively unbutton each button at a time, baring just a tiny bit of warm skin, to drive him crazy. All I could do was pull my top over my head. So I did, trying to do it as slowly and provocatively as I could, but within a few seconds the top was off, and I tossed it to the floor. I stood in my bra and my black pencil skirt. I was wearing regular black pumps with no pantyhose. At that moment again, I wished for a front-clasp bra that I could tear open, and my breasts would fall gently of their own accord. But no, it was a back-clasp thirty-four double D, and unclasping it wasn’t sexy. But I did it, tossed it to the floor, and my breasts were bare.

He eyed me lasciviously. “God, Jade, you do have the most luscious tits in the universe.”

I smiled. Evidently my striptease was having the desired effect, even though I didn’t find it particularly provocative.

“Remember those nipple clamps, blue eyes?”

I gulped. He had only used them once before, and they had been such a turn-on. I heated all over, and my pussy started throbbing.

“I think we might be seeing them again tonight,” he said. “Along with some other things.”

Tingles shot across my skin.

“But first you have to get naked.”

I smiled as I kicked my pumps off. Then I slid my stretch pencil skirt over my narrow hips until it was a black puddle around my feet. I kicked it toward my shoes.

I slid my finger inside the waistband of my leopard-spotted thong, getting ready to rid myself of it, when Talon shook his head slightly.

“Leave it on for a minute, blue eyes. Let me just look at you. You’re so sexy. So beautiful.”

I had never been overly excited about my body. I knew I had great boobs, but most of the time they were more of a pain than a pleasure for me because I was so limited in the clothing I could wear. I had a fairly wide waist and narrow hips, and my legs were nothing special. I’d always thought that Marj—long, lean, and lithe—had the perfect body, even though she was nearly six feet tall. But standing here, nearly naked, my breasts falling gently against my chest and my nipples hardening into brownish-pink knobs, with the man I loved more than life itself looking at me with such longing and desire, I felt like the most beautiful woman in the universe.

“Lie down on the bed, blue eyes,” Talon said.

My thong still in place, I obeyed.

“Play with those hard nipples,” he commanded.

As if of their own volition, my fingers trailed up my abdomen over the swelling globes of my breasts, to find each nipple. Just one whisper of a touch from my own hand, and they hardened even further. I traced my fingers over them first, a light feathery touch, and then I pinched one. I sighed.

“Yeah,” he said. “Just like that. You’re so gorgeous. Pinch those nipples for me, blue eyes. Twist them.”

When I twisted them, spikes of heat bubbled to my core. I was wet. I could feel it—that feeling when my pussy became the whole world. Nothing like it.

“Keep playing with them, Jade. Get them nice and ripe for me.” Talon, still fully clothed, walked over to his dresser and came back a moment later.

In his hands, he held the instruments I remembered. They looked like tiny pairs of pliers, the ends covered in black vinyl.

“I went easy on you last time. We’ll see how you do today. You ready?”

I nodded. My nipples were hard and ready. He attached one and then the other, and I sucked in a breath.

“Good?”

I closed my eyes. “Yeah, baby. Good.”

“The beauty of these is that they’re adjustable. This is what I gave you last time. Are you ready for a little more?”

The pain of the nipple clamps was outweighed by the incredible pleasure coursing through my blood. Squeezing them harder would only help, I was sure.

“Please, baby, give me more.”

He adjusted them, and I sucked in a breath. Pain. Such good pain. The sense of immediacy, the pleasure, was unmatched.

“Open your eyes, baby,” Talon said. “Open your eyes and look at your ruby-red nipples squeezed in the clamps. Fucking gorgeous.”

I obeyed and looked down at my ample breasts, my nipples bound between the black vinyl clamps. And oh my God, my pleasure increased tenfold. I had no idea the visual could be so stimulating.

“Oh my God, Talon. It is beautiful, isn’t it?”

His eyes were heavy-lidded and glazed over. “So beautiful, blue eyes. You’re so fucking beautiful.”

I was ready for him. “I’m wet, Talon. So wet for you. Will you fuck me now? Please?”

He stood before me, a beautiful god, still fully clothed. “Not yet, blue eyes. But I can give you a little bit of relief.” He removed my thong and inserted two fingers into my wet cunt.

I snapped around him, spasming, convulsing, milking those two fingers. The orgasm coursed through me, all the way up to my breasts, spiraling around to my nipples that were still clamped and so full of pleasure.

“Talon! Talon! God, so good.”

“That’s it, baby. Come. Come for me. Come all over my fingers. Show me how much I turn you on.”

I continued groaning, finally coming down from my orgasmic high.

When I finally opened my eyes, Talon stood over me, a beautiful blur of brown hair, scorching black eyes, and golden skin, but damn it, he still had clothes on.

“Talon, please, get naked. I need you.”

His lips curved up to the left. “In good time, blue eyes.”

He walked back to the dresser and came back again with more goodies. Were those…?

“Recognize these?”

They weren’t anything I had seen from him before, but I knew what they were. Handcuffs. Two pairs.

“These aren’t run-of-the-mill toys either. These are real. Solid steel, the kind the cops use.”

Shivers shot through me. What would he do with them? I couldn’t wait to find out.

“Grab the bars of the headboard, blue eyes.”

It never occurred to me to question his demands. I obeyed, and within seconds, he handcuffed me to the bed.

“Are you doing okay with the clamps?”

I closed my eyes and nodded.

“Verbal,” he reminded me.

“Yes.”

“Remember your safe word?”

“Yes,” I said again.

“Use it if this gets to be too much, all right, baby?”

“Yes,” I said for the third time.

He walked back over to the dresser and came back with a red bandanna. “This isn’t as soft as your silk scarf from the other night, but it will work.” He folded it and tied it over my eyes. “Everything all right, baby?”

I nodded.

“Verbal.”

“I’m sorry. Yes. Everything is fine.”

“Good, good.” His voice was low and soothing. “Now spread those pretty little legs, and we’ll see what surprises I have in store for you.”

My nipples were burning from the clamps, and all I could think of was how much I wanted his cock inside me.

Talon had other things in mind though. Something hard and cold suddenly entered me.

“Ben wa balls, baby. I want you to hold them inside your pussy, okay?”

“Yes,” I said.

“God, you’re still so wet. I don’t even need to lube these up.”

Another ball teased the lips of my pussy and then entered me.

“I want you to rock your hips, baby. Rock those beautiful hips and see what this does for you.”

I obeyed, and— “Oh!” A vibration, subtle but very pleasurable.

“Keep those balls inside you, baby. If you feel them falling out, pull your muscles in. I want those balls in there.”

“Yes,” I said.

“I’m going to push your thighs forward. You’re going to feel a little bit of lube on your ass, all right?”

“All right.” I trembled. I had learned to love ass play. It was so forbidden, so wrong, yet so right.

Some cool liquid trickled over my hole. Talon’s finger breached me, and I let out a soft sigh.

“That’s right, baby. That’s just me. I’m loosening up your pretty little asshole for you.”

I sighed again, reveling in the pleasure.

“Now, just a little more pressure.”

“God!” I cried out.

“It’s a plug, baby. A reminder that this asshole is mine. Got that?”

“Yes.” I bit my lip.

“Just relax.” He moved my thighs downward, and the plug pushed into me even more. God, so good.

A few minutes passed, and I lay there, totally at his mercy, my nipples clamped, stinging, burning, aching for more. My hips moving, rocking subtly, letting the balls do their job, my ass full, waiting for more.

I felt him before he thrust into me, his warmth hovering over me.

And then his cock was inside my heat.

“God,” he groaned. “Those balls inside you create more fiction. Fucking amazing.”

He wasn’t kidding. They rolled around inside my cunt, and as he thrust in and out, I had double the pleasure, double the sensation. With every thrust, he nudged the plug in my ass as well, giving me even more sensation. It wasn’t long before I was plummeting into another climax.