Precious Consequences (7 page)

Hayley isn’t here and I feel my excitement from earlier dissolve quickly. Hannah catches my expression before I’m able to right myself and shrugs. She mouths “She had other plans,” and starts talking to Noah and the guys.

Well that fucking sucks, I think to myself. My whole evening has gone down the shitter.

Oh well, I’ll just keep drinking until I pass out.

I push past the crowd inside the house and grab the whiskey bottle we left in the kitchen. For a brief second I think about my mother, alone at home now that my sister and her husband are back and Jordan is no longer staying with us.

I don’t want to go to that house. I just need to forget, if only for tonight, that I fucked up our happy family.

As if on cue, Rachel finds me again and this time I don’t stop her. I grab her by her neck and pull her to me roughly, slamming my lips onto hers. I break the kiss long enough to take another big swig of whiskey and drag Rachel up the stairs to a guest bedroom. She strips me of my clothes, and then does a little floor routine for me. The only problem is, my mind is completely numb, and so is my body. My dick doesn’t stir. Fuck. It just sits there, flaccid, against my thigh. Staring at me. Mocking me. That’s never happened.

What is up with that?

I fall onto the bed and throw my arm over my eyes in defeat. Rachel crawls over me and starts rubbing my dick. Nothing. Not even a twitch.

“What the fuck, Cam?” Rachel bites out. “If you weren’t getting hard for me you could’ve said so before I stripped for you.”

I lift my arm, spying her straddling my thighs and looking down at my dick angrily. That’s all it takes for me to crack. I burst out laughing, my body shaking until I feel hot liquid spilling from my eyes.

“Fuck you, Cam,” Rachel snaps, grabbing her clothes and getting dressed. “I don’t need this. We’re done!”

Her statement only makes me laugh harder, for whatever reason, and only when I hear the door slam shut, do I notice that my laughter is the empty kind.

Because that’s how I feel.

Empty.

Chapter 6

~ Hayley ~

The warm morning sun seeps through the thin yellow curtains in my room. It caresses my face, heating my skin and touching my eyelids. I roll over, seeking just another thirty minutes of sleep, when I feel little fingers stroking the side of my neck. Ari’s familiar scent hits my nose and I open one eye to peek at her. Her mouth turns up and she blinds me with her smile.

“Good morning, monkey,” I greet, opening both eyes. “How did you get into my bed?”

“Gama,” she replies. Her fingers touch my cheek and I wrap my arms around her body, pulling her closer to me until her head is tucked into the crook of my neck.  She curls into me, much like she did when I was pregnant with her, and I can’t stop the onslaught of memories that flood my mind. Like the first time I heard her heartbeat, and when I found out I was having a girl. And the first time I felt her moving around in my belly, pushing her tiny foot up to remind me that I was carrying an actual living, breathing person inside me. The realization was both magical and devastating. I had to experience all those things alone and knowing that I had made that choice made it so much harder.

My fingers stroke Ari’s hair, sliding through her head of soft, brown curls, and I start humming. After a little while she starts humming along with me, until she’s singing the words to ‘You Are My Sunshine’ out loud. It’s moments like this that I wish I could bottle up and save, so that I can revisit them whenever my heart needs some tenderness. Or when I feel like I’m failing my little girl. It’s my reassurance that, despite all of the stupid things I’ve done, I’m still doing something right.

There’s a soft knock on my door and I look up when my grandmother sticks her head through the door. She smiles warmly at the sight of me and Ari, her eyes wrinkling at the sides. Her face is weathered, but she has the heart of a twenty-five year old. Sometimes she feels like more of a mother to me than my biological mother was and in some way we both filled a void in each other. My grandfather died a year before I moved here and I guess my sudden arrival helped ease my grandmother’s loneliness. But it was the arrival of my darling, Ari that seems to have given my grandmother’s soul the healing that it needed.

“There’s someone at the door for you, sweetheart,” she says quietly. “You’d better hurry.”

I frown. Who would be here at 8 am on a Saturday morning? The door closes and I slide out of bed, lifting Ari onto my hip. I walk downstairs and come to a standstill when I see Taylor standing in the entryway. There are two bags on the floor next to her and Macy is clinging to her, her little face red and blotchy, stained with tears. Her uniform is rumpled, her hair thrown into a bun haphazardly on top of her head. When my eyes land on Taylor’s face I suck in a breath. Her lip is swollen, a drop of dried blood on the side, and her eye is swelling shut. A bruise is starting to form where her eye puffs up and on her cheekbone.

“Oh my God,” I breathe, taking a step closer to her. Her lip starts trembling. “What happened?”

She sniffles, saying, “It’s Jace. H-h-he showed up a-a-and he was d-drunk.”

I look at my grandmother. “Take the girls into the kitchen, please, Gama, and make them some pancakes for breakfast?” I ask. She nods, not asking questions, and instead of reaching for Ari, she reaches for an obviously terrified Macy.

“C’mon, baby girl, I’m not going to hurt you,” she soothes, her gentle voice calming. “I bet you’d like some pancakes, huh?”

Macy looks up at Taylor and she nods. “It’s okay, Macy. Momma will be right here, okay?”

Taylor hands Macy over and I put Ari on her feet, watching as she follows my grandmother and Macy into the kitchen. I lead Taylor over to the sofa and motion for her to sit down. “I’ll be right back,” I tell her. I walk to the guest bathroom that’s downstairs and open the medicine cabinet. When I find the first-aid kit, I make my way back to the living room and take a seat next to Taylor.  Without saying anything, I go about cleaning her face, tending to the small cut on her lip and then the one above her eye, which I missed earlier. She hisses but sits still until I’m done. I hear the girls giggling in the kitchen and the sound somehow helps both me and Taylor to relax.

“You want to tell me what happened?” I ask gently. Taylor swallows hard, her eyes glazing over with tears. I slip my hand into hers and give it a reassuring squeeze.

“You can tell me,” I reassure her.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” she says. Her voice is soft and shaky. “It all happened so quickly.”

I don’t say anything. I wait for her to gather her thoughts and piece herself back together.

“I decided to pick up an extra shift,” Taylor continues. “And I got a sitter for Macy. I got in about an hour ago and Jace showed up soon after the sitter left. He was so drunk. When he started yelling I was worried that he’d wake Macy, but after he threw the first punch I didn’t care. He accused me of cheating on him when we were married and he said Macy isn’t his,” her chest moves with her sharp intake of breath and tears start sliding down her face. But she finds it in herself to continue, I see the resolve in her eyes. “It’s a good thing my daddy taught me how to defend myself before he died,” she laughs sadistically. “I just wasn’t expecting to have to defend myself against my soon-to-be ex husband. I knocked him out with a lamp and grabbed Macy, along with everything that could fit into those bags. And I’m sorry to just show up, but I had nowhere else to go, and I needed to get Macy away from him.”

My arms wrap around Taylor’s shoulders and I feel her sobs. They travel from her body, into mine, and I feel her anguish and heartache as if it were my own. “I’m glad you came here,” I tell her. “You and Macy can take the guest bedroom downstairs and stay as long as you need to.”

“Thank you so much, Hayley. I promise we won’t get in your way.”

“You can make yourself at home and I’ll go check on the girls.”

Taylor nods. “I think I’m going to shower and then Macy and I will get some sleep.”

Taylor picks up her bags and I show her to the guest bedroom before heading to the kitchen. Macy and Ari are munching away on pancakes and I take the opportunity to pull my grandmother aside.

“Is your friend alright, sweetheart?” my grandmother asks. Worry lines her face.

“I’m not sure,” I reply honestly. “But I think she will be. Is it okay if she stays here for a little while?”

“Of course, sweetheart. They are welcome anytime.”

I smile, grateful for grandmother’s hospitality. I kiss her on the cheek and say, “Thank you.”

After Taylor and Macy get a few hours of sleep, we sit outside by the swimming pool and enjoy the summer heat. I watch as Taylor plays with and Ari and Macy in the pool and let my thoughts wander back to the swim meet yesterday. More specifically, to Cameron. Hannah invited me to their party last night but after the week I had I wanted nothing more than to relax and spend an evening at home with Ari. A small part of me can’t help but admit that I was avoiding Cameron. As much as I wanted to see him again last night I decided against it. He’s trouble.

Taylor’s voice breaks through my thoughts. “What you thinking about so hard over there?”

“Nothing,” I say.

Taylor helps Macy and Ari out of the pool and takes them inside. She reappears a few minutes later, two tall glasses of sweet tea in her hands. She takes a seat on the lounger next to mine and passes me a glass, all the while her eyes bore into my face.

“What?” I ask. My lips meet the cool glass and the tasty liquid refreshes my mouth, traveling all the way down into my belly. It’s a welcome reprieve from the sweltering mid-August temperatures.

“What’s his name?”

“What makes you think it’s a guy?”

Taylor’s eyebrow rises and she smirks. “I may be blonde, but I’m not stupid. I know when a girl is thinking about a guy.”

I blush, and I’m not even sure why. Maybe it’s because I’m thinking about someone I hardly know but wish I knew better. Or maybe it’s because I had the urge to trace Cameron’s tattoos with my fingers after seeing the ink that covered quite a bit of his body. I’m willing to put my money on both and then add thinking about how mouthwatering he looks, with water dripping off every bulging muscle of his defined swimmer’s body, for good measure.

“Okay, fine,” I sigh. “You caught me.”

“What’s his name?” Taylor asks, intrigued.

“Cameron,” I reply. “But I hardly know the guy. We met two weeks ago outside Ari’s daycare center and I saw him again yesterday.”

“Honey,” Taylor says, sitting back on the lounger. “We all start off as strangers, and there’s nothing wrong with being curious about someone. You might find that he’s just as curious about you.”

“I doubt it. A guy like that can have any girl he wants and I’m pretty sure he’ll head for the hills when he finds out I’m a package deal.”

Taylor sighs and I think about what she said. “That’s the reality of being a momma. Our girls always have to come first and if that means not having a guy in our lives until much later, then so be it. I’m quite happy having it be just me and Mace for a while anyway.”

We fall silent, both being pulled in by our thoughts. She’s right. Ari’s needs will always come before mine and I will be that way until she’s old enough to stand on her own two feet. Being with a guy right now just isn’t in the cards and I’m oddly okay with that. Because when the right guy comes along, he won’t only fall in love with me, but he’ll fall in love with Ari, too.

** ** ** **

Taylor and Macy stay with us through Saturday and Sunday and when Monday rears its ugly head, I drop Macy off at daycare with Ari. I have a test on Friday, so after stopping at the coffee shop, I make my way to the library, hoping to get in an hour or two of studying before my first class with Hannah. I take two flights of stairs and find a quiet corner in the study center. I take out my text book for my Concepts of Communication and Journalism class and start making notes, scribbling furiously across sheets of paper until it’s covered in ink. Somehow two hours goes by without me even realizing it. I pack up my things and when I walk out the library again, I spot Cameron walking in my direction. He’s wearing a pair of blue faded jeans and a black t-shirt that shows of his broad shoulders. As if he knows I’m staring at him, his head comes up, revealing a pair of aviator sunglasses and a smile that could melt the panties off even the most frigid woman.

“Hi,” he says, stepping up to me.

“Hey Cameron,” I reply. I can’t see his eyes but I know he’s staring straight at me. An awkward silence travels between us and I nibble on the inside of my cheek.

After a few minutes, Cameron speaks. “You headed to class?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m headed that way,” I reply, stupidly pointing in the direction Cameron was walking.

“I’ll walk you,” he says. He adjusts his bag that rests across his chest and we start walking.

I decide to make small talk in the hopes that it will squelch the awkwardness. Or maybe it’s nervousness. But why would I be nervous around Cameron, or him around me? “How did the rest of the swim meet go?”

Cameron grins triumphantly. “We won of course, it was a no-brainer.”

“Congrats,” I reply, smiling.

“Of course you’d know that if you were at the party on Friday night, but you weren’t.”

He sounds disappointed? No, he can’t be. Could he?

“Uh, yeah, sorry about that. I had other plans. But I’m sure you had just as much fun though.”

We stop outside my class and I notice that Cameron looks nervous for some reason. He turns to face me, rubbing the back of his neck. I’m about to say goodbye when he speaks first. “Hayley, I…” he hesitates. “I wanted to know if you’d like to go out with me?”