Authors: H. I. Defaz
As with all of us, there were many moments in my life in which I wished I'd done things differently. But I refused to believe that this was going to be one of them. I refused to believe that I had lost Yvette. I dreaded the thought of dying without having the opportunity to tell her again how much she meant to me, how those few moments we spent together had filled me with the strength I needed to go on, and how one kiss from her had restored my will to live and my desire to love. I needed to tell her that if I only had five minutes left to live, I wanted to live them with her.
Being lost in my thoughts made the hike seem shorter and easier than it really was, though I have to admit the scenic views along the way were helpful. We were surrounded by majestic firs and beautiful tall greenery, and the forest floor was carpeted with amazing wildflowers. Their colors and shapes ranged from small round cotton-like puffballs to big, spiky purple thistles, each with its distinctive scent and beauty. We even passed an impressive waterfall. The cool, clear waters cascaded in four rills over mossy-green rocks and steep boulders. It was a sight that made us stop and stare—if for only a few seconds.
“Are you okay?” Sarah's question brought me back to myself. “You haven't said a word in almost an hour.”
“Really?” I answered, taken aback. “I didn't notice. I was just… thinking.”
“About this girl you mentioned before?”
“Yvette. Yes.”
“Hmmm,” she mused, throwing a glance over her shoulder. “So what's the deal? Is she your girlfriend?” She tried to sound nonchalant, but I could sense a hidden expectation in her tone.
“What do you care?” I countered, annoyed by her question. I didn't know why I was being so rude to her. Maybe her involvement with R.C. Labs had led me to subconsciously develop some sort of resentment toward her, or maybe I was simply fighting not to like her so much, because I was aware that she could become a threat to my emotions.
“I'm sorry,” she replied, flustered by my attitude. “I didn't mean to upset you. I was just trying to make conversation.”
“Well, forgive me if I'm not in the chatting mood, but my whole world has been turned upside down. And for your information, Yvette just happens to be—”
“You don't have to answer that.” She turned around and cut me off on the spot. “It's none of my business anyway.”
Her angry emerald eyes locked with mine for a long, insightful second, in which I experienced another episode of extreme awareness, similar to the ones I'd had in the shack and at the river. It felt like a sudden rush of electricity zapped me as my brain opened up again to that refreshing and intoxicating feeling of euphoria. A new sensation, however, crept in among the others: an unnatural, non-physical pressure created by one side of my brain over the other.
The pressure began to increase gradually, like a game of mercy being played inside my head. Terrified by the unknown consequences of having one of the two sides win, I forced myself out of the virtual contest, snatching my mind away like I'd snatch my hand out of a fire. That sent a jolt of pain through my head like a railroad spike jammed into my skull. “Aaaah!” I grabbed my head in both hands and clenched my eyes shut as I tore free of the dreadful mind-lock.
“What's wrong?” Sarah asked nervously.
“I don't know…” I answered vaguely, trying to keep the details to myself. It didn't make sense to me, trying to explain something that I couldn't even explain to myself at that point. “Look…” I began again. “I'm sorry. I'm just not feeling like… like myself, you know?” I sighed, sinking down on top of a rock the size of a small bench. I rubbed my face with dismay. “How the hell did I get myself into this mess?”
“Hey,” Sarah said with a comforting tone, sitting right next to me. “It's okay. I'm sorry, too. And I didn't mean to pry. It's just that…” She paused. I uncovered my face and looked at her, not sure I wanted to hear what she had to say. “Victor,” she continued, meeting my stare, “...going back to the Lab is just...crazy.” She sighed. “She may not even be a—”
“NO!” I cut her off and stood up hastily. “She is alive.”
“What if she's not, Victor?” she insisted. “Then what? You'll die, too.”
“Life won't be worth living if Yvette is dead,” I told her, dead serious. I raised my eyes to the clear blue sky. “Besides, I've been dying every day for three years now, Sarah, and every day I wanted to end it. She made me change my mind. She made me want to live again. If she's gone, well,” I paused painfully, “if she's gone, then your boss can do whatever he wants with me.”
She exhaled loudly. “Well, I guess that answered my question.” She smiled timidly. “Wow. She's a lucky girl.”
“Bad choice of words, considering the circumstances, don't you think?”
“On the contrary. If it was me who was trapped in that place, I would consider myself damn lucky to have someone like you stopping at nothing to get me out.”
“Someone like me?” I scoffed bitterly. “You don't even know who I am, Sarah. I'm just a lonely, pathetic, sick guy, with no friends, no family, and no life. And apparently that made me the perfect candidate for this experiment. And you know what? I'm fine with that. But Yvette deserves a hell of a lot better than to spend her last moments in agony as a lab experiment.” I sighed. “I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong. I can't tell the difference anymore. But you're right about one thing. I'll stop at nothing to get her out of there.”
A long moment of silence followed my words.
“Well,” Sarah began finally, “I think what you're trying to do is really—”
“Stupid?” I cut her off, turning around to meet her eyes.
“I was actually going to say brave,” she corrected me, seeming offended by my attitude.
“Isn't that the same thing?” I countered sarcastically.
She studied the ground then, hiding the pained expression caused by my gibes. I realized then I was taking my anger and frustration out on her, and that I was acting like a total jerk. I couldn't blame my condition for that. “I'm sorry,” I apologized sincerely. “I keep forgetting you're not the enemy.” I threw an obvious glance at the R.C. emblem on her jacket.
Her hand flew to the emblem as she caught the direction of my stare. “I'm not them, Victor,” she said quietly.
“I know.”
“Can we not fight anymore?” she proposed with a gentle smile. I nodded in agreement. I could feel a smile curving my lips. “Friends, then?” The word struck me in a weirdest way, coming from a girl like Sarah. Not that I was trying to be sexist or anything, but I doubted that a stunning woman like her could have had many male friends without them having conflicting feelings about her.
“Sure.” I laughed. “Friends.”
We resumed our journey as soon as our friendship was established. Sarah kept navigating using her map, which was taking us through some really rough terrain. The hike became steeper and more difficult as we approached the bridge. In some cases we had to use our hands in order to climb over slopes along the way. All this physical activity, plus the lack of food and water, was really taking it out of us, so mid-morning we decided to stop and rest for a while. Thankfully, the hike hadn't taken us too far from the course of the river, which gave us a reachable source of fresh water.
We found a nice, clear area with a flat enough surface to settle down. Sarah dropped on the ground, exhausted. She took off her boots and massaged her toes against the cool green grass. “Ah!” she sighed, “That feels good.”
“Can I see your Ziploc bag again?” I asked.
“Sure,” she answered, getting it out her jacket pocket. I took it and emptied all its contents out on the grass next to her. “What are you doing?” she asked, confused.
“Just wait here, I'll be right back.” I took the empty Ziploc bag and headed for the river. The bag was large enough to hold at least a liter of water, so as soon as I reached the river I filled it up to the top and sealed it. On my way back I stumbled upon some bushes full of wild berries; I quickly took off my shirt and used it to collect and bring some over to Sarah. Lucky for me, our little adventure on the river had washed most of the bloodstains out of the shirt, so I didn't feel too bad about using it.
When I got back, Sarah was arranging some wood for a campfire. She seemed to know what she was doing, so I left her alone and laid the shirt filled with berries flat on the ground. Her face lit up when she saw them, and even more when she saw the bag filled with water.
“Yes!” she exclaimed, “You're a lifesaver!” Jumping up, she sat down cross-legged right next to the rustic setting I had laid down. Her eyes closed with delight as she shoved a big handful of berries in her mouth. “Mmm!” A sigh of relief escaped her lips. I stood there watching with a smile on my
face, happy to see her happy. It took her a minute to realize I was watching her getting lost in her enjoyment.
She stopped like a statue the moment she met my eyes. Her lips, stained by the red berries, curled into an embarrassing smile. “I'm sorry,” she chuckled. “Would you care to join me?”
“Don't mind if I do.” I smiled and sat next to her. “So, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“How did someone like you get mixed up in something like this?”
“Well…” She mumbled, finishing what she had in her mouth, “I met Dr. Palmer in my first year in med school. He became my mentor and my friend. Before my first year was over, he told me about this great opportunity at this private biotech corporation. He'd been offered a job there, based on his research on brain cell regeneration, and he had the choice to bring an assistant with him, a student who would have the opportunity to learn from his research.
“The project was to be classified, and it required the intern to move indefinitely to Alaska and sign a non-disclosure agreement. Everything was on a need-to-know basis. Unfortunately for me, I was Dr. Palmer's first choice...and I just couldn't let him down, so I accepted.”
“What happened to him?” I asked.
Her eyes went flat. “He vanished about a month ago. I always thought it was weird that he'd leave without saying why. But three days ago, I found a hidden message in the computer archives. In it, he warned me about Dr. Walker's intentions, and the risks of using the serum. His exact words in the message were: 'Protocol R.C.1000: Dangerous for human trials. Inevitable intrusive integration of dark energy into subject's volition, with ultimate and irreversible predominance.'
“I didn't understand what he meant at first, so, uh,” she looked a little embarrassed, “I decided to break into Walker's personal records and find out what he was up to. It was then that I learned what he was doing to the patients. I confronted him, of course, but that didn't go too well. After resigning my position and saying I was leaving, he told me he couldn't let me go with that kind of information. That's when I knew my life was in danger.”
She sighed, lifting her eyes to the sky again. “I knew about an emergency escape shaft in the lab and I knew it would be unguarded, so I waited until nightfall, when the Lab would be empty. When I got there, I noticed all the capsules were empty, too.” –She pulled a bitter smile— “All except one. When I checked the clipboard at the foot of the capsule I saw that the patient was scheduled for vivisection. I couldn't just ignore it. So I decided to opened the capsule and save whoever was in it.” She stopped then and met my gaze. “You know the rest.”
“Do you regret it? Opening my capsule, I mean.”
She shook her head without unlocking her eyes from mine and whispered, “No.”
At that moment, we were drawn into a staring match from which neither of us seemed able to escape. Her eyes were like magnets, making me want to reach out, and take hold of her. The hyperawareness ignited in my brain again, making me able to hear the accelerated beating of her heart, as well as her out-of -control breathing whooshing in my ears. The game of mercy had resumed inside my head, and the winning force was producing an intoxicating feeling I couldn't resist. Suddenly, I felt compelled to run my fingers through her hair; I reached out, cupped the back of her head, and let my free hand slide around her waist. Then I pulled her body to mine with one firm tug that left our lips just a millimeter apart.
“Victor!” My name escaped her lips in a whisper.
The tighter the mysterious force gripped my conscience, the less volition I seemed to have. And though the other force in my head seemed to be fighting back with the same intensity as the first, it seemed an impossible battle to win. My vision began to dim, just as it had back in the Lab …when suddenly, Yvette's image popped into my head, a perfect picture of her face—a perfect picture of love.
The two forces ceased their ferocious battle and gave me back my self-control. “Oh God, I'm sorry!” I said in shock, releasing Sarah. “I don't know what's wrong with me!” Embarrassed and confused, I made some room between us. Sarah cleared her throat and shook her head, dumbfounded by the event.
“It's all right,” she finally said in a low voice, running her fingers through her hair. “It's probably just the two energies in conflict...” I could see a small wrinkle of confusion between her eyebrows. “You need to get some rest. You've been through a lot this last couple of days.” She got back on her feet, giving me her back. “Ahem!” She cleared her throat loudly and added, “It's getting late. Why don't we just camp here for the night? We'll continue tomorrow. We'll leave at the crack of dawn, what do you say?”