Prescription For Love (The Kingsley Series) (30 page)

"Look, look, the camels are open!" Logan gushed, rushing forward to take the last place in the waiting line. He turned, beaming up at Cameron, and for just a second, she allowed herself to smile down on his face as if he were hers to love. Tears pricked the backs of her eyes, and she blinked them away, reigning herself in. To distract herself, she forced herself to look up toward the front of the line, where a zoo employee was guiding people up a short staircase to a platform, from which they mounted the backs of the camels in groups. Her heart tripped, and she had to force herself to breathe. "Oh, they sure are big, aren't they?" she asked. "Wow. They are just really, really big."

"Nah, I've done this a dozen times," Logan said. "I know what to do."

"Do? You have to do stuff? I thought you just sit there!" Cameron squeaked.

Logan laughed. "I was kidding, ya big girl. You do just sit there."

The closer the line got to the camels, the more Cameron had to work to keep her breathing even. If it had been anyone else she was with, she'd have backed out of the camel ride. But it wasn't anyone else; it was Logan. It was Mac's boy; the motherless child of the man she was falling in love with, and he was looking forward to riding a camel with her. She couldn't back out, not on him. And so, far too soon for her tastes, she found herself climbing the steps with one hand nervously sliding up the safety rail, the other resting lightly on Logan's slender shoulder. Taking one last deep breath, she mounted the last step and joined Logan on the platform.

"Okay, dude, here goes," she said, forcing her voice to come out perky and happy instead of shaky and weak. Logan twisted in her arms suddenly, wrapping his skinny arms around her waist, his face pressing into her stomach.

"Thank you for riding with me even though you're scared," he said.

Glancing around, Cameron tried to judge how much time they had before their camel unloaded on the next platform and came back for them. It looked like they had time, so she took him by the arms and set him away from her. Squatting down in front of him, she took his hands in hers and said, "Courage isn't about not being afraid, Logan. Courage is about doing what's important, even if you are afraid. And if you want me to ride with you, well I guess I'm riding. But if this thing spits on me, I'll dunk your head in the toilet later." She smiled, straightening as the boy dissolved into helpless giggles and occasional shrieks of, "Ew!"

Mac stood watching along the guardrail, camera in hand, as Cameron was suddenly engulfed in the arms of his son. He caught the surprise in her face, pressing the camera's shutter button as her smile widened, her fingers lost in the soft hair of the boy clinging to her. Mac hadn't realized how much his son needed a woman in his life; he'd had unlimited help from his mother since Alex had died, but no grandma could ever stand in for a mommy. He just hadn’t seen it before.

Clearing his throat, he watched Cameron set Logan apart from her, squatting low to place herself at the boy's eye level. Logan's face grew solemn as Cameron spoke to him, and Mac wondered what it was that she was saying. Then Logan fell apart, laughing helplessly as Cameron stood again beside him, dropping her hand lightly on his shoulder as they waited together. Her curls blew in the slight breeze, and he saw her stiffen, straightening her shoulders as a camel approached their platform. Her breasts rose and fell; he knew she was taking a breath to steel herself against her nerves. And then he watched her carefully board the back of the camel, situating herself as comfortably as she could before reaching her arms out to take his son close to her body.

With one thigh to either side of the camel, she had no lap to hold Logan on, but she scooted him close to her, holding his waist protectively even as she leaned slightly to check the distance to the ground. Snapping another picture of them together, Mac's heart filled, an empty place that had resided in his chest since the loss of his wife suddenly ceasing to be there. Sure, he'd always hold Alex close in his memories, but as he watched his son fall head over heels for a woman who braved her terrors to make him happy, Mac tumbled along too, into love.

"Sorry," Cameron muttered again, having gripped Logan's waist tightly enough, again, to make him stiffen. "It just rocks a lot. Really far."

"You've really never rode a camel?" the boy asked, twisting slightly to look over his shoulder at her.

"Nope, not even once," Cameron answered, leaning over him to speak into the curve of his ear. "Generally, if it's bigger than I am and has more legs than me, I'm scared of it."

"Well, just don't worry," Logan said. He took her hands from his waist and leaned into her, wrapping her hands more tightly together on his flat but boyishly soft stomach. "I've done this a dozen times, even by myself, so it's safe enough. I know what to do."

Cameron's hands lifted and fell with the breath of the little boy in her arms, the scent of dirt and camel mixing with the soft, soapy smell of the child. She rested her head close to him, breathing him in as she remembered similar words from his father. The first time she'd braved a ride on Mac's motorcycle, she'd been so afraid it would tip, afraid it would slide or fall, or that she herself would fall off.

"It doesn't have doors or a roof or anything,"
she'd said.

"It has me,"
Mac had answered back, and Cameron had been reassured, just as she was now, with the high pitch of his son's voice drifting back to her with the scent of his boyish spice. She laced her fingers together over Logan's stomach, smiling to herself. And as his hands settled over hers, she blinked furiously to fight back tears. She couldn't pretend she didn't want his father, and she couldn't pretend she didn't want him. The boy needed a mother, didn't he? Cameron knew she could never replace the mother he'd lost, but as she held his little body in front of her, rocking along with the beast beneath them, she knew she wanted to be his stand-in.

Coming around the final bend in the camel's endless circular track, Cameron caught sight of Mac, standing along the guardrail. He was talking to another man, gesturing as he talked. The other man looked amused, the boy beside him sulking.

"Hey," she said, nudging Logan's stomach with her laced hands. "Who's that guy over there with your dad?"

Logan stretched to see, then leaned back into Cameron quickly. "That kid goes to my school," he said. "He's the biggest stupidest jerk ever. I hate him."

"That's a pretty strong emotion, huh?" Cameron asked, curious.

"He gets me in trouble because he's always so mean to me, and one time I hit him. I made his lip bleed."

"Why?" Cameron asked.

"Because he said I'm a loser because I don't have any mom," Logan answered, so quietly Cameron barely heard him. "He says my mom died because I'm stupid."

"Hmm. Been going to school with him a while then, huh? He knew you before your mom got sick?" She wanted to slide down from the camel's back, stalk over and give that boy a talking-to. She wanted to do worse than that to the boy's father, who obviously wasn't trying hard enough to instill compassion in his child. Instead, she settled for hugging Logan close to her, knowing that once they approached Mac and the people he was chatting with, Logan would likely pull away from her.

"Yeah. He used to come over and play at my house, but when my mom got sick, he couldn't come over anymore because she didn't ever feel good. And now he doesn't like me."

"I see," she said, suddenly gripping him more tightly than she'd meant to as a misstep caused the camel to rock especially hard. Logan laughed a little at her reaction and covered her hands again with his own.

"Don't worry Cameron," he said. "You're safe here with me. I know what to do, remember?"

Even as he struggled with the loss of his mother and the subsequent loss of his friend, the boy was kind and reassuring to her. Cameron struggled to keep her emotions in check as the camel approached the platform. She handed Logan off to the employee in charge, and then took his hand to allow him to haul her from the back of the camel. Walking down the stairs from the platform, they sought Mac's face and found him alone at the guardrail, a scowl on his face. He turned though, hearing them approach, and he arranged his face quickly into a proper smile for his son.

"Have fun, kid?" he asked. "I took pictures of you guys up there."

"Yeah I had a good time, Dad. But Cameron was a wuss," he teased, looking over at her and winking, a slight dimple showing in his cheek. Cameron pursed her lips.

"Yeah? Well next time I'll toss your little butt and go ride on my own. I wasn't a wuss. I was holding your hands so you wouldn't be scared," she retorted.

"Uh huh," Mac said, mussing Logan's hair.

"I saw Kenny and his dad with you," Logan said, and Mac's face tightened. He exchanged a silent look with his son, and Cameron could tell they needed some time to talk. Looking around them, she spotted a corn dog stand a few feet down, and a sign for bathrooms.

"Uh, I'm gonna be right back," Cameron said, breaking the moment. Logan and Mac both turned to look at her, questions in their eyes. Cameron pointed toward the sign for the bathrooms, giving Mac a silent look of her own, one that darted down to his son and then back into his own blue eyes. He nodded slightly, his eyes lighting with understanding, and she said, "There's a ladies' room right there, so why don’t I meet you boys at the corn dog stand when I come out?"

"That's a great idea," Mac said quickly, tugging Logan close to him as they walked together toward the bathroom entrance.

"Yeah," Logan laughed reaching out to touch Cameron's arm lightly. "Then you won't pee yourself if something scares you. Like a turtle. Or a terrifying ant," he teased. Softening the words, he leaned toward her, hugging her before moving back to his father.

"Uh huh. You better watch it boy, or it's swirly-time," Cameron laughed, taking the exit to the bathroom and letting Mac and his son go on without her.

***

Walking back from the bathroom, Cameron stopped to watch Mac as he tapped the end of Logan's nose with a corn dog before neatly biting off the end as Logan laughed. They had chosen to sit side by side, leaving the other side of their table open for her, and as they got down to the business of eating, Cameron couldn't help the smile that widened her mouth, or the little tingle that settled in her stomach.

They nudged each other often as they ate, and by the relaxed set of Logan's shoulders, she had to assume that he and Mac had talked and that all was well between them. Still, she wondered about the man she'd seen talking to Mac, and she wondered about the boy, Kenny, that had once been Logan's friend. Making a note to ask Mac about it, Cameron started walking again, but stopped slightly before she'd reached them as she heard her name.

"Yeah, I like Cameron a lot, Dad," Logan was saying. "She's pretty, and it's funny when she gets scared of the animals and stuff. She really thought the camel was gonna dump us off, and I had to tell her it would be okay."

"Hmm," Mac answered. "And did she believe you?"

"I guess. That was when she looked for you. I guess she missed you. And she saw you with stupid Kenny and his stupid dad," Logan grumbled.

"I see. I wondered what was wrong with you after the camel ride, if maybe you disagreed with Cameron or something."

"No, she's really great, Dad. I think she likes me, too," Logan said, and Cameron smiled. Already, she was in love with them; both father and son had thoroughly won her over. "She asked me who you were with though."

"Oh. What did you tell her?" Mac asked.

"I told her about Kenny being a stupid jerk about my mom and that I hate him and I hit him that one time, and she said that hate is a strong emotion. Just like you, Dad." Cameron grinned again, watching Mac nod and slip an arm around his son's shoulders.

"It is a strong emotion, like love. Neither of those are to be taken lightly, ever," he counseled.

"Do you love Cameron?" Logan mumbled around a mouth full of corn dog. The question froze the air in Cameron's lungs, and suddenly she couldn't breathe as she waited for Mac to answer. She couldn't say for sure yet that she loved Mac, but she knew she couldn't say she didn't either. All she knew for sure in that moment, as Mac slowly turned to face Logan, was that she wanted him to say yes; she wanted him to tell his son that he loved her and wanted to be with her.