Present Perfect (30 page)

“Your skin is so soft and sweet,” he mumbled against my stomach.

“We can’t do this,” I whispered.

My fingers disentangled from his hair. My hands slid down his muscular arms and landed on top of his hands that were glued to my ass. I tried to remove them, but he had such a strong grip and wouldn’t let go. He brushed his lips along my collarbone then nibbled his way to the spot right beneath my ear.

He whispered, “I need you. You’re the only one I want. Every time I’m with
her
, I think of you. I need to be inside of you so bad. Please don’t make me leave.”

It took every ounce of strength not to give into him. I wanted him just as much as he wanted me. “Noah, you’ve been drinking and you’re hurting. You’re not able to think straight. Plus, you have a girlfriend. You’re not that guy. You don’t cheat.”

Noah released his grip on me, curling his arms around my waist as I slid mine around his neck. We hugged each other so tight, it was hard to catch a deep breath. His body began to tremble slightly and I felt tears drip down my neck.

“Please don’t leave me,” he begged against my neck.

“I’m not going anywhere except where you go.”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Stay here tonight. You’re aunts are at your house with your mom, right?” He simply nodded his head.

I took Noah’s shoes off and helped him empty the pockets of his jeans. He was steady enough to manage taking them off himself. I pulled back the covers of my bed and he climb in dressed in his boxers and t-shirt.

“I’m going to get you some water and aspirin,” I said as I covered him up.

Noah grabbed my hand before it left the covers. He looked up at me, his beautiful eyes still glistening. “I couldn’t get through this without you. I love you so much, Tweet.”

I swallowed hard when I heard him say he loved me. This was the second time he had told me and I still never said it back to him, at least not so he could hear it. But, it didn’t seem to matter whether I said it to him, he wanted me to know how I affected his heart. I hoped he could feel how much I loved him, even though I couldn’t tell him.

“You’re not going to have to get through anything without me.” I gave him a small smile.

Relief spread across his face. I kissed him on his forehead before going to get his water and aspirin. By the time I returned to my room, he had already fallen asleep. I knew he hadn’t gotten any sleep the past couple of nights, so I didn’t bother to wake him up. I stared down at him for a long time. He looked so peaceful. Saying goodbye to his dad tomorrow was going to be the hardest thing Noah has ever had to do. At least he’ll be able to have a few hours of peace while he sleeps.

I walked to the door and shut off the small lamp that was on my dresser. Before leaving, I turned to look at him one more time. The moonlight was shining through the window illuminating his beautiful peaceful face.

“I love you too, Noah,” I said before shutting the door and heading to the guestroom for the night.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. That’s not true, really. Words have an immense power over people. Words represent ideas and thoughts. No matter what anyone says, we all care, to a certain extent, how others view us. We may not care what everyone thinks of us, but there’s always that one person, who with a few words holds the power that could make us or break us.

The funeral was as heartbreaking as I expected, but Noah was the pillar of strength for his mom. Afterwards, Mrs. Stewart had invited close friends and family back to her house. Noah was staying close to his mom’s side, helping her greet and receive condolences from people. Brooke stayed close by Noah’s side, keeping her arm securely linked with his whenever possible. I tried to keep a little distance. The situation was stressful enough without adding more to it. I noticed every now and then Noah would scan the room looking for me. Once Brooke noticed, she started shooting me hostile looks whenever Noah’s attention was elsewhere. After about forty minutes of Brooke’s glares, I needed to get some air. I got Noah’s attention from across the room, letting him know where I would be.

I walked outside to the backyard and made my way over to the small vegetable garden at the far end of the yard. Mr. Stewart had planted it just a little over a month ago. There were already sprouts coming up from the ground. Even though it was the beginning of summer here, it felt cooler outside than it did in the house with all the people packed inside. Mr. Stewart was loved by many. That was evident today from all the people who attended the funeral. He was a good man. Noah is just like his father. I started thinking about all the vacations our two families took together. I felt tears prick my eyes. The sound of footsteps behind me caught my attention. Running my fingers under my eyes, I wiped away any tears.

“Can we talk?”

I turned around and came face-to-face with Brooke. Her expression was an exact duplicate of the way she looked at me the other night.

“I just came out here for a second to get some air. I’m heading back in,” I said.

My shoulder muscles tensed up and I could hear the grinding of my teeth. I had no idea what Brooke would want to talk with me about, I didn’t want this conversation to take place, especially not today and not here.

“I’ll make it quick.” She was determined this was going to happen.

“Okay,” I answered hesitantly.

“What are you doing?” Her tone was accusatory.

“I’m not following you, Brooke.”

“What are you doing with Noah?”

“Instead of playing twenty questions, just say what you want to say to me.”

I wasn’t interested in talking or listening to her right then. I started feeling anxious. This wasn’t going to be pretty.

“I realize we don’t know each other at all, really. Noah doesn’t appear to want to share the details of his relationship with you. I asked my cousin about the two of you. He was under the impression that you had been together.”

I started to interrupt and correct her, but I knew that would just prolong this and I wanted to get this over with.

She continued, “I didn’t say anything the other night when I caught the two of you. Obviously, it wasn’t the time or the place.”

“Wait a second. When you
caught
us? You make it sound like we were doing something we shouldn’t.”

“You had your arms and legs wrapped around my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I was comforting my best friend.”

“It looked like you were doing more than comforting him.” She paused for a moment. She glanced around making sure we were alone and out of earshot of anyone. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you and since I’m trying to be brief, I’ll get to the point. Whatever you and Noah have is more than a friendship, even though he keeps telling me otherwise. I see the way he looks at you and how he always turns to you. That should have been me the other night with my arms around him. I’m asking you to give me and him some time without having you around. Noah can’t seem to move on with me if you’re still in the picture. His kneejerk reaction is to always turn to you. I don’t know why you and he aren’t together. I’m really not interested in that story.” She paused, taking in a deep breath. “If you care about Noah and want him to be happy, then walk away. Let him see you’re not the one he needs to turn to. I’m the one that’s here for him now, not you.”

I wasn’t sure if I was more shocked or pissed at her request. I stared her straight in the eye keeping my face neutral.

“You’ll get your wish in a couple of months when I leave for college.”

“I was hoping you would walk away from him now.”

“You expect me to abandon Noah now when he’s just lost his father? That would break him. He’d hate me,” I said.

“You’re being a bit overdramatic with the,
it would break him
, don’t you think?”

“Of all times to be thinking of yourself… You’re an A-list selfish bitch, you know that?” I felt the veins in my neck throb. I involuntarily balled my hands into fists. She completely ignored my comment.

“And hate’s a very strong word, but I think it’s needed to finally make the break from you. I’m sure eventually Noah will want to talk to you again. By that time he and I will have a more solid relationship,” she said.

I’m not a violent person, but I wanted to have a smack down right there in the Stewart’s backyard.

“Why would I do this for you?” I asked.

“It wouldn’t be for me. I know you love Noah. It’s written all over your face. We both know you’re not the right woman for him. Don’t be selfish, Amanda. Let him move on and have a happy life. He has me now to give him that. He doesn’t need to be attached to you anymore.”

I was glued to my spot. I couldn’t get my legs to move to get the hell away from her. I wanted to argue with her. Tell her she was out of line and completely insane if she thought I would walk away from Noah. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. Deep down I knew she was right, not about her being what he needs, but everything else. If I were being honest with myself, I hadn’t even considered going on a date with anyone since the Brad incident. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting on. I guess maybe I wasn’t able to move on while Noah was such a daily presence in my life.

I had enough of Brooke and her caring/jealous girlfriend bit. It was time to end our little chat.

“I’ll think about it.” I started to walk past her when her words stopped me.

“Whether you do it this week, next week, or whenever, it’s going to hurt him. If you do it sooner rather than later, he’ll at least have the summer to get over it. That way he’ll be able to start his first semester at college with no distractions. Maybe I’m not the one here being so selfish.” She gave me one last icy look, before I turned and walk away.

It had been a week since Brooke and I had our little talk. Well, she talked. I mainly listened. I officially hated Brooke now, no gray area at all. I knew she was right, though. It’s pretty impossible to get past wanting someone you love when they are always in front of you, causing the love to only get stronger.

The night before Mr. Stewart’s funeral proved that neither Noah nor I had much control over our feelings for one another. His happiness was the most important thing to me. I didn’t know if Brooke would be the one to make him happy, but they deserved a shot at it. Noah deserved a shot at it. I knew he’d be furious with me, but I was sure after some time apart we will have both moved on and gotten over the pull that our attraction has on each of us, then we can be in each other’s lives again as friends.

It felt like I was walking in quicksand as we made our way to our spot. I dreaded what I had to do. I kept telling myself I was doing it for Noah. I had spent every possible minute I could with him this week, because I knew this day was coming. I had gone over and over in my head what I was going to say. On the way to our spot, my mind went completely blank.

Once we got to our table, he started to help me up to sit, but I shook my head. He leaned against the end of the table, looking at me standing in front of him.

Confusion and concern were in his eyes when he asked, “What’s going on? You’ve been so quiet this past week.”