Pretty Poison (18 page)

“Why didn’t you say so?” Lydia sat, heaving out a relieved breath. “Well. That’s settled then,” she said with a wide grin.

“Yes. I think so.” Wade skimmed a kiss across Noah’s cheek. “Why don’t you go get dressed. Freshen up. With this unpleasantness out of the way, you can visit with your sister more comfortably.”

Noah knew that husky warmth in Wade’s voice, knew it well. He was also painfully aware that Wade had intended to invite Noah’s father, brothers, and sister to the full moon hunt in a few days. Sharing the hunt and this last ritual of Noah’s mating was an effort to sway the rogue family into reintegrating with the pack. His mate had no hope of achieving that while Noah’s kin viewed Wade as an enemy. Noah understood, as Wade’s alpha mate, persuading them had become Noah’s responsibility, too. One Noah wouldn’t shirk. His father, brothers, and especially his sister, belonged with the pack and would be happier inside it.

But settled?

Oh, no.

This fight wasn’t finished yet. Not by half.

Chapter Nine

Shadows stretched across the blacktop and blended into the coming darkness. The white disc of the moon climbed above the horizon. For the first time, Noah felt its elemental call singing to him. Soft. Peaceful. Yet, ominous.

“Being nervous is natural,” Wade said, steering the Tahoe from the city. They were alone in the vehicle. That was a minor miracle since every shifter in Loganville would attend this full moon hunt, but a few families didn’t own sports utility vehicles to reach the meeting site. Pack transportation was in high demand. Fletcher had bitterly complained about the remote gathering point Wade had selected. The pack’s territory encompassed hundreds of undeveloped acres outside the city; several locations were nearer, with roads instead of the beta’s jeering designation of “goat paths.” Wade wouldn’t consider areas that were closer or more accessible for one stingy second, though

Noah’s father and two of his brothers had declined Wade’s invitation to the hunt. Despite Wade bending enough to permit Noah to call the farm, they’d turned down Noah’s invitation, too. Lydia had tried, but they wouldn’t listen to her, either. She’d sworn to bring Scott, at least. His sister couldn’t have been happier to attend. William, the youngest of Noah’s brothers, hadn’t congratulated him, but had sworn to be there to support him. One brother had been willing to give Wade a chance. Not Dad, though. Not Mikael or Geoffrey. Nothing Noah had said, even his bald pleas, had swayed them.

Until Noah had been welcomed as alpha mate by the Loganville pack, the hunt would occur as far from potential trouble as Wade could get it. If that meant driving to the ass end of nowhere along hiking trails masquerading as roads, so be it.

Noah stared out the passenger side window, watching the cornstalks zip by them. “I’m not nervous,” he said. Amazingly, that wasn’t exactly a lie. He should be nervous. Petrified. Within the hour, Wade would present him as his chosen mate to the pack. One or two shifter families were guaranteed to object, but Wade was a strong, fierce alpha. Only a fool would oppose him. He’d been a positive force inside the Loganville pack, dedicated, self-sacrificing. Several shifters might complain about his choice of mate, but a formal challenge against Wade’s leadership was unlikely. Wade’s betas and their mates would stand by Noah and him, as well as pack members like Tanner, for whom Noah had choked down disgusting sweetbreads to befriend. Trudy, too, and the pack’s teenagers, who Noah had courted with technological gifts and a future that didn’t require a hardhat. Lydia was right. Objections had been raised. But Noah had cultivated relationships in the pack to dissuade shifters from acting on those complaints. Wade’s choice of his alpha mate would be...tolerated.

But that part was easy.

What nauseated Noah was the shifting and hunting to come afterward. Noah had practiced. Surrendering to his wolf wasn’t the prolonged and ugly trial he’d endured even a week ago. Thanks to Fletcher and the encouragement of the teens who shared his training, Noah had whittled his admittedly awkward shift down to under a minute. Still hurt, but Fletcher said shifting was like tearing off a bandage. The sting would ache less when he didn’t instinctively cringe from the pain. Quick was best. Giving into his animal nature a little faster every day had helped, but he wasn’t quite there yet.

He couldn’t walk as a wolf. He probably never would. Trudy’s medicines had worked wonders, as had regular shifting. His left knee could mostly bear his weight now. He could stand for short stretches of time without the leg buckling, and if he was careful, he was able to move as a wolf in a steadily widening circle around him by dragging his right haunch.

The alpha’s ritual hunt for his mate in pack territory would be no chase at all, though, not for them.

Noah glared out the window, at the farmland that bled into fields dotted with trees. Sometimes he hated being different. Despised it. The fall hadn’t even been his fault. Building codes grandfathered into an apartment complex hadn’t kept pace with safety features in newer buildings. Balcony guardrail posts had been spaced plenty wide enough to slide a four year-old through. Just an accident, senseless and stupidly preventable. He’d been paying that bill since he’d been too young to understand other shifters might hate him for that. He was still paying. The absurdity of Wade’s non-chase was another invoice in a lifetime full of unfair debts. Unfortunately for Noah, this time, that bothered him. He wished he could be like everybody else, if only once. He
wanted
to be chased. He wanted to run and craved making Wade work to catch him.

He wasn’t going to get that. No matter how mightily he longed for it.

Because of the fall. Because of his cursed knee.

The unnecessary reminder that there were things Noah would never be physically capable of needled him.

Wade took the first off-road turn onto a path of freshly churned dirt mixed with gravel. “Someday, you’ll talk to me,” Wade said. “I’ll do whatever you want, but we need to move past this.”

Over the last several days, Wade had made every effort to seduce Noah to him. Not physically. Noah had few barriers to his mate when they touched, nor Wade to him. Their sex was beautiful. If they could be satisfied with fucking alone, their mating would be perfect, but Wade desired more from his mate than a warm, willing body. At least he realized he wanted more than sex after Noah stopped reaching out to him after Lydia’s disastrous visit. Wade had escorted Noah to restaurants or arranged private hours in their suite for every meal since. He’d prodded Noah about his website design business and looked over Noah’s shoulder at his laptop to see what he was doing and ask questions. Noah’s terse answers hadn’t fazed Wade. He just kept trying. He’d spoken of his life in his old pack, how the tragic deaths of his parents in a car wreck had drawn him closer to the then teenaged Grace and confessed envy that Noah’s father cared so deeply for him. Wade missed both of his parents. A lot.

He’d talked about his dreams for the pack, the places he’d been, and the vacation spots he’d like to share with Noah. Last night, Wade had picked a movie for them to watch, just the two of them, an extravaganza of fiery explosions and interstellar war. He’d settled with Noah on the couch, and when their fingers had tangled in the tub of popcorn, neither had minded that mutual blowjobs had interrupted the onscreen mayhem. After, Wade had coerced Noah into picking his favorite among the scattered DVDs.

His normally reserved and taciturn mate hadn’t shut up in days. That Noah had stopped talking in return had simply prodded the man to woo Noah more and more stubbornly. “We’ll move past it when you realize I’m no delicate flower, Wade.”

Wade tightened his fingers on the steering wheel, his knuckles shining white against the feeble light cast by the dashboard gauges. “I know you’re strong, damn it,” he said through gritted teeth. “Strongest shifter I’ve ever known.” He glanced at Noah, his stare glittering with frustrated admiration. “Do you believe any other shifter could’ve endured years of painful medical treatments and reckless poisoning without losing hope? Without giving up? That
I
could?”

“Good thing you aren’t me then.” Noah winked at him, bitter sarcasm heavily lacing Noah’s tone. “It’s a blessing that a fragile creature like me has you to look out for me, too, Oh Wise One.”

Pounding the steering wheel in irritation, Wade seethed. “Why do you have to be such a dick about this? I’m thinking of you!”

Noah grunted in disdain. “I suggest you start thinking about how readily the pack will accept me, which would make both our lives considerably easier, once I prove I’m physically as capable as every last one of them.”

“You absolutely will not suspend your training in shifter craft after this full moon hunt to breed whelps for me or this pack.” Wade’s mouth pinched to a harsh line as he turned the steering wheel to the left, muscling the Tahoe onto a cavernously rutted path through green brush with spiny limbs that scraped the sides of the vehicle. “I forbid it.”

“Is that right?
You
forbid it.” Noah snorted, spine straightening. “Wish you crazy luck with that, buddy. You’re going to need it.”

Wade straightened his spine, his broad shoulders bunching. “Trudy says—”

“—that I can handle childbearing if the litter is small and we take appropriate precautions.” Noah braced his arms on the passenger door and the dash as the rough terrain rocked the Tahoe side to side. “Fletcher agrees, too. A whelp, maybe two, would convince the complainers that I truly do mean to integrate with the pack, despite my bad leg and the changes I set in motion by giving the teens laptops.”

“
We
gave them computers. Not just you.” Wade shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. It’s not going to happen. No babies. Trudy might believe you’d carry one or two to term, but she also said not being able to shift during the two months you carried them could set your recovery back.”

“
Could
is not a synonym for
would
.”

Throwing out an arm to restrain Noah, Wade slammed on the brakes. Seat belt or no seat belt, Noah pitched forward and into Wade’s grip. The alpha glared at him, eyes sparking ill-tempered red. “I care about you,” Wade yelled.

Noah gulped. He struggled with his aggravation, fought to push those unproductive feelings down. “If I can manage to not be afraid of this, why can’t you?” He relaxed tense muscles when Wade silently withdrew the splayed hand planted on Noah’s sternum. “Our wolves are ready. Our instincts wouldn’t drive us to tie if we weren’t, and those drives and impulses are more sensitive to what we truly need than our human ones are. Nurturing a family together will cement our bonding. Don’t you want that?”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry you can’t run tonight. I would do anything to give you a chase as fun and exciting as any mating shifter could wish for. I’m sorry the pack is so unstable that following blind tradition seems like such a good idea.” Wade scrubbed his hand down his face. “But there are other ways to cement our bond and our place in the pack. We don’t need tonight’s damned chase, and we don’t need kids.”

Heart beating a rapid staccato against his rib cage, Noah rested his hand on Wade’s taut thigh. “I appreciate that you’ve been opening up to me the past couple days, and that you’re finally spending time with me. I do.”

“I like being with you.” Wade shrugged a stiff shoulder. “Not just fucking, either. Nobody pushes me like you do. Most shifters can’t roll over and show me their bellies fast enough, but not you.” He huffed out a laugh. “Everything you do fascinates me, even your pissy attitude when you don’t get your way. Everything. That’s how I knew you were genuinely it for me. The One. You challenge me, but that never feels threatening. Deep down, I understand you aren’t trying to undermine me.” He turned to face Noah and smiled. “You make me want to be a better man.”

“I...” Noah swallowed the ball that had stuck in his throat. “I like being with you, too.”

The warm weight of Wade’s hand blanketed Noah’s. “Then why?” he asked. “Why the hurry to have kids?”

“Because it isn’t just about you and me.” Noah tipped his chin to the windshield and the high beams spotlighting brambles and woods beyond them. “Your people—”

“They’re your people, too.”

Noah rolled his eyes. “Fine.
Our
people will expect things. It’s how shifter relationships have developed, especially for alpha pairs. We’re throwing so much at them between my bad leg and encouraging the older kids to explore careers using computers. The pack needs reassurances that you and I are solid, committed. That we haven’t entirely upended their world as they know it. Becoming a family will help.”

“You’re only twenty.” When Noah refused to revisit that argument, Wade bit his lip. “Having kids so fast is barbaric.”

“It is.” Noah nodded. “But it’s also tradition. We’ve obliterated so many of those. If you want to change things...”

Wade clasped Noah’s fingers in his, drew them up to his lips. Kissed each fingertip. “You know I do.”

“Then we need to ease the pack into this. Pick our battles. That’s the way to win a war: one plodding battle after another. If we force what we want on them right away, all at once, some shifters will balk. A few have already or
you
wouldn’t be so nervous about tonight’s hunt.” Noah smiled, a little sad, pride in Wade mixing with his irritation. “Think about it. That’s all I’m asking.”

He didn’t say anything, made no promises. Wade exhaled a long breath and took his foot off the brake. The Tahoe crept forward. Noah’s shoulders slumped as they followed the curvy path through dense underbrush. It wasn’t a “no.” Wade hadn’t explicitly refused to consider kids, but why was he being so difficult? His mate was a good alpha. He’d introduced so many changes to the pack, positive steps in the right direction. He had to understand that mating Noah and encouraging the next generation of pack kids into careers that had normally been barred to shifters would cause blowback, especially among the older pack members, many of whom had once wanted to kill Noah. Wade wasn’t dumb. Did he want an outright rebellion? A litter of whelps would prevent that. Show these people that Wade and Noah respected and valued some of the old traditions, too.