Prison Nation (22 page)
Authors: Jenni Merritt
I could hear Reed speaking in a low voice, leaning in close to Eddie’s ear. “Cool it man,” he said, his other hand moving to hold Eddie’s flexed arm. “You don’t wanna get killed, do you? Or worse?”
Eddie took in a few heavy breaths, his hands still clenched in tight balls. Then he nodded, letting his shoulders relax, slightly. He remained on edge, constantly staring into the back of the man’s head. I waited for a hole to appear at any moment in the man’s finely smoothed hair.
The line moved forward, the couple finally being ushered off to find a table. I was happy to see them leave. I hated the way the woman stroked the man’s back. The way the man kept leaning in to whisper dripping words into her ear made my skin crawl. As they walked away, the man glanced behind him at Eddie, winking with a sly grin before disappearing around the corner.
“
Stupid pricks,” Eddie muttered. His arms were folded across his chest, his chin tucked down angrily.
Stupid pricks,” Eddie muttered. His arms were folded across his chest, his chin tucked down angrily.
I felt strange on my feet. My mind kept trying to fog over and I fought it madly. I didn’t want to disappear right now. It licked at the corners of my mind. It begged to embrace me and carry me away into my escape from reality. The man’s sly smile as he passed out of sight sent the fog into a frenzy. I felt my body sway.
Reed moved closer. Carefully, so lightly I barely noticed, he laid his hand on the small of my back. I gratefully leaned against it. I could hear him breathing next to me, his eyes watching me as I let him support my weight. The fog backed away, barely visible now in the corner of my vision.
We moved forward. Reed kept his hand on my back, guiding me to a table sitting next to a large window. I sat down. I hadn’t realized how tired my legs were. Reed waited until he saw me settle, then took the seat next to me. Eddie plopped down across from me, still glowering.
A car rolled by outside on the road, its wheels crunching on the paved road. We all paused and looked out the window. I could feel as we collectively held out breaths, watching the dusty police car creep past. The driver, a star pinned to his armored vest, looked through the glass back at us and nodded a short greeting before rolling on. Eddie watched the car a moment longer before letting a smile take over his darkened face.
“
Well, like the prick said, time to get our grub on,” Eddie said lightly. He opened a menu and started scanning the lists of food.
Well, like the prick said, time to get our grub on,” Eddie said lightly. He opened a menu and started scanning the lists of food.
I had no money on me. I hadn’t planned on coming into town, most likely ever, and when we had randomly decided to make the trip I had completely forgotten to grab any cash. In Spokane, we never used money, at all. I hadn’t even thought to grab any before we headed into town. Resting my hand on top of the menu, I stared at the down, wanting desperately to order one of the delicious smelling foods that wafted through the air. But with no money, I knew I couldn’t.
“
What’s wrong?” Reed asked, glancing over to me. My hand still rested on the closed menu.
What’s wrong?” Reed asked, glancing over to me. My hand still rested on the closed menu.
“
I forgot my money,” I said, feeling stupid. My eyes tried to fog over, and I blinked it away angrily.
I forgot my money,” I said, feeling stupid. My eyes tried to fog over, and I blinked it away angrily.
“
Don’t worry. I got it.” Reed smiled at me. Reaching over, he picked up the menu, sliding it out from under my hand, and opened it. “You need to eat. I don’t like how you were swaying back there.”
Don’t worry. I got it.” Reed smiled at me. Reaching over, he picked up the menu, sliding it out from under my hand, and opened it. “You need to eat. I don’t like how you were swaying back there.”
“
Reed…”
Reed…”
“
It’s just a few bucks. No problem.” He smiled again and tapped the menu, encouraging me to choose something.
It’s just a few bucks. No problem.” He smiled again and tapped the menu, encouraging me to choose something.
I scanned the menu, trying to find something cheap. I felt horrible for making Reed pay. He smiled easily at me, still trying to reassure me that it was alright. I finally settled on a bowl of pumpkin soup, its description hinted with spices and warm French bread causing my stomach to growl. I had never had pumpkin before.
It didn’t take long for the food to arrive. The soup smelled amazing, and before I knew it I was spooning it into my mouth, letting it envelope my tongue in its sweet silky flavor. Eddie pounded down a burger, topped with almost every option listed. I had no idea how he could eat so much, but somehow wasn’t surprised when he called the waitress back to order a second burger.
Reed carefully ate his sandwich. He joined in Eddie’s playful banter, but something obviously still nagged at his mind.
The meal went fast. The waitress came by once more, slipping a black folder onto the table.
“
Here you go, handsome,” she said, winking shamelessly at Eddie.
Here you go, handsome,” she said, winking shamelessly at Eddie.
Eddie beamed a toothy smile, running his fingers through his red hair. “Why thank you, ma’am. Might I say, those burgers were delicious.”
“
Oh hon, they aren’t the only delicious things here,” the waitress replied, her voice dripping. The waitress glanced over at Reed and me. “Looks like the restaurant is full of delicious today.” She winked at Reed.
Oh hon, they aren’t the only delicious things here,” the waitress replied, her voice dripping. The waitress glanced over at Reed and me. “Looks like the restaurant is full of delicious today.” She winked at Reed.
Reed politely smiled back to the waitress, then reached into his pocket for some money, averting his eyes from her overly made-up ones. “Don’t mind him,” Eddie said, chuckling. “He’s on a first date, and I’m just intruding.”
“
First… Eddie, honestly.” Reed shook his head, forcing a nervous laugh. I could see him glance out of the corner of his eye in my direction, his cheeks looking more red than usual. I could feel my own cheeks reflecting his heat.
First… Eddie, honestly.” Reed shook his head, forcing a nervous laugh. I could see him glance out of the corner of his eye in my direction, his cheeks looking more red than usual. I could feel my own cheeks reflecting his heat.
The waitress smiled at Eddie again, then turned and walked away. “See you later, Eddie,” she called over her shoulder.
“
Bye Rhonda,” Eddie called back to her, pretending to blow a kiss to her back.
Bye Rhonda,” Eddie called back to her, pretending to blow a kiss to her back.
Reed raised an eyebrow at Eddie, his fingers counting out a few bills from his wallet.
“
What?” Eddie asked innocently. “We went on a date. Once. I think.” A bashful smile crept across his face as he ran his fingers through his hair again. “She said she liked my red curls.”
What?” Eddie asked innocently. “We went on a date. Once. I think.” A bashful smile crept across his face as he ran his fingers through his hair again. “She said she liked my red curls.”
The boys both chuckled, slipping their money into the black folder before standing. Eddie snatched a handful of fries from his almost empty plate, stuffing some into his mouth as he took a step away from the table. I glanced at the folder. Leaving it there on the table, full of money, did not seem like a good idea.
“
It’s okay,” Reed said, leaning toward me. “They got it.” He pointed to the waitress, who waited politely a few tables away. She nodded at me, flashing a brilliant smile before wiggling her fingers at Eddie.
It’s okay,” Reed said, leaning toward me. “They got it.” He pointed to the waitress, who waited politely a few tables away. She nodded at me, flashing a brilliant smile before wiggling her fingers at Eddie.
Reed placed his hand on my back. I melted against his hand’s gentle pressure. It felt strange to relish the touch of him. I no longer recoiled or pushed him away. Instead, against all my thoughts and will, I found myself looking forward to his next touch.
It confused me like nothing else.
We walked back out onto the sidewalk. Across the street there was an office that I hadn’t noticed before, its windows blocked with thick white paper. On a board hung above the closed door, painted in fading black, it read: Records.
“
What’s that?” I asked, pointed at the office.
What’s that?” I asked, pointed at the office.
Reed’s eyes followed the direction of my finger. “Records? It’s a place where you can find out about the records of any newspaper, arrest, court sessions, sentencings… you know. All of that. Right in there.” Reed clenched his jaw, nodding toward the office.
“
Why would you want to do that?” I asked, shocked.
Why would you want to do that?” I asked, shocked.
“
Some people like to know the truth. Looking up records seems to be the only way to dig some of it up.”
Some people like to know the truth. Looking up records seems to be the only way to dig some of it up.”
The truth. Everyone lately seemed to be more and more obsessed with that. Being a criminal, committing crimes, and being punished for them, that was the truth. I couldn’t see what else they could look for.
Reed was watching my face, his own deep in thought. As if reading my mind, he leaned in closer, his voice soft. “There is a gray zone in life, Millie. People say everything is black and white. But sometimes… sometimes there is more to the story than what he said or she said. There is always some sort of gray zone.”
Eddie stepped up beside me. He was munching on the fries he had snatched up from his plate, casually wiping his greasy hand on his jeans. “So Millie, what got your folks locked up?” he asked through the mouthful of fries.
I felt the knot rise in my throat. “Murder,” I said, barely audible.
“
Murder? Really?” Eddie laughed, choking on his fries as he tried to swallow the mouthful. “How awesome is that!” He moved to slap me on the back, but Reed suddenly intersected his hand, pushing it away sharply.
Murder? Really?” Eddie laughed, choking on his fries as he tried to swallow the mouthful. “How awesome is that!” He moved to slap me on the back, but Reed suddenly intersected his hand, pushing it away sharply.
“
Eddie. Really?”
Eddie. Really?”
Eddie stopped, lowering his hand to his side. He looked back and forth between us before a smile hinted at the corners of his mouth. “You know, I think I’m going to go mingle. Meet back up in an hour?”
Reed nodded. Eddie winked at me then wandered off down the sidewalk, his backpack swinging with his loose swagger.
“
Sorry. About Eddie.” Reed put his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “What he said in the restaurant, about it being a date, I didn’t mean for it to seem like it was a –”
Sorry. About Eddie.” Reed put his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “What he said in the restaurant, about it being a date, I didn’t mean for it to seem like it was a –”
“
It’s fine,” I interrupted, offering Reed a soft smile. “I didn’t mind. I really don’t.”
It’s fine,” I interrupted, offering Reed a soft smile. “I didn’t mind. I really don’t.”
Reed returned my smile. Together, we turned and looked at the Records office in silence. The sign swung slightly in the growing breeze, its hinges creaking. I read the sign over and over, my eyes tracing each letter as if searching for what truth the sign might hold.
“
Have you ever thought of looking them up?” Reed asked.
Have you ever thought of looking them up?” Reed asked.
“
My parents?” I stopped, thinking. I had honestly never thought about it. Up until that moment, I had never even known that it was possible. “No, I guess not.”
My parents?” I stopped, thinking. I had honestly never thought about it. Up until that moment, I had never even known that it was possible. “No, I guess not.”
“
You are mad at them, aren’t you?”
You are mad at them, aren’t you?”
I turned to Reed. “Wouldn’t you be? If you were me, wouldn’t you be mad?” I asked, my voice slicing through the air. I hung in mid breath, almost begging for his answer.
Reed lightly shrugged. “They would still be my parents,” he said softly.
“
They murdered people, Reed.” My voice hissed, but I didn’t care to stop it. I felt desperate, like I was suddenly drowning and my words were the only thing that could save me. “And what’s even worse, they told me they didn’t regret it. They said the men deserved it. The men deserved to be killed because my parents ‘didn’t like them.’ What kind of monsters –”
They murdered people, Reed.” My voice hissed, but I didn’t care to stop it. I felt desperate, like I was suddenly drowning and my words were the only thing that could save me. “And what’s even worse, they told me they didn’t regret it. They said the men deserved it. The men deserved to be killed because my parents ‘didn’t like them.’ What kind of monsters –”
“
Monsters. They do sound like monsters.” Reed looked me in the eyes, watching me. He leaned in closer, bending down to make sure I could see his face as he studied me. “But have you ever wondered if there could be more to the story?”
Monsters. They do sound like monsters.” Reed looked me in the eyes, watching me. He leaned in closer, bending down to make sure I could see his face as he studied me. “But have you ever wondered if there could be more to the story?”
I felt my head nodding. I couldn’t speak. Before my parents had told me their crime, I had always hoped there might be a loophole. Some sort of forgotten truth that would set them free. Some mistake that had happened that could prove they never deserved the life they had lived for the last eighteen years. Could it be possible that hope could still live?
“
Maybe. Not right now though. I just…” I trailed out, letting my eyes drift back to the sign.
Maybe. Not right now though. I just…” I trailed out, letting my eyes drift back to the sign.
“
Hey, no rush. That office isn’t going anywhere.”
Hey, no rush. That office isn’t going anywhere.”
Reed put his hand on my back again, guiding me down the sidewalk. We walked slowly, enjoying the still warm sun. It was nice to get away from the apple picking for the day. I hadn’t realized how dull the routine at the Orchard had gotten until now. Walking down the side of the street, with nothing planned or expected turned out to be a welcome change.
I took a deep breath, the feeling of drowning disappearing with each step we took away from the office. The fog teased me, but I blinked it away.
“
Reed,” I asked, finally venturing into a question that had been on my mind. “You said your parents are gone… where are they?”
Reed,” I asked, finally venturing into a question that had been on my mind. “You said your parents are gone… where are they?”
Reed stared ahead, his hand still light on my back. “Dead.”
“
Oh,” I said, unable to think of a better response. “Do you know… who…”
Oh,” I said, unable to think of a better response. “Do you know… who…”
“
The Nation killed my parents.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw Reed clench his eyes shut a moment, swallowing hard.
The Nation killed my parents.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw Reed clench his eyes shut a moment, swallowing hard.
We stopped at a street corner. A few cars passed, followed by the same rolling police car. The man with the star pin, the Sheriff no doubt, drove slowly by. His eyes fastened on mine a moment before he looked away. I could barely see him through the tinted glass, talking into a small radio before driving on. Reed watched the car disappear around the corner. His eyes suddenly glittered, his breath coming quick as he grabbed my hand and held it tightly in his.
“
Come on,” he said. “I want to get you something.”
Come on,” he said. “I want to get you something.”
He pulled me across the street, his mood suddenly light and happy. I tried to protest. I already felt strange that he had bought me food. I knew I would have to repay him. Now he wanted to get me something else. It didn’t feel right. Reed shouldn’t be spending anything on me. He barely knew me.
Reed ignored my silent protest. His hand, firmly holding mine, pulled me along behind him. I looked down to see his fingers wrapped around mine, tiny scars from working at the Orchard in the trees scattered across his tan knuckles. My hand looked so small and pale in his, but something that seemed right about their stark contrast.
I looked up in time to see he had pulled me to a stop in front of the clothing store we had first passed. The mannequins in the windows smiled at me, beckoning me in. I looked down at my dirty blue shirt, my used prison jeans. The loose seams, the dirt stains and tears made me very aware of Reed’s other hand on my back, touching the worn-out shirt.
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