Professor Cline: Redeemed (Professor #2) (4 page)

I placed my order with the waiter as he came back around and kept to myself for the rest of the dinner. After my little announcement of seeing someone, Tim’s demeanor toward me completely changed. He conversed with Brett, the other guy who had arrived with them, and ignored me. I was fine with that. It was Mel’s glances I was trying to ignore. I knew she saw the way I was looking at my phone, and she definitely had questions she wanted to ask me. She tried, but I shook my head to tell her
not now
.

When dinner was finally over, it was already past nine. I had made up my mind to meet Mason, but I couldn’t just get up and leave. I didn’t want to make a scene, so I patiently waited. I just hoped he was still there when I arrived.

“Well, I guess we better head off now. I know Emma has some reading to do, and I don’t want to make her stay up any longer then she needs to,” Melanie said with a laugh.

“Thank you so much for allowing us to join you, Mr. Cline,” I said as I started to get up from my seat. “I had a wonderful evening, but I do have a lot to go over before Wednesday’s class.”

“It was good to see you, Emma. I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again,” he said with a smile.

“Have a good night,” I replied as I looked around the table with a small smile on my face before we headed toward the exit.

Melanie walked behind me until we exited the restaurant, and then she grabbed my arm. “Okay, what’s going on with you? You’ve been in a daze ever since you got a text. Is everything all right? Is it Victoria or Becky?”

I shook my head and began to walk once more. “No.” I glanced at her for a moment as she walked beside me then stared down at the sidewalk. “If I tell you, I don’t want you to freak out. I’m only saying something because you’re my sister and I don’t want any judgments.”

“Okay,” she drawled.

“It was Mason.”

I looked over to examine her expression, but she averted her eyes. I knew she had something to say, but she was holding it back.

“He wants me to meet him in Central Park,” I continued as I glanced around at the people walking the streets. It wasn’t busy for that time of night, but it was still more people than I thought would be out on a weekday.

“Are you going to go?”

I stared straight ahead for a moment before stopping to turn and look at her.

“I am,” I replied quickly. “I know you think it’s a horrible decision and I agree, but I have to go. Deep down, I know it’s stupid. He’s my professor, and it’s wrong in more ways than one, but I can’t help the way I feel. He apologized to me today,” I said as I looked down. “I was rude and basically said I didn’t want to hear what he had to say.”

“So, you’re going because you feel bad?” she concluded.

“No, I’m going because I want to see him. I can’t explain it to you, but it feels right. I don’t understand it,” I said as I shook my head.

I didn’t know how to explain to her how I felt. I knew I shouldn’t want to see him. I should run far way, but I couldn’t. It felt wrong.

Melanie started moving again, and I turned to walk beside her.

“I’m not going to judge you, Em. I just want you to be smart about this. This is your life, but you have dreams that you’ve been chasing for a long time. I don’t want you to mess that up for yourself.”

I leaned into her to wrap my arm around her waist and pull her close to me. “I know, and I love that you care so much. This will probably end badly with an ‘I told you so’ remark, but I want to explore what’s there. He might not even feel what I feel, but I’ll never know unless I go for it.”

We were both quiet as we walked to the end of the street and came to a stop, pulling away from each other.

“What time are you supposed to meet him?”

“Nine.”

She lifted her arm to look at her watch and gave me a frown. “Well, you’re already a half hour late. Are you still going to go?”

I nodded with a smile.

She reached out to me and embraced me in a hug.

“Just text me and let me know you’re safe, okay?”

She pulled away and gave me a short wave before heading toward the subway.

I let out a sigh and turned in the other direction toward the street to hail a cab.

“Where to, miss?” the cab driver asked.

“Central Park,” I stated as my heart started to beat faster in my chest.

I was nervous. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t even know if he’d still be there, but I had to go. I could’ve been making the worst decision of my life going to see him, but if I didn’t? I’d always wonder what could have happened.

I needed to know what this was between us. And there was only one way to find out.

Mason

I’d walked around the fountain twelve times and she still hadn’t shown up. I wasn’t upset. I was frustrated with myself.

I debated on whether or not I should have even texted her. After getting off the phone with Victor and scheduling an appointment to see him on Friday, I went upstairs to my gym and ran out all the thoughts that flowed through my mind.

A part of me wanted to get dressed and go on the prowl. Do what I normally did. It was who I was, all that I was used to. This new person working his way out was a stranger to me, and I didn’t fucking like it. But the thought of picking someone up and bringing them to my condo wasn’t appealing to me. I didn’t want just anyone. Tony’s words kept repeating in my head.
That one’s something special.
He was right, and without a second thought, I went into my student files and pulled out Emma’s number. I had stared at the phone for at least twenty minutes before I finally sent her the text to meet me at the fountain.

I knew there was a chance she wouldn’t show up, especially with the way things went after class. I didn’t expect her to be so assertive, but that was one of the things that attracted me to her. I loved her feistiness. She was honest and beautiful, and I was a scarred, fucked-up asshole.
I should do what I’d vowed to do. I should stay away from her.
But I couldn’t.

I needed her.

A light breeze blew around me, and I stopped and looked up at the sky. It was hard to see the stars in the city, but in Central Park, it was an amazing view. The stars were faint in the sky, but they were still there.

“It’s beautiful out here.”

Her voice took me by surprise and I snapped my head down to meet her smiling face, offering her a smile of my own.

“You came,” I stated, turning to her with my hands in my pockets.

“Yes. I came.” She clasped her hands in front of her and diverted her gaze to look up at the sky. “I’ve always loved coming out here. It makes me miss home.”

I looked at her as she stared up at the sky. It amazed me how at ease she appeared to be when she was around me. She was shy, but always seemed to get past it and open up. It made me wonder, if she knew exactly what type of man I was, would she still feel at ease around me? She knew about my scars, but that was only half of it.

“Do you plan on going back home for your break?”

She turned to me and shook her head. “I’ll be here with Melanie. I plan on visiting in the summer, though.”

We were quiet as we looked each other over. I was still shocked to see her standing in front of me. Deep down, I didn’t expect her to show up and for the first time in my life, I was nervous. I had no idea what I was doing.

“So,” she said as she averted her eyes and started to walk, but then abruptly stopped. “Why did you ask me to meet you here?”

I smirked at her forwardness.

“I needed to see you.” It was an instant reply, one I didn’t have to think about.

“You
needed
to see me?” Shaking her head, she crossed her arms over her chest and glanced down at her feet. She was quiet for a moment before she finally looked back up at me. “I don’t understand what’s going on between us, Mason. You’re hot one minute then cold the next. You either want me to bend to your every command or you want me to go away.”

She shook her head again, and I could see the frustration on her face. “I don’t want to play games. I don’t have
time
for games and you don’t seem like the kind of man who plays them, but yet, here you are. So tell me. Why did you want me to meet you?”

This was something I’d never had to deal with, a woman asking questions. I usually moved on to the next. I didn’t have to explain myself. I did what I did because I wanted to. It was the way I lived my life. The way I’ve done it for years and for the first time, I didn’t know what the fuck to say.
Do I tell her that just seeing her face calms me? Do I tell her just being near her makes me feel like a different man? Do I tell her she makes me want to change?
No, I could never tell her that.

I didn’t know how to open myself up to someone else. I didn’t know how to let my mask fall.

I turned and started walking around the fountain again, trying to figure out what to say to make her understand. The only thing I could tell her was the truth, or rather, part of it.

I looked to the side to see her walking beside me, and a small smile lifted onto my lips.

“You
are
right. I’m not the type of man who plays games,” I stated as I kept my gaze straight ahead. “I take what I want then move on to the next.” We continued to walk slowly around the fountain and she kept quiet, waiting for me to continue. “But with you, it’s different. With you, I want more.” I stopped and turned to her to see her brows furrowed. “This is unexplored territory for me, and I’m not exactly sure what to say.” I chuckled at my nonsense, of how stupid I really must sound. I shook my head. “I’m not even making any sense.”

“Yes,” she blurted. “You are. But that still doesn’t explain to me what exactly you’re after. What is it you want from me? I just got out of a three-year relationship, and I’m not exactly ready to jump into another one. Plus, you’re my professor. Things can’t end well.”

I stepped closer to her until we were mere inches apart and lifted my hand to her face. She looked up at me, and her eyes glowed from the street lamps that surrounded us.
She is so beautiful.

“I just want you.” I didn’t want to live my shell of a life anymore and I didn’t know how to break past my demons, but I knew the way she made me feel. She was hope when my life was filled with nothing but despair. “I know you feel this connection, too. We can just explore what this is. I told you before that I wasn’t going to give up.”

She stepped away from me with an
inscrutable expression. “You can tell me anything you want, Mason, but your actions speak louder than words. You say you want me, but what about all the times you gave me the cold shoulder? I can’t handle that. I won’t keep putting myself in a situation that I know is going to end badly for me, even though I’m aware that connection is there, too. You’re too unsure of what you want.”

I placed my hand back into my pocket and let out a sigh before looking around the park. A few people were walking around, and I didn’t want to continue having this conversation out in the open.

Grabbing Emma’s hand, I led her up the stairs of the terrace and pulled her down to sit next to me on one of the steps.

“I know it wasn’t fair of me to treat you the way I have been. There are things about me—” I cleared my throat and debated on what to tell her. I definitely couldn’t tell her the truth. The only person I’d tell any of it to would be Victor, and that was only because I had to in order for action to be taken. “My life is complicated. It’s always been complicated. Some days, I don’t deal well with it; you saw that first-hand.”

I glanced at her to gauge her expression. She stared down at the fountain, and I could see the wheels turning in her head. I knew she wanted to say something, so I just waited patiently and looked her over. The skirt she’d worn had ridden up her legs when we’d sat on the step, putting them on full display. Visions of those beautiful legs wrapped around me entered my mind, and I wanted them there again.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eyes and looked up to see Emma staring at me.

“Are you a cutter?” she blurted then sighed. “I mean, you know, I saw the scars and…”

“No,” I said sternly. I knew I should pull back the anger I felt brewing inside. The shame I’d felt with Luke a week before was rearing its head. That sensation was why I’d kept things to myself for so long. It made me feel weak. It wasn’t an emotion I dealt with lightly.

“But the scars—” she started.

“Are none of your business,” I finished for her sternly.

I knew I’d just fucked up by the shocked expression on her face, and I let out a sigh of defeat. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. This could never work. This was why I had rules. It was easier that way. Feelings just fucked everything up.

She stood abruptly, and I watched her as she smoothed out her skirt.

“Well, it was good seeing you,” she said quickly before walking down the steps.

I jumped up and followed behind her.

“Emma, don’t go.”

She ignored me and it pissed me off. I wasn’t going to let her leave without listening to me first.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her with me, ignoring her protests along the way.

Walking under the Bethesda arches, I pushed her against one of the columns, away from prying eyes, and brought my lips down to hers.

There was only one way I knew how to communicate, and this was it.

She opened up for me, and I lifted my hands to hold her face. It was a hard and rough kiss—biting, sucking, and nibbling—from all the pent-up sexual tension.

When I finally pulled away from her, we were both panting for air. I let go of her face, running a hand through my hair. If we weren’t out in public, I would have taken advantage of the situation. When she was in my hands, she turned to putty. Her feelings were like an open book for me. I knew she wanted this just as much as I did, but she was being cautious. Which I didn’t blame her for.

“Listen,” I stated, shoving my hands back into my pockets. “There are things about me that I’m not willing to talk about. My life isn’t roses and fairytales. It’s a big, fucked-up mess. I told you, I live my life a certain way. The question is can you handle it? I’m your professor, but I honestly don’t give a fuck. I know you’re worried about your career, but that’s a risk you have to figure out if you’re willing to take. In a few months, it won’t matter anymore.”

She stood there, pressed against the column, looking over my face. I didn’t know what her response was going to be. I expected her to walk away, tell me to fuck off, because who would agree to
want
to be with me?

I was too fucked-up. I had too many secrets and demons that hid in the dark recesses of my mind. It was everything that made me who I was. And yet, there I was, trying to change it. Did I think it would be that easy? No. But I also knew I didn’t want to let her go. She was my redemption, the light at the end of the tunnel, and I craved it. I wanted that itch inside to go away, the feelings of loneliness to subside.

Pushing away from the column, she took the few steps to reach me and placed her hands on my chest.

“I can respect your privacy, but don’t play games with me.” She turned away from my gaze and stared at my chest. “This whole thing between us,” she said, gesturing with one of her hands. “It scares me. So many things could happen. I can’t lose my scholarship.” She looked up to meet my eyes once again, and I could see the vulnerability written all over her face. “We could just be friends?”

I lifted my arms and rested my hands on her shoulders before leaning down to give her a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I think we’re way past friends, princess,” I mumbled against her skin.

I pulled away from her, knowing it was time for me to leave. I’d done what I’d set out to do. I apologized for my actions and made it very clear that I wanted her. It was all I could do. The ball was in her court, and it was probably one of the hardest things I’d ever done. She had total control of the situation. The ‘take what I want’ kind of man had to be pushed aside; she wasn’t that type of girl.

“I’ll see you on Wednesday, Emma,” I said to her with a small smile, then turned away to head to my car.

I had to get away before I talked her into coming to my apartment, only a few blocks away. I needed the release. The anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach had been trying to take over for days, but I held it in. I’d hit my bag or run a few miles, letting all the tension out. I’d have to, because it was the only thing I was allowing myself to do. Cutting was no longer an option—at least, that’s what I told myself.