Promised (12 page)

“What do I do?”

“I think the right question would be, is Linc worth you leaving your whole family behind? You have to choose, Wyn. And I know you gave him an answer in that library, but you need to take your time and really think about what
you
want before you give your real answer.” She sits back down beside me and takes my hand in hers. “I don’t want to lose you, but I also don’t want you to be unhappy the rest of your life. Take some time. Spend some time with Shay. Maybe you’ll find out that you care for him too. If not, I think you’ll have your real answer.”

“If I can’t care for him, what will I do? Where will I go?” I ask, scared of what my future might hold if I choose to turn from my family.

“You’re the smartest person I know. So I have faith that if that’s the route you choose to take, you’ll figure something out.” She gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and then releases it.

The trailer door opens right then, causing me to jump because I’ve been so caught up in our conversation that I didn’t hear a vehicle pull up. Adam and Shay walk in, taking in Dani’s and my faces, then the cupcakes on the counters. “What’s wrong?” Adam asks, looking back at us.

Darn it!

If there was ever a time I wished Adam didn’t know me so well, now would be it. I look at Shay as I answer. “I had a bad day at school. Failed a test, so Dani’s trying to cheer me up.” The boys stare at me for five full heart beats. They know I’m lying. I’ve never failed a test, but thankfully, Adam doesn’t push me for the truth. And by Shay’s face, I think he has an idea of what’s really wrong.

“So…are you guys ready for our double date?” Dani asks as she changes the subject.

“I think the better question would be, are you two ready?” Adam asks, helping Dani to her feet so he can give her a kiss.

“Yeah, I only need to slip on some shoes. Then we can go.” She returns his kiss and moves to pick out a pair of high heeled boots. She may be pregnant, but she refuses to sacrifice her fashion sense. Swollen feet, be damned.

Standing up and grabbing my coat and purse. “I’m going to wait outside. Shay, you want to join me?”

He nods his head and follows me out the door.

I set my purse on the hood of his truck as I button up my coat. I know he’s standing behind me, waiting for the truth about what happened today. As much as I hate it, Dani’s right. I need to give Shay a chance if I’m going to make the right choice, so I need to be honest with him. Well, mostly honest with him. He doesn’t need to know everything that’s been going on with Linc and me. And he definitely isn’t getting Linc’s name from me.

“What happened?” He asks my back. He’s so close that I can feel the heat coming off his body.

“I ended it with him.”

Shay circles his arms around my middle, pulling my back against his chest and putting his face close to my ear. “You made the right choice.” I’m not going to correct him and tell him the choice hasn’t been made yet.

Instead, I turn in his arms so I’m facing him. “I want to take things slow. Can you give me that?”

“How slow?” He asks suspiciously. I can’t blame him. He did catch me with another guy when I’m wearing his ring.

“Not the wedding plans. I mean us. We need to get to know each other.”

“We’ve known each other since we were kids.” He chuckles.

“I know, but we don’t know each other as a couple. That’s what I want to take slow.” I explain.

“Do you think I’d force myself on you? Is that what this is about?” He asks, truly surprised.

“Well, you did exactly that yesterday.” I remind him, attempting to push out of his arms.

My attempts fail because he pulls me into a hug, laying his head on the top of mine. “I’m sorry about yesterday. You know I don’t normally act like that, but finding you how I did, pushed me over an edge.”

“And I’m sorry about that, but you can’t do that again if this is going to work. I need time to get use to us.” I whisper against his chest. I don’t hate Shay, but having his arms around me doesn’t feel right. He’s not Linc, but I’m determined to give Shay a chance.

“Then I’ll give you time, but it’s not going to be time alone.” Shay says, then kisses the top of my head before releasing me.

I hear my cell phone go off, letting me know I have a new text message. The ring tone lets me know it’s from Linc. I decide for tonight, I need to ignore it. I need to talk to him, but I can’t do that and give Shay my full attention. And tonight, I’ve promised myself to make Shay first.

Chapter 17 – Linc

~Make This One Count~

“There’s a party tonight.” Nate is sitting beside me on the living room couch. I’m staring at the TV, but I don’t know what’s on. I can’t wrap my head around anything, even if it’s only a mindless reality show. It’s been two weeks
and one day since the blow-up in the library. Two weeks and one day since I’ve had alone time with Wyn. The suspension was over a week ago yesterday, and the grounding my mom handed down is finished today, but I don’t care. I’m still numb to everything, well everything except Wyn. The memory of her still sends pain and pleasure shooting through my soul. It might always be like this (very likely), or I might be over it next week (highly doubtful). I don’t know, but it’s gotten worse.

The day after the fight, she finally texted me back letting me know she needed a break, time to find out what she really wanted. I want her to choose me, but I don’t want her to doubt that five, ten, twenty years from now. So I’ve agreed to give her the time she needs, but it’s killing me because I know it’s time I’m giving her with
him
.

Fuck! I don’t know the guy, but I hate him all the same.

“Earth to Linc. Do you want to go or not?” Nate asks, calling me out of my thoughts.

“No.” I don’t look at him as I answer.

“Damn, Cuz, you need to get out of this house.” He grumbles, leaning forward to pick up the remote and shutting off the TV.

“I was watching that.”

“The fuck you were. You have as much interest in some bored housewives as I do in Math class. And you know I fucking hate that shit.”

“What do you want, Nate?” I ask, standing up and walking towards the kitchen to grab a soda.

“For you to get the fuck over this girl and stop moping around like a little pussy.” He rumbles as he follows me.

I stop in my tracks and turn slowly to glare at him.

“I see that’s going to be a long term goal. So tonight, I’ll settle for you coming to the party with me.” He moves around me and takes a seat at the kitchen table, completely ignoring my death glare.

I continue to the fridge, grab a can and pop the top, taking a large gulp before I set it down on the island. “Not happening.”

“It’s been two weeks. It’s time to get out of this house and show that girl you’re moving on too. We all know she is. We see that guy in the silver Dodge who picks her up every day.” Yeah, I’d seen that too, but I’m giving her space. Maybe I should take this time and space and check out my options too.

“Fine, I’ll go.”

“Oh, hell yeah!” Nate says as he jumps up. “Those chicks are going to be dropping their panties at the sight of both of us being there. You’re guaranteed to get fucked tonight.”

Shaking my head, I ask. “Why do I hang out with you?”

“Because you know there isn’t anyone as cool as me in this town.” He says, coming over to me and throwing his arm around my shoulder.

“Replace cool with stupid and that might be an accurate statement.” I elbow him in the side to get him to remove his arm.

“You know you love me.” He says, rubbing his side where my elbow connected.

“Only because Mom makes me and I kind of feel bad that no girl ever will.” I tease.

“I’ve had plenty of girls
love
me.” He grins, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Lust and love are two different things, Cuz. And I pray that someday, you’re lucky enough to know the difference between the two.” I bring my can of soda back up to my lips, preparing to take another gulp, but pull it back and add. “I also pray that you’re not riddled with STD’s when that day comes around.”

“I only go the distance with the classy chicks.” Nate throws out in his defense.

I give up on taking another drink and set my can back on the island as I turn to my cousin to explain something to him. “Nate, if they were classy chicks, their asses wouldn’t be hanging out of their short ass skirts and you definitely wouldn’t be getting lucky at some trashy ass party in some stranger’s bedroom.”

“You say trashy, I say classy. We’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. You know not everyone can score with a sweet piece like Arwyn Scott.”

I slam him up against the fridge, my arm at his throat. “Don’t ever talk about her that way.”

“Fuck, back up.” He says, trying to push me back.

“Nate.” I warn on a growl.

“Fine. She’s off limits.” He agrees so I back up, releasing my hold on him. His hands shoot to his neck and rub at his throat.

I pick up my pop and throw the almost full can in the trash and say. “I need something stronger.”

“Then let’s go do this damn thing.” Nate smiles, already forgetting about the scene moments before.

**********************************

I take another swig from the bottle of Jack I’ve been drinking by myself since we arrived at this party. I thought it would only take a couple drinks to get her out of my head for the night, but this bottle is almost empty and she’s still there. It’s like she’s been burned permanently on my brain so I’ll never be able to forget her. Maybe a second bottle of Jack will help. I take a gulp, downing the remainder of the bottle in my hand and then throw it toward the trash can in the corner of the kitchen. It misses and smashes against the wall.

I stand up and grab another bottle off the counter where all the alcohol is set out.

“Cuz, maybe you should slow down.” Nate’s leaning against the island with his arm around some red head. She looks vaguely familiar. I think she’s one of the cheerleaders for the football team. But seeing as I’ve paid little attention to any of the girls at our school other than Wyn, I can’t be sure.

I twist the cap off the new bottle and fling it towards the shattered remains of the first bottle. “Maybe you should worry about your fucking self.” I tell him and then take a swig.

“At least give me your keys. I don’t want to worry about you trying to drive like this.” Nate holds his hand out, expecting me to give my keys over without a fight. He should know me better than that.

“So you can use my car as your love shack for the night.” I eye the red head, her face flushes at my words and she turns her face into Nate’s shoulder to hide her embarrassment. “Fuck that!”

“Dammit, Linc! You’re leaving me little choice here.” Nate warns.

“What the hell is that suppose to mean?” I ask, leaning my back against the counter opposite of the island and taking another drink.

“You’ll see.” He says, pulling out his cell phone and sending a text.

“Well, aren’t you the cryptic one. Who’d you text? My mom?” I ask, once he puts the cell back in his pocket.

“Nope. I hate to do this to you, Cuz, but I can’t take the chance you’ll do something stupid in your current state.” Nate says, shaking his head at me and putting his arm back around the red head.

“Like what? Fucking some girl I don’t care for at some party, knowing I’ll ignore her at school on Monday.” I say, moving my eyes to the red head. I should feel bad for bringing her in to this, and maybe tomorrow I will, but tonight, I don’t care about hurting this random girl. I guess I could be taking out my pain on the first girl I saw since I can’t take it out on Wyn, not that I’d do that anyway. Even in my drunken state, I don’t want to hurt her; I just want her.

Fuck!

I take another swig. Nate pulls the bottle from my hand and sets it on the island behind him. “Pull it together. Damn, I should’ve let you stay home.”

“I’m guessing I won’t be invited to the next party.” I say, moving around him to grab the bottle of Jack. “I better make this one count.” I take another big gulp, and then I smile at Nate and wink at the redhead before I walk out of the kitchen and into the back yard. The guy throwing the party lives in the more expensive part of town in a huge house that’s perfect for these kinds of parties. The back yard isn’t really a back yard, but a pool area complete with a hot tub and swim up bar.

The area is empty except for me; no one else wants to battle the cold of a January night to hang out by the pool. Lucky for me, the liquor I already have in my system has warmed me enough that I’m barely feeling the biting cold. I take a seat on one of the lounge chairs and lay back to admire the stars and enjoy my new bottle of Jack. I don’t know how long I’ve been lying here enjoying the stars. But when I hear the back door open, I hold up my bottle and see I’ve already made it half way through my new bottle. Figuring it’s Nate, I say. “I’m not giving you the bottle. So save your breath.”

“You can keep the bottle if I can have your keys.” The soft voice that replies is the last one I thought I’d hear tonight and it causes me to turn my head in her direction to see if she’s really there or if I’ve moved on to the hallucinating point of the night.