Protection (7 page)

Lisa awoke with a start, hot, flustered, and with her nightgown tangled around her
legs. Quickly setting things to rights, she did her best to ignore the ache that pulsed
between her thighs. If only the dream had lasted a little
longer—well, the part
before
Nathaniel had stopped.

She’d been so close to finding release, not that she was sure how she felt about accomplishing
it in such a manner or with him portrayed so uncharacteristically. He would never
do what he had done in the dream, taking her almost roughly while saying such horrid
things.

Hugging her knees, Lisa assured herself she wouldn’t want him to either. After all,
what would that say about her? She couldn’t deny she enjoyed his lovemaking, and there
was something very arousing about his commanding presence, but that didn’t make her
wanton. Did it?

Groaning, she fell back on the pillow and considered the varied meanings of the word.

Shameless.

She had certainly behaved that way in the dream and in reality on occasion
.
She supposed she should
feel guilty about that, but the memories of her time with Nathaniel were too precious
to sully with regret.

Immoral.

That was difficult to argue against. After rejecting Nathaniel’s offers to find her
a safe, respectable place of employment, she had surrendered willingly to his seduction.
But they were
to be married, if she had a say in the matter, a more than suitable method by which
to rectify the situation. Of course, it would help if she remembered not to suggest
they engage in improper behaviour before they were wed.

Lustful.

She could hardly dispute that description of her actions, but in light of Nathaniel’s
general aura of masculinity, who could possibly blame her?

Did Nathaniel?

He had apologised for the way he treated her when she was his mistress, assuring her
he would never expect a wife to behave in such a manner. But she’d enjoyed the things
they had done. She just needed to assure him of that fact, and he would realise there
wasn’t a problem—unless he really did believe her wanton. He’d told her often enough
that he didn’t want to marry her, that her behaviour was more fitting for a mistress
than a wife. She didn’t doubt that he loved her; it was his expectations she was unsure
of.

Curling on her side, Lisa recalled the other aspects of her dream before they flitted
away. Nathaniel seemed confident she would do well in the role of his marchioness,
but it was obvious that, deep down, she feared disappointing him.

A whimper escaped her lips, and Ruth, her close friend and lady’s maid, entered the
room.

“Are ye awake, Lady Anneliese, or would ye like to sleep a little longer?”

“I’ll rise now, thank you.”

With no hope of falling back to sleep, Lisa decided to join the gentlemen for an early
breakfast. With Ruth’s assistance, she was soon attired in one of the lovely summer
gowns she had brought with her from Worthington. The reflection of the coolly poised
young lady looking back at her from the full length mirror boosted her confidence . . .
a little.

Standing in the doorway to the breakfast room, Lisa waited for Nathaniel to notice
her. A shiver coursed through her when he crossed to her side, his determined stride
reminding her of the forceful stance her dream Nathaniel had taken. The reality was
every bit as handsome and shared the same commanding presence as the lover her fraught
imagination had conjured. But his expression was warm, the tone of his greeting gentle
if equally arousing in timbre.

“Lisa, what a lovely surprise.” He bowed over her hand but was careful not to allow
his lips to touch the back of her fingers.

After curtsying, she stared up at him, momentarily lost for words as his nearness
rekindled the desire simmering just beneath the surface of her skin. A quirk of his
brow triggered her breathy response.

“Good morning, Nathaniel. It’s a pleasure to see you also.”

His smile faded, his blue eyes darkening to a deep sapphire—another reminder of their
dream encounter. Taking a step closer, his nostrils flared, and Lisa whimpered at
the erotic images bombarding her thoughts.

“Sweetheart?” He cocked his head, and she swayed towards him.

“Anneliese, how lovely to see you up and about so early.”

Thomas’s cheery greeting broke through the sensual haze clouding Lisa’s mind, jolting
her back to her senses and location.

“I blame the habits acquired whilst working in your household for being awake at this
unfashionable hour of the day,” she said in a teasing fashion, hoping to distract
him from her breathless response to his son’s perfectly acceptable greeting.

Lisa’s father joined them, having reestablished his habit of rising early despite
the serious injuries he’d received when he had been shot by Lord Copeland. She worried
about him, that the journey and the previous days revelations had been too much, but
he looked better for a night’s rest.

“How are you, my dear? Did you sleep well?” he asked, and Lisa’s eyes widened.

After a moments pause, she managed a stuttering reply. “Yes. Yes, of course.”

They took their seats at the table where a sumptuous breakfast had been served. Lisa
wasn’t hungry, but she filled her plate. The dream had left her feeling unsettled,
but attempting to explain the reason for her loss of appetite wasn’t
an option, not with her father and Thomas present. If she’d still been his mistress—and
they had their privacy—Lisa wouldn’t have hesitated to talk to Nathaniel about her
concerns. But things were different now that they were betrothed. Very different.

Once the older gentlemen were settled with an assortment of daily papers, Nathaniel
turned to her father.

“Sir George, I was wondering if Lisa and I might take a stroll through the grounds?
It’s a pleasant morning, and the gardeners are attending to the flower beds.” He gestured
through the floor-length French windows that ran along the southern wall of the breakfast
room, subtly alluding to the presence of a multitude of chaperones—of sorts.

“My appointment with Aunt Margaret’s couturier is not until eleven o’clock,” Lisa
added.

“That’s an excellent idea.” Her father nodded after a barely perceptible pause. “I’m
assuming you’ll leave an exploration of the maze until you can share the experience
with a larger number?”

Embarrassed by her father’s inference Nathaniel and she would behave inappropriately
if given the slightest chance, Lisa ducked her head. Although, truth be told, she
would have done just that the night before if he’d been willing.

“You have my word, Sir George.” Nathaniel’s tone was suitably sober, though the hint
of a smile twitched his cheek.

Once out in the garden, Lisa breathed in the floral scents and then exhaled with relief.
Considering the way her days were being filled, she had a feeling her chances to converse
alone with Nathaniel would be few and far between. This opportunity was a gift, one
she would savour. Nathaniel walked quickly along the well-swept paths of Stanton House,
and it was soon apparent he had a destination in mind—a garden bench shaded by a climbing
rose bush.

“What an idyllic setting.” Lisa tried not to think of other garden benches they’d
sat upon, invariably with her on his lap.

“Do you think it’s acceptable?” He looked back towards the mansion. “We’re a little
hidden from sight but not overly so.”

“It’s fine.” She smiled. “Papa can seem severe, but I’m sure he doesn’t mind us spending
time together with people around and in clear view.”

“Good.” Sitting close enough for their knees to brush, Nathaniel clasped her hands
in his.

“Now tell me what was bothering you this morning when I first greeted you. I was worried
you were going to faint. Are you absolutely certain you’re not with child?”

Lisa’s brows shot up.

“As sure as I can be. You were careful, and my, er, natural bodily functions have
continued uninterrupted.”

Nathaniel’s chest expanded as he drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry to have to ask.
It shouldn’t have been an issue until after
we were married, in which case you being with child would have been cause for rejoicing.
Not that I wouldn’t appreciate some time alone together before we start a family of
our own.”

Summoning her courage, she met his gaze head on. “I don’t mind.”

“You don’t mind my asking, or you don’t mind if we wait a while to have a child after
we’re wed?”

“I don’t mind you asking. I don’t mind waiting to have a child.” Heat flushed her
cheeks as she considered the various methods they could utilise to ensure such a delay.
“And I don’t mind that there’s a
need
for you to ask before the wedding.” Nathaniel sat back, and she rushed to clarify.
“If we’d met and become betrothed under normal circumstances, our relationship would
have progressed in a very different fashion to the way it did.”

“And you have a problem with that?”

“No, it’s just . . .” Lisa studied their joined hands before looking up. “Once we
were wed, I would have thought it necessary to pretend
not
to enjoy your attentions.”

“And you think I would have continued on with my original plan to keep my wife at
a dispassionate distance while enjoying a rewarding relationship with my mistress?”

She nodded, her muscles tense.

“Lisa . . .” Nathaniel slowly shook his head. “You completely underestimate the strength
of your allure.”

“I do?”

“You most definitely do, and you have nothing
to fear. I have promised to honour my wedding vows. You have my word
on it
.
”

“That’s good to hear.” Lisa forced a smile, frustrated that he’d missed the point
she’d tried to make. While she appreciated he would be a faithful husband, she was
no closer to knowing if he would approve of her being a demonstrably passionate wife.

“Now tell me what was bothering you this morning. Are you feeling unwell?” he prompted
when she said no more.

“No, I had a dream last night . . . an unsettling
dream,” she admitted, eyeing him cautiously.

“Unsettling? In what way?”

Lisa looked down at their hands again, wondering how much she dare disclose. “It revealed
what I already know, I suppose. That I am concerned about my suitability to be your
marchioness.”

“Ah, sweetheart.” Nathaniel ducked his head, so she couldn’t avoid his gaze. “There’s
no need to worry. I have complete confidence in your abilities.”

“Thank you,” she murmured, wishing she could be as certain.

“Was that all that was bothering you?”

Reluctant to repeat the more salacious aspects of her dream, she hesitated. Part of
Nathaniel’s apology had included his horror at having “taken a lady” on his desk in
broad daylight. It wasn’t difficult to imagine his reaction if she admitted dreaming
about him making love to her from behind while she was bent over that very same desk.

“No, that was all.”

“Are you sure? You’ve nothing to worry about, Lisa
.
I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

She managed a wan smile, but decided not to tell him about seeing Lord Copeland in
her dream. The man was no longer a threat, and she didn’t want Nathaniel to think
her foolish.

“Did you dream of me at all?” he asked, and she blinked.

“Maybe.”

“Was it
pleasant
?”

There was no mistaking the hunger in his eyes, and while Lisa’s breath quickened,
she wasn’t sure how to respond. He’d looked at her with desire the night before and
then been shocked by her offer to meet him.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said, his eyes darkening while his thumbs traced circles
on the back of her gloveless hands
.
“Would you care to share the details?”

A whimper escaped her lips, but she held firm.

“Not even a hint?” He cocked his head in that adorable way of his. “Please?”

“Oh, if you insist.” Her shoulders slumped. “We were in your office at Worthington,
and I was dressed as a maid.”

“And?”

“And I really don’t think I should say any more.” Lisa’s face flamed, and she rued
her tendency to blush. Nathaniel didn’t seem to mind, raising a hand to softly caress
her cheek.

“But you must tell me now. I’m agog.”

“Maybe later . . . after we’re wed,” she whispered.

“Why not before?” He brushed his thumb across her lower lip, and her resolve crumbled.

“Because we lay together. Well, we weren’t actually
laying,
as we were on your desk, or rather I was. Like that other time . . . but different.
It was very pleasant, but also rather shocking, and I’m not sure you’d approve of
what we did.” His mouth dropped open, and she quickly added, “It was only a dream,
so not real, of course.”

“Of course.” Scowling, Nathaniel sat back and glanced towards the house. To her disappointment,
he made no further comment, releasing her hands to fist his own upon his thighs.