Proximity (5 page)

She strode after him and caught him as he was stepping out the front door. "What the hell was that?"

He looked at her, his slow grin adding fuel to the fire burning in her gut. "If I need to tell you, then I guess I didn't do it right."

"Bill, I swear to God you've lost all sense," she whispered.

"Maybe it's the opposite."

She frowned. "I don't know what that means."

"There's the problem. Right there." He grabbed her by the shoulders, kicked the door closed and ground his mouth against hers again. Reckless desire communicated itself through the ferocity of his kiss.

She pressed against him, overcome with need and confusion. She matched his passion with her own, no longer thinking about what was right or wrong. Every inch of her skin quivered with awareness.

They fell against the wall, tripped over a low table, and collapsed against the floor in a tangle of limbs. Body heat ignited from the inside out, making the short dress she wore feel constricting even as it rode up her thighs. She writhed against him, peeled his shirt up his back and sunk her fingernails into his skin.

He moved his mouth from hers and trailed kisses down her neck. The weight of him pressing her against the wooden floor combined with the heat of their bodies and the feel of his mouth on her skin while surrounded by wild sounds of the jungle overloaded her senses.

"Savannah, I've wanted this for so long," he muttered against her shoulder.

His voice snapped her back to reality. She dropped her head back against the wood and closed her eyes. The pleasure of the moment conflicting with common sense.

"We can't do this," she said with a catch in her voice. "You're
Bill
."

"Glad you know who I am." He rose up on the palm of his hands and stared into her eyes. "Why not? You're the only woman I've ever thought of as a soul mate—look at how we are together. Friends, confidantes...why not lovers? Why not have it all?"

"Stop it.
Soul mate?
Where is this coming from?" She wiggled from beneath him and straightened her dress. Breaths came like tortured streaks of air ripping through up her throat. "This is because of your fight with Lexi, isn't it? She said something about me, about us, and it has you all stirred up. I am not going to risk our friendship for a good fuck."

"You want me as badly as I want you." He jumped to his feet.

She couldn't look at him with his hair a mess from her hands, handsome face dark with desire, and shirt half-up his hard chest without thinking of how good it had felt to have his body on top of hers. Her mind raced for an excuse that wouldn't damage their relationship.

She needed his friendship more than she needed a lover.

"You're
Bill.
"

"We've got that covered! Why the hell do you keep saying that? What does my name signify to you? Is it that I'm your lap dog and nothing more? Have I been segregated into some weird place in your life where I am permanently in the friend-zone?"

Words failed her. She faced him and shrugged. The hurt in his eyes stabbed her in her heart.

"Bill, wait," she said when he opened the door again. She grabbed his arm, not knowing what to say but terrified that a crack had formed in their relationship that would never heal. "I need to understand."

"If I need to spell it out to you at this point, then maybe I've been wrong about us for a very long time." He met her gaze. "That's why I need to go. You confuse me. I want a life with a wife and kids and big family barbecues and all of that and I'm starting to think this...friendship we have...is standing in the way of the rest of my life. It's you, always you in my head when I'm with anyone else."

"You're my best friend," she whispered, fear making her voice quake. "That's always been enough."

"That's what I thought, too."

"Then what changed? We're Savannah and Bill, we have fun, we're each other's go-to person...Why complicate it? Why can't you have a wife and kids and everything you want with me as your best friend?"

"Is that what you want? Really?" He leaned close enough where the gold flecks in his hazel eyes were only an eyelash away. "Do you want to watch me marry someone else one day? Because I can honestly stand here and say that the idea of you being some other man's bride tears my heart out."

She cringed at the idea of being anyone's bride. "Why are you doing this? Now? Here? Before a dangerous dive?"

"It came up, that's all."

"Like hell it did. You're my partner and now you threw this—"

"Let it go, Savannah. Pretend I never came to your room." He twisted free of her grip and walked onto the suspended bridge.

Talk about a serious mind fuck.

Deciding to let him have his nervous breakdown on his own, she slammed the door closed and stomped toward the bed. Her dive buddies were her safe haven from the nutty men in the world—or at least they had been before Bill decided to go bonkers. She fell back onto the bed and blinked at the thatched ceiling. Absently, she touched her lips that still throbbed from his kiss.

Okay, so maybe she'd fantasized about him now and then. Perhaps she'd been guilty of comparing other men to Bill and finding them lacking. But crossing that line had never been an option for her. Couldn't be.

Mae West had once said that a man's kiss was his signature.

Savannah grinned against her fingertips. Now she knew what Ms. West had meant by that and had to agree. Damn, no man's kiss had ever curled her toes and boiled her blood like that.

Too bad it could never happen again.

Chapter Three

The jeep ride to the first sinkhole left a lot to be desired in terms of comfort. His ass hurt from being thrust into the air and back down onto a worn seat that had seen far better days. He held onto the roll bar and inhaled the rich scent of the jungle after another night of rain. Everything here seemed more vivid and alive. Birds chirped in a mad song at each other while the density of green around them moved with unseen creatures that he knew watched their passing. But the smell that filled his lungs is what breathed new life into him this early morning—the smell of absolute freedom and purity. Nature at its most wild.

"You look more like yourself and you haven't given us any lectures yet, thank God." Derek slapped him on the back when the jeep finally came to a stop. "You good to go?"

"Always." He leapt from the jeep and glanced to where Savannah chatted away to Matthew. "Looks like she's made a new friend."

"Yeah, he's pretty hot for her, I think. But what man isn't, right? Everywhere we go she leaves a broken heart in her wake. Gotta love that about her," Stewart observed from where he tossed their gear onto the ground. "She told me earlier that you and I were partnering up this trip, is that true? I can't believe she'd switch—"

"My idea, actually." He smiled at his friend while trying to bite back the bitterness that she was once again choosing someone else over him.

I never should have kissed her.

"What's really going on with you, Bill? We're not all fun and games, you know. You can talk to us. Are you sure you're up for a dive today?"

He shoved a restless hand through his hair and coached himself to get a grip. "It's been awhile since we've partnered together. I felt like a change, that's all. You okay with it?"

Stewart blinked a minute before nodding toward Paul. "We were talking last night. This trip seems off. I'm not sure we should be changing up the routine. Between you acting like you've been possessed and all the delays we had getting here, there's a feeling of doom in the air. Don't you feel it?"

"Stewart and Paul want a couple's massage back at the resort instead of the dive!" Derek shouted to the others who were donning wetsuits near the first jeep. "They're getting the heebie jeebies."

Jon laughed and tossed a tank into Paul's arms. "You can be our retrieval team then. Make sure you have snacks ready."

"I'm not kidding," Stewart muttered under his breath before turning around to pull his gear toward Savannah. "You can have your partner, I don't want him."

She said something he couldn't hear, but assumed it wasn't flattering when the other men laughed in response. After zipping up her wetsuit and checking her BCU, she walked toward him. She'd braided her long black hair like she usually did for a dive. Today, however, he noticed the accentuated cheekbones and large eyes more than he ever had before. Now that he'd gotten a taste of her, it would be hard to resist wanting more.

Did I actually use the word soul mate? That's not like me at all, no wonder she hasn't said word one to me all morning
, he chastised himself.

But, damn, she'd tasted better than he'd imagined and he wanted more. He frowned in her direction before busying himself with his gear.

Now that I've started this, I'm going to finish it. I need to know if there's a chance to break out of the buddy zone.

"Seems I'm the only one who can put up with you," she said with raised eyebrow that he interpreted as a challenge. "Did you take your meds? Are you normal Bill today or your evil twin?"

"Funny." He focused on checking his air tank. "I'm not apologizing for last night."

"I didn't ask you to apologize." Hands on her hips, she looked him up and down. "Tonight, though, we're going to talk about it."

"No, we're not." He smiled and indulged in looking at the way she filled out the wetsuit. He'd seen her dressed exactly like this too many times to count, but he wanted her to be aware of his stare on her breasts so maybe she'd stop being so damn stupid and get the hint. If his kiss hadn't communicated the message, maybe a leer would.

"You're confusing the hell out of me and I don't like it," she said quietly enough not to be overheard. "You're Bill.
My Bill.
You don't act like a horny teenager with a crush."

"More like an obsession." He locked his gaze on hers. "Maybe that should scare you."

"You want to play, huh?" She tilted her chin a bit higher, always one to take on a dare rather than back down. "I'll call your bluff, honey baby."

God, he hated when she did that sexy drawn out drawl with her voice. He knew she did it to torment him and it worked every damn time.

"Oh, will you now? I don't think you've got it in you. Swim with sharks? Sure, you'll do that. Tangle with me beyond the friend zone? Never." He stepped closer, grabbed her shoulders and turned her around while leaning close to her ear without the others seeing. "How far are you willing to go before you fold and beg for mercy?"

She looked at him over her shoulder, her lips a fraction from his and eyes narrowed into slits. "I never beg. I'm not sure what exactly is wrong with you, but I'm going to play this out all the way until you tell me what the hell is going on inside that thick skull of yours."

"All the way?" He smiled at the blush on her cheeks. When she'd kissed him back last night, it had taken every ounce of self-control to leave.

"You know I always win a game of chicken." She stepped out of reach and motioned for him to slip into his gear before sliding her gaze over his body in the same way he'd done to her. "Remember when we stole those scooters in Barbados—"

"Borrowed. We returned them in the morning."

"Whatever." She shrugged. "We played chicken with those guys from Brazil."

He laughed at the memory of the Brazilians hitting the ditch while Savannah had whooped in victory down the dirt road as dawn crept over the horizon.

"This isn't the same thing," he said.

"Isn't it? You don't want to lose me as a friend either, but you're all hot and bothered after your breakup with the uptight Lexi and I'm your safe place to fall. So you're pushing the limits, but we know you won't cross the line when it comes right down to it." She slipped her hand over the curve his ass. "You're out of your league, honey baby."

He jumped from the shock of her grabbing his butt and laughed at her audacity. When he looked at her face, he saw the familiar gleam in her eyes and knew he was most definitely out of his league. He'd always known that, though, which is why he'd been content to play the role of dutiful puppy for far too long.

"This isn't a game, Savannah. We need to focus on the dive."

"I swear I have bigger balls than all of you men combined." She winked and closed the gap between them. "If I win, you stay in Dallas."

"What are the rules of this game?"

"Don't you know? You're the one who started it last night."

"Is Matthew also playing?"

"Nope. Just you and me."

"How will we know who wins or loses?" Suddenly serious, he stared into her eyes and wished he could see the plot unfolding in her mind. "If you prove to me that you're not into me...is that your idea of me winning or you? It sounds an awful lot like rejection to me. Not very fun."

"What's your idea of winning?"

"Let's not do this right now." He tested the batteries on both his headlamp and the flashlight hooked to his BCU. Maybe Stewart had been right in saying this trip felt cursed.

"What do you want if you win?" she asked rather than taking the hint to shut-up.

"For you to let me go." He met her gaze without smiling. "You see, I think you're scared of anything deeper than a fling a thousand miles from home. I am betting that you will be the one who calls chicken first and hits the ditch in a blaze of glory. Who knows you better than I do, Savannah? No one. If I'm right, then you need to let me go."

Her smile faded, the light of challenge dimming with his words. "High stakes. Game on."

"We both know who the chicken is in this type of game, Savannah." He grinned, aware of her love of winning and taking a chance that his idea would work to his advantage.

"You're
Bill,
" she said with confusion creasing her brow and darkening her eyes.

"I know who I am." His lips twitched with a restrained laugh. "I'm really starting to hate the sound of my own name."

"What changed between Dallas and here?" She rubbed the back of her neck and glanced toward the others who called to them to hurry up.

"Nothing on my end. I needed to know..."

"Know what?"

"I had to take a chance." He shrugged, not knowing what else to say and anticipation of their pending adventure zapping through his veins. "Are you bolting already? All talk and no follow through? Are you hitting the ditch so soon?"

She clenched her jaw and looked him in the eye. "High stakes, Billy Boy."

"I'm aware." He nodded without breaking eye contact. "Won't be the first time I've risked it all on a long shot."

She walked toward where Mathew talked with several others who would remain on the surface as their safety crew. Later, this group of men would meet them at the other sink hole to pull them to the surface and take them back to the resort to prepare for day two.

All serious, the team of seven divers stood over the hole that wasn't more than six by six. They each double-checked their partner's tanks before donning their swim fins and waiting as the land crew dropped the rope into the cenote.

Adrenaline zapped through him at the sight of the darkness while he adjusted his headlamp and nodded when Savannah looked over her shoulder.

"You ready for this?" she asked with a crooked grin.

"Hell, ya." He winked before waving at Derek who was first down the rope. "See ya down there!"

"There's no way you're gonna leave the group, no matter what bullshit you tell yourself. You love this too much," she said before stepping away for her turn down the hole.

He glanced at the surrounding jungle before catching Stewart's eye. "It's a good day for a dive."

Stewart nodded without smiling.

He turned his back and listened to Matthew's instructions about the beginning of their adventure. He looked up at the blue sky above the green tree canopy before sitting on the edge of the hole and grabbing the rope.  He hoped to hell that the trip wasn't cursed like the other man had insinuated. He had a game to win...or maybe lose on purpose depending on the rules...and he didn't want it all ruined by Stewart the Voice of Doom.

All negative thoughts disappeared as he lowered into the cave and became captivated by the sights of this underground world. Sunlight from above illuminated a giant cave with white stalactites hanging from the ceiling like ragged and twisted teeth. Vines covered with neon pink flowers poured through the hole. Tree roots had wound their way toward the water far below like long green crayons stripped of their paper to dip into dark blue ink.

Laughter from Derek, Jon, and Savannah echoed through the cavern. He grinned as the rope lowered him toward where they treaded water and shined their lights at the beauty encompassing them like a glistening tomb.

He released his hold and dropped free fall style. Everything around him was so pure, he felt honored to be submerged in the cavern. Although encompassed in darkness, the lights from his crew members' flashlights showed crystal clear water and slick cave walls with submerged dark tunnels.

He lifted his head above the surface and laughed at the sight of Paul, the final group member, releasing his hold on the rope halfway down and indulging in multiple backflips.

Bill swam toward Savannah and grinned at the wide smile that greeted him.

"This is amazing!" Her laugh echoed.

"It's magical," he agreed.

"Jon and I will take the lead. We need to stick together as much as possible. We all have the layout, though, so if somehow we get separated, surface where you are, pull it from your dry bag, and meet at the rendezvous point. We all have our GPS, right?" Derek asked the question even though they had all just verified this above ground.

"We'll stay together," Stewart said. "Savannah and Bill can take the rear, if that's good with you?" He glanced at them.

"Fine with me," Savannah said, still laughing as she watched inquisitive birds diving in through the hole and landing on the flowered vines. She waved her hand at one of the land crew who pulled the rope back up. "See you in a few hours!"

"I thought you wanted to be up front with Matthew," Bill said before adjusting his mask over his eyes and reaching for his regulator.

She slid her gaze toward his and shrugged. "I'm not afraid of getting lost, are you?"

"Nope." He winked, shoved the regulator in his mouth and dipped below the surface to begin checking things out.

Only a handful of diving groups were granted permits each year to enter this mostly undiscovered channel of caves. Opportunities like this were rare and he intended to savor every second of being deep beneath the earth's surface, submerged in wonderment with some of his best friends, lost in the quiet of the water, and disconnected from the noise of his life back home.