Pulse of Heroes (60 page)

“What about Vilna? Isn’t this where she grew
up? Didn’t she live here with her…?”

“Vilna likes you a lot. She told me so
herself. She can keep you company so you won’t be lonely or bored.
She’ll help me raise the baby. We’ll all be family.” Michelle
sighed. Haden gathered her in his arms while she asked him why she
would be lonely, where would he be? “I’ll come around, of course.”
He kissed her and lay his forehead against hers, “I travel a lot
for business, and I’m not always close enough to come sleep here.”
He looked into her eyes and she read his expression perfectly; it
said don’t provoke me. Haden had other homes with other women
waiting for him, and that was not going to change. “It’s just one
year, not a lifetime. Unless you find that just maybe I’m worthy of
your love, in which case you’ll stay here and help me raise our
son. Haden ran his fingers on the outlines of her lips and flashed
a beautiful smile. There was a knock on the front door and the
intimate moment was broken. Haden straightened up and looked at his
watch.

“I’m hungry,” Michelle said, and Haden took
her hand and led her to the kitchen. He called for whoever it was
at the door to come in, and showed Michelle where the food was
kept.

“I sent my housekeeper away for the night.
I’m sorry. Do you know how to cook?” Michelle nodded, and Haden
patted her on the head. “Make yourself what ever you want.”
Michelle looked towards the kettle on the stove. “The tea is in
there,” he said, pointing to a large canister and asking her to
make him a cup too.

Michelle filled the kettle with water and put
it on the stove. She grabbed two cups and saucers, and rummaged
through the pantry searching for honey. There was a brand new jar,
unopened, and she couldn’t get the lid to budge. She quietly walked
into the living room and saw Haden inspect a gun then hand it back
to one of the men, while the other man was sliding a cartridge of
ammunition into his own gun with a loud clack. Michelle cleared her
throat, and Haden motioned to the men who put their weapons away.
“Michelle, what can I help you with? I’m sure you can see that
we’re busy here.” The men looked at Michelle and then back at Haden
who smiled with a shrug. Too shocked to say anything, Michelle just
held the jar of honey out towards him, and Haden walked over and
opened it.

“I don’t know how to turn on the range,” she
added. Haden stepped over to the stove.

“Like this,” he showed her. Haden smiled when
he saw Michelle spooning the honey into the empty cups. “I like
mine very sweet, with lemon,” he said, pointing to a basket of
fruits hanging above Michelle’s head. She reached up to grab the
lemon and that’s when Haden grabbed her by the waist and turned her
over and laid her almost flat on the countertop. He covered her
mouth with his and kissed her passionately. He then pulled her arms
around him, and Michelle embraced him while he ran his hand against
her outer thigh. “I think we’re going to be good friends,” he said,
leaving the kitchen again.

The water boiled and the kettle whistled a
loud, whining screech. It did so for a long time, and eventually
Haden returned to see why Michelle wasn’t tending to it. The
kitchen was empty, and the back door was open.

Michelle knew she only had a couple of
minutes before Haden would find out she was gone. She searched the
Audi and then the truck, but the keys were not there. Michelle
turned to look at the house, then tried to decide between running
up the hill towards the ruins, or downwards. If she went down, she
could either run to the flat clearing where the concert was held,
or to the left where tall shrubbery grew. She chose the shrubbery.
At first she thought about staying there and hiding, but she then
picked up on the unmistakable smell of horses. The stables must be
in that direction. Michelle ran along the pathway, pushing her body
to the limit of its own speed with all her might, all the while
hearing the teakettle whistling, but she wasn’t sure if she was
just imagining it. She was too frightened to look behind her. The
stables were right ahead and she ran straight into them, much to
the surprise of the three horses who neighed and huffed through
their large nostrils. She caught her breath and looked at the six
eyeballs that were studying her with curiosity.

“Hey guys,” she said between gasps. “Don’t
worry, it’s ok. I need a ride.” The horses seemed to quickly grow
accustomed to her presence, and Michelle scanned their faces until
she laid her eyes on the beautiful white and brown mare. “Hey,
Susanna,” she said, reading the mare’s name from the carved wooden
plank above her stall. Michelle reached in to scratch her nose and
the mare moved in closer. Michelle smiled. She had only attended
horse camp once when she was a little girl; she hoped she
remembered how to attach the saddle correctly, let alone ride. The
mare didn’t seem to object to Michelle’s shaky hands as she
tightened the cinch and slid the bridle into place without a
problem. Michelle prayed as she put one foot in the leather stirrup
and lifted herself up. She grabbed the reins and maneuvered the
mare outside.

Michelle looked back at the house and saw no
one coming. She circled around the stables and set out in the
opposite direction. Her whole body was shaking and she felt a
strong pounding sensation behind her ears with each beat of her
heart as it pushed pressured blood through her veins. She had a
headache. At first she let Susanna lead her, but as she got more
comfortable she urged her to speed up by tapping her gently with
her feet. There was still a long way between her and the farmlands
up ahead in the distance, but there was still no one behind her.
They must have thought that she had tried to make it to the main
road, or that she was hiding somewhere around the house.

Michelle began to inhale a little deeper. She
patted Susanna on the neck and urged her not to slow down. Out of
nowhere, a black horse with Haden on top of it, riding bareback,
appeared to her left. Michelle panicked and kicked Susanna, and the
mare took off in a gallop. Michelle was too frightened to look
back. Suddenly, she hit something solid, like running straight into
a cement wall. She was out cold, but only for a second. Michelle
screamed in agony; her back felt like it was on fire. Her eyes were
closed, she couldn’t move, and Haden was on top of her.

“You little bitch!” he growled at her, and
slapped her so hard that she became dizzy. She cried out in pain
and turned away but Haden slapped her again on the other cheek.
“Who do you think you’re going to fool? To lie to me! To play games
with me!?!?” Michelle wept; she had failed. She tried to move
underneath Haden’s weight but he was too heavy and when she exerted
any pressure, her back felt as if it would snap in two. “You little
piss ant. This is how you repay me for my kindness? Lie to me and
make a fool out of me in front of my men! You’re going to pay for
your audacity. That you thought you could con me!” Michelle felt
the pressure from his weight lighten and she thought that maybe
Haden was getting off her, but when she opened her eyes she saw
that he had merely raised himself onto his knees and was unbuckling
his belt.

“No matter how honest I’ve been with you,
you’re always trying to get one over me! You’re rotten! Pulse or
not!” Michelle closed her eyes; the image of a man on top of her
unbuckling his belt was one that could only come from nightmares.
She tried to push him away with her arms but he grabbed both of her
wrists with one hand. With the other he began lifting her skirt.
Michelle tried to kick, despite the pain, but there was no use.
Haden’s hand searched for her underwear and she tried to move her
pelvis away from him. “What’s this?” he said, pulling out a rolled
up kitchen rag from beneath the elastic. He unrolled it in front of
her and the kitchen knife she had stolen fell to the ground. “What
were you planning to do with this? Were you planning to use this on
someone?” he yelled straight into her face, bringing the blade a
mere centimeter away from her. “Tell me!” he yelled, and Michelle’s
eyes watched the serrated blade as it hovered menacingly. Her lips
quivered.

“I… don’t know…” she cried as a stream of
fresh tears broke loose down her cheeks. Haden was furious, his
eyes glowing with anger. He ran the blade across Michelle’s cheek
and she squinted awaiting the pain, but then in a swift move he
instead drew the knife across her dress strap and sliced it.
Michelle was too scared to move.

“You know this could have been so much nicer
between us, but now you’ll just have to suffer.” Haden lifted the
knife above her head, plunging it into the ground so close to her
that she thought for sure he was going to stab her in the face. He
then lowered his lips onto hers while grabbing at her bare chest.
She tried to pull her arms towards her body so she could protect
herself from his cruel fingers, but failed. He kissed her mouth
spitefully and stuck his tongue so deep down her throat that she
thought she was going to choke. She couldn’t scream; anytime she
tried to even breathe his lips were back on top of hers. She tried
to thrash about, to throw him off her, but the more she did that
the rougher he pressed his weight down upon her lungs. She tried to
scratch, and even looked at the knife that was still next to her
face. If only she could get her hand loose for long enough to grab
it. Haden read her mind and chucked the knife as far away as
possible. He then wrapped his hands around her throat and squeezed,
telling her that if she didn’t calm down he’d simply snuff the life
out of her first. And then he would leave her body naked in the
field for the wild animals to eat. No one would ever find her.

Michelle understood. Stop resisting and maybe
he won’t kill her afterwards. Her body was already robbed of all
energy and she was in so much pain; she simply gave up, lying
motionless and turning her head upwards as far as she could to look
at the upside-down horses and the flowers by her head, even the
blue sky above. Michelle whimpered. She found herself quietly
crying out for Elliot, saying his name between little moans of
sadness. She could hear Haden unbuttoning his pants.

“For as much as you’re concerned,” Haden said
coldly as he contorted her legs into whatever unnatural position he
wanted them to be in, “it makes no difference whether you’re with
Elliot or me. The outcome is the same, so just shut up
already!”

“Please!” she pleaded. “Please Haden, don’t.
I’m begging. I’ll do whatever you want. I was just scared, that’s
why I ran… I was scared of being pregnant.” Michelle began bawling
again, searching his eyes for any sign of sympathy. But they were
almost completely white and monstrous. She told him that if he had
a heart he would stop, because she was young and she was somebody’s
daughter just like he had a daughter. She told him to imagine
someone doing the same to Vilna. Haden hesitated for one second,
and Michelle’s instincts told her it was now or never. She quickly
sat up and threw herself on him, wrapping her arms around his waist
and laying her face upon his chest. She pleaded again for him to
have a heart. Haden lifted his arms away from Michelle’s embrace as
if she were diseased. He was not going to feel sorry for her,
instead yelling at her that she made him sick and shoving her off
him so hard that her head bounced on the ground when it landed. He
pushed her legs aside in disgust and got up to fix his pants.
Michelle sobbed and heaved in relief and shame. She hid her face in
her hands and cried out that she wished that she were dead.

“Get up!” Haden yelled at her, but Michelle
couldn’t find the strength. He yelled at her again, and this time
she tried to sit up but as soon as she did she screamed in agony
and reached for her back. The pain was severe.

“I can’t… it hurts too much,” she cried, but
he told her that he didn’t care, warning her that if she weren’t on
her feet by the time he was done tying the horses together he would
change his mind and not stop this time. Michelle struggled to stand
up as Haden watched from a distance, his eyes still unnaturally
blue. She did her best to cover the bare side of her chest with the
torn dress, and pulled the skirt down over her legs. She stood
hunched over in pain.

“Look what you made me do!” he said to her.
Michelle looked down at her dirt-soiled dress. “You brought this on
yourself! I hate it when someone causes me to lose control,
especially a stupid girl like yourself who has no idea what it is
she really wants. You’re very, very lucky, and I hope you remember
this day!” he said, then spat on the ground towards her. Michelle
apologized profusely for running away, but Haden told her that he
didn’t believe a word she said. She was a liar like all women, like
all humans. He then grabbed her by her elbow and dragged her back
towards Susanna. He tied her hands behind her back and then ran his
hand along her spine without any sensitivity at all. She screamed
when he touched the sore spot. “There’s nothing broken, you’re just
bruised. Take a freakin’ aspirin when we get home. You think I give
a damn?” Haden lifted her and roughly placed her on the mare. “You
deserve it. I hope you suffer well.”

Haden untied Michelle and threw her onto his
bed. She rolled into a fetal position and wept quietly, massaging
her back every once in a while and crying out that she was hurting.
Her body felt like it was bruised all over. Her spirit and her soul
were just as bruised. She had never thought that she would be
fighting for her life with every ounce of energy, and she had never
really understood how weak she was until now. She was fragile and
pathetic, she was a woman, and her strength would always be
mediocre to that of a man’s. She had been moments away from getting
raped; she was in hell. She knew very well that Haden had not even
come close to using all his strength on her. He could have easily
killed her if he wanted to.