Punished Into Submission (38 page)

“Fuck off,” I say, between heaves.

“You need to eat, come on.” David comes over and helps me wash my face. “It’s past lunch time, and you’ve been basically asleep all day. I came in at eight, but it was almost like you had only just crawled into bed.” David looks at me with a grin.

“Are you accusing me of something?” I ask, making myself look guilty.

“The fact that you know there is something to be accused of says it all, Kat.” David walks out of the room and comes back in moments later with a shirt and gym pants. “Put these on and meet me in the kitchen.” David throws them at me and walks out.

I walk into the kitchen half an hour later. Once David left, I was deep in the bowl again. I just can’t hold my liquor like I used too. David points to the table as soon as I walk through the door and I sit. He puts a cup of coffee in front of me, and before I even have it up to my mouth he gives me a glass of juice.

“Orange juice cures everything,” he says walking back to the stove.

“About the only thing it cures is constipation,” I say, listening to David laugh.

I sip my coffee while David cooks and tells me about the sports results. I giggle and burst out laughing at the right times while he continues to go on. He is such a good man and I see him in each of his boys, even Simon. Despite what he did to me and what he said, there is a good side to him.

“Call me back as soon as you have it.” Hunter says into the phone as he walks into the room.

I can’t even bring myself to look at him. When I see him, I see America with her paws all over him; it makes my empty stomach turn. I see the light bruise on his cheek as he walks to the coffee machine. Once again, it’s a reminder of America touching him, and of course the roll I played in the whole thing. He turns his head towards me as I stare, but I look away immediately.

David puts a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me and suddenly I’m famished. I choose to ignore Hunter and eat my breakfast, lunch and possibly dinner all in one. I thank David as he leaves the kitchen and heads in the direction of the bar. I see Hunter move but don’t look to where. It’s not until he sits next to me that I cringe.

“Ignoring me won’t help what you did,” he bites, the bitterness in his tone coming out.

“You’re ruining my meal, Hunter,” I say putting more bacon into my mouth and relishing the taste.

“You threw paint all over America’s car and smashed the headlights.” Hunter isn’t impressed, and I have to keep chewing practically nothing to stop myself from laughing. “I have spent the morning cleaning up your mess, and trying to pay my brother off so he stays the fuck away from you.”

I drop my knife and fork and turn towards Hunter.

“Don’t pay him off for me, do it for yourself, Hunter. I’m out of here in a few days and you will never see me again. What Simon did was cruel and mean, but I deserved it, I deserved everything he did to me. I hurt him years ago just as bad as he did me.” I push my half eaten meal away and stand. “But what hurt me more is when you decided to fuck America. I have feelings...” I stop talking and walk away. I wouldn’t be able to take back those words once they flew out of my mouth.

“Kat, wait.” Hunter follows me to the gym.

“Just go away, I’m done playing your game. You win, now fuck off.” I practically give in; well...I do give in.

“Wait.” Hunter grabs my arm and pushes me against the wall. “What the fuck are you talking about? I wasn’t with America last night.” He makes me half believe he is telling the truth, but I know the truth; I heard it.

“Hunter, I know what I heard, so don’t lie to me.” I push his chest but he just leans into me more, caging me against him and the wall.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Kat, so stop accusing me of sleeping with her.”

“Oh and let me guess, you’re going to deny your plans of going to Paris with her and Sailor?” I snap and watch his face change into perfect guilt.

“Who told you that?” Hunter asks, keeping me caged but putting a little distance between us.

“America, who else? She said you were taking her with you and wedding bells were ringing,” I say, emphasising the wedding bells.

“Fuck,” Hunter curses, stepping away from me.

I prayed America was wrong. But everything Hunter does, tells me she hadn’t lied. It was all true. The doubts I had earlier had all vanished.

“You’re a real piece of work, Hunter. You are just as fucked up as I am; but the difference is, I can admit that I have flaws and faults. You just think you can hide behind yours.” I push his chest as I seethe with anger. “You are weak. You are nothing. I can’t believe I thought even for a second that I actually had feelings for you. I fucking hate you. And believe me when I say that.”

“Kat.” Hunter snaps out of his daze and reaches out for me.

My back is against the glass wall to the gym. I slap his hands away and slide along the window a little more.

“Stop,” he yells, as he grabs my hands in his.

His hands wrap around my wrist and I struggle harder. I kick Hunter until he lets my wrists go but he pushes me against the wall again; I hit it with a hard thud.

“Get off me,” I yell.

“Listen to me,” he growls through his teeth.

“I don’t want to listen to you, get the fuck away from me and stay the fuck away from me.” I use all my strength to push him away. He stumbles a little but recovers. At the same time Hunter and I reach out and grab each other by the throat. Both our breathing is rough, my pulse is sounding in my ears as the anger radiates off my body.

“You are fucking testing, Kat.” Hunter pulls my face closer to his, effectively making my grip around his neck tighter. “You have one fucking sin left, then that’s it, I’m done with you. Good fucking riddens.”

We let each other go at the same time and he pushes me back. I watch as he runs his hands down his face in frustration. He looks back to me, and then once again before he walks away from me. Something unsettling came over me with his last words.

“Come on, time to warm up.” Rumbles calls from the doorway and I look up to the roof.

“I’m coming,” I say, willing my legs to move my body.

I push off the glass wall and head into the gym to join Rumbles. When I walk in I pick up my gloves and slide them onto my hands, then walk over to the mats. I wait for a few minutes, punching into the air a few times but when Rumbles doesn’t join me, I look for him. When I turn he’s sitting on the floor against the wall. His face is in his hands resting on his knees.

Walking over to him I drop my gloves and squat down beside him. I pull his hands off his face and make him look at me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, my voice sounding more annoyed than normal.

“Hunter isn’t lying, Kat.” Rumbles says, pulling his head from my grip.

“What do you mean?”

“Hunter was with me last night; after you hit America he took her up to his room and ran out while you were drinking with David. I spent the night calming him down.” Rumble’s looks to me.

My head swims with, “what the fucks,” as I process his words.

“He was pissed at his brother for what he did to you, more than the fact that you lied to him. He wanted to murder someone. So I took him to the ring on Fourth Street where I used to fight and hit it out with him for hours.” As he speaks I sit on my floor. “He got in a beauty, see.” Rumbles pulls up his shirt to reveal a throbbing bruise on his ribs.

“But, he was with her the other night when the fire happened,” I say, processing everything that’s happened.

“No, he wasn’t.”

“Where was he? Don’t you lie for him Rumbles,” I say, pointing my finger at him.

“I...I...we,” he clears his throat when he speaks. “I wanted to try it, you know...” he puts his head down and I have no idea what he’s talking about.

“Try what?”

“Fuck, Kat. Do I have to spell it for you?” Rumbles actually snaps at me with this tone.

“What?”

Rumbles leans his head back against the wall and looks up. He makes a moaning noise at the same him. What the hell did Rumbles want to try...then it hits me.

“You tried kink?” I basically shout.

“Keep it quiet, and yes I did. It’s not for me. Hunter was helping me try to get my head around it all with this sub he knew that was just starting out. I told him not to tell anyone, even you.” Rumbles points at me this time and I feel sorry for my words immediately.

“Why wouldn’t you want to tell me? We are friends, are we not?”

“Kat, people like you don’t have friends.” When Rumbles says the words, I cringe. “I’m sorry Kat, but you are your own worst enemy and while you are an amazing person with me, and I have only great things to say about you, you just hurt my friend. Hunter is important to me and that’s what it feels like to have friends. When you know you will do anything for them, no matter whom you lose in the process.”

“What are you saying, Rumbles?” I stand up furious.

“I’m saying you fucked up the best thing you have ever had, by listening to your demons. You are your own worst enemy and David is right, you can’t help someone who won’t help themselves, and until you do help yourself...you will have no one.”

Rumbles chips away at the final bit of wall I have left up. I watch it in my mind and it comes crashing down. Here I sit, an exposed monster, heartless, damaged, and most of all...a whore.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I
sat by the pool for hours thinking. I had done way to fucking much of it lately and it got me nowhere really. All things were finally going to come to an end soon and I would go on with my life and try building those walls once again. I needed those walls to protect me, to stop my heart from feeling love or feeling anything other than emotional and physical pain. The more I thought, the more it all came back to Hunter.

His words had cut me like a knife, and Rumbles just finished the job.

I dip my feet into the ice water and kick them softly. The water bubbles under my feet and brings swirls of bigger bubbles to the surface. A little like my feelings. I was disappointed in Sailor when I thought about him. He was supposed to be my rock, and according to me, he was my best friend. He had always been there for me; he stopped me from ending my life years ago when he found me on the street trying to get warm because I had nowhere to live. I was sick of running, so I took him up on his offer. He has always been the reasoning for everything for me. That’s why I’m here.

Hunter tells me I have one sin left. I don’t want to wait any longer or be here any longer than I have too. He hates me, and I deserve that. My chest rises and falls slowly, but it aches. The thought of not waking up to him hurts. It’s like a ticking time bomb has implanted itself in my heart and I know when the day comes when I have to leave, it will explode. There is only one answer to all this, and that’s to leave. I will stay long enough to see the ball through and then I am gone. Sailor is leaving the next day, so it’s not like I have anywhere else to go but run again. And right now....I need to run. Simon being back is never good for one’s heart, body or mind.

I remove my now frozen toes from the water and dry them off. I need to find Hunter and I need to do it now before this all turns to shit. I walk through the back door and basically run into James who is talking on the phone. He drops the phone when I walk in and pales a little.

“James?” I say, reaching out and touching his shoulder.

“I, ah...” he reaches down and picks up the phone from the ground. A voice is calling to him and I can hear it clear as day. The voice is familiar, yet I can’t place it.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I ah...” James presses a button and the voice stops talking. He looks nervous almost. “How long were you, ah standing out there?” he asks, pointing to the door I just came through.

“I was by the pool.” I say, narrowing my eyes. He’s hiding something. “Are you sure nothing is going on?”

“Fine, just family stuff,” he says, holding up the phone.

I watch him start to walk away as I nod my head in response. I follow behind him commando style. When he turns, I hide behind the doorway so he can’t see me. He stops when he gets to the door that leads to the basement and presses several buttons on his phone before looking around again. I hide behind the back of the staircase and listen.

“Sorry, Kat came inside and I got freaked out. You said you were coming to the ball?” James looks around one more time before he opens the door and goes into the basement. I wait a few seconds and sneak around the corner to the door. Putting my ear against it, I listen for a few seconds before I bring my hand up to the door handle to open it.

“Whom are you spying on?”

I literally scream and turn with my hands in fists. My heart is erratic and I can hear the beating in my ears.

“Fuck me, Hunter. Don’t do that, I almost killed you with my...” I shake my fist in his face.

“With your fist?” he laughs. “I’m not that scary, surely?”

“I was on a mission for fucks sake. And you ruined it!” I throw my hands in the air before crossing them over my chest.

“A mission. Sounds top secret,” he jokes.

I look at the easy going Hunter who was wild with fury not so long ago. He has changed his clothes and attitude in a split second of time. Either that or he’s smoking the same crack Angel smokes and is mellow again. He leans against the wall and crosses one leg over the other at the ankle; his hands cross over this chest. I just continue to stare at his body before my eyes drift to his perfect face.

“You finished your mission?” he asks, a hit of sarcasm in his voice.

“No, James is hiding something,” I say, pointing to the door he just went down.

“James?” Hunter starts laughing, loudly.

“It’s not funny; I know suspicion when I see it.” I use the same sarcasm Hunter did earlier.

“He has a lot going on with his family right now, and who would know suspicion better than someone who vandalizes other’s belongings?” Hunter pushes off from the wall and steps forward.

“Hey, that was...” I bite my tongue.

“That was childish. You hit her, wasn’t that enough?”

“Did I break her nose? If you say yes, then I will say it was enough,” I say, giggling and flexing my sore hand at the same time.