Pure Redemption (Tainted Legacy) (28 page)

“Right,” Molly tried to agree. “As long as Serena doesn’t swipe him out from under me.”

“She won’t,” Ava said and she truly believed it.

“”Well,” Molly said as she took a deep breath, “
let’s get this over with.”

Chapter 20

Ava flinched in her sleep and Gabe knew immediately that the nightmare was beginning. She’d had them periodically since he’d been back. The first time it had happened there had been that ridiculous pillow between them. Her whimpers had awakened him that time. Not sure what to do, he’d tried to shake her awake but the disturbance only seemed to make things worse. When that hadn’t worked he’d flipped the pillow out of the way and pulled her into his arms. That night had been a bad night. She had thrashed and whimpered and finally clung to him in her sleep. By the time the nightmare had passed, his chest had been wet with her tears. Her body still trembled long after the thrashing had ceased.

She didn’t wake herself and after she’d calmed again, much, much later, he’d replaced the pillow and pretended nothing had happened. Since then, he’d asked her and found out that she was still haunted by that terrible night. The nightmares were seldom now, seemingly brought on by stress. Considering how worried she was about Julia he wasn’t surprised when he realized it was starting. He’d given up on trying to wake her up. It seemed she just had to wait it out.

So when the first whimper escaped her lips, he did what he’d become accustomed to doing. Now that she slept curled into him, he pulled her a little bit closer. He wiped the hair out of her face and started whispering nonsensical but calming words in the darkness of the cabin’s bedroom. Even in her sleep she clung desperately to him, as if by sheer will she could change the nightmare and keep him with her, instead of watching him fall away. He rubbed her arm soothingly and dropped light kisses on her forehead, feeling guilty that he was the cause of all of this. That the horrible memory of what he had done was the cause of this.

This time, the night terror seemed to last longer than usual, possibly not only because of Julia but because of the sigils
behavior
igniting a fear in her. Something had set them off and obviously, that something was evil.

“It’s okay, Ava.
I’m right here,” he said quietly into her ear when her whimpers increased. Her grip on him tightened as if on some level she knew he was there but she couldn’t pull herself out of the darkness to get to him. “Shhh, you’re okay,” he continued to tell her as he cupped a hand around her face and used his thumb to push away the light stream of tears.

After a while it passed, as it always did. Her breathing became more even.  Her grip on him loosened just a little, though his, on her, remained the same.

He didn’t seem to need nearly as much sleep as she did. Those first few days, he had. He’d been exhausted. But now, now he just enjoyed lying next to her, feeling her body pressed into his all night long. He could lie awake half the night just feeling mesmerized by her presence, by the rhythmic sound of her breathing.

It was times like this, when he felt completely secure and content with her in his arms that he dared try to peek into the locked box of memories that comprised his past. As always, just one little nudge sent his heart racing and his stomach sloshing with a nausea that spiraled through
him the harder he pushed. Ava squirmed against his side, as if she felt his mental anguish and he decided
then and there,
once and for all
,
that he was done.

Absolutely done trying to remember
. B
ecause while his current life wasn’t all glossed over happiness with motorcycle rides, steamy kisses and apple pies, he knew with unequivocal certainty it was infinitely better than his old life where he felt the darkness trying to stream in to pull him under.

He had absolute faith that his present and his future were curled into his arms. There was nothing in his past for him.

Once he’d decided that he wanted to make things work, once he’d stopped holding that part of himself back, his feelings for Ava had come back in a flood, almost overwhelming at times. He couldn’t remember her but he had no doubt he remembered exactly how he felt about her. And he felt the same way, still.

He realized he must’ve dozed off again at some point because light yet persistent kisses were being dotted across his neck and then down his chest. He pretended to be asleep a few moments longer just so Ava would keep up with her effort to wake him.

“Mmmm,” he finally murmured, unable to help himself as her hands slid all over him. “It could be dangerous for you to keep doing that.”

“How so?” she whispered. H
er mouth was next to his ear and then she dropped her lips down ever so slightly to kiss the area right below it.

Gabe groaned as he grabbed her and flipped her over so she was on her back and he was propped above her. “Because,” he said, “I’m trying really hard to mostly behave myself and you make it really, really difficult sometimes.”

This, too, Ava had realized, was a side-effect of Gabe’s newfound morals. It was one that she thought she could do without.

“Why would y
ou want to behave yourself?” she
teased as she squirmed beneath him.
Her
hands, which had been resting on his shoulders, began a steady descent
down his back and her leg looped around him.

“You can truly be a wicked girl,” Gabe said before his
face grew serious
.
Av
a stilled as he studied
her
. “
But I want to behave b
ecause I love you and I don’t want to rush anything.”

His words had obviously taken her by surprise. She stared at him for a moment and then frowned. “You love me? Are you sure?” she finally asked. “Because I don’t want you to say it if you don’t mean it. I’m willing to wait for however long it takes.”

He had to fight the urge to scoff at her. “Yes, I’m sure and that’s not really the response I was looking for.”

A smile slid across her face. “Then say it again, please.”

“I love you,” he said before placing a kiss on her nose. “I love you,” he said again before placing another kiss on her forehead. “I really, really love you,” he said just before his kiss landed on her lips.

Ava responded by pulling him closer, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him back with so much longing that she hoped her actions told him what he’d cut her lips off from saying.
She let her hands glide across his bare back. It was smooth now, flawless, and becoming familiar to her in the same way her body was becoming familiar to him.

She moaned into his mouth as the kiss deepened and he froze.

“And now I need a shower,” he said as he hopped up. “Right now. A long, cold one.”

“Now?” she pretended to pout.

“Right n
ow,” he
threw over his shoulder as he disappeared through the door.

By the time he came back Ava had her clothes set out for the day and she had just placed her chain with its two pendants on her dresser. When she showered or swam in the lake, she took them off. But only then.

Gabe picked them up, inspecting them.

“It’s so strange to see you holding that,” Ava told him. “I mean, I didn’t know it at the time but you wouldn’t even touch me if I was wearing it. And now you’re holding it.”

He clenched his fist around the cross. “I feel something emanating from it,” he said, surprising himself as much as Ava by the words. “But it’s not painful. It actually feels peaceful, maybe?”

“Yeah?” Ava asked with raised eyebrows.

He nodded. “Yeah. I like it.”

“Well,” she said in a teasing tone, “you’ll have to get your own because that one is mine.”

“Fine,” he said as he flicked his towel at her and she shrieked as she darted away. “Be that way. And I won’t tell you what I have planned for today.”

“Oh! You have to tell me! What are we doing today?” Molly had gone through with her plan and it had worked perfectly. Julia was now tucked away safely at her house and Ava had insisted that she wanted to stop by later in the day despite Molly’s protests that she was fine.

But for now, she had planned to spend some time with Gabe.

He grinned. “As soon as you’re ready, go get your helmet and I’ll show you.”

***

They had ridden f
or several hours, stopping for
lunch at the little burger place he’d discovered. He had no idea if Ava had been there or not but was happy to find out that she hadn’t been. He had been pleased with himself when she raved about the hot fudge malts.

After that, they’d just enjoyed the ride.

When they were done, he’d dropped her off at Molly’s with the agreement that she’d call when she was ready for him to come get her.

He’d been relieved that she hadn’t asked what he was going to do with his afternoon. It was likely that she assumed he was going home.

He was going home, alright.

He cut the engine of his motorcycle and stared up at the enormous brick house for a moment. The house held no sense of familiarity. From what Ava had told him, he knew he’d
lived in the smaller guest house around back. He couldn’t see it from where he was standing. For just a second he was tempted to go check it out.

If Rafe had left everything, the place would still be full of his personal belongings. Then he decided that there was nothing in that house that he would want. No music, no clothes, no
anything
was worth being tied to his past.

As he made his way up the walk, he contemplated ringing the bell but decided against it. It was best to act as though he belonged
. A
s if he didn’t feel the least bit intimidated. He turned the knob and shoved the heavy door open.

He had decided he was not going to sit on his ass
,
wait
ing
to find out what Rafe wanted. He was going to face this problem head on. Put a stop to it
now,
if he could. If it had been Rafe at the cabin the other night, he wanted to know why.
No way in hell was he
going to find out by sitting around, waiting to be blindsided.

“Rafe!” he bellowed. His voice echoed down the hallway as he stood in the foyer. He heard muffled footsteps and then one of the doors that dotted the hallway swung open.

“The traitor has returned,” Rafe noted in a voice that resonated boredom.

Gabe took a disgusted step back, away from the blackness that coated him.
“W
hat do you want?”

“What do I want?” Rafe asked. “You’re the one standing in my house.”

“And was it you at my house the other night?” Gabe
wanted to know.

Rafe’s face remained carefully blank. “Your house? You consider that little hut your home? How…quaint.”

“What were you doing there?”

Rafe shrugged. “I think the question is what are
you
doing
here
?”

“I’d prefer
not
to be here. So why don’t you tell me what you’re up to so I can leave. I’m sure we’d both be happier that way.”

“You’re right,” Rafe agreed. “I do want something. Come.”

Gabe bristled at being ordered around like he was nothing more than Rafe’s pet. Yet he didn’t want to be in this vile place any longer than necessary. Just being in the house made his bones vibrate in disgust.

He followed Rafe into what appeared to be an office. Rafe sat behind the enormous cherry desk. Gabe seated himself in one of the chairs facing him. “Well?”

“Anxious, are you?”

“To get out of here? Yes,” Gabe agreed.

“What makes you think I want something?” Rafe demanded.

“Seems to me you are the type of person who always wants something,” Gabe diplomatically replied. He feigned boredom as his eyes wandered about the room. He tried not to appear too curious, or lost, as he noted the details around him. The desk was surprisingly bare considering Rafe had just emerged from this room. Three of the burgundy walls were completely bare as well. The fourth, the one behind Rafe
,
was lined with bookshelves. On one side were what looked like ancient tomes. On the other, a variety of objects that he could only guess at
their use. Among them was a chalice that sent sparks shooting up Gabe’s spine. Another shelf housed a row of silver flasks that grabbed his attention.