Purpose (16 page)

“Not sure how you did that, but great. And thanks.” He tapped his bottle to Will’s.

Jake nodded and led them out the back door to a less crowded patio. Will scanned the area and “told” three people at a table to get up and go inside. Swooping in, Jake acted like he’d scored the prize. Ryan snickered, forcing Will to squeeze his hand a bit tighter.

“This is great. I never get this lucky.” Jake took a long pull on his beer. “You two are a good luck charm.”

Ryan snorted, then used his beer to cover his laugh. “Will is good at getting lucky.”

Raising both eyebrows, Jake leered at them. “Oh, really? Do tell.”

“Never mind.” Will waved his hand in front of Ryan. “What goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.”

“Fine, but I’m gonna think dirty thoughts anyway.”

An awkward moment followed where they all took a drink. Jake sat grinning, almost begging Will to read his mind. Will didn’t, wanting to be “normal” tonight.

“So, Will, what do you do?”

“Security consultant.” The lie rolled off easily. “Something of an independent contractor. Can’t really talk about what I do, but the money’s good.”

“Nice.” Nodding, he turned to Ryan. “What about you?”

“In between jobs at the moment.” Picking at the label, he kept his head down.

“Ryan’s going to be a writer.” He knew Ryan would never admit to his dreams. “He just doesn’t want to jinx himself.”

“What do you like to write?” Jake’s interest perked Ryan’s spirits.

“Sci-fi mostly. Maybe a bit of fantasy. Just no werewolves or vampires.”

They all laughed. Jake nodded. “And no school-age wizards.”

“That too.”

“What about you?” Having given Ryan a bit of a boost, Will decided to steer the conversation from him. “Major? Year? Plans?”

“Getting my doctorate in physics. I want to teach.” He shrugged. “I know I don’t fit the look of a science nerd, but I’ve always loved science.”

“That’s cool.” Ryan’s animated face had Will grinning. “I got a minor in physics.”

“Really?” Jake pushed his chair around slightly. “Where’d you go to school?”

Leaning back in his chair, Will let them talk, occasionally answering the odd question put to him. Seeing Ryan happy, he didn’t care if they ignored him all night.

“H
E
CAN
’
T
go home, Will.” Ryan was slightly buzzed, but Will knew he understood what he said.

“Fine, but bringing him to our place is a mistake.” He glanced over to see Jake half-asleep against the wall. They needed a cab, but Will hadn’t seen any empty ones drive by. “Don’t forget he doesn’t know about me.”

“What’s that got to do with anything? If he doesn’t know, how can he tell anyone?”

Having a “friend” over went against all his instincts. It complicated his life, and theirs. Still, Jake was wasted and in no shape to make it home. Maybe Ryan had a point. Rather than argue, he hailed an empty cab. At first it looked off duty, but he “convinced” the driver to pick them up.

“Okay, but in the morning I’m going to make sure he doesn’t remember where we live.”

The cabbie started to tell them he was not working, so Will “reminded” him they were his last fare. They lived on the driver’s way home, so he didn’t feel guilty.

Sitting with Jake between them, Will felt Ryan’s discomfort. “You’re quiet; something wrong?”

“Not really.”

Even though he wanted to, he could not just say, “Okay.” “Not really means ‘yes’, but you don’t want to talk about it. I won’t force you, but I’ll listen if you want to tell me.”

Meeting his stare, Ryan wavered a moment, then smiled. “That’s sweet of you, Will, but right now I’d….” He drew a loud breath through his nose and held it for a few seconds. “Okay, two things… no, three. First, I feel so weird. We’ve known each other about a week, and already I think of your place as ours—”

“It is our place.” The sentiment made sense, but he wanted Ryan to understand he should think of it as his place too.

“No”—Ryan smiled, almost a happy smile, at that—“I didn’t mean to say it wasn’t mine. You’ve made it clear it’s as much my home as yours. What I meant was, a week ago I was homeless, or about to be, friendless, and without hope. Now I have you, an amazing place to live, and we’re bringing a friend to our place, because he’s too drunk to get home safely. I’m not sure how to feel. This is so new.”

“That makes sense.” It did too. He wasn’t patronizing Ryan. “How ’bout the second?”

“The second was sorta tied up with the first. I’m not sure I believe Jake is or will be our friend. Not that he is lying or anything. It’s just no one’s ever wanted to be my friend, or not many, and now suddenly Jake wants to be my—our friend. Feels too good to be true.”

“Ryan….”

“Yeah, Will, I know I can’t think like that, and I’m not saying it is too good to be true, just that it feels that way.”

Nodding, he tried to understand Ryan’s emotions without reading his mind. “Gotcha. What’s the third?”

“You.”

“I’m wrong?” The hurt in his voice surprised him.

“No, doofus, you’re not wrong. I… you… well… while this isn’t ‘wrong’, it does make me wonder. You were so good to me tonight… hell, ever since we met. It’s like someone sent me an angel to watch over me. I keep expecting I’ll wake up and find you’re not real, or that you’ll tell me this is all just a joke and I can leave now.”

From Jake’s breathing, Will knew he was awake and listening. It didn’t take much to “convince” his mind to go back to sleep. “Ryan….”

“Will, you don’t need to say anything.”

“I want to, and since I listened to you, will you hear what I have to say?” He wouldn’t force it on Ryan, but he wanted to make sure it didn’t come across as an ultimatum.

A small nod, and Ryan averted his eyes. Too bad, he liked to speak facing each other.

“There will never come a time when this”—he motioned between them, making Ryan look up—“is ever a joke. I’ve never lied to you, and all I can say is I won’t start. I’m no angel, far from it. Yes, I care about you, more than I expected I would after just a few days, but I’m not as good at this as you think.

“I know I can’t convince you I won’t disappear or won’t hurt you, so I won’t try, but don’t judge me based on other guys you’ve met or dated. On so many levels, I’m not normal.”

Ryan snorted, smiling at him. “That’s an understatement.”

Will laughed. “We’ve had this conversation before, haven’t we?”

Nodding, Ryan picked at the seat. “Yeah, last time I worried about you leaving me.”

“Exactly. I told you then, and I’ll tell you now and as many times as you need to hear it: I’m not going to push you away. I plan to take care of you as long as you let me.”

Ryan nodded before he slowly turned toward Will. The small hint of a smile swelled until it covered his face.

“Besides, what good does worrying do?” Will winked. “All it does is ruin your good mood, and I like seeing you happy.”

He “let” Jake wake up to prevent Ryan from having to respond.

“Where….”

“You’re too drunk to go home,” Will said. “So you’re staying with us tonight.”

Swaying, Jake raised both arms and draped one over each shoulder. “Cool. Three-way.”

Snorting, Will shook his head. “In your dreams, Jake.”

R
YAN
opened his eyes and rolled away from the window. “Why are we leaving today?”

The way Ryan grabbed his head told Will he was feeling the effects of last night. Jake was worse, so Will had escorted him back to campus.

“Here.” The large extra-shot latte brought a whiff of relief to Ryan’s eyes. “I figured this would help.”

“Thank you.” A long draw later, Ryan sighed. “So good.”

It took a bit of effort not to roll his eyes. “So glad.”

Will shucked his pants and made for the bathroom. “I need a quick shower first.”

“Hey.” Cup clutched firmly, Ryan followed him. “You never said why we’re leaving today. Can’t it wait a day?”

“My brother called me back last night, but we were out so I didn’t answer it. He and his wife are only in town until tomorrow night. This gives us two days.” He peeled the shirt over his head and adjusted the water. “I figure this might be a bit much to drop on them in just one day.”

“Oh.” Ryan put the toilet seat down and sat hard. “I guess that’s a good reason.”

“Don’t worry.” Will parted the curtains and slipped quickly under the spray. “You can sleep in the car on the way up.”

“Ha! I have no idea if you can drive. You think I’ll be able to sleep?”

Rubbing the shampoo into a lather, he laughed. “Ryan, I’ve been driving for forty years. My reflexes are better than anyone else’s on the road, and my ability to anticipate what happens next is… well, exceptional. You’ll never be with a better driver.”

“Confident much?”

He could hear the gurgle as Ryan drank deeply. “If it lets you sleep, yes.”

He finished quickly, shut the taps, and opened the curtain. Holding the towel just out of reach, Ryan smirked. “Looking for this?”

“No, I found it. My adorable boyfriend has it.” He smiled as much at their exchange as his choice of words. A week ago he’d have… a week ago no one would’ve been living in his apartment, so that was a useless comparison. Even the disbelief at reverting to his old self was rapidly fading. He smiled wider.

“Ha! If you think flattery will get you what you want, forget it.” Ryan scooted back, putting his cup on the vanity.

“Fine, I’ll just get back in the shower.” Shutting the curtain, he turned on the water. “It’s a pity you feel so bad. A little shower play would be a great way to start the trip.”

“Super hearing” wasn’t needed to know Ryan was discarding his clothes as fast as he could. He smirked, toying with the idea of making the water ice cold, but decided against it. Maybe next time, when Ryan wasn’t hurting so much.

The vinyl liner opened and shut in seconds. “Never said I felt too bad for this.”

Their lips met before Will could answer. No, this was the answer he wanted to give. In the back of his mind, he felt
It
lurking, but quiet. For an instant, Gar surged forward, pushing the detached, uncaring feeling to the fore.

The idea he might push Ryan away helped tamp down the cold persona he had shown for so long.
No, you can stay with It while I enjoy my life again.

“Where’d you go?” Hearing Ryan’s voice, he realized they’d stopped kissing.

“
It
… Gar… they… decided I should be less interested in you.” He shrugged, trying to make his next words sound lighter. “I told them to fuck off.”

Ryan put his palms on Will’s chest and laid his head between them. “I wish they weren’t involved in this.”

Hmm, honesty might not always be so smart. “Ryan, Will—I—won’t go back into hiding. I’m alive again. I have a reason to care, to get up, to do more than wait for some clarion call to arms. I’m stronger than
It
, or I wouldn’t have survived this long. I’ll do what
It
wants, but otherwise my time is mine.”

Will tilted Ryan’s chin up and inched closer for a kiss. He felt Ryan tremble, and soon they were back to the passion they’d had before Gar “showed up.”

“And right now,” he whispered between kisses, “I want to spend my time with you.”

G
LIDING
the stick into fourth gear, Will gave the antique car enough gas for it to accelerate into the merge.

“Where did you get
this
car?” Ryan never looked over, too preoccupied running his hand over the car’s immaculate interior.

“I had it shipped down yesterday. My parents gave it to me when I graduated law school. They hoped it would help me get over David’s death.” He shrugged. “They meant well.”

“This is a forty-year-old Porsche?” Swiveling around, Ryan seemed to take in every detail.

“Almost. They bought it new, but it was the year-before model. I’m pretty sure they special ordered it when I started my third year.” For the first time, he felt a sense of gratitude toward the gift. “They thought it would get me over my funk. Hell, they tried everything else: doctors, interventions, family parties. Nothing helped.”

How could it? No one knew he had been possessed by an ancient spirit.

“It has less than five thousand miles.” Suddenly, his lack of gratitude came back more keenly. “At first I thought it would be too obvious, too traceable. Now? It has its own scrambling device. No two people see the same color, style, and license plate. Whatever.”

“It’s so perfect, it looks new.” Ryan pushed back in his seat, turning toward Will. “Did you store it?”

“Kept it in a storage facility near my parents’ house.” The same parents he had ignored, barely said “thank you” to.

His voice almost cracked, but the change was enough to be noticed.

“What’s wrong?”

The hand on his shoulder didn’t give the comfort it was supposed to provide. “Bad memory. Things I wish I could do over.”

“Can you tell me about it?” Ryan’s need to be useful, to be there for him, made Will regret saying anything. More than that, he regretted the trip, asking Ryan to come, calling his family, everything. But he asked, and other than feeling weak, he had no reason not to explain.