Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves) (51 page)

“
No, Alex, I’m fine.  Really, I am.  Let’s have a nice dinner and enjoy ourselves,” I insisted.

Alex ordered
a big bowl of hot soup for me to help me feel better.  I managed to eat the entire bowl because I was determined to feel better, but I felt colder and colder.  I knew I had developed a fever because I was freezing and my entire body was aching.  My teeth even began to chatter.  Alex noticed that I wasn’t feeling better and asked for the check.

I fell asleep on the drive home and h
e awakened me when we arrived at his house.  Alex checked my temperature with his thermometer and discovered I had a fever of a hundred and two.  He drew a lukewarm bath, which felt like ice water to me, and insisted that I sit in there for a few minutes to drop my temperature. 

“
Here baby, take a couple of these,” he said, handing me two pills.

After what seemed like an eternity, I came out of the freezing cold bathtub with my teeth still chattering and m
y body shivering.  Alex helped me into bed.  He lit the fireplace in the bedroom and tucked me in just as my parents used to do when I was a child.  He crawled into bed and wrapped his arm around my waist, my back against his chest.  My eyelids were so heavy that I couldn’t even open my eyes to look at the fire.

“
Wake me up if you don’t feel well,” he said as he moved my hair away from my neck and kissed the back of my neck.  I was out like a light bulb moments later.

<><><>

I woke up in the middle of the night shivering.  I couldn’t get warm no matter how much I tried to cover myself with the comforter.

“
Alex, it’s freezing in here.  Is the heater on?” I asked.

“
Hmm?  What’s wrong, baby?” he asked, disoriented.

“
It’s so cold.  I’m freezing.  Is the heater on?” I asked again.

“
It’s hot in here, babe.  I think you’re running a fever again,” he said.  Alex got up and brought the thermometer and checked my temperature.  He was right.  I had a fever again.  I hardly ever got sick and here I was, sick with a fever at his house.                                         

“
Did you get your flu shot?” he asked.

“
Yes, I did.  I feel really bad that you have to take care of me.  I’m sorry,” I apologized.

Al
ex gave me a couple more pills and made me drink a large glass of water.

“
Hey, don’t say that.  Don’t apologize for being sick.  I like taking care of you, baby, and I will as long as it takes to bring back my healthy Claire.  I’ll hold you until your fever goes down,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me and I drifted back into sleep.

When I woke up in the morning it was very bright and sunny out.  I turned to look at the ocean and had such a clear view of it
, since it was a beautiful, clear day.  I looked at the time and was surprised to find out it was almost eleven in the morning.  Alex was still asleep and I felt much better.  I must have had a short-lived virus that I had fought off overnight.  Alex must have felt that I had awakened and he opened his eyes as well.

“
Look who’s feeling better,” he said, smiling.  “I have to say, you were pretty sick last night, baby.  You look like you feel so much better,” he said.

“Thanks to you, Alex. 
Thanks for taking care of me.  I’m glad I was here with you and not home alone.  I felt terrible last night.  I hardly ever get sick, especially with a fever,” I replied.

“
Well, you do work in a hospital now, Claire.  You’re exposed to patients and viruses.  You just have to make sure you get enough vitamin C during cold and flu season,” he ordered, just like the doctor that he was.

“
Is that an order, Dr. Blake?” I asked.

“
It is an order, Miss Morgan.  Now I’m going to order you to undress,” he said as he began to undress me. “And now I’m going to treat you with my special home remedy,” he said as he finished undressing me.  He began to kiss me with his soft, warm lips.  I wasn’t sure if the house was really warm, but I was feeling very hot with Alex on top of me, kissing me passionately.  His lips moved to my neck and shoulders, then made their way back to my lips.  His middle finger made its’ way into my mouth, “Wet it,” he commanded.  I did as he asked.  After his finger was nice and wet, he removed it and slowly inserted it into me, gently penetrating in and out.  He added another finger and gently worked both fingers in and out of me as he continued to kiss me, but harder this time and more passionately, as his fingers went deeper and deeper. 

“
Turn over,” he commanded.  My eyes widened.  What did he mean by ‘turn over’?  I didn’t want to have anal sex.  I wasn’t ready or in the mood to try that.  I didn’t turn over.

“
Turn over, baby,” he commanded again.

“
No, Alex,” I hesitated.

“
I’m not going to do what you think.  Turn over,” he repeated.  “I want you on all fours,” he added.

I turned over onto my stomach very slowly and got on all fours as Alex had asked me to do.  Alex came from behind me and I felt his
erection penetrate inside me as he held onto my hips and quickened his thrusts.  His hands moved to my breasts as he grabbed and caressed them, exciting me more and more.  His thrusts were deeper and deeper and his erection felt even deeper this time, sending a tingling sensation all the way to the pit of my stomach.  I moaned as he quickened his pace even more.

“
You like this don’t you?” he asked.

“
Deeper, Alex,” I commanded.

He penetrated deeper and deeper sending me into a huge climax as I could no longer control myself and moaned loudly.  I was weak and exhausted from the intensity of that orgasm.  Alex took a bit longer
, but groaned loudly as he came.  I was so spent that I couldn’t move.  I wasn’t sure if I would leave that bed after that lovemaking session.  Alex was on his back and looked as though he felt the same way as I did.  He took my hand and kissed it softly.

“
I love you, Claire.  I’m so glad you’re back,” he said, genuinely.

“
I love you, too.  It feels good to be back,” I replied, smiling.  “Can I ask you a question?” I asked.

“
Ask me anything.  No more secrets,” he replied.

“
I recall you making me promise that I would never leave you for another man.  Were you afraid that it was going to happen all over again?  I mean, did you think I may have cheated on you as Angela had done?” I asked.

“
Honestly, I’m still afraid of that.  That fear has not gone away.  I think it’s just going to take time, that’s all,” he replied.

“
Alex, I want you to know that I would
never
in a million years cheat on you.  You have to get that out of your head.  If I wanted to be in a relationship with someone else, I would break it off with you first,” I assured.

“
I know, baby.  I trust you.  I really do and I know you are different,” he replied.  We both didn’t want to get out of that bed.  I didn’t know if it was due to the lack of sleep the night before, but I was very sleepy.  Alex seemed sleepy as well, since he was awake most of the night taking care of me and nursing me back to health.  With our bodies entwined together like ivy leaves, we both drifted off into the land of sleep.

<><><>

It was approximately three o’clock in the afternoon when Alex and I decided to get out of bed and eat something.  He made a turkey sandwich and a salad and we sat down and ate together and enjoyed the beautiful, cold, but sunny afternoon.  I was feeling so much better as if I hadn’t even been sick the night before.  When Alex looked outside, the bright sun made his eyes look bluer than ever.  I couldn’t help but wonder how a man as handsome and wholehearted as he could love me so much.  It was confirmed that I was one lucky woman and I knew Taryn was going to hate me all over again when she found out that Alex and I were back together. I asked Alex if he wanted to stay at my place for the week.

“
I thought you’d never ask,” he said, his eyes brightening.

“
It’s been very difficult sleeping without you next to me.  I was sleeping on the sofa downstairs for a few weeks after our split.  It took a long time to make it through an entire night in my bed alone,” I confessed.

“
It’s interesting that you say that, Claire, as I have spent most nights on the couch also.  It took many glasses of scotch to get me through those nights,” he said, looking down.

“
And it took me quite a few bottles of wine,” I laughed.

Alex took my hand into his
as an idea popped into his mind. “Let’s make a promise to one another.  No matter how bad things are or how angry we are at one another, we will never sleep apart,” he said.

“
I like that promise,” I replied.

“
Let’s seal that promise with a kiss,” he said and leaned over and kissed me softly on my lips.

After we were finished eating, I cleaned up the kitchen as much as I could
, since nobody was going to be there during the week.  Alex packed his bag for the week and we headed back to my place in separate cars, since my weekend visit had not been a planned one. 

<><><>

When Alex entered my condo, the first thing he noticed was the missing crystal vase he had gotten for me.  I took it out of its’ hiding place and put it back on the dining table.

“
I put it away because I just couldn’t look at it every day after our break up.  I was so angry that I even thought about throwing it against the wall and breaking it, but I held myself together and just put it out of sight,” I confessed.

Alex walked over to me and held me tightly, my head against his chest.
  “I’m glad you didn’t break it.  I can imagine how you felt, though,” he said kissing me on my forehead.  “It feels so good to be back here, Claire.  I missed being here with you.  You know, I still have your gate remote and house key, right?  Do you know how many times I was tempted to come here and surprise you with flowers and beg you to listen to what I had to say?  I refrained in fear that you may push me away further and decline my request to hear me out.  I made it as far as the front door, but ended up leaving each time,” he said.

I knew Alex still had the keys and gate remote.  Maybe in the back of my mind I wanted him to pay me a surprise visit.  I didn’t know why I never asked him to return those items when I returned all of his belongings to him that
rainy Sunday I had met Angela.

“
Claire, what triggered your visit to me on Friday night in all that rain?  Why the sudden curiosity about my story?” he asked.

“
You can thank your sister for that.  If it wasn’t for her fashion show invitation for next month, I still wouldn’t have known that you and Angela are getting a divorce and that she’s not dying from cancer,” I explained.

“
I better get her a very nice Christmas gift,” he said as we both laughed.

Alex kept reminding me of my birthday the following weekend.  I told him that I really did not want anything and I was the happiest girl in the world to have him in my life.  As long as Alex and I were together, I would forfeit every birthday and Christmas p
resent for as long as I lived.

I didn’t know when or how I was going to tell
my family and friends about him.  I felt nervous, as Calvin had been before coming out of the closet.  I would have to tell my mother first, since I knew my father wouldn’t take it as easily and be as understanding as she would.

Alex followed me upstairs to my bedroom
, where I got my duffle bag ready with my dance clothing for the following evening.  He looked a bit uncomfortable because he knew Stefano was my dance instructor.  I could tell he wanted to say or ask something, but he was holding back.

“
Maybe I will go to the gym after work tomorrow, since you have a dance class.  That way we will both be home at approximately the same time.  What time do you usually get home after dance?” he asked.

“
I’m usually home by eight,” I replied.  I continued to try and read him, but it was difficult to tell whether he was upset or unhappy or fine with the fact that I would be in dance class four nights a week. 

“
Do me a favor, Claire.  Don’t fall in love with your dance instructor,” he grinned.  It was nice to hear humor in his voice.

“
It’s too late for that because I’ve already fallen in love with you,” I said, smiling as I gave him a big kiss.  I couldn’t wait to take a shower and slip into my own pajamas.  Alex’s t-shirts had been very comfortable, but I really missed my pajamas.

After our shower, I dried my hair and he
aded downstairs to make some hot cocoa.  Alex started the fire in the fireplace and I joined him on the sofa, so we could enjoy our evening sipping on cocoa.  We caught up on the things that had happened in our lives during the time we had split up.  I told Alex about Calvin and his jaw dropped just as mine had when Calvin first told me he was gay.