PUSH: Ultra Alpha MMA Badboy Mafia Romance (Southside Brotherhood Book 2) (31 page)

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Flynn went completely deaf as he spun her around and around, tracing his hands up and down. He could feel her body quivering, her hands shaking and eyes wide.

He needed more than the rain needed the clouds to know she was safe. An enormous branch still scraping up and down from the inertia of the fall just behind her head.

“I’m okay.” She finally whispered toward the ground as Flynn kept inspecting her, his desperation to be sure she was unharmed like captive’s thirst for freedom.

A clap of thunder and a flash of lightening broke the trance, and without asking he lead Lilly at a full run onto the shelter of the covered porch, dragging her by the hand up the steps. His head pounded and he breathed like a beast.

He stared down at her with his brow a deep ‘V’ as he tried to figure out what the fuck just happened.

“Jesus Christ. Why are you here?” Flynn’s voice was angrier than he intended, but the adrenaline was rushing, and the veins in his neck felt ready to burst.

Lilly’s hair looked like melting copper around her face and shoulders as they stood on the porch. Flynn couldn’t stop inspecting her with his eyes to be sure she wasn’t injured. His body screamed and pounded in fury at the multiple reddening scratches and gashes.

“Why are
you
here? Mac gave
me
the key to his place.” Lilly finally spoke and her voice did not hide her own confusion.

“And, why the fuck are you out so late? How are you here? Are you okay, what the fuck is going on?” Flynn fought the urge to move the long, wet tendrils of hair from her freckled cheeks.

This is some bull shit. Why did I fucking ever leave?? She’s got a hold on me still, gotta keep it real. Looking at her is like coming fucking home.

“You’re bleeding.” Lilly pointed, and he noticed her hand was still trembling.

He watched as her eyes traced up from the slow flow of red down his side, then up to the other battle scars from earlier that night.

“I don’t give a shit.” He reached into his pocket, spun and flipped the brass key in the air before catching it and shifting it in the deadbolt on the front door until she heard the ‘thunk’ of the lock.

“Where’d you get that?”

“Get your ass inside.” He was done playing his mood shifted and there was work to be done.

Whatever this was.

Divine intervention.

Cosmic justice.

He wasn't going to fuck it up.

Opportunity was fucking knocking and he wasn’t going to just open the door he was going to kick it down.

They were here, and everything else disappeared except the thoughts and images of when he’d laid claim to her only a week ago. Her blood streaked on his cock, and he’d felt her world rest on his shoulders.

It was the feeling of finding your place, knowing why you were fucking born, and it was back with a vengeance.

Inside the cabin, the air was stale, closed up for too long. It wasn’t necessarily unpleasant, just sad. Like a child’s abandoned toy.

But, after a moment, Flynn took a deep breath and he caught a soft scent from the cedar walls. The unused furniture looked like ghostly apparitions, all covered with white sheets and tarps.

He could see Lilly soaking wet and shivering, glints of glass still tucked into her wet hair. A few pieces rested on her shoulder like diamonds, and he couldn’t help but reach over to brush them away.

Flynn walked to the biggest of the covered pieces of furniture and flipped the covering off onto the pine floor to reveal a well-worn leather sofa underneath, complete with a few throw pillows still in place and a perfectly folded red, yellow and blue striped wool throw right out of the Land’s End catalog.

He snapped the blanket up and opened it like a wool parachute and settled it around her shoulders.

“Stand still.”

He started to pinch and flick the remaining glass out of her hair.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Lilly fluttered her hand around his as he worked.

“
Stand still
.” He clamped his hand down on her upper arm, hard enough that he heard the little wince.

“Now, while you are standing still, get to telling me about why the fuck you are out in the middle of the damn night? Does Colin know where you are?”

“He’s gone, somewhere. He said he was giving me more freedom, so I took it. I just needed to be somewhere else, and I thought I had the key. How do you have it?”

“I took it when you — when I left. It was on the sink, and I grabbed it before I smashed your glass in the tub.”

“Why?”

Flynn didn’t bother answering. He didn’t know why at the time he stuffed the key in his pocket, he just knew he was not leaving that key there with her.

Her green eyes flickered in the crease of dim light that streaked through one window. The near full silver moon had reappeared from behind the clouds. The storm taking its chaos and moving on. He felt his gut clench and as though some damn alarm clock went off, his cock decided to wake the fuck up.

“Sit.” Flynn’s fingers stayed steady around her arm as he gently edged her back onto the sofa.

It took her a good fifteen seconds, but she finally moved, Flynn’s hand still in place.

Just then, as she took her seat in front of him, he thought of the conversations he’d had with himself in the last week. The ones that told him he didn’t feel anything for her. It was just a mirage. A lapse.

Now, he realized that deciding not to feel something was very different from not feeling it. Telling yourself you don’t feel and turning that shit off are two very fucking different things.

“All right, no bullshit. Why’d you come here?”

Flynn gripped the top edge of the blanket, raised it up and tousled some of the rain from her hair.

He could feel his muscles tightening as he leaned into her, lowering himself to crouch in front of her, eye to eye.

He wanted to consume her, to let her know how it felt so wrong to be away. He wanted to scream and tell her everything that swirled like a hurricane inside.

How could she have him so tightly wound? One look and all he could think about was binding to her, protecting her and taking everything that was bad from her life.

“I just — I don’t know.” She tugged on her sweater, her arms moving around her waist. “I didn’t want to go back there and — I just needed to be here, I guess. I know what happened between us couldn’t last. I did. It was stupid of me to start it. But, you did something to me and as much as I tell myself there’s nothing, it’s still there. Something gnawing
– itching --
telling me I caught a glimpse of something I’d never known or even thought about before. And, I guess I wanted to come here because this place was almost something for us, something that would have been special. It’s stupid.” She shook her head and shrugged.

“It’s not fucking stupid; you know how I know?”

“No. How?”

“Because my ass is here too, isn’t it?” He flashed a perfect, white smile and had to shift his position because when she smiled back, the discomfort inside his pants went up a notch.

“But, I don’t know what you want from me. I mean, I’m what I am and you are you. You can’t tell me there is not a mismatch there? Oh, and Gideon told me something, that you did this just to get at your dad. So, I knew it wasn’t real.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Did those fucking words just come out of your mouth?”

The hurricane inside him whipped up and his eye started to twitch.

“Well? Did you?” Lilly’s voice was crisp. “Was I just some way to get back at your dad? I mean, be honest, if you were me, it makes sense, doesn’t it?”

When he got like this, it usually meant someone was going to end up on the floor with blood coming out of at least one orifice. His hands started shaking, and he forced himself to take a long slow breath.

Lilly’s eyes didn’t waiver; she was taunting the beast.

“Are you done?” Flynn finally felt enough in control to speak.

Take the high road, man. Breathe, focus. Discipline. You’ve got it, and she needs it. Give her what she needs, not what she wants. She wants a damn fight, and she needs so much more. Don’t fail her and retreat. Tell her she belongs to you and this shit isn’t going to fly.

“No, I’m not, because you aren’t answering my question.” She squared off, and Flynn’s cock got in the game, screaming from below as she bit down on her lip.

Fuck, I don’t know whether I should fuck her until the only word she knows is ‘harder’ or get her ass over my knee. Probably both.

“That’s fucking enough.” Flynn felt the throb of her pulse as his hand cranked around her neck. “Don’t talk to me like that. Look me in the eye and tell me you honestly think I would have been with you just to get back at that fuck.
Look. At. Me.
”

“Let go.” Her dove soft hands raised to grasp onto his wrist as he held steady around her throat. Only she didn’t try to pull his hand away, she showed no fear.

“I’m not fucking hurting you. I’m focusing you. Answer the damn question. I’m not backing down. Answer.”

He watched her eyes blink twice, she looked away, then back. Her tongue tracing out across her lips, and he felt her shift under his grasp. Within those ten seconds, she turned from granite to supple flesh.

Hold. Give her the time. She’s coming, give her the freedom to tell you the truth. Easy, steady on this one. She’s fragile but she needs you. Don't let her down.

“No. You wouldn’t do that,” she whispered, and her hands loosened, then moved from where they gripped his wrist to lay warm on his forearm.

He kept perfectly still, breathing in time with her as he felt the increase in her pulse under his palm. His ravaged hands were still able to feel her subtle changes in heat and pulse.

Down south orders were being called out but it wasn’t about him. It was going to be about her, and then, when she realized that it was, she would come to him willingly and on her knees.

“That’s right. We are more than the sum of our parts, Lilly. I’ve fucking known that since that first night. I don’t know why, but you’re here now and I’m not letting us go again. I’m not. But you’ve got to promise me…”

He moved his thumb under her chin, reveling in the translucent softness that was her. Watching as she raised her head slightly, her breath taking a low gasp and Flynn angled his body and moved closer until he felt the warmth of her exhale.

“Promise what?”

“Don’t ever fucking lie to me. I know you, Lilly, and you are more than I ever dreamed of having with someone already. But, if you lie, you break that — we will have a big damn issue, got it? I’ve lived my entire fucking life with liars and cheats, and I won’t have it. Understand?”

Her eyes darted over his face as he moved his hand to the back of her neck, the soft waves of her hair still damp from the storm.

She breathed, and finally her head moved ever so slightly up and down in agreement.

“Good. No secrets, ever. Yes? You have to say it.”

“Yes. No secrets, no lies. Ever.”

“Good girl. We can work through anything, move forward. But I can’t live with lies. With you hiding things from me.” He locked his fingers in her hair, jerking her head back softly to take her mouth, tongue opening her lips without asking and letting her know she belonged to him again.

For a moment, he realized he needed nothing but her breath.

He walked a fine line between wanting to fuck that golden green from her eyes and taking her with a slow hand, guiding her and professing to her all the ways he would make her scream and how much her soul felt like his responsibility. His mantle.

Thinking with his brain right now was near impossible, but he fought his base urges and tried to think of what she needed from him.

Her tongue wound with his until their breath and the sound of the wetness of the kiss drove Flynn into a near rage. Both his hands worked to the roots of her hair and tugged her back, biting her lip until she yelped.

“Owwww.”

“I’m staking my fucking claim, do you understand what that means?”

“You’re a gold miner?” Lilly’s eyes sparkled, and Flynn fought back the laugh.

“Stop. No fucking around.” He loosened his grip in her hair; this moment was too important. He needed her willingly, without negotiation, without her little smartass defenses.

His gut felt like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. Her face was warm and blushed, and his head and dick were fighting for control of the moment. But what he needed right now was her mind not her body.

“Think of that night when we had dinner, and my dad invited the Henderson’s? You came down the stairs in that gown and heels?”

“Yeah. I felt like an idiot. I’d never dressed like that. Your dad made me.”

“You’d been here, what, four weeks, maybe?”

Lilly nodded as Flynn let her hair go then stood over her, looking down, then as he moved the dust-covered coffee table closer and took a seat. His knees opened around hers, scooting as close as he could, staring right into the melting green of her eyes.