Pushing Limits (24 page)

“I agree,” Aunt Patty says.

“Can we get some shots of Patron over here?”  Sally says to the
waiter.

“Sure,” the waiter says with a broad grin.

“Can you make it doubles?” She says, her eyes twinkling.

“Will do.”  He walks over to the bar to place our order and returns
a few moments later with shots.

Sally salts her hand and raises her glass and says, “To dumbasses
everywhere.” She slams the shot and sucks the lime for dear life. 

“To dumbasses.”  I slam my shot not bothering with the salt or that
pesky lime. 

Aunt Patty yells, “To dumbasses.”   She slams her shot and
yells, “Oh yeah!”   Erupting into a fit of giggles like a drunken
college kid. 

Sally says, “Amber, you should text him and say ‘What the fuck?’”

“Ok, before you put me on this crazy train again,” I say pointing a
finger at Sally, “I am stowing my phone in my back pocket where you can’t get
your filthy mitts on it.  Just in case you plan on texting him like you
did last time.”

“Hey, if I hadn’t texted him for you, you know you would have never done
it yourself.”  She flicks her chin at me.  “Admit it.”

“Ok, well that may be, but I don’t need you to do it again.  He said
give him time.  Well he can take all the time he wants, and if I’m over it
when he finally gets his ass in gear, that’ll be off on him.”  Scanning
the room for the waiter, I say as he walks up, “We need more shots. 
Another ‘round, doubles please.”

The waiter brings over a round of doubles.  This time, I don’t wait
for a toast, I shoot mine. 
Dumbass.  We had a good thing. 
If he doesn’t realize that, well, screw him
.  “The thing that sucks is
I know he felt something, too.  I kept saying he wanted to know me. 
Fucking
Lily.
   He should have known I wouldn’t do that to him.  He
should have trusted me.  Damn it, he should have let me explain.”  I
am pissed now.  “Fuck this shit.  Let’s talk about something else.”

“O-okay,” Sally says, glancing at Aunt Patty.  “You need to
chill.  Why don’t we head on over to Hippie Hollow, and we can bake in the
sun.”

“Hippie Hollow?  That sounds like my kind of place.”  Aunt
Patty flashes an excited smile.  “I wish we had a joint.”

“What?” Sally says, turning abruptly to my aunt.

“Hey, haven’t you ever smoked a joint and lay on a raft in the
water?  Bobbing up and down, enjoying the sun, the feel of your skin
baking.  It’s so peaceful.”

Sally looks at me and giggles as I roll my eyes.  Why did I have to
start thinking about him again?  The idea of spending the rest of the day
watching Sally and my Aunt butt naked doesn’t exactly improve my mood.

“It’s a clothing optional park,” I say with a slight frown.  I hope
that’s all I have to say to put her off.  Please, God, let that turn her
off.

“A nudist park?  You have one here?” she asks, her eye brows
lifting.

“Yeah.  It’s supposed to be serene.  It’s out on the
lake.  The entire park has water all around it.  It’s actually down
the road,” she says with a wicked grin.

“I have no desire to see your junk, Aunt Patty,” I say, hoping to deter
her.

“Oh, come on,” Sally says with mock disgust, “She’s the guest.  She
should decide.” 

“So, I can keep my bikini on if I want?” Aunt Patty asks.

“Yup, clothing optional,” Sally says.

“Let’s go.”  Aunt Patty leans forward, steadying herself with a
giggle.  “Can we walk?  I don’t think anyone is capable of driving.”

“I think so.  Let’s ask the waiter,” Sally says, gesturing him over.

“Another ‘round?” he asks.

“No, we were wondering if Hippie Hollow was close enough to walk
to.  We shouldn’t be driving, and we were going to check it out.”

“It’s about a mile and a half down the road.  You could walk, take
Comanche Trail, and you’ll see the sign.”

Sally pays the check, and we take one last shot for the road. 
Staggering out the door, smiling and laughing about any stupid thing, we walk
the mile or so to the sign designating McGregor/Hippie Hollow Park.  The
entrance is lined with trees, and the trail leads down to the lake past a guard
shack.  I know we’re not in Kansas anymore when we pass a sign reading,
“Notice:  Nude swimming or sunbathing may be occurring beyond this point.” 

Sally giggles and says, “Come on.”

The buzz is definitely kicking in, and I am caring less and less about
the clothing optional issue.   The trail is rockier as we get closer
to the lake. 
One of us is going to fall on our asses if we’re not
careful
. 
I am way too buzzed for this shit.
   We lay
our towels on a flat space near the restrooms.

“Ok, who’s game?” Sally asks expectantly. 

“I think I’ll just lay here.  You go ahead,” I mumble as I drift off
in my drunken stupor.

***

My skin is hot.  Really hot.
 
Shit
.  I look
down and thank God my top is still on.  As I try to focus my eyes I notice
the top half of my body is pink. 
Shit
.  That means in a few
hours, I’m going to be in pain. 
I’m burnt to a crisp
. 

I look around my towel for some sunscreen to try to at least limit the
damage and see two bathing suits strewn on top of each other.  I look up,
instantly blinded by the sun hitting the water.  Even with my shades, I
have to shield my eyes. 

As my eyes adjust to the light and scan the horizon, a couple passes in
front of me, fully nude, strolling by, not a care in the world.  My
curiosity gets the best of me, and I glance around to see several topless women
sunbathing, as well as a few men.  More than a few men, actually, there
are a lot of guys.  Some are hot with athletic physiques and others are
not.  Older men, judging by their tans come here a lot.  Not a tan
line among them.

Bouncing out in the water naked as a jay bird is Sally. 
Like
that’s a big fucking surprise
.  I shake my head.  Like that girl
ever manages to keep her clothes on.  However, my aunt’s back looks bare,
but I can’t tell from this distance.  She stands talking to a naked man
with his junk all out there. 
Please don’t turn around.  Please
don’t turn around.

The gods are smiling on me today.  My aunt turns and walks toward me
with her top on.  Thankfully, squashing a crappy visual that would stay
with me forever. 

They both walk up the rocks to reach me smiling.  “You finally
awake, sunshine?” Sally asks.

“Yeah,” I say with what I am sure is a big ass grumpy frown.  “I’m
baked.  I need to go.  What time are we leaving tonight?”

Sally pulls on her bikini top on saying, “Let’s head out about eight for
dinner and hit the bar at nine.”  Tying her top behind her neck, she says,
“The club is over on South Lamar.  Do you want to take a cab?” she asks,
looking at Aunt Patty.

“Yeah, that’ll make it easier on everyone.”  Aunt Patty squeezes the
water from her wet hair.  “Let’s get a limo or something; I’ll order one
when we get back.  It’ll be fun.” 

 “I need to sleep off this raging headache.”  I rub my forehead
hoping the pressure will lessen the annoying pain.  Sadly, it throbs back
to life with a vengeance.  I glance down at my now hot pink chest, “Why
didn’t you wake me up and tell me to put on sunscreen.”

“I tried.” Sally sighs.  “You kept shouting ‘Not happenin’
Westin.’”  Laughing, she swats her arms like she’s defending herself in a
raging girl slap fight.  “You shouted things like, ’Hands off the goods,
Westin,’ and ‘Get a clue, not gonna happen’ in your sleep.”  She uses air
quotes to emphasize the sleep.  “I thought if I pushed any harder I’d get
arrested.”

I look at Aunt Patty, and she says, “Yeah, after that I wasn’t about to
try.  I thought you were going to make contact for sure.”  She
giggles.  “No more tequila today, ok?”

“Ok,
mom
,” I say sarcastically, “Can we head out now?”

Aunt Patty looks away out over the lake and I am instantly sorry since I
obviously hurt her feelings. 

“Hey, I was just kidding,” I say, stroking her arm.

“I know.”  She smiles.  “It’s ok.”  She stands and gathers
her towel.  We take her hint, and climbing through the rocks back to the
road as the sun begins to set over the horizon.

“Wake up, sweetie.”  Sally nudges me gradually, easing me
awake. 

The cool sheets and billowy pillows beckon me to stay as my eyes flutter
open.  “Damn, this bed rocks.”  I groan, “I don’t want to go. 
You guys go without me.”

“You’re going.  You promised.  It’s almost eight so time to get
up and get ready.  The mini bar has anything you could want to drink or
munch on, or I can order room service.  I picked out your outfit.  I
hope that’s ok.”

“I’m sure you could barely contain yourself.”  I chuckle, knowing
full well, I am merely Sally’s own personal Barbie doll.  The clothes are
laid on the bed.  “I like your choices as usual.  You definitely make
it idiot proof, don’t cha?”  I glance over my old blue jeans that she has
ripped holes in, almost completely obliterating the right knee.  The tank
is not mine.  “Where did the tank come from?”  I ask.

“I got it in the gift shop downstairs.  Do you like it?”

“I think you picked up a child’s t-shirt, Sally,” I say dryly, eyeing her
with a skeptical sneer.  The tank is actually a cute Willie Nelson black
tank, but its uber tiny, showing my abs and parts of the bra.

“Just put it on.  It’ll look good with the cross and your
boots.  I promise you’ll be comfortable,” she says beaming. 

She really gets off on this fashion shit.  Damn shame she can’t
tell her family to fuck off and do it for a living.
 

“Ok, but if my nipples show, I’m gonna change,” I grumble, walking into
the impressive bathroom of our suite complete with a four person shower with
Jacuzzi tub.  The tub calls to me, but I know Sally will be pounding on
the door if I linger so I start the water in the shower.  The raindrop
shower head has good pressure, and I step in expecting a relaxing pelt. 
My sunburned back screams, I look down and notice the bright red skin
highlighting the white triangles covering my bits.  I must have turned
over in my sleep. 
Thank God.
  Only one red side and I would
look like an idiot.  Not that I don’t.  Shit.  Who passes out in
the sun?  I wash my body as best I can, trying to stay away from the
pelting water.

Finally successfully bathed, I step out of the shower, grateful that for
once I am alone, and Sally’s not barging in.  I study my face in the
mirror, thankful the sun did not burn in delightful raccoon circles from my
sunglasses.  My face has a nice golden pink tone.  I must have spent more
of my time on my back.  I do my hair and makeup, blow out my hair. 
Why bother doing some elaborate style?  It’s not like I plan on meeting
anyone. 
Snap out of it!
  I have to pull myself out of this
funk.  Damn it.  This is what talking does, makes it harder to push
down the garbage.  

I stare at my blue eyes, noticing their sadness.  I sigh, as I apply
my eye makeup.  
Fuck it.
  Maybe I should pick someone up
tonight just to wash away any memories of what I’ll never have. 

I open the door and walk out into the suite.  Sally is noticeably
missing.  My phone pings with a text:

I’m up in your aunt’s room – 612. 

I bought some cute lingerie I thought would work with the
outfit. 

It’s in the bag.  Don’t argue just put it on.

I open the bag with the hotel logo and pull out a teal demi bra and
panties.  It matches the lettering on the tank perfectly.  The set is
thin enough that everything shows through and lightweight enough so it doesn’t
scratch my sunburn. 
That’s really sweet.

I dress and text Sally:

You ready? 

Are you coming down here or should I come up there?

My phone pings:

We’ll be down in a minute.

Have a drink.  ;)

I make myself a Jack and Coke and sit on the expansive couch overlooking
a view of downtown Austin.  The lights of the city twinkle in the distance
illuminating the dark sky. 

How did I lose him?  I did everything he ever asked me to do. 
I let him in.  Why couldn’t he give me a chance to explain?  Why
couldn’t he give me a chance at all?  

As I take a sip of my drink, I try to push out these fucking maddening
feelings. 
Damn him.
  Why couldn’t he just leave me
alone?  If he left me alone and never asked me out, I could be having the
time of my life, hanging out with Sally, and partying my ass off.  But,
no, he had to keep pushing and fucking with my head.  
No more. 
Fuck this shit.  Screw him
. 

I play with my phone.  Checking my e-mail, I delete all the junk
mail that has come in.  I delete all the unwanted texts from my phone,
hovering on Tommy’s.  I scan the old texts and smile at the responses back
and forth.  Pressing the edit button, I’m tempted to delete them
all.  Instead a single tear falls down my face, as I hit the cancel
button.  Unwilling to let go.

I type a text:

I don’t know why I haven’t heard from you.

Or why you haven’t at least listened to my
explanation. 

Maybe you’ve moved on.  I don’t know. 

I “gave you time” and it’s been weeks and
nothing.   

I’m done waiting.  Goodbye.

I hear the lock disengage, and Sally walks into the room with my aunt
behind her.  She asks, “
What
are you
doin’?”  Her face has a strange look to it.

“I wrote a text to Tommy and I was about to send it,” I say, looking at
my phone.  “I need to stop this.  I can’t wait around for him to call
for the rest of my life.  I have to let him go.” 

I reread the text for the tenth time since I typed it.
I don’t know
why I’m hesitating.  I need to move on.

Sally snatches my phone out of my hand saying, “Let me see.”  She
reads it and lays her thumb on what I assume is the backspace button until the
text is gone and hands the phone back to me.  “You are not going to text
him that you’re done.  You are going to pull up your big girl panties and
talk to him face-to-face.  Can we take tonight off, ok?  You can text
him tomorrow and see if y’all can meet up…then you can tell him he’s an
asshole.”

“I want to get it over with.  I want to move on.”

“We both know you aren’t going to pick up anyone in a bar.  You’re
not built that way so quit acting like you want to.   Now, getting
your drunk on?  That’s a different matter completely.”

“I don’t know if I can drink anymore after all those margaritas.”

“Uh, Amber, honey, you’re holding a glass of Jack.  I can smell it
from here.”  My aunt politely reminds me. 

“Wow, you look really cute.”  I look over Aunt Patty’s outfit with
an appreciative glance at Sally.  “Did the queen of the runway dress you,
too?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Aunt Patty says, twirling the skirt of the teal blue
dress.  “I’ve had this dress forever.  I don’t even know why I
brought it.  Sally saw my boots and the jean jacket I brought and put it
together.  Cute, huh?”

“Very.   Are we ready to go?”  I ask.  “Where are we
eating?”

“Let’s go to Top Notch.”  Sally suggests.  “It’s a really good
hamburger joint near the club.  It’s actually famous.  It’s featured
in that old movie,
Dazed and Confused
with Mathew
McConaughey
. 
The whole movie takes place in Austin, actually.”

“We should spark a
doob
and watch it this
week,” Aunt Patty says, her pale green eyes full of mischief.

“Aunt Patty!”  My eyes pop open.

“Wow, Amber, you’re aunt’s a little party girl,” Sally says.

“Oh my God.”  I groan.  “Let’s go.”  I shake my head, a
smile spreads over my lips. 
Yeah, she’s pretty cool.

The elevator carries us to the lobby.  Walking across it, Sally
leads the way chatting up my aunt.  I don’t know why I would think she
would go for an understated outfit.  In cutoffs and boots, her breasts
strain to stay in her white t-shirt.  Complete with a straw cowboy hat,
her blond hair tied into a braid down her back.

The driver opens the door, and we climb in.  Sally checks out the
bar in the car and pours us some whiskey.  She hands me a tumbler.
 “Hair of the dog, honey.  You should stick with whiskey tonight
anyway.”

“So, what’s the name of the band we’re hearing tonight?”

Sally glances at Aunt Patty saying, “My friend sends me these invites
when they play.  I think their name is Route Forty Band.  They
haven’t played in a while, but they’re good.  I hope y’all like ‘em.”

With a broad smile, Aunt Patty’s eyes are lit with strange
excitement.  She looks much younger than her age.   I think
Sally did her makeup, too.  She doesn’t wear much usually, but Sally has
managed to play up her pretty sea green eyes and high cheekbones.  I guess
someone is planning on getting lucky tonight.  I grimace at the
thought.  Glancing at her again, I smile at her excitement.  She
looks so happy.  Her pretty face beams and has been kissed by the
sun.  I bet she’ll have to beat them off with a stick tonight.

“I’m sure we will, honey.”  Turning to Sally, she asks, “Is the
restaurant much further?  I’m starving.”

“It’s only about fifteen minutes up Mopac.  We should be there soon
depending on traffic.  So, Patty, what do you do for a living?” Sally
says.

“I work in a finance department at American Greetings.”  Aunt Patty
plays with her skirt with her hands.  “I’ve been with them for almost
fifteen years.  I started as an accounting clerk and worked my way up to
an accountant.”

“That’s great.  I know you’re single, obviously.  Have you ever
been married?” Sally asks.

I cringe at the question and wait for Aunt Patty’s explanation of what
happened between her and my uncle.  I never knew the guy really. 
Aunt Patty and he were divorced when I was three.

“Yes, I was married for three years to a guy who I thought was a nice
guy.  We had been friends for a while and we got along well.  He
wasn’t the love of my life, but he was a nice man.”  Her sweet smile never
touches her eyes as she continues, “When my mom kicked me out, I floundered for
a while trying to get a job.  I didn’t want to stay in Chicago so I moved
to Cleveland.  I had a girlfriend there, and she told me I could live with
her until I got on my feet.  Cleveland was fine.  Hell, anywhere
would have been fine as long as it wasn’t Chicago.”  Her voice hardens as
she looks out the limo window.

Sally’s eyes shine with a kindness that surprises me.  She squeezes
her hand.  “That must have been hard.  I can’t imagine.”

Aunt Patty’s face relaxes and she smiles at Sally.  “Thanks. 
You know you girls remind me a lot of Marion and me,” she says looking between
us, a new awareness passes over her face.   “When I met her in
boarding school, we were instant friends.  She’s still a close friend, and
I’m thankful every day that she let me stay with her.”  She sighs and
perks up with a smile, taking a sip of her drink.  “Anyway, when I moved
there I found a job as an accounting clerk in a manufacturing company, and
that’s where I met Larry.  He worked in manufacturing as a technician. 
We dated, got married, and bought a house.”

“What went wrong?” Sally asks.  I shoot her a warning glance, but in
typical Sally-fashion, she asks, “What?”  A look of compete confusion on
her face.

“It’s ok, Amber,” my aunt says with a worried glance.  Taking a deep
breath, she says, “I caught him in bed with my co-worker.  I kicked him
out, and we divorced.  I was hurt, but all-in-all it was an amicable
split.  We weren’t
in
love.  We had fun together, got along
well, and the sex was great.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t a good enough
reason to get married.  It was one of those, get married or break up
things.  We chose to get married, but we probably should have broken up
instead.”  She smiles wistfully.

My jaw drops and my eyes pop open.  “That is not what mom told
me.  Not at all.  She said he was the love of your life and that’s
why Grandmother kicked you out.  You were in love with him, and
Grandmother didn’t approve so you ran off with him.”

“Well, my mother didn’t approve of him.”  Her lips purse, as her
eyes cloud over.  “That’s no surprise.  But, neither is your mom’s
spin on the past.  But, no, I didn’t leave because of him,” she says,
staring out the window.

“Why did you leave?” I ask.

“Your grandmother and I disagreed on everything.  Guys I
dated.  What I did.  She didn’t have to try hard to find a reason to
kick me out.”  My aunt shrugs and in a total about face subject change,
her face brightens.  “We’re here.  Wow, I’m famished.  Let’s
eat!”

The car pulls into the parking lot the bright colorful sign with a
hamburger in top boasts charcoal hamburgers, fried chicken, and
shrimp.   A smaller sign below says “carhop open ‘til 10 pm.” 
The parking lot holds a square unassuming brick building and several car parks
with old fashioned stalls covered in a red awning to park in and make your
order. As we go in, the delicious aroma hits us as we open the door and
continues to assault us while we wait to be seated.  The mouthwatering
scent of hamburgers on a grill and crisp French fries waiting to be served has
my stomach doing backflips.  I didn’t realize how hungry I was. 

We all order burgers, fries, and cokes.  The booth is spacious and
dark red, as is most of the restaurant interior.  The menus and signs tote
an old fashioned.  When you sit in the Top Notch, you feel the
history.  According to the cashier, it’s been around since 1971.  The
cashier calls our number, and I collect our burgers and fries housed in paper
baskets with paper liners.

We all dig in and for once, I am not the only one making delighted noises
about the food.  We chat about our favorite country artists.  I can’t
say I had a lot to contribute to the conversation, but it’s not like I’ve
listened to a lot of country.  I know a few artists.  I’m open to
experiencing more.  The thought makes my heart hurt.  I would have
liked Tommy to open up this whole genre of music for me. 
I guess that
wasn’t in the cards…moving on.