Queen (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (54 page)

“Regina, are you all right?” Marcus asks
in concern with a calm voice.

“Peachy,” I use bravado to h
ide the trembling in my voice.

“I’m sorry,” h
e says miserably.
“For what?”

“For scaring you,” he replies. But it’s not good enough. He has so many things he should apologize for.

He tugs me forward and presses me down to the floorboard until I’m kneeling between his feet. The bag is raised and I sigh in relief.

I stare into his whiskey eyes. They’re usually warm amber with flecks of gold and bronze swirling around, tonight they darken to chocolate.

“What did I do?” I sound meek, but determination laces my voice.

“I brought this.” He shows me the scarf I used on Fate to control her breathing. “It was one of my proudest moments watching you with her. You were wonderful.” I shoul
d have known he’d be watching.

“What did I do to garner your disappointment?” I ask again in a new way.
“I will use this tonight to blind you. It will be very pretty with your new haircut.” His fingers sweep my hair and he sighs. “It suits you. And your hair is not ugly.”

I’m blinded as the scarf is pulled taut over my eyes and knotted in the back.

I wait minutes while he doesn’t speak or move. The only sound is his labored breath. And then a sound I would recognize anywhere- a zipper being drawn.

Something moist taps my bottom lip. My tongue darts out on its own and tastes. I don’t know what he’s doing or why, but it’s definitely Marc’s ambrosia on my lip. I shudder from the earthy taste.

He pushes his length between my parted lips and palms the back of my head. I wait for the skullfuckage to begin. He’s angry with me and he’s finally giving me my punishment. I want to cry.

When I start to move my mouth vigorously up the column of his cock, he murmurs, “Slowly.”

I calm and give him a blowjob how I’m accustomed. I gently suck him and explore him with my tongue and lips. I scrap my teeth tenderly over his head and he bows against the seat. I wish I could see what his facial expression looks like.

“I’ve often wondered what it would be like to enjoy this with someone. My first blowjob was when I was still a virgin. I was sleeping. I thought I was dreaming a wet dream, as most young men often do. I woke as I came. I glanced down horrified to find out it was no dream. My next experience was when I was training with my Master. She would tie me down and force her whores on me. I learned to not like the act. It was an act of humiliation, of submission. It’s different with Cort. It can be punishment or it can be tender, but more often than not it’s punishment. It’s my punishment- not his. Tender is for his reward,” he finally admits the truth of why he doesn’t participate in oral sex. My heart aches for him, especially for the lost tone in his voice.

“I love your mouth on me,” he throatily moans. “I knew I would. I was just frightened,” he admits the one thing that all dominants don’t acknowledge. We’re to be strong at all times. We have people who count on us. We can’t be scared because who will help us.  

Tears stream down my face as I give him pleasure. I can tell he’s fighting for control- control over his fears. I’m shocked as much as I am pained to know that Marcus has endured rape. It explains so much, and yet, so very littl
e of the man I call my Master.

“I apologize, Regina. I was angry and hurt. I received information and my pride got the better of me. I was told that you’d been intimate with Roman. It took me two months not to kill him. This morning I worked up the courage and asked him and he denied it. I then asked you on Jamie’s phone and you denied it. You both responded with the exact same thing. I was leery of your reply. I didn’t believe you until I saw your face and heard you speak with Cort. I’m sorry,” he apologizes for the second time tonight. Marcus is a man who never apologizes. 

I begin to cry in earnest. I pull from him and sob. I rest my face on his thigh as pain wracks my body.

“You didn’t trust me enough to come to me and ask. You should have trusted me enough to know that I’d never betray you. You’re to be my ally, partner, lover, friend, and Master, but you will not afford me the same respect. I can’t trust you and your reactions any more, Marcus. When have I ever been an
ything other than honorable?” 

“I can’t think clearly around you. I lose all focus and that isn’t a good thing. It scares me,” he whispers so quietly I’m not sure I heard him. 

“That’s just an excuse to act badly. You’re our Master. You need to think things through better than this. Who said this of me?”

“I’ll tell you after your initiation. I don’t want to ruin it for you. I’m rewarding all of us in apology for how atrocious I’ve behaved. Please take me back into your body. I need you. I need you to forgive me even if it’s just a lie,” he begs me.

“I’ve trusted you implicitly. I’ve never given you a reason not to trust me, Marcus. I need to know that this won’t happen again. I’ve had a difficult two months. The loneliness killed me. I can’t do this again. I won’t forget, but I will try to forgive. You have to tell me why you didn’t ask me immediately, though, or I won’t let you off the hook. You won’t be able to respect me and I won’t respect myself if I allow you to treat me as garbage.” 

He’s quiet for a few minutes. I can hear his breathing and Cort’s movements as he tries to get comfortable by leaning against the outside of the SUV. I know he can hear us in here as well. It’s strange that out of all the people that are waiting inside Restraint’s dungeon right now, Marc chose Cortez as his right-hand man. I’d thought that Marcus was conditioning me to be the one that stood next to him. He can rely on me, but apparently I can’t rely on him.

“I’ll be honest. I know what you’re thinking of right now and stop it. I do trust you. It wasn’t trust that kept me from you, okay.” He sighs heavily.

“I was delaying the inevitable. I knew that nothing happened and if it did, it was because you were overcome by your needs. I’m a selfish bastard who hates sharing. I was able to share with Jamie for many reasons. But Pretty Boy’s formidable. He’s just like his name sake, just not evil. He’s manipulative and cunning. If you deny one request of mine tonight he gets you. I had to use one of his requests so that I didn’t go easy on you. You’ll undoubtedly disobey me when that is asked of you. I don’t like being upstaged, o
utmaneuvered, and controlled.”

“No shit, Marc,” I say snidely and he laugh
s.

“Yeah, well, he plays me like a fiddle. He’s so handsome and innocent. He gazes at you with huge eyes filled respect. He’s friendly, charming, and amusing. When he asks for something, he knows he will get it.  I love him and respect him, but right now I’m a jealous bastard. And I’m cheating by telling you any of this. Don’t deny me tonight. You’ll regret it. You’ll have to come to a balance between the
request versus making love to him. It’s your decision; balance it wisely when it’s presented to you.”

“Why are you so upset?” I ask in
the quiet intimacy of the car.

“I’m going to ask you to do many things and you will think it’s because I don’t see you as mine. I do. You are mine,” he growls. “I need to cushion the blow of you making love to him. I don’t want to watch, but
I can’t not watch either. I know you’ll be in my family’s room with him between your legs before morning falls. I’ve known it since he brought it up and I can’t change fate.”

“How big a part in the game does he play?” I know that he wouldn’t allow this to happen with someone that
wasn’t essential to our lives.

“My God you’re intelligent and that’s why I’m in love you,” he laughs to cover his screw-up and my heart swells inside my chest to nearly bursting.

“Yeah, you weren’t supposed to know that yet,” he says bashfully. “His part is huge and I need you by his side for this to work. The amazing thing is I didn’t even have to plant the seed in his mind. He’s been telling me for years that that is his plan. I just don’t know if I can go through with it now. I want to break things when I think of it. It wouldn’t be in the traditional sense. But maybe I dream of that for you with someone else. It doesn’t benefit the game, though.”

“You’re rambling and I have no idea what you’re saying.” I shake my head in mystification
and wish that I could see him.

“You make me ramble. I’m a very self-possessed man when I’m not around you. My head is in my ass the moment you enter my thoughts. You’re my downfall,” he admits. 

“Do you want me to finish what I started?” I want to do it so that I can connect with him on a deeper level.

“No, if you’re not too angry over what’s to come, perhaps you’d do it for me later. Not tonight. I can’t have any sexual contact with anyone. But a few nights from now I’d like to visit your home and spend the night, if that would be okay with you. Don’t say yes until morning. You need to meet two of the Masters. That alone is going to make you want to rip my dick off. I’m sure you’ll hate me by morning.”

“Hold me and let me kiss you for a minute before you’re finally crowned Queen.”

Chapter
Twenty-One

I feel bad that Marcus made them wait as long as he did. He held me for over an hour stalling. He kept saying that I need to trust him and that I’ll enjoy everything he asks of me and that all of it is to bind us. The only pain that would happen is when I disobeyed him and it would be emotional pain.

It’s the first time in my life that I’m experiencing what a jealous boyfriend would be like and I don’t like it. Grant was always hinting that he wanted to do this or that with other people; that he wanted to watch as I had sex with someone else. I now know that that someone else was Marcus. I wonder if Grant were still alive if I would’ve eventually said yes. I can’t go there. It’s too late for that now.

Initiation wasn’t always a hazing. In the beginning it was just Marc and Dexter drinking whiskey and playing cards. Ezra joined them and they continued to do this weekly as they told humorous stories of what happened at Restraint during the week. The change occurred when Cortez and Syn were inducted. I’ve heard stories about this even before I ever stepped foot into Restraint. Ade looked crazed as she recounted parts of the story that Ezra allowed to slip. Cort, trying to frighten me, told me in
greater detail of that night.

Marcus had commanded Cort to have sex with either Ezra or Syn. I don’t know the issue between Syn and Cort, but she punched him in the crotch. With his choices gone, Marcus demanded that Cortez suck Dexter off. Cortez, Dexter, and Syn started a brawl while Marc laughed and Ezra tried to pry them apart. Later he had Syn and Dexter take turns proving their sadistic prowess- Dexter won. Syn didn’t make it out of her initiation unfucked and neither did Cort. Since Syn lost
the
who’s a bigger baddie
challenge, Dexter had the honors of taking her from behind. I guess she didn’t complain. Cortez wasn’t so lucky; he ended the night in tears with his Master comforting him. It didn’t escape my knowledge that it was his Master’s fault for making him cry in the first place. Cortez was forced to make love to Ezra. It was something he’s done countless times, but not since their abduction or in public view. He cried the whole time and Ezra was freaking out. Marc called his son Dr. Zeitler and told them this was their therapy.

After that clusterfuck, everyone was scared shitless of the Pretty Boy’s initiation. I guess it was like the original times. They ate pizza, got drunk, and played poker. Pretty Boy won the game and his reward was Cort jacking him off. Cort didn’t complain, which I found strange. I wonder what Cort did in another life to piss off everyone.

Now it’s my initiation and I know it’s going to be bad. Marcus was shivering in the car. I found his demeanor strange since he was the one in control before. He’s the one calling the shots. He said that it will be fun for all of us, but not him.

Marcus left me so he could put his Master face back on, whatever that means. Cort and I stand silently in the pre-dawn light shivering as the December air whips around us.

“Ready?” Cort’s eyes twinkle with excitement. He hops on his heels and flashes me a cocky smile.

“What are you so happ
y about, Mister?” I tease him.

“I’ve never been to an initiation where I wasn’t the one offering pleasure.” He poi
ntedly looks at me and smirks.

“Oh, so you think you’ll get to sex me up. You know I’m not a virgin
anymore,” I say sarcastically.

“Really,” he grabs his chest. “I’m shocked. I guess I imagined all those times I watc
hed our Master plow into you.”

“I can’t believe he is
going to do this,” I grumble. 

“He has no choice. It is going to be horrible for him to watch you with Pretty Boy. It’ll be
easier if it’s a progression.”

“What do you mean?”

“Prepare for an orgy, Regina. He’s in a mood. And I can’t wait for you to disobey,” his voice takes on a cadence of mischievous evilness.