Quest (8 page)

The other Sisters drifted off to their own chambers and Katia was left sitting next to the Elder Sister at a small, well-scrubbed wooden table, even plainer than those the novices used. 'I - I'm sorry.' she gulped. 'I keep d-doing the wrong thing.'

Herra patted her on the shoulder, startled by the way the girl winced at the touch. 'Child, you did as our Brother willed. No one can do more.' And because she had never forgotten her own Choosing over two hundred years previously, she added, 'Are you afraid?'

Katia nodded and two tears rolled down her cheeks.

Herra clasped her hand. 'I was, too, when I was your age. Ididn't want to be
chosen
.'

'
You
didn't want to be
chosen?
'

'No. I was fond of my family. I had no desire to leave them. Do you miss your family?'

More tears spilled down Katia's cheeks. 'There's only my grandfather. But I miss him dreadfully. Every day.'

'What happened to your father and mother?'

'They died in a rock fall. I was about two then, so I don't remember them. I'd been ill, and I was staying with Grandfather, so he just kept me there. He was lonely. Grandmother had died a while before. My aunt, who lives two days' journey away, already had a large family and there was no one else.'

'It was allowed? A man on his own to bring up a girl-child?'

'There was no one else. Oh, someone in the town would have taken me in, if necessary, but people have large families in the High Alder, Elder Sister. Only Grandfather real y wanted me. And I couldn't have had a better upbringing! He taught me
everything
.'

She hadn't seen Cheral come in with the drinks and she jumped when the Novice Mistress spoke just behind her.

'Not quite everything, Katia, or you wouldn't have been such a poor pupil here.'

'Well, everything about the forests and even about the wildwoods. We used to go there sometimes in summer.' Katia cast a glance of loathing at the grey stone walls, but didn’t dare voice her hatred of the temple.

Herra turned to Cheral. 'Would you bring Katia some blankets, please? She needs comfort for a while.' She made a sign to Cheral to leave them alone together and picked up the beaker of hot milk, cradling it in slim, shapely hands. She
QUEST Shannah Jay 27

hadn’t missed the way the girl had looked around her, and had guessed more from that brief conversation than Katia would have believed possible.

'You'd better drink up your milk before it grows cold. Cheral gets annoyed if one doesn't do as she says when she's in one of her fusses.'

Sullenly Katia picked up the beaker. 'I prefer mountain nerid's milk,' she said defiantly. 'We always drank that at home.'

'I prefer it, too. But it's hard to find in Tenebrak. And there's nothing wrong with ordinary nerid's milk.'

You could never get the better of a Sister in an argument, thought Katia bitterly. She concentrated on her milk, which was nice and hot, at least.

Afterwards Herra herself took Katia to a small room at the end of a narrow corridor. Being underground, the room had no window, and it contained nothing that was not strictly essential. At one side was a ventilation shaft, which gave a little light in the daytime, and at the other side, a narrow bed and a chest. She saw how the child shivered at the sight of this stark chamber and said gently, 'When you become a ful Sister, Katia, you'll be able to have a chamber with a window. We use these chambers for Sisters-Elect to spare them the distractions of normal temple life.'

Katia said nothing. She had given up hoping for anything good to happen to her. She shivered and hugged her arms around herself.

Herra looked at her sympathetically. Poor girl! How very unhappy she was. She tried to cheer the child up a little.

'Since I was the one who
chose
you, it's up to me to take responsibility for your training . . . ' she began.

Cheral bustled in with a pile of bed linen and thick fleecy blankets, followed by another Sister carrying the things from Katia's bed and chest in the novices' dormitory. 'You're spoiling her already,' she scolded Herra, ignoring Katia.

'You always spoil them! How will she learn to control her body if you give her a pile of blankets?'

'She's not capable of control ing anything tonight. She's cold and afraid, and she needs the extra warmth.'

'And what about tomorrow? Is she still to join the others for lessons? She's learnt almost nothing so far, though she's been here for over six months.'

Herra ignored the sharp tone in her Sister's voice, and spoke cheerfully, for Katia's sake. 'No. Tomorrow I shall go on retreat for a week, to the crèche, and Katia shall come with me. She needs a rest, too. She can help Rianna with the children. After that, we shall see.'

'Well, I hope you know what . . . '

'Enough. Our Brother, the God, has
chosen
her, and we are his servants. You forget yourself when you question his choice.'

As she spoke, the air around Herra seemed almost to crackle with power. Katia could only gape as Cheral turned pale, bowed her head slightly and left the room.

Herra hung the lamp Cheral had brought on the wal hook and turned the wick down low. '
Go to sleep now
, child. Be ready to leave in the morning at Third Gong.'

There was enough power in her voice to make the new Sister-Elect climb obediently into the narrow bed, snuggle down among the beautiful soft blankets and fall asleep.

Katia almost panicked the next day when she woke up in a dimly-lit chamber which she didn’t at first recognise.

Then memories flooded back and she tried to come to terms with her new status. She wasn’t left long with her thoughts. The First Gong sounded and she tumbled automatically out of bed and went to perform her ablutions. She met Sister Laliran in the corridor outside and shyly asked the way to the Sisters' washing room.

'Welcome to the Sisterhood, Katia.' Laliran gave her a hug. 'May you find happiness in the service of our Brother.'

'Thank you.' Katia usually spurned all attempts at friendliness,but who could take offence at gentle Sister Laliran, who played the temple chimes and led the music?

QUEST Shannah Jay 28

At least the Sisters' washing room wasn’t crowded. There seemed to be room for far more Sisters in the lower levels than currently occupied them. For the first time since her arrival in Tenebrak, Katia hurried through her toilette, eager for the day to begin. Herra had said that she was to be allowed outside the temple. Outside! And for a whole week!

When she went back to her chamber to pack her things for the journey, she nearly panicked at the sight of the clean blue Sister's robes on the bed. She pulled herself together and put on her underclothes, then slipped a robe over her head, twitching its folds into place with fingers that shook a little. The robe wasn’t as heavy as she’d expected, though it was much fuller than the grey ones the novices wore. The material was soft, shimmering slightly even in this dim light, and reminded her of the petals of the shannalin blossoms. In the temple ceremonies, the robes of the Sisters seemed almost iridescent in the light of the many lamps which hung there. Katia stroked the gleaming material with one fingertip. It was so beautiful.

Packing her things wasn’t an arduous task and Katia hummed as she worked. The thought of going outside made her feel much more cheerful than usual. She’d always sung until she came to the temple, but there unhappiness had made her reluctant to join in the choruses, let alone take a solo part.

Cheral came in as she was finishing, ready as usual to criticise and find fault. But this time the folds of Katia's spare robe were ritually accurate, and no error could be found in the packing of her other belongings. Cheral picked up the old grey robe. 'Well, at least you didn't tear this one. It can be used again.'

Katia plucked up her courage. 'Do I - do I have any duties?'

'You will have duties normally, but the Elder Sister has excused you this morning.' Cheral lifted Katia's chin, and her eyes were not unkind as she scrutinised the pale face under its cloud of dark hair. 'Hmm. I hadn't realised how thin you'd become.' I’ve been at fault myself in not noticing that, she thought guiltily. May our Brother forgive me. 'Just look at those shadows under your eyes! Though you do seem a bit more cheerful today, I must say.'

'Am I - are we really going outside?'

'Yes. But before you do, listen to me, and listen well, for once! You must look after Herra most careful y. None of this hedging around, doing things half-heartedly.'

Katia flushed and Cheral continued, 'The Elder Sister is a very special person, unquestionably the most important person in the whole Sisterhood, and in our whole world too, come to that. If necessary, you are to give your life to save hers.' She smiled grimly at Katia's open-mouthed astonishment. 'Oh, yes. That's a distinct possibility nowadays. It's not all gongs and temple ritual when one is a Sister, you know. Those of the Serpent have tried several times already to kill Herra, but our Brother protects his own.'

Katia gulped. 'I didn't know. But I will look after her, Illustrious Sister, I promise.'

'My name is Cheral. And you're a Sister too, now, remember - Sister-Elect, anyway.'

'Yes. I keep forgetting.' Katia took a deep breath. 'Er - Cheral, where exactly is Herra taking me?'

'To the crèche. It's outside the town, to the north. It's one of our largest crèches.' She saw Katia's puzzlement.

'Haven't you been listening to
anything
I've been saying for these past six months?' She saw the green eyes fill with tears.

'I was so homesick, I couldn't think properly.'

'Well, you'd better start listening now. And thinking properly, too. Your very life may depend upon it.'

'I'll try. Really, I will. But whose babies are they?'

Cheral sighed in exasperation. 'Sisters are women, just like any others, and women have children. If they don't, their bodies become unbalanced. Most of us don't choose to have more than two or three children, and we pick the fathers rather more carefully than other women do.' Her eyes softened momentarily. 'Some Sisters don't return to the temple straight away.' She sighed and her thoughts wandered elsewhere for a few moments, then she shook her head and continued, 'But eventually we all return to our tasks here.'

Katia's eyes blazed with sudden hope. 'People leave the Sisterhood? They're allowed to
leave
?'

'No one who is
chosen
can ever leave the Sisterhood,' Cheral said flatly. 'But some decide to reside for a while in the
QUEST Shannah Jay 29

outside world, to marry and raise their own and other Sisters' children. They return later, though, when their husbands die.'

Katia looked puzzled. 'But what if their husbands don't die first?'

Cheral sighed in exasperation. 'You know that most of us live longer than other people. It's not just the Elder Sister who has that privilege. No, I can see that you hadn't thought about that. Wel , think about it now. You're likely to live for nearly twice as long as an ordinary person.'

She smiled grimly at Katia's gasp. 'In the meantime, it's very useful to us to have some of our Sisters out in the community. Our Brother needs servants everywhere, if the Quest is ever to succeed. And what, might I ask, were you doing last month when I explained all this?'

Katia flushed. 'I - the stone dulls my thoughts. And last month, I could smell the riala-blossom in the garlands. It made me remember my home. I'm sorry, Illus- . . . Cheral, really I am.'

'See that you remember it this time, then,' said a voice behind them.

Herra was standing in the doorway. How long had she been there listening?

'Are you ready, Katia?'

'Yes, Elder Sister.'

'We aren't taking part in a ceremony, now. My name is Herra. Al are equal in the Sisterhood, though some of us have benefited from our long years to acquire more knowledge than others- and sometimes, even, a little wisdom.'

'I've felt so stupid since I came to Tenebrak,' Katia confided. Herra smiled at her, and after her kindness of the night before, she no longer seemed so terrifying.

'You have different knowledge from the other girls, that's all.

‘All things that pass

Are wisdom's looking glass.'

Herra smiled again as she spoke, as if at a pleasant memory. 'The present Manifestation of our God told me that verse once and I have taken it for myself, to help guide my soul through these days of darkness. The words were written in times long ago by a woman with the Gift of Poetry. Only fragments of her work are now known. Our Brother is very fond of beauty, you know, whether in words or in objects.'

'You make him seem - real.'

'He is real. Never doubt that. Now, enough gossiping. Come and join the morning Gathering, then we'll break our fast and be off.'

The other novices were already in their places and several cast envious looks at Katia as she self-consciously followed Herra and took her place for the first time in the front of the great hall with the other Sisters. Then the chimes rang out. All bowed their heads in acknowledgment of the God's presence as they
gathered
.

For Katia, this communion was again a thing of bewildering joy. She felt the life force flow more swiftly in her veins and the pain of her separation from her grandfather begin at last to wash away as she
gathered
with her Sisters. She raised wondering eyes to the statue of the God as they concluded the ceremony. Was he indeed her Brother now? And what lay behind the impenetrable darkness at the rear of the statue? Was it true that a new part of the statue appeared every time another Manifestation of the God came down to the planet? She screwed up her eyes and it seemed for a moment as if she could see the shape of a head there, but afterwards she decided she must have been mistaken.

When the Morning Gathering was over, the Sisters returned to their big communal chamber in the lower level to break their fast and discuss the day's tasks. Katia, with the prospect of going outside before her, could eat very little. She didn’t join in the conversation, but smiled shyly when spoken to. Without its sulky expression, her face was like that of
QUEST Shannah Jay 30