Rachel's Folly (18 page)

“Did you kill her?”’

“I already told you,” he said, more exasperated. “She fell.”

“I’m aiming for your kneecap now, but I’m not a very good shot. I could hit your head,” she said.

“No, wait! … To hell with it—yes! Did you hear me? I did. But, I didn’t mean to, I told you I panicked. She was about to run down to tell Elena everything. We fought. I lost my cool. I hit her over the head with a frying pan. She was out cold. It all happened so fast. I … I didn’t know what to do,” his voice cracked, “so I threw her over the balcony.” He began to cry forcefully. “I was so desperate. I’m so sorry. I’m not a monster. Please believe me, I’m
not
a monster .…”

So there it was. Ben had been right all along. Sara shouldn’t have been surprised, but even after all of this, she found it hard to swallow. Jack killed Rachel.

“You’re such a loser,” she said. “And I’m such an idiot for ever getting involved with you.” She knew she had to get one last confession out of him. “Tell me, are you really sorry, or just sorry you’re here now, exposed?”

“Yes! God! I’m sorry! How many times do you need me to say it?”

“Are you sorry for what you did to me?”

“Of course!”

“Are you sorry for trying to kill Ben?”

Jack grunted. He yelled as loud as he could, “Help me, somebody help me!”

Sara was unmoved. She really didn’t care if someone heard him or not. “Are you sorry for trying to kill Ben?” she asked again.

“Yes, I’m sorry that fat-ass didn’t die!”

She paused and aimed the gun. “Fuck you, Jack.”

“Sara, Sara, don’t. Please don’t. I
am
sorry, really,” he wailed. “Please.”

She fired the gun. The bullet hit the wall no more than a foot above his head. He gasped and tucked what he could of his body into the fetal position.

“Oh God, oh God,” he cried.

Sara sat back slowly and turned the recorder off. She sat for a moment and watched him sob, feeling a sense of deep satisfaction wash over her. She walked over to him and noticed he had peed his pants. Bending down, she took the digital recorder from her pocket and rewound it for a few seconds before holding it to his ear. Her voice came through.
Are you sorry for trying to kill Ben?
Then his voice:
Yes, I’m sorry that fat-ass didn’t die!
She stopped the recorder.

“Do you understand?” she asked.

He nodded and continued to weep.

“If I were you, I would disappear. I’m going to keep this—one for myself, one for Elena and one for Edward. The police will be coming for you very soon.”

She grabbed the bags of drugs and paraphernalia and emptied them around his body, then she jammed the wasp spray and duct tape into her backpack along with the gun. She glanced around to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything. She took one last look at Jack who now appeared completely defeated. She went over to the kitchen drawers, opened a few until she found a steak knife, then bent down and cut the duct tape that bound his hands. He seemed unaffected that his hands were now free; he remained curled up and continued to cry. She threw the knife on the ground and then slowly, calmly walked out the front door.

It was dark outside and colder than before. The street was still, except for the sound of a barking dog in the distance. Sara let out a deep breath and saw a white cloud of condensation leave her mouth as she exhaled.
It’s over
, she thought.
Whatever happens now, it’s done
.

WHEN NO
ONE ANSWERED
, Sara checked the address again and then knocked a little harder. After a moment, a woman with fair skin and big, green eyes opened the door. She looked like she had been crying and was obviously very pregnant.

“Dr. Spencer?”

“Yes?” She wiped her nose with a tissue and looked as if she was anticipating bad news.

“Uh, you don’t know me, but I was one of Rachel Richards’ clients. My name is Sara Dishner. Rachel was kinda special to me and—”

“You must be Dish,” Elena said between sniffles.

Surprised, Sara replied, “Yeah, that’s what Ben said.”

“Ben Mosley? You know him?”

“Well, it’s sort of a long story, and, yeah, that’s why I’m here. I have some information about your husband.”

“Do you know where he is?” Elena asked expectantly, with tearful eyes.

“No, but there’s something you need to know….” Sara’s eyes fell to the ground. She hadn’t considered that Elena might not be okay with her hurting Jack. “Can I come in?” She asked.

“Um…” Elena hesitated and pressed her lips together. “Sure, please.” She moved aside. “Excuse the mess. I’m in the middle of packing.”

Sara entered the condo and stood by the entrance waiting for Elena to lead her in. There were large picture frames and books on the floor, and big, open moving boxes scattered around the room.

“Here, let me take your jacket. I’ll clear some things off the table. We can sit in the dining room.”

Sara took the digital recorder out of the pocket before handing over her jacket.

“Would you like something to drink?” Elena asked.

“No. Thanks.”

Elena waddled to the dining room, removed some books and shoe boxes off the table and put them on a chair. She carefully maneuvered her big belly to the side and sat down, signaling for Sara to take a seat. They sat across from each other. Soft chamber music played from speakers on the wall. Sara noticed the empty china cabinet behind Elena was missing a large glass pane, and the smaller glass door by its side was severely cracked.

“So, what is it?” Elena asked politely, eyes wide with fear.

Sara hesitated. It also dawned on her that Elena was in a fragile state and may not be able to handle what she was about to say. Sara had come to think of Elena as her rival. She was Jack’s wife, after all. He had wanted Elena to have his baby and had made Sara abort hers. Sara had thought she might even feel good about telling Elena that Jack had lied to her, too. But now, seeing her in person, she was kind, and Sara felt apprehensive.

They were silent for what felt like an eternity. Then, not knowing what else to say, Sara asked, “How’s Ben?”

“He’s better. He’s going to be okay, but he still has a long way to go. He’s extremely lucky. No one thought he’d make it.”

Sara gathered her courage and placed the digital recorder on top of the glass table in front of her.

“What’s that?” Elena asked softly.

“It’s something I think you’ll want to hear. But, maybe not. So let me tell you the gist of it first, and then you can decide. Okay?”

Elena looked at Sara warily and nodded her head.

Sara went on to tell Elena about how she met James, about falling in love with him, getting pregnant and the botched abortion. She then told her about going to see Rachel right before she died.

“And did you get to talk with her?” Elena asked.

“Yes, I did. In fact, that’s when Rachel realized that my boyfriend James … was your husband Jack.”

Elena’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

Sara nodded. “Yeah, I know. Apparently, Jack slept with Rachel right before you guys got married. She had been keeping it a secret for a long time until she found out the jerk I was dating was the same guy.” Sara looked at Elena who was staring at her blankly. Elena’s mouth fell open as Sara continued. “After I told her what happened to me, she came here to tell you. But you weren’t here.” Sara looked into the kitchen and saw the hanging pot rack with dangling cast iron pans in various sizes. She thought that must have been where Jack grabbed the pan he used on Rachel. “You weren’t here, but Jack was. He told me they got into a fight. He knocked her unconscious, panicked and threw her body over the balcony.”

Elena sunk in her chair. She started to tremble and shake, her eyes becoming craters of tears. They ran down her face and stained her powdery foundation. Elena grabbed a fresh tissue to wipe her face and blow her nose.

Sara began to feel remorseful. “I met with him last night. I got him to come clean about everything,” she said.

“He told you…” Elena hesitated. “He told you he killed Rachel?”

“It’s all here.” Sara tapped the digital recorder. “I taped the whole thing. You can hear it for yourself.”

Elena shifted in her chair and cleared her throat. She paused for a moment, and her face grew expressionless. She breathed slowly and closed her eyes.

“I don’t need to,” she said, and then let out a long, exaggerated sigh. Her shoulders fell back. “I knew something wasn’t right.” She breathed in again, quieter this time. “Sometimes we don’t want to see what’s right in front of us.”

She reached for the digital recorder and casually inspected it. “I had a feeling,” she said. “The day Rachel died, Jack and I came home briefly to pick up my phone. He ran up to get it while I waited in the car. It only felt like a few minutes, but the truth is, I fell asleep. It happens a lot when you’re pregnant, especially in the first trimester. Anyway, Jack said it had only been five minutes. I had no reason not to believe him. But I didn’t tell the police I fell asleep. I was scared they would suspect him. I guess I was protecting him.” She put the recorder back down and looked at Sara. “The truth is there were times after that when he would say something, or do something, or look at me in a way that made me feel uneasy—like I didn’t know him—but I would quickly dismiss it, because, well….” She looked down and gently rubbed her pregnant belly. Tears began to run down her face again. She looked up at Sara. “Where is he?”

“He either bled to death under a bunch of meth in his kitchen, or if he’s lucky, he’s as far away from here as possible.” Sara suddenly realized the callousness of her words. “Sorry.” She gazed at the table.

Elena grimaced, closed her eyes again and began to message her temples. “Why didn’t you just go straight to the police?”

“I don’t do police, at least not voluntarily. Anyway, I thought you’d want to know firsthand. I really don’t care what happens to me anymore. I thought I would feel better after he was gone, but I don’t,” she confessed. “I don’t feel anything.”

Elena struggled to get up from her chair and walked over to the window. She stood quietly staring at the city stretched out before her. “I had a feeling something really bad happened when he didn’t come home. And…” She hesitated and looked back at Sara. “I found something I couldn’t make sense of, at least until now.” Sara looked at her inquisitively. Elena continued, “I was clearing out the closet this morning and pulled out one of Jack’s sports jackets. It was still wrapped in plastic from the dry cleaners and had an envelope attached to the top.” She put her hand in her pocket and pulled out a small object. “I found this.” She put the gold earring on the table.

Sara picked it up and inspected it. She looked at Elena and shrugged.

“It was Rachel’s. I bought her those earrings on my honeymoon. Somehow, it got into the seam of Jack’s pocket.”

Sara held the earring up and tilted her head to the side, watching the light bounce off the tiny black stones.

“I remembered he was wearing that jacket that day, too,” Elena said solemnly. She came back to sit down at the table again. They sat there for a while, each staring in different directions, in near silence. The soft classical music was the only sound in the room.

Sara wondered if she should leave to let Elena be by herself. She was just about to get up when Elena suddenly asked, “And you know what’s so ironic?” Elena grimaced. “I’ve never told anyone this, but I was in love with Edward
for years
, and Rachel never even knew.”

“What?” Sara frowned.

“Yep,” Elena said, pressing her lips together and shaking her head slowly like she couldn’t believe what she’d just pieced together. “I met Edward while I was in medical school. He asked me out, but I was dating someone else at the time. We became friends and I introduced him to Rachel. They fell in love and got married shortly after. But, just by coincidence, Ed and I did our residency together—we spent
a lot
of time together—and I started having strong feelings for him. I kept it to myself until I couldn’t hide it anymore.” She smirked and shook her head slowly. “One day, I just broke down and admitted my feelings. He was so sweet … Things got … complicated. He was confused, and in the end, he just couldn’t betray Rachel.” Elena brought her eyes up to meet Sara’s. “He loved her too much.”

“But wasn’t Rachel your best friend?”

“Yes. I loved her, too. But you can’t control who you fall in love with, whether it makes sense or not. It seems so wicked now, but at the time, I was so blinded, so led by my feelings, I couldn’t see it. I didn’t care about anything else. It took me a long time to put it behind me.”

“So you would have forgiven Rachel for sleeping with your husband?” Sara asked, realizing even more how tragic their ties were.

“Absolutely. It would have hurt, that’s for sure. It hurts now. But how could I judge her for doing something I nearly did myself? What I would’ve done, had Edward allowed it.”

* * *

A few weeks later, Sara found herself walking briskly through the hospital hallway, holding a soft, brown puppy close to her chest. It was hidden under her jacket. She hoped she could get to Ben’s room without anyone noticing and breathed a sigh of relief when she made it.

Ben was no longer in the ICU. He had been moved to a private room on the hospital’s upper level for rehabilitation. When Sara walked in, he was propped up in his bed reading
Pride and Prejudice
. His face had yellow and purple bruises. His leg was still in a full cast, resting on pillows. The windowsill was covered with vases of colorful flowers and there were stacks of books and binders on a chair by his bed. Sara stood in the doorway. Ben turned and looked at her over his reading glasses.

“Well, hello there,” he said. “I almost didn’t recognize you with your new ’do.” He set his book down by his side. “I was wondering when you would come see me.”

“Hey,” she said. She turned and started to close the door behind her. “Is it okay if I close the door?”

“Sure, but there’s a grouchy nurse that barges in here from time to time without any warning.” He winced with pain as he repositioned himself in the bed.

“I brought you something,” Sara said and walked over to him.

“I hope it’s a few bottles of wine,” he said, smiling at her.

Sara carefully unzipped her jacket, and the puppy quickly stuck her head out.

“Oh, look at that.” Ben’s smile grew. “She’s beautiful. What kind of dog is she?”

“Some mix, between a terrier and a dachshund maybe. They brought her to my work yesterday. She was abandoned at a shopping mall. I thought you might want her.” She brought the puppy to Ben who immediately grabbed her and held her close to his face.

Just then, a tall, slender guy walked out of the adjacent bathroom. He reminded Sara of one of those chiseled, grim-faced male models she often saw in fashion magazines. She stiffened and made a move to grab the puppy.

Ben placed his hand over hers. “Don’t worry, he’s a good guy. Sara, this is my boyfriend, Paul.”

Paul smiled widely, exposing a perfect set of bright, white teeth. He extended his hand and said, “Sara Dishner? It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Sara smiled and returned his handshake. She noticed that even his hands were good-looking with their smooth skin, long fingers and manicured nails.

“What a cute dog,” he said and bent over to pet its head. “I’m going to go meet Hector and Cindy for a late lunch,” he told Ben. “They want to take me to Rainey Street before I head back to Maine. There’s an Indian food trailer there that’s supposed to be amazing. Sure you don’t want me to bring you back something?”

Ben shook his head. “I’m good. Thanks.” He smiled. “Have fun.”

Paul gave Ben a light kiss and grabbed his coat. “It was nice to meet you,” he said to Sara before he left the room.

Ben combed the dog’s head with his fingers, looking at her lovingly. “She’s wonderful, but I won’t be able to take care of her for a while. Maybe Edward can keep her until they release me. I know Jacob will be thrilled.” He looked at her sincerely and said, “Thank you.” Then he gestured towards the empty chair in the corner. “Grab a seat.”

She pulled the chair close to the bed and sat down.

They looked at each other for a moment. Ben smiled at her warmly, and she smiled back and held his gaze. She realized the last time they had spoken to each other was in the coffee shop right before Ben’s accident. She thought of how much had happened since then.

Ben’s smile gradually faded. “Edward was here yesterday,” he said, sounding serious. “He told me about the tape you sent him and … about what you did to Jack.” Sara cast her eyes to the floor and suddenly felt ashamed.

“What’d he say?” she asked, still looking down and avoiding eye contact.

“He felt bad about not believing me about Jack. And as it turns out, Ed’s part of the reason I’m lying here.”

Sara looked at him, puzzled.

“It was just my luck that the morning of the day we met at the coffee shop, I took my nephew out for breakfast. Elena happened to stop by Edward’s house while we were out and he inadvertently told her I was going to meet with you. She must have told Jack and that’s how he knew to follow me.” He smiled and shook his head. Then he scratched the top of his scalp with his ring finger and looked at her. “Did the police come for you?”

“Edward must have taken the recording to the police as soon as he got it because the cops showed up at my work right after I mailed it to him. They took me down to the station,” she said.