Rainbow's End (16 page)

When Keith at last opened his eyes, the moisture at their corners told her that he was using every ounce of his willpower to hold on to his composure. She yearned to gather him into her arms and comfort him, as she'd done with Kyle, to hold him until his shaking stopped and the world steadied. But it would take more than a simple hug to set Keith's world right.

“After Ellen died, I didn't have it in me to fight,” he continued in an unsteady voice. “I was too filled with hate and anger—at Susan, at the congregation, at life…at God. So I walked away. Without even leaving a forwarding address. My father took care of tying up the loose ends for me. I wanted nothing more to do with that town or that church.”

As Jill looked at Keith's ravaged face, feeling his pain as if it were hers, it occurred to her that there were many ways for people to be damaged. Some bore their scars in a manner seen by the eye; others in a manner seen only by the heart.

“I'm so sorry,” she whispered.

“I was, too. For myself.” He looked at her steadily, cutting himself no slack. “I didn't think that I deserved what had happened to me. That as a minister, I was somehow better than anyone else. It's taken me two long years to get past that. The first year I worked with my dad, hoping time would heal my wounds. When it didn't, I started traveling. Looking for answers. After almost a year of wandering, I reached the end of the road—literally—when I came to Orcas Island. I'd never been more down in my life than the night I arrived on your doorstep.”

He leaned forward. “But I've learned a lot since then, Jill. About accepting God's will, about letting go, about moving on. That's why I need to go back to Ohio. To finish some business I should have taken care of two years ago. To set the record straight so that I can move ahead with my life.”

But move where? Jill wanted to ask. However, her spoken words were different. “That makes sense.”

For several long beats of silence, Keith's gaze held hers captive, as if he wanted to say more. But in the end, he checked his watch, took a final sip of his coffee and stood. “Kyle will be waiting for us.” He reached for her hand and
drew her to her feet, his face inches from hers, those blue eyes warm and inviting. “Thanks for listening, Jill.”

His husky tone and tender expression played havoc with her metabolism. She had to clear her throat twice before she could respond, managing no more than a whisper. “Thank you for sharing.”

He gave her hand a squeeze, then led the way to the steps, guiding her down with a clasp that was sure and strong.

And even after they reached level ground, he didn't let go.

I
t was a day of mixed emotions, starting off in a celebratory mood with an “official” ribbon-cutting ceremony for Jill's studio. A homemade cinnamon coffee cake was cooling on the kitchen counter, and she'd strung a yellow ribbon in the studio doorway. When the time came, they trooped across the yard to the new structure and she handed the scissors to Kyle, who stood between her and Keith.

“Will you do the honors, Kyle?”

Wide-eyed, the little boy stared up at her. “Me?”

“Yes. You've helped Keith so much that I think you should cut the ribbon. Don't you, Keith?”

“Absolutely.”

A flush of pleasure colored the boy's cheeks as he took the scissors. “Okay.”

“But first, I'd like to say a few words of thanks.” Jill bowed her head and linked fingers with Kyle, then reached for Keith's hand to complete the circle. “Lord, we stand before You today in gratitude for the many blessings You have given us. We thank You for bringing us together, in this time and this
place, to share and to learn and to grow. We ask that You guide us in the months and years ahead so that we may walk in Your path at all times, and we ask that You help us always to remember to share with others the many gifts You have given us. Grant us Your strength when we falter, Your compassion when we err, Your consolation when we are hurting. Fill us with Your love so we never forget, even on dark and lonely days, that we are never alone; that You are always by our side. And finally, Lord, help me to use this special room that Keith and Kyle have built to honor the glory of your creation.”

When she finished, Jill looked over at Keith. “Would you like to add anything?”

“I think you said it all.” He stroked his thumb over the back of her hand before he released it. “That was beautiful, Jill.”

His smile was like the sun on a warm spring day, and the husky quality of his voice set off a flutter in her stomach. “Okay, Kyle.”

Using both hands, the little boy lifted the scissors and snipped the ribbon while Keith recorded the moment with his camera. As the two ends fluttered to the ground, he and Jill applauded. Then she stepped over the threshold and surveyed her dream of a studio, brought to life by Keith. She'd been inside during the building process, of course, but the finished structure, now cleared of construction debris, almost took her breath away. Although Keith had worked from her drawings, he'd enhanced and embellished her ideas, creating a space that was as beautiful as it was practical. Skylights in the vaulted ceiling were positioned to best catch the light, and three sides of the building featured banks of windows. The overall effect was almost like being outdoors.

“It's too pretty to mess up with my paints.” Jill's tone was
awed as she moved around the room, her face alight with joy. “In fact, I'm tempted to move in here.”

Keith grinned. “I'm glad you like it.”

“Like it? I love it!” She twirled around, and on impulse reached out to hug the man who had made her vision a reality. His arms went around her, and he briefly pressed his cheek to her hair, inhaling her pleasing, fresh scent, before she pulled back and smiled up at him.

As he studied the woman whose goodness and sweetness had helped him find his way out of darkness, Keith marveled at the changes that had been wrought in her, as well. If he'd never believed in miracles before, he now had proof of one in his arms. Like a butterfly, she'd left her cocoon, transformed, with wings that were ready to soar. Where once she'd hidden her face under a hat and stayed in the shadows, she now embraced the sunshine. Despite the bright light that outlined every flaw, she was unselfconscious about her scars. At least with him. His throat tightened with tenderness, and he was tempted to express the depth of his feelings in a way that left no doubt in her mind that she was a beautiful and appealing woman in every way that mattered.

Jill saw a spark ignite in Keith's eyes, and for an instant she stopped breathing. Like that night on the porch, when he'd interrupted the tense scene with Kyle's grandfather, she had the distinct impression that he wanted to kiss her. Then, she'd thought the urge had been driven by consolation, by a need to reassure her that the danger was past. In this case she wasn't as sure about the motivation. Of course, she knew he liked her. But liking and attraction were two different things. He was probably just caught up in the excitement of the moment. Responding to her euphoria. It couldn't be anything more. Could it?

“This is…really nice, Keith. It's bright and sunny and…h-happy. I…I like it a…a whole lot.”

So lost was Jill in Keith's eyes that it took several seconds for Kyle's words to register. When they did, she blinked once, twice, and tried to regroup. Had Kyle said a whole sentence? Not just one, but three?

Forcing herself to turn and step out of Keith's arms, Jill lowered herself to Kyle's level and gave him a glowing smile. “So do I. You guys did a great job.”

Keith dropped down beside her, and from the look he gave her she knew he hadn't missed the significance of Kyle's milestone. “I couldn't have done it without you, buddy.” He laid his hand on the youngster's shoulder.

A flush of pleasure warmed the boy's face. “What…what are you going to paint first?” he asked Jill.

“As a matter of fact, I have a very special project in mind. But since it's a surprise, you'll have to wait and see. And in the meantime, how about we go try that cake?”

The festive air continued as they trooped into the kitchen, which was filled with the enticing aroma of cinnamon. As they took their places at the table, Jill cut them each a generous wedge of the cake and passed out forks. Though they were celebrating the completion of her studio, the easy banter and laughter in the room was yet another blessing that filled her with gratitude.

Kyle was on his second piece when Keith shot her a look, and she nodded. This was one part of the day she wasn't looking forward to. Given Kyle's growing attachment to the man he'd once taken great pains to avoid, she and Keith had talked to Marni at length about Keith's upcoming trip, seeking her advice about how best to position it to ensure that Kyle didn't suffer any setbacks. Her counsel had seemed sound,
and they planned to follow it to the letter. Jill prayed it would mitigate the effect of Keith's departure and reassure Kyle that the man he was fast coming to idolize was, indeed, returning.

“Kyle, I have a job for you to do,” Keith began, keeping his tone conversational.

“Okay.” The youngster looked at him expectantly as he put another bite of cake in his mouth.

“I have to go on a little trip. I'll be gone a few days, and I'd like you to take good care of my tools while I'm away. They're very important to me, because I can't do my work without them. If I leave my toolbox right by your bed, can you keep it safe until I get back?”

The little boy stopped chewing. “Y-you're going a-away?”

“Just for a few days. I'll be back real soon.” Keith took the boy's small hand in his, never breaking eye contact.

“W-why do y-you…” Kyle stopped, leaving the rest of the question unasked.

“There are some things I have to do, back where I used to live. And I want to visit my father, too,” Keith responded.

His hand trembling, Kyle set his fork down and stared at Keith with wide, fearful eyes. “H-he won't h-hurt you, w-will he?”

A muscle clenched in Keith's jaw, and he shot Jill a quick look. She could see the restrained fury in his eyes, prompted by an anger that any man—let alone a child's father—could treat a youngster as Kyle had been treated. But he shuttered them before he looked back at Kyle. “No, buddy, he won't. My father is a very nice man. I love him very much. When I was a little boy, he took me fishing and played catch with me in the backyard and brought ice cream home for us. I miss him, and he misses me. That's why I want to go and see him.”

For several long seconds, Kyle digested that. “I-I don't m-miss my dad.” His voice was small, and he looked down at the table.

“That's okay. He wasn't very nice to you. Most of the time, we only miss people who are nice to us.”

“I-I'll miss you. And I'd m-miss Jill if she w-went away.”

Her throat tight, Jill laid a hand on Kyle's shoulder. “I'm not going anywhere, Kyle,” she promised in a choked voice. And in that moment she knew that she could never send this fragile young boy to live with anyone else. That even if she had to be a single parent, she wanted to adopt him and do all she could to heal his wounds and give him the kind of home he had never known. “I love you, Kyle,” she whispered. His head jerked up, as if he'd never before heard those words. “And I want us to stay together for always,” she continued, blinking back tears.

She felt Keith's intent gaze, but she kept looking at Kyle. It was important that he see the sincerity in her eyes, to know without any doubt that he was wanted and loved and valued.

“You mean I…I can stay with you? F-for always?”

“I'm going to call Cindy, that nice social worker, and talk to her about it tomorrow. Would you like that, Kyle?”

“Yes.” The tense line of his shoulders relaxed, and he gave Jill one of his rare smiles. Only when he picked up his fork once more and began to eat again did she risk a peek at Keith.

“I didn't know about that,” he said quietly.

“I didn't either, for sure. Until just now. But I want to do this, Keith.” Her gaze was steady and certain.

“Do what?” Kyle inquired.

For an instant, Keith's hard-to-read look had made her forget that Kyle was present. And very much aware of the con
versation taking place over his head. “Just something I have to do tomorrow, that's all,” she responded, forcing a smile to her lips. “I guess you like that cake, hmm?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I'll have another piece, too. Keith?”

“No, thanks.”

As she cut herself a second small slice and returned to the table, Jill had the nagging feeling that she'd somehow disappointed Keith. But she had no idea why. If she wanted to take on the job of raising Kyle, why should he care? It was her responsibility, not his. She was used to trusting her own judgment, making her own decisions. And this had been a good one, even if Keith didn't seem all that enthusiastic.

But her certainty couldn't overcome the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that for some reason Keith disapproved of her decision. And when she picked up her fork, she realized that her appetite had vanished—along with the happy glow she'd felt at the ribbon-cutting ceremony.

 

Unless God was on their side, they were going to miss the ferry.

With a worried glance at her watch, Jill pressed harder on the accelerator. The boat was always on schedule…and it never lingered at the dock more than five or ten minutes, especially in the off season. There was very little margin for error. She thought they'd left the house in plenty of time, but she hadn't counted on the road construction that had required a detour over Dolphin Bay Road, which was partially unpaved—and slow going.

“We'll make it, Jill.”

She took her attention off the road long enough to give Keith
a quick, anxious look. “I'm not so sure. We should have eaten lunch sooner, but no one seemed hungry after the coffee cake this morning. If you miss the ferry, you'll miss the bus in Anacortes and you won't get back to Seattle in time for your plane.” Why had his car picked yesterday to die?

Reaching over, he laid a reassuring hand on her arm. “Let's leave it in God's hands, okay? I know in my heart He wants me to do this. We'll have to trust that everything will work out.”

Good advice. And Jill tried to follow it. But since she was in the driver's seat, she felt more than a little pressure to fulfill her role in God's plan to get Keith to the boat on time.

As it turned out, they made it…with mere minutes to spare. The hulking craft was still moored at the dock when they pulled into Orcas Village. But no cars were lined up waiting to drive on, meaning the loading was complete and the horn would sound any second to signal the boat's departure.

“See? I told you we'd make it,” Keith noted with a smile.

“I won't feel sure about that until you're on board.” She set the car brake and released the trunk latch. “Why don't you grab your bag while I run over and let one of the crewmen know they have another passenger. Kyle, stay with Keith, okay?”

Without waiting for a response, Jill dashed toward the boat.

Only when Keith and Kyle joined her a couple of minutes later did she feel the tension in her shoulders ease. “You'd better board,” she told Keith, jamming her hands into the deep pockets of her jacket.

Ever since Jill had revealed her plans to adopt Kyle this morning, Keith had sensed a certain awkwardness between them. Due, he supposed, to his reaction to her announcement. In retrospect, he realized that she might have interpreted his surprise as disapproval. In fact, nothing could be
further from the truth. He was all for the idea. It was just that he'd expected them to talk it over first. But why should she feel compelled to discuss choices about her future with him? He'd never given her any indication of his growing feelings. Or his hopes that he might be part of her future. It hadn't seemed appropriate to do so until he was free of the past, until the way was cleared for him to make some promises about tomorrow.

But he couldn't leave on this uncomfortable note. Although departure preparations had kept him busy most of the morning, he'd hoped they'd have a few minutes to discuss the situation. That didn't seem to be in the cards now. For one thing, time was short. For another, it wasn't a subject he wanted to talk about in front of Kyle.

Then inspiration struck. He dug in his pocket and withdrew a handful of change, holding it out to Kyle. “Why don't you run into the store and get one of those ice-cream bars you like?” he suggested. Often in the past, as they waited to catch the ferry to Friday Harbor for a counseling session, they'd indulged in a treat from the neighborhood store at the dock. Kyle's face lit up as his small fist closed around the coins.