Rake's Progress (5 page)

‘Best get some sleep,' muttered Rainbird to Joseph. ‘This place is going to be like a sty in the morning.'

Miss Esther Jones awoke early to a fine day. She felt restless and decided to go for a walk before summoning the servants to morning prayers.

She remembered that little scullery maid, Lizzie, with pleasure, and her steps took her towards Clarges Street.

At first she thought there was a fire at Number 67. Servants from the other houses were standing out on the street, gazing up at the windows.

She quickened her pace and joined the audience.

One man gave a coarse laugh and pointed upwards. The house was still a blaze of lights. At a first-floor window there appeared to be a huge fat man's face pressed against the glass. The crowd began to laugh and cheer, and with flaming cheeks Miss Esther Jones realized she was looking at a bare female bottom on which someone had painted a grinning face.

As she watched, thunderstruck, a man lifted the naked woman away from the window and looked down. He was fully dressed in evening clothes. He had a rakish, handsome face, golden hair, and bright blue eyes. Esther recognized the drunk who had walked so boldly into her house.

He looked at the watching crowd in an amused
way and then his eyes alighted on Esther and sharpened. He turned away from the window, and Esther knew he was going to come down and speak to her.

She turned and ran off down the street as fast as she could and did not stop until she was safely inside her home in Berkeley Square and had locked the door behind her.

Pious Selinda goes to prayers,

If I but ask her favour;

And yet the silly fool's in tears,

If she believes I'll leave her,

Would I were free from this restraint,

Or else had hopes to win her;

Would she make of me a saint,

Or I of her a sinner.

WILLIAM CONGREVE

By noon the morning after the supper party, the servants rolled up their sleeves and grimly got to work. Angus MacGregor had to be summoned from the kitchen to help decant the bodies out into the street. Half-dressed men and women cursed him roundly, but he swore at them in Gaelic and brandished his meat cleaver, and soon the house appeared to be clear of guests.

Then there was the disgusting mess of brimming chamber pots, filthy floors, remains of food, and broken glass to be cleared.

Manuel had disappeared again. He was not in the attic room he shared with MacGregor, nor was he downstairs.

‘Probably sleeping at the end of his master's bed like a bleeding dawg,' muttered Joseph, who had lost his refined accents during all the work. He picked up a soiled garter from under the dining table and threw it on the fire. It was a good thing Lizzie was busy at the sink washing dishes and glasses, thought Joseph. The leavings of the guests were enough to corrupt any young girl's mind. He thought again about getting Lizzie a present. But the shops would surely be closed by the time they had finished their work.

By four in the afternoon, Jenny called Lizzie from her dishes and asked her to help in the gentlemen's bedrooms. It was time to clear the fires and take up cans of hot water. They would surely soon be awake and getting dressed, ready for another wild evening.

Carrying a large bucket of coal, Lizzie struggled up the stairs after Jenny.

‘We'll start off with his lordship's room,' said Jenny, opening the door.

She and Lizzie stood thunderstruck in the doorway. His lordship was in bed with three naked females who lay draped about him like rumpled white blankets.

Lord Guy awoke, struggled up against the pillows, and stared at the two maids who stood there goggling, their faces crimson. He looked at his bed
companions and frowned.
Had he actually
had
any of them?
he wondered vaguely. Then he looked at Lizzie's innocent shocked face, and said curtly, ‘Get out! I shall send for you when the room is empty.'

Jenny dragged Lizzie back and slammed the door.

Lord Guy kicked one naked body out of bed and then another. The demi-reps screamed and groaned. He promised the highest payment to the one who dressed and left first. There was an undignified scramble, but it speeded them on their way.

He rang the bell. Rainbird answered it wearing his working clothes and apron. He stood to attention, his eyes lowered and his whole acrobat's body bristling with outrage.

‘Bring me a bath,' Lord Guy ordered.

Rainbird briefly raised his eyes and then lowered them. ‘Certainly, my lord,' he said.

‘Wait a minute,' said Lord Guy. ‘There was an insolent look in your eye there, fellow. What is the meaning of it?'

‘The maids in this house, including Mrs Middleton, are in my charge,' said Rainbird. ‘I am protective of them, perhaps too much. I gather the scullery maid and the chambermaid were deeply shocked. I know such behaviour goes on in society, my lord, but usually it is . . .

He broke off.

‘Usually it is confined to the brothels,' said Lord Guy. ‘Are you always so cheeky to your masters, Rainbird?'

‘No, my lord. I apologize. I did not mean to let my disapproval show.'

‘Don't let it show again. Your station does not prevent you from a horsewhipping. Now get that bath!'

Rainbird bowed and left.

Lord Guy rolled over in bed. He felt a lump and brought out an empty rum bottle.

He sat up and clutched his head. Then he looked about the room. What a squalid mess! No wonder that butler had been disapproving. He rang the bell again and demanded Manuel's presence. Rainbird was about to say he did not know where Manuel was when the Spaniard appeared behind him, making him jump.

‘Clean up this mess, Manuel.'

The servant turned a cold eye on Rainbird. ‘Where are the maids?' he demanded.

Lord Guy's voice was like silk. ‘I told you to clean it up,' he said. ‘Hop to it!'

He swung his long legs out of bed and shrugged his dressing gown over his naked body. ‘You,' he said to Rainbird, ‘come with me.'

He led the way down to the dining room. Alice and Jenny were sprinkling rose water over the carpet. They started and blushed when they saw him and then stood with lowered eyes.

What a monster these creatures make me feel
, thought Lord Guy irritably.

‘Out,' he said aloud, jerking his head at the door.

When they had left, he turned and surveyed
Rainbird. ‘Well, my Methodist friend,' he said, ‘out with it. Was there more to shock the females than my companions?'

‘Yes, my lord,' said Rainbird stoutly, although he could already feel his shoulders smart under a horsewhipping. With averted eyes, he described in detail the state of the house and of the remaining guests.

Lord Guy felt his spirits sink to his naked feet. Where was all the happy-go-lucky bachelor freedom he had imagined?

He had been brought up to treat servants well. The men in his regiment had never had cause to complain of his treatment. These servants were as much under his command as his soldiers, and he had let them down.

‘You will not be troubled again,' he said stiffly. ‘Mr Roger and I shall take our pleasures elsewhere. You may pay the staff two pounds each for their trouble.'

‘Thank you, my lord,' gasped Rainbird.

‘Hard being in service, is it not?' went on Lord Guy, looking at the butler curiously.

‘It can be, my lord, but there are compensations.'

‘Such as receiving extra payment from guilty masters?'

‘Not quite, my lord,' said Rainbird, risking a smile. ‘We, the servants here, are become much attached to each other. It is not often a man is blessed with such a good family.'

Lord Guy frowned, and Rainbird wondered
whether he had said something wrong. But Lord Guy was remembering his own family in Yorkshire. He should really visit his mother and father before returning to the wars.

Was his planned celebration in London to burn out so soon? To lead a quieter life would bring the memories of the hell of war rushing back into his brain, to hear again the cannon's roar and hear the shrieks of the wounded and smell the putrid flesh of the dead and dying. He turned very pale and swayed slightly.

‘My lord?' Rainbird made a step forward to catch his master should he fall.

‘I shall do very well,' said Lord Guy. ‘Bring me a bottle of canary and tell the Jolly Roger to make himself ready.'

He smiled at the butler, a charming, devastating smile.

‘Well, well,' said Rainbird, shaking his head as he made his way down the stairs.

He said nothing to the others for the moment. He and Joseph and the girls carried the bath and the cans of hot water upstairs. Mr Roger's bed turned out to be free of visitors. He revived himself by pouring two cans of water over his head and shaking himself like a dog.

At last both gentlemen, shadowed by Manuel, made their way out.

The staff of Number 67 heaved a sigh of relief. ‘I don't know as I can take much more o' this,' said Joseph.

‘He's given us two pounds each for our pains,' said Rainbird.

Everyone brightened. ‘It is a pity my lord is so evil,' said Lizzie.

‘I think he's a good man,' said Rainbird. ‘He's been at the wars too long. He said there would be no repetition of last night, and what's more, I believe him.'

‘He's ever so handsome,' said Alice dreamily.

‘He frightens
me
,' said Jenny stoutly. ‘I never hope to see such a disgusting sight again.'

Mrs Middleton was disposed to be kind. She was still floating along on a wave of euphoria caused by the comeuppance of Felice. ‘What he needs,' she said, ‘is the love of a good woman.'

‘A good woman,' jeered Dave. ‘He's 'ad free o' them at onct.'

‘Don't talk dirty,' said Jenny.

‘I mean it,' pursued Mrs Middleton. ‘They always reform when they meet a good woman.'

Rainbird shrugged. ‘Only in books,' he said.

Lord Guy and Mr Roger returned home at three in the morning, a comparatively early hour. They asked to be awakened at nine as they planned to join a Four-in-Hand-Club expedition to Box Hill. They did not expect to be back until the day after that. The servants might do as they pleased.

With great courage, Rainbird presented Lord Guy at breakfast with the bill for the increased wages plus the bonus of two pounds a head.

Lord Guy paid out the bonus and wrote a draft to his bank for the wages without a murmur.

He was surprised to find the whole staff lined up in the hall to say goodbye to him, with Rainbird as their spokesman to thank him on behalf of them all for the money.

He gave a slight bow and gave them a mocking smile. ‘Don't spend it all on riotous living,' he said. He made a graceful exit, with Mr Roger lumbering like a bear after him.

‘He's awfully nice when he smiles,' said Alice sentimentally.

They all crowded back down to the servants' hall to decide what to do with their day of freedom. Lizzie, who liked to walk in the parks and get as much fresh air as she could, said she would probably go to Kensington Gardens. Joseph coughed genteelly and said he would accompany her, and Lizzie blushed with pleasure.

Angus said he would look at the second-hand bookstalls, and Jenny and Alice wanted to see the shops. Mrs Middleton looked hopefully at Rainbird, but he said he would go round to Berkeley Square to call on ‘Lizzie's reformer'. He said that after that he would go to my lord's bank, bring back the wages and put half the money in the Vail Box, which was where they kept their savings towards buying their pub. Then he gave them two pounds each. Mrs Middleton volunteered to stay to look after the house. She meant to be ready and available for any outing when Rainbird returned from the bank.

Rainbird did not expect this Miss Jones to be up and about at such an early hour, but he thought he would call and arrange a suitable time.

It was a cold, sunny morning. As he strolled round to Berkeley Square, Rainbird thought with amusement of Mrs Middleton's idea of reforming Lord Guy.