Ransom (23 page)

Ransom’s move toward me snapped me back to the moment. He stepped across the threshold and was casually positioned in a solid green fabric lounge chair, before I had a chance to close the door after him. I couldn’t help but admire his complete ease at making himself comfortable in the hotel room. It made me wonder just how many hotel rooms he had been in before.

I moved to the bar fridge, rummaging through the multitude of bottles, trying to decide what my poison of choice would be. I still had a buzz on, but at least my stomach had settled. Having another drink seemed like the stupidest thing I could do, yet I couldn’t expect Ransom to drink without me. I promised my head and stomach, that I would nurse the alcohol as much as was possible without Ransom noticing.

“What would you like to have?” I threw over my shoulder.

“Um, I’ll have vodka and orange juice,” he said.

 
I startled, realizing that he was crouched right behind me, staring into the fridge with apt concentration. The spicy scent of his cologne drifted off him deliciously. Guys that smelled good were a weak spot for me, it was half the reason I had crushed on Mitch since he had always smelled amazing. But gauging by the way Ransom was eyeing the contents of the fridge, I could sniff him all I wanted because that was as close as I was going to get to…
 

I shook my head, confused at how whacked out my brain was. Ransom was here on a pity mission, not because we had hooked up in a bar and had come back to have passionate sex. Once again I was stunned at how Ransom was suddenly being featured in a sordid fantasy that was beyond unbelievable. Though it was hard to deny he was some pretty fine eye candy, he was a major league player, I was little league. I was beginning to wonder if I was in shock over what had almost happened in the alleyway, and if the trauma was making me have risqué thoughts about Ransom.
 

I grabbed two bottles of vodka and a small box of orange juice then closed the fridge. Ransom, who seemed to have the quiet grace of a tiger, was already back in his comfy chair. I strode over to the counter and grabbed two glass tumblers wrapped in sanitary paper. I had no idea how to mix the vodka and orange juice and rather than ask Ransom and show my hand and inexperience, I poured a full bottle into each glass then filled it to the brim with the orange juice.
 

I carried the drinks over. Ransom seemed lost in thought with the ice pack positioned against his jaw. I questioned what he was thinking about that left him with a far off expression. As well as distance there was undeniable grief in the depths of his soft brown eyes, as if he had seen a life time of pain. Then just like that, he snapped out of it. His face hardened into a stone visage. It was astounding to witness how different he looked in the space of a few seconds, as if all the emotions that made him vulnerable were kept under lock and key.

I passed him a drink, he took it with a nod of his head, letting the bag of ice rest on the arm of the chair. He brought the glass to his full lips, that unlike the rest of his face looked exceptionally soft. He swallowed a long drink of my concoction. The wince that followed told me I hadn’t exactly got it right.

“Too strong?” I asked, nervous tension in my tone.

He gave me a charming grin then shook his head.

“No, it’s perfect, if you’re going for the paint thinner cocktail flavor.”

I cringed, but relaxed when he broke into quiet laughter.
 

“I take it you’re not a vodka drinker,” he said.
 

Amusement played in his eyes. I couldn’t help but get lost in the depths of them for a few moments. I caught myself staring at him for the umpteenth time and rapidly averted my gaze. I swallowed a huge gulp of my drink. Ransom had been right, the vodka did taste like what I might have imagined paint thinner would have been like. As the bitter and sweet fluid cut a burning path down my throat, I shivered involuntarily .

“Now that’s a reaction,” Ransom said, laughing again.
 

His laughter was infectious and before I knew it was happening, I was laughing too. And it wasn’t like the phony giggle I had more times than not felt compelled to put on for Trinity, my dad or even my therapist, this was real. And the action had me feeling as if someone had opened a window of light into the darkness that had captured my soul a while back. When our laughter died away we just sat there, silence lengthening between us. I couldn’t deny there was something about him that made you want to be near him.

“So do you live around here?” I said, breaking the quiet. As was always the case, long pauses in conversations made me feel uncomfortable.

Ransom shook his head, but didn’t offer anymore than that.

Taking a clue from before and his obvious need for privacy, I moved on.

“Yeah I’m not from here either, I was coming to town to…”

My words trailed off because I didn’t want to get into talking about Gabriel Sanders, and the depressing details of all that had happened. The last thing I needed was to dredge up all the emotions that were always swirling in my psyche, waiting for an
in
to completely screw me over.

“With friends,” I amended.

Ransom seemed to perk up at this comment. He leaned sideways against the armrest, taking another swig of his drink. His face was more bland this time, clearly he was getting used to the gross taste. I followed his lead, swallowing another sip, unfortunately it tasted just as putrid as it had before.

“Why didn’t you go home with them, it would have saved you a lot of grief…” Ransom started to say.

“They’re camping,” I cut in.
 

He nodded. “You don’t like camping?”

I shook my head.
 

“Not in the least. As far as I’m concerned if there isn’t a shower and running water I’m out. Besides I’m like the third wheel in a bicycle, you know. Aiden and Trinity are totally into each other…”
 

I heard the sourness in my voice, and despised myself for being jealous of Trinity and Aiden’s relationship.

“That bad,” Ransom said. He arched an eyebrow.

I shook my head, needing to explain that it wasn’t bad at all, in fact, their love for one another made me believe that there were still good things in the world.

I shrugged. “They have it all you know. They adore each other and…” I paused trying to come up with the words to articulate what I was trying to say.
 

“It’s not like something out of a fairytale, it’s more like that they’re always there for one another and it doesn’t matter what happens, they love each other unconditionally. It’s kind of a rare thing in a couple,” I said with a long sigh.

Ransom stared at me for an extended beat. I half expected him to laugh at how I had gone all moony over my best friend’s relationship.

“That sounds kind of awesome,” he said with a wide grin. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t just saying it, he actually believed what he had said.

“Yeah, it is,” I said, leaning my cheek on my hand.
 

The conversation moved on to Ransom’s best friend Dave, and how he was stuck on a girl named Paula. Later he told me about how he was in construction, and that he lived a life on the road and how that felt. And as Ransom and I talked, all the awkwardness fell away. In the hotel room we were just two people enjoying each other’s company, where neither of us had a past, just a present. It felt more than amazing to forget, for a little while at least, all the mistakes and regrets that had ruled my life for so long. It was good to just be there with a gorgeous guy who actually seemed interested in what I had to say. Right then, life was uncomplicated, and for the first time in a long while, divinely okay.

17. RANSOM

Lexie wasn’t like any girl that I had talked to before. Sure I had seen her wholesome, good girl kind around before, but I had never had the slightest inclination to approach girls like her. It wasn’t because she was ugly because she wasn’t, in fact she was cute if you went for that bookishly smart kind of thing. Her green-blue eyes had a nice shape and most of the black crap that had ringed them before, had rubbed off. Whatever other makeup she might have been wearing was gone, leaving her face smooth and soft looking. Her dark hair was barely tamed by her ponytail that was half in, half out, and her lips were moist from her drink. She kind of reminded me of the girls that used to be on Noxema commercials on TV when I was a kid.

If it wasn’t for her eyes, that had reminded me of a deer caught in the headlights, when she had begged me to stay, I would have bailed. I had always had a soft spot for people who needed help.

Even while we were talking, she seemed a bit shy and a little nervous. The feeling was mutual. I had no experience with women outside of the bedroom. Sure I could wheel them into sack but this whole chit-chat about life, even if it wasn’t mine, was foreign. I glanced at my watch, shocked that an hour had already passed since we had come into her room. I had to admit it was something of a milestone for me to have been in a hotel room with a girl, and still not have had sex by this point.

“So when are you moving out again?” Lexie asked.
 

I was beginning to regret telling her that I had a job that had me on the road for most of the year. Talking about it, brought me ever close to the fact that Gab was fighting for his life in the hospital just a few blocks away. I threw back the last dregs of my drink, my second since I had arrived. The first had been strong enough to stand a stick in, the second I had made myself, so it tasted a whole lot better. It had gone down much easier than it should have.
 

“Are you okay?” Lexie asked, bringing me back to the conversation.
 

I hadn’t realized that I had drifted off to sleep. The events of the day had me running on adrenalin and now in the quiet of the hotel room, with a soft comfortable bed just feet away, I was wishing that I could curl up and go to sleep. The vodka that I had just downed added to the beers at Clancy’s, had the cumulative effect of leaving me quite bombed.

“Yeah, you know, just wiped out.”
 

I lifted my drink to my lips and tipped it back, and realized that I had already finished it. I blinked my eyes a few times as if it would sober me up, of course it had no effect. Once again the sound of Lexie’s voice brought me out of my stupor.

“I better get going,” I said, attempting to stand. I was back on my ass before I could count to three. I had always hated drinking vodka for that reason alone, because it always seemed to sneak up on me, where one minute I was perfectly fine and the next I was plastered.

“I don’t think you’re going to get very far like that.”

Lexie’s voice sounded far away as if she was in a tunnel. My eyes were barely slits; I was more than aware that I was well on my way to passing out.

“Come on and lay down for a little while,” I heard Lexie say.
 

Her face swam in front of me in a watery blur. I felt her hands on my arms, and she was pulling me to my feet. It felt impossible to do anything but follow her lead.

“No, I should go and…”
 

My words were slurred and unintelligible as she corralled me forward. I got a brief vision of the bed before I went face down on it, then everything went black.

Then Gabriel was there, broken and bloody, and I couldn’t reach him. He was dying and I couldn’t get to him. The next image was of Gabriel in the hospital, tubes trailing from every part of his frail body and just like before, I ran. As I raced away all I could think was that I needed to forget, go somewhere else because the concept that he could die and leave me was too much to shoulder.

Then he was gone and in his place was a blonde in a skin tight black dress that fell to just the top of her shapely thighs. The bodice of her dress covered half of her huge breasts, leaving me more than a little excited to get below the filmy fabric to see everything she had to show. She moved toward me and the urgency to have her was overwhelming . I wanted to get lost inside of her, where the feel of her body was all that mattered and nothing existed outside of mutual gratification.

“Oh baby, I’m going to take you to places you never knew existed,” I murmured reaching for her. Then time seemed to fast forward and she was already in my arms, and we were in bed. Her dress was gone, and now she was in just a sheer black bra and matching panties. I buried my face in her hair. It smelled of something exotic and tropical, like coconuts and the beach. I inhaled deeply, appreciating the silkiness of every strand.
 

But it was too dark. I had always hated having sex in the dark, because seeing her beautiful body only made it that much more satisfying. Not capable of letting go of her for even a second to flick on a light, I ignored the fact that I couldn’t see all of her, using all my other senses to explore.
 

“Oh god you smell good,” I rumbled, pushing my face even deeper into her long hair. I slipped an arm around her torso, drawing her even closer until we were in a perfect spoon position. I felt the cheeks of her ass wrap around my erection like a pillow of softness that left me almost too horny to wait until she came. Then my hands found her breasts, oddly they felt smaller than I had originally expected, but it didn’t matter because they were like silk beneath my fingertips. Her nipples were hard and swollen against my palms. Feeling her body respond to my touch, made me wonder if I might actually orgasm before I had a chance to make her come for me.

 
I forced my mind and body to slow it all down. No matter how much I needed the release, I couldn’t break my cardinal rule. First her, then me, then her again if she wanted it, but always her first. It was the only way to treat a lady.

Desperate to pleasure her, I slipped my hand lower, pushing the waistband of her panties down until I reached the space between her legs. Her fine hair was silken against my fingertips, she shuddered in response. I urged her legs apart and slid a finger into the delicious moistness of her femaleness. She startled at my touch then a moan escaped her lips. I pushed another finger inside her warmth, gliding gently in and out, until she began to move her hips in rhythm with my strokes. I slid a third finger in and quickened the pace, her pelvis smashed against my hand as I thumbed the nub of flesh that left all the women I had been with begging for more. With every thrust of my fingers she grew slicker and more responsive.