Raw Desire (8 page)

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Authors: Kate Pearce

BOOK: Raw Desire
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“I made a choice about the kind of sex I want, not to be psychoanalyzed by a cop!”
He held her gaze. “The kind of sex you
need,
honey.” She dropped her eyes, and he squeezed her hand. “The kind of sex where I tell you what to do, and you do it.”
Jackson shifted uneasily. “Rob . . .”
Rob glanced at Ally. “Shall I tell Jackson what I think? Then you can tell him if I'm right. Ally thought she wanted every guy in the world to want her—that's why she chose modeling and that's why it nearly destroyed her.”
Jackson touched Ally's shoulder. “Models get hit on all the time. It doesn't have to destroy them.”
Rob kept talking. “But what she realized was that those guys wanted her image, not her. They wanted to project their sexual fantasies onto her and not allow her to have her own needs and desires.”
“Stop talking about me as if I'm not here!” Ally climbed off Rob's lap and started to gather up her clothes. “You have no idea what my life was like, and you have no business trying to tell me how I thought or what I wanted from a man.”
“You're only mad because I'm right,” Rob replied.
“I'm mad because this is just typical of you!” She glared at him. “There's a reason why I never dated another man like you.”
“Because you knew deep down that no one else could ever live up to the original?”
Her eyes flashed fire, and he braced himself for an attack.
“I dated men who were considerate of my feelings both in and out of bed.”
“And yet here you are, back making amends with me.”
She exhaled slowly and he tensed. “I liked modeling because I was
told
how to pose, how to do my hair and makeup, how to smile, and, most importantly, how to keep my mouth shut.” She looked at him. “Who does that remind you of, Rob?”
“That's not fair, I never—”
She held up her hand. “If I'd stayed, you would've controlled me like that eventually. Maybe I just preferred to earn good money while I did what I was told.”
Ally struggled into her clothes and headed for the door. Rob didn't stop her. He'd never tried to control her life like that, had he?
Rob glanced at Jackson, who had already risen from the couch and started after Ally. “You'll see her home, right?”
“Yeah, you bastard.”
Rob shrugged. “She needed to hear it, and so did you.”
“Your interpretation of the truth?” Jackson grabbed his keys. “Easy for you to say, Rob, when you sat here and did nothing while Ally and I made
choices.
”
The sarcasm in Jackson's voice made Rob wince, but he kept his expression bland until Jackson left the room. Rob disposed of the condom, slowly tucked his cock back into his jeans, and eased his zipper up. Some things had to be said whether Ally and Jackson liked it or not.
Ally's point about her modeling career had made him think, though. Had he really been that inflexible? He hated that Ally believed that of him. Guilt stirred in his gut. Despite what Jackson implied, he hadn't spent ten years doing nothing. He'd been working things through, admitting his responsibility for what had happened, and now he had a chance to set things right, and by God he was going to do it.
 
As she ran toward the back door, Ally pulled up her jeans and buttoned her blouse. She'd been a fool to come here. Even more of a fool to let both men fuck her. Even as she thought that, her body betrayed her with a shiver of delight. She felt better than she had in years, her mouth full of Jackson and her body holding Rob deep inside. . . .
With a quick glance into the deserted street, she started back home, glad for once that they lived quite close and that she knew the way blindfolded.
Would Rob now understand what modeling had meant to her and why it had eventually destroyed her? He'd looked shocked when she'd told him the truth.
Jackson caught up with her as she unlocked her back door.
“Are you okay?”
She let him into the house and dropped her keys on the table, not bothering to turn on the lights. His hands came down to rest on her shoulders, and he turned her into his embrace.
“Did I hurt you, Ally?”
She leaned into him, inhaling his familiar sandalwood scent. “No.”
He kissed the top of her head. “I should've said no. I shouldn't have let Rob push you into sucking me off like that.”
Ally brought her fingers up to cover his mouth. “No apologies necessary.” She sighed. “Rob's right. I wanted you both. I think I always have.”
Under her fingers, he smiled and his tongue flicked over her flesh. “Good to know, because, damn, I wanted your mouth on me. I think I always have too.”
She took her hand away, and he bent his head to kiss her, his mouth warm and comforting. Ally clung to him, felt her nipples harden against his chest and his quick physical response.
“Ally . . .”
She slid her hand down between them and cupped his balls, heard him groan as she ran her thumb up the hard ridge of his already-erect cock. His hips rocked, pushing him harder against her palm.
“I want . . .”
She opened his jeans and slid her hand inside to grip his hard, wet shaft, felt her own body soften with welcome. “He's right, damn him, Jackson. No one else did it for me. I came back because I missed you both so much.”
Jackson picked her up and backed her against the wall, shoved down her jeans, and impaled her on his hard length. She gasped as he began to pump into her, her heels digging into his ass. He kept up the fast tempo even as she climaxed, didn't stop until he'd driven her through two more orgasms, each one more intense. Ally clung to him as he continued to fuck her. One of his hands worked its way between them, and he fingered her already swollen clit.
“Come for me, Ally.”
She screamed into his mouth as he pinched her clit, and he finally emptied himself inside her in big shuddering waves. When she finally got her breath back, he was on the move again, carrying her down the hallway and laying her on the bed.
He knelt beside the bed and kissed her clit, licking at the wetness pouring out of her. “Good night, Ally.”
Ally tried to sit up. “Jackson, you don't hate me, do you?”
His smile was slow and beautiful. “How the hell could I hate you? We'll work it out. You, me, and Rob. Don't you worry yourself.”
Ally sank back down into her pillows and watched him leave. Would he tell Rob they'd had sex? And what would Rob do about that? She glanced at her clock and groaned. It was already midnight, and she had to get up for work at five. With the ease of long practice, she shoved all her worries about Rob to the back of her mind and willed herself to sleep.
Jackson took his time walking back to Rob's house, his body still dealing with the mind-blowing aftereffects of fucking Ally, his mind even less willing to deal with anything at all. God, the feel of her in his arms, the way he'd pushed her over the edge, taken her so hard against the wall that she should've been complaining. But she hadn't, had she? She'd taken it all and come for him several times.
His cock stirred at the thought of it, and he smoothed a hand over his groin. What a way to break his self-imposed celibacy. He let himself in the back door and walked through to the family room where Rob still sat on the couch.
“Ally's home safe.”
Rob looked over the back of the couch at him, his blue eyes narrowed. “You took your time.”
Jackson managed a shrug. “What do you want me to say?”
“How about you tell me that you fucked her?”
“Yeah, I did.”
Rob's answer was slow to come. “Good for you.”
“Really?”
“Look, we've had all this out before.” He hesitated. “It fucking hurt when I found you and Ally together, but I thought we'd talked it through and gotten over it.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yeah.” Rob held his gaze, and then he nodded. “Yeah, I'm sure. It's what I said. This is a way for me to make it up to both of you for being such a dickhead back then.”
Jackson leaned against the door frame. “What exactly made Ally come 'round here tonight?”
“To the idea of fucking us both?”
“No, just 'round here.”
“She wanted to make amends for what happened back then.”
“And, what, you insisted she had to pay you back with sex?”
“Something like that.” Rob must have seen the skepticism on Jackson's face. “It's only sex, Jackson. That's all she offered.”
Jackson shook his head. “For such a smart guy, you can be such a dumbass sometimes.”
Rob started to get off the couch. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Don't blow it this time, buddy. Ally is way too special to lose.”
Rob shoved a hand through his hair. “I know that.” He hesitated. “It was the only way I could think of to get close to her again. The only way she'd let me.”
Jackson eyed his best friend and silently agreed with him. “I'm going to bed. I start at six.”
“Ally's starting a new job tomorrow as well.”
“Doing what?”
“Working at the diner.”
“For
Lauren?
”
“It was the best I could do. It was your idea!”
“That's like throwing a Christian to the lions.”
“Ally will cope.”
“I sure hope so.”
Rob stretched his arms over his head. “I had to find a way to keep Ally in town.”
“Because of the case or because of the sex?”
Rob's hard gaze met his. “Quit hounding me, okay?”
“Sure. Night, Rob.” Jackson pulled off his T-shirt and went into his bedroom. He could do with a shower, but he was reluctant to lose Ally's scent from his skin. With a groan, he pulled off his jeans and stroked his growing shaft. The scent of sex curled around him, and he decided on the shower.
It wasn't until he was standing under the hot water that it occurred to him that he hadn't worn a condom. . . .
8
D
amn, she was tired. Ally wiped her forehead and concentrated on stacking the pile of dirty glasses on the tray. It was quieter in the diner now, the breakfast rush over and the lunch crowd not yet in sight. With a sigh, Ally hefted the tray and headed back to the kitchen, using her shoulder to push through the swinging door.
She took the glasses and plates off the tray and started to load them into the middle of the three sinks. Mal, the dishwasher, wasn't at his post, so she contemplated washing the dishes herself.
“Ally? There are five tables to clean out here!” Lauren yelled.
Fig, the fry cook, gave her a sympathetic grin as she gathered up a clean wet cloth and her cleaning stuff and went back out. “You're doing good, Ally. Boss is just in one of her snits.”
Ally nodded and kept going. Lauren waited on the other side of the door, her expression impatient, her foot tapping. “Can't you go any faster? We need them all cleaned and reset before lunch.”
Ally didn't bother to try and defend herself. She probably was slow compared to Leon, the other busboy. She headed for the first of the tables and started loading things onto her tray.
Lauren followed her and Ally tensed. “Make sure you clean properly, and don't leave that there!”
Ally bit her lip and kept moving as fast as she could. Her feet hurt and her back was already killing her. She didn't dare glance up at the clock in case Lauren saw her.
“Boss?”
Lauren turned back to the kitchen door where Fig was waving at her. “What?”
“Someone on the phone for you.”
Ally watched Lauren's retreat with a grateful sigh. Was Lauren going to be like this every day, literally on her back critiquing everything she did? It seemed likely. With a soft groan, Ally kept clearing up, wiping tables and stacking dirty plates. One thing she'd learned was that hard work never killed anyone. She had to think about all the money she was saving for college. And at least it stopped her thinking about other stuff she didn't want to deal with right now.
She took the full tray back to the kitchen and sorted out the stuff. Mal was back at his post cleaning dishes and putting the glassware in the small machine by the side of the end sink. Ally's phone beeped, and she surreptitiously drew it out of her pocket to check it.
“I hope you're not using your phone at work, Ally.”
She looked up to see Lauren frowning at her. “Actually, my shift finished five minutes ago.”
Lauren carried on as if she hadn't heard her. “I don't allow cell phones.”
“I get that.” Ally eased the cheap phone back into her pocket. “As I said, I've already finished for the morning. I'll be back at nine tonight to clean up, okay?”
Lauren stepped out of the way, her expression still sour, as if she was almost disappointed that Ally had lasted this long. “Don't be late.”
“I won't be.” Ally manufactured a smile and headed for the back door. Fig met her coming the other way. He handed her a small wrapped parcel. “Here's your lunch.”
Ally glanced back at Lauren, but she was deep in conversation with one of the waitresses. “I don't think I get lunch.”
Fig shrugged. “Take it with you. It's an egg muffin sandwich.”
“Thanks, Fig.” Ally clutched the paper bag in her hand. “That's really nice of you.”
“No problem. See you tomorrow.”
Ally nodded and walked out, the heat from the wrapped sandwich warming her hand, much as Fig's thoughtfulness warmed her heart. The waitresses hadn't been too friendly with her either. But then she hadn't expected them to be. Her name was mud in this town and that was that.
She opened the paper bag and bit into the soft egg, fighting a moan of pure greed. By this time she was almost home, so she slowed down to finish the sandwich and then tucked the paper into her pocket. She heard her name being called and looked up to see Jane waving at her and managed a smile. “Hey.”
Jane strolled over, a small white dog peeking out of her big plaid purse. She wore a blue denim dress that reached midcalf and matched her eyes. “How are you doing, Ally?”
“Okay, I guess. How about you?”
“I'm fine.” Jane fell into step beside Ally. “What were you doing in the diner?”
“I'm working there, just temporarily.”
“Doing what?”
“Clearing tables, taking out the trash, the usual stuff.” Though Ally tried to keep her voice light, she knew from Jane's shocked expression that she wasn't buying it. “Where are you working now?”
“I teach fourth grade at the elementary school. That's why I'm not exactly busy right now.” Jane shuddered. “The thought of teaching summer school this year was too awful to contemplate.”
“Actually, I'm going back to college in the fall to train to be a teacher. That's one of the reasons I'm working through the summer, so I can save up some money.”
“You're going to be a teacher?” Jane smiled politely. “Well, good luck with that. I'm just about ready to retire, but the benefits are too good to lose.”
“I'm sure it's very hard work,” Ally said diplomatically. Jane wasn't the first teacher who had warned her off the career. Ally turned the corner onto her street and paused.
“Well, I have to get home now. I'm sure I'll see you again.”
But Jane was already looking past her to the sight of Jackson's big black truck parked in Ally's driveway. “Is that Jackson in your drive?”
Ally pretended to squint. “I'm not sure. Is that his truck?”
“It sure is.” Jane started walking again. “I wonder what he wants.”
It seemed from Jane's fierce expression that although she had forgiven Rob, and even Ally, for what had happened to her sister Susan, she didn't feel the same way about Jackson.
Jackson straightened up as Jane and Ally approached him and wiped his hands on an old rag. His black hair glinted with blue lights in the fierce sun. “Hey.”
“What are you doing here?” Jane demanded. “Don't you think Ally has enough to put up with without you bugging her?”
Over the top of Jane's head, Jackson met Ally's gaze. “I just came by to fix her truck light. I clipped it at the gas station the other evening.”
Ally frowned. “I already said you didn't have to do that, Jackson.”
Jackson shrugged, his muscles shifting under his black T-shirt. “It's no bother. Much cheaper than going through my insurance.”
Jane swung around to stare at Ally. “Do you want me to call Rob and have him get rid of Jackson?”
“No, it's okay. I'm fine with it.” Jane opened her mouth as if to argue and Ally continued. “But thanks for asking.”
Jane patted her dog's head. “Someone has to look out for you.” She directed a final glare at Jackson. “Now, you just finish up and leave Ally in peace, okay?”
Jackson nodded, his expression unmoved. “Yes, ma'am. It's already done anyway.”
“Then you can leave,” Jane stated.
A corner of Jackson's mouth kicked up. “I sure can. Later, Ally.”
He got into his truck and backed out of the driveway, waved to Ally, and disappeared down the street. Jane watched him go.
“Well that's the end of that.”
Ally shaded her eyes as the truck turned the corner. “I suppose he was only trying to be nice.”
“Nice? That man isn't nice. He broke Susan's heart—probably killed her as well.”
Startled, Ally stared at Jane. “You think Jackson killed Susan?”
Jane waved away the suggestion. “He might as well have. He messed up everything for you, Susan,
and
Rob, didn't he?”
“I hadn't really thought of it like that,” Ally said carefully, uneasy at the underlying venom in Jane's tone. “As far as I remember, I was the one who caused all the problems.”
“Huh, I always reckoned Jackson had a lot more to do with it than anyone thought. Who told Susan where to find you and him? That's what I've always wanted to know.”
Ally took out her door key and edged past Jane. “Thanks again, Jane. I really have to get going.”
With a shake of her head, Jane started smiling again. “No worries, Ally. See you 'round.”
Ally closed and locked the front door and watched until Jane took herself down the street. It was common for someone who suffered a violent bereavement to fixate on the causes and place blame everywhere, even when it obviously wasn't due, and it seemed that poor Jackson was Jane's chosen target. From what she'd seen, Jackson had no more forgiven himself for what happened that night than Ally had.
Ally paused to open the door into what was supposed to be the dining room of the house. She'd wondered, too, how Susan and Rob had known exactly where to find her and Jackson on that fateful night.
She snapped on the light and blinked at the closely packed boxes. What on earth had been going through her mother's head the last few years of her life? Had she ever thrown anything away? If there
was
a computer in here, it would take a while to find it. Ally rubbed her cheek and felt the accumulated grime and grease from the diner kitchen.
With a shudder, she retreated down the hall to her bedroom and then to the shower. A wash, a short nap, and she might be able to face the dining room again. It would have to be cleared out at some point.
 
Jackson knocked on Rob's door and went in. “Hey, I fixed Ally's truck.”
“She let you?”
Rob looked up from the report he was typing into the computer. Well,
typing
was perhaps too technical a word for the hunt-and-peck method he apparently favored.
Jackson straddled the chair in front of Rob's desk. “I didn't tell her I was going to do it, although she caught me just as I was finishing up.”
Rob grinned. “And how did that go?”
“She had Jane Evans with her, so she couldn't really lose it, and Jane was pissed off with me anyway.”
“She's always pissed off with you.”
“I know. She flat out tells everyone who'll listen that I killed Susan.”
Rob frowned. “She's never said that to me.”
“Well she wouldn't, would she? Number one, she doesn't want to make it official because it's not true, and two, she's infatuated with you and she knows we're good friends.”
“She's not infatuated. We share a good time occasionally, but there's no pressure.”
“Jeez, Rob, are you really that clueless? In her mind, she's already got you measured up for your wedding tux.”
Rob chose to ignore that. “Jane's always struck me as a levelheaded woman. Maybe she really has forgiven Ally.”
“Yeah, maybe because she's decided that it's all my fault.”
“Do you want me to talk to her about it?”
“And say what? ‘Jackson doesn't like it when you are mean to him'? That's gonna work.”
“Then what do you want?”
Jackson studied Rob for a long moment. “I don't know. I'm not sure why Jane was hanging around Ally either.”
“Why shouldn't she?”
“Because most people blame Ally and me for Susan's death, and you'd think Jane would be the first on that list.”
“I don't blame you or Ally. I'm way more interested in what Ally's mom was up to.”
“Really? I can't wait to hear you try and explain that to Ally. She might think you're looking up this old case to bring her down.”
Rob snorted. “As if I'd do that.”
“It sure would be a great revenge on us both, wouldn't it?”
Rob gave Jackson his full attention. “Just drop it, okay?”
“I'm not sure I can. I've just got this weird feeling that Ally coming back has changed everything.”
“Because we're both fucking her?”
“Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm waiting for it all to go wrong again.”
“That's because you've gotten used to not having anything good in your life. Why not just enjoy it?”
“Easy for you to say when you're just trying to get her on your side so that you can solve a forgotten case.”
“That's bullshit.” Rob's lazy smile disappeared. “Don't tell me what I'm doing.”
Jackson opened the door. “I wouldn't dare. Trust me. It will all come back and bite you in the ass anyway.”

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